A/N - I am kinda upset about NBC deciding to air blindspot tonight. I had a rough week and was really looking forward to this weeks episode, hoping it might brighten my mood. So I guess that's why I wrote this. Please not that English is not my native language. If you notice any mistakes, feel free to point them out.
Waking up in a duffle back, naked, completely covered with tattoos and with no memories is hard. Not knowing who you are, who you were is hard. Finally obtaining some pieces of your past, while starting to build a new life for yourself is hard. Only to find out that erasing your memory had been your own idea. Knowing you did this to yourself. Because you're supposed to be working against the organization, the people, who had somehow become your family in this new life. This team you call family, whom you betrayed in every way possible.
And now they've learned to never trust you again. And why should they? You chose not to tell them about Oscar. You chose to let them in the dark when the CIA kidnapped you. When you got a taste of what was going to happen to you. You did this to yourself. If you hadn't been so desperate to find out as much as you could about your past, they might have come to rescue you.
No. That isn't true. You might have considered them to be family. They only ever saw you as a team member. They might have valued your skills in de field. But they probably wouldn't have cared if you took a bullet for any of them. But that's okay. You don't deserve any of them anyway. You betrayed them. So you deserve to suffer the consequences. They trusted you to watch their backs out in the field. They shouldn't have. And now they don't.
Because of you Mayfair's dead. Because of you, David was killed. So many people. Dead. All because you had to erase your memory, because you wanted to find out about your past. You are the reason Kurt lost Taylor again. Why did you betray him? Why did you betray all of them? Because I had no choice, Oscar he would have killed them, Kurt he- No. Your fault. You could have gone to the park to meet Kurt that night. But you didn't. You had to go to Oscar, because you were so set on getting your answers. Now you get to face the consequences. Mayfair might still be alive if you hadn't gone to Oscar that night. Although you probably would have found another way to screw things up. I always seem to do. At least now I'm being treated the way I should.
You should have known this would happen. You should have realized it sooner. You made these bad decisions. But I didn't feel like I had a choice. If I hadn't completed those 'small' missions, Kurt might have been killed. That doesn't excuse the fact that you helped Oscar frame Mayfair. You betrayed their trust in you. More importantly, you betrayed him. Besides, you knew you were bound to be captured by de CIA anyway. You shouldn't be surprised they sent you to this hellhole. But knowing they sent me here willingly still hurts. To be tortured day, day out. I would have told the FBI everything I had kept from them. But they- he just didn't want to hear it. Even though they hate me, they're still the closest thing to family to me. I can't- won't tell the CIA anything. I won't betray them again. They had every right to hand you over to the CIA. They hate you. You betrayed them, they abandoned you. You can only trust yourself. Let them do their worst, I deserve it. I deserve the pain.
Her cell door creaked open. Three guards walked in to escort her to the spacious concrete room. "Ready to talk bitch?" one of the guards said, after spitting at her feet. Jane stayed silent. "Well, looks like we get to be creative again". Jane simply got up and let the guards take her. "Let's see how long you can hold your breath." I deserve this.
A/N - Okay, so I normally don't write stories. More like never. But I'll admit it felt kinda good to get this out of my system. I fully intend to write at least a couple more chapters, but I can't make any promises. Hope you enjoyed this first really short chapter of my first story. (Last time I wrote one I was 11 and had to write a fairytale for school. I don't like being forced to do something) Anyways, thanks for reading :)