Beastboy's Little Secret
Disclaimer: I Don't Own Teen Titans.
Summary: Raven discovers something very surprising about Beastboy, something no one would suspect. Why he's kept it a secret is even more surprising.
Beta: Dragon Wizard 91
Regular Speak
Regular Thoughts
Demonic or Animalistic Speak
Demonic or Animalistic Thoughts
Non-Demonic Higher Beings will change depending on mood
Beastboy stared at Raven with a stare that was rather bored yet somehow interested at the same time. She had just admitted to knowing who he was. It didn't really surprise him, at all. He always knew she would figure it out sooner or later, and their dating made it inevitable. The thing he was actually interested in though, was her reaction to this revelation.
"So, you're Khaos?" Raven asked with a raised eyebrow, sitting on the edge of her bed with her legs crossed, chin resting on her knuckles.
"God of the Gods, Source of reality, Father of the Primordials, and a lot of other titles," Beastboy answered with a shrug, sitting backwards on a swivel chair, using the top of the seat's back as a head rest.
"God in any other name," Raven mused idly. "Somehow, I'm not surprised that the Supreme Being has a personality like yours," She quipped, trying to keep an even stare, but one could see the sweat gathering on her forehead.
Beastboy just shrugged at the statement, "So, what tipped you off any?" He asked as he watched every emotion dancing in her eyes. Such fear and confusion radiated over this revelation, but hope and love still sparkled in those violet spheres.
"I went to wake you up yesterday...I tried to shake you awake and I...felt a slither of your memory...but that slither spanned for thousands, maybe millions of years. I left before you woke...but you probably knew," Raven answered as her shoulders started to shake, her eyes dilating.
"I tried to process it...but it became overwhelming. I saw how you molded planets from your own being and breathed life into them. I saw as you made the first cell and watched it evolve in the palm of your hand. I saw you make universes, watch them die, destroy them, and even reabsorb them," Raven narrated as her voice began to waver, her breath growing heavy and her eyes beginning to tear up. The strain of those divine memories was just too much, even for a half demon.
Beastboy, or Khaos rather, sighed as he saw her mentally starting to crack under the pressure of his memories. Those memories were never meant to be seen by anyone. Not because they were private, but because they were too incomprehensible for anyone else. Khaos saw with no eyes, heard with no ears, smelled with no nose. He could simply tell what he had made was like once he created it. And with no way of knowing how Raven-or rather Khaos in his memories-knew these things, her brain just couldn't cope with it.
Beastboy knew what was happening to Raven. He figured this might happen, but knew his memories would most likely be erased by her mind, like a few other minds that came in contact with his mind. The mind would try to understand the information, fail, and then delete the memories on instinct, much like how a computer deleted corrupted files.
Stepping in front of her, he placed his hands on her forehead and felt her tense under his touch. As a soothing feeling came over Raven, she relaxed and leaned against his frame. Some power flowed into her head, caressing her mind as the memories faded. She still knew of them, but they were vaguer, like she had read something crazy from a book, and at least now they weren't bombarding her psyche into dust.
Raven steadied herself, but didn't make Khaos remove his hands, "Why are you here?" She asked softly. It was the only question she had really. She knew he was basically God in the supreme sense of the word, so why would he be here in mortal form? Was he here to help the world? To answer someone's prayer? So many other questions rang in her head that she dared not ask- Why hadn't he come before? Why didn't he stop Trigon? Why did she suffer so much? So many whys, just as anyone else meeting the Supreme Being would have. However, she dared not ask these. Partially so not to offend him...and partially because there were answers she wasn't sure she wanted to know.
Khaos merely smiled at her, "Bored."
Raven's eyes widen in shock, "What?!" She all but yelled.
Khaos chuckled softly, "I had grown bored with creating. Partially since it was getting old and partially because I'm out of inspiration," He explained, no more helpful than before.
"Inspiration?" Raven asked, confused at why he would need inspiration for anything.
"Yeah, I'm currently using old creations to fuel ideas for new ones. I usually just observe more attentively, but I decided to come down to the mortal level, to some extent," He answered getting a very interested Raven's full attention, "For example, I'm thinking of making a universe with a naturally made robotic race that can change form. Though, they might end up with some unoriginal name like Autotrons or something like that."
"So...that's the only reason you're here?" Raven asked, trying to hide her feelings on that subject.
"That was why I came, but...I was reminded of how lonely I get 'up there' by myself," Khaos said as he looked upward for a moment. Technically, he didn't work up anywhere. He worked outside universes and dimensions, outside space and time. Technically, he worked inside himself, the Void.
"Lonely?" Raven asked softly.
Khaos nodded with a sigh as he stood and sat on the bed next to her, "My children are always busy with the universes after I make them. I could make more children, but it'll just be the same. Some have made their own stake in creation while others simple want to observe things while occasionally fiddling with mortal affairs. Mortals, on the other hand, don't want to stand next to omnipotence and see its wonder with no way of grasping it for themselves. Everyone wants power when they don't have it and can't stand being reminded of how powerless they are to anything else. I don't blame them though, I gave them that flaw by making them out of myself. They've tasted power before they existed and long to be powerful again," Khaos ranted lightly, more to himself than to Raven. Everyone wanted to be him. They just never realized what being Nobody was like.
Raven stared at the Lonely God for a long while before gathering her words, "Khaos...was anything you ever said to me true?" She asked, needing to know this if nothing else. Was their entire relationship, every sweet word and gesture, just an amusing lie for him to live out, something to relieve his boredom?
Khaos stared at her, knowing where this was going, "Yes, Raven, I love you," He stated without hesitation.
"Why?" She asked desperately, "How can I even believe that...?"
Khaos sighed in thought, "I didn't make you," He said softly, getting a raised eyebrow, "I don't make souls of divine blood, Raven. My children had their own personalities and so did their descendants. But mortal souls and their minds were made by me, based off my family. That's why I'm so uninterested in mankind- I can read them like a book. That's why I didn't stop Trigon," Khaos confessed, not a hint of remorse in his voice.
"Wait...doesn't that mean you're...?" Raven asked tentatively.
Khaos rolled his eyes in irritation this time, "Yes, I'm Trigon's grandfather. My son, Tartarus, finally tried mortal flesh and Trigon was the result," He said, raising an eyebrow at Raven's reaction. She was far less surprised than he expected, "You're not grossed out over me technically being your great grandfather?" He asked, slight confusion in his voice for the first time in a long time.
Raven shrugged, "I always knew that inbreeding wasn't a demonic or divine problem. One of my worries was that Trigon would rape me if I lived through being the portal," She answered honestly. She had never been truly raised around societal norms and had no real issue on certain things.
Khaos nodded in understanding, "This is why I love you Raven. You're a puzzle I can't solve as easily as my other children. But the more I solve, the more beautiful and wondrous the final piece seems to become. I love you Raven, I really do. I'm sorry I haven't been much help though-" He said, before being silenced by a kiss from Raven.
"Khaos, stop. I've seen reality through your eyes and I understand. You want your creations to grow on their own. You don't "want" us to suffer, but we can't be sheltered from everything. We look to you when we need help most and you answer in whatever way you deem adequate. Some rise and some fall. You have done nothing wrong," Raven assured, causing Khaos to smile in thanks. He had a tendency to brood sometimes when the hatred aimed at him started to build up. He was God, but the souls of all his creations were truly built in God's image- just as flawed, but with none of the power.
Raven then said one line that sent shivers down his eternal spine, "I know what you desire," She spoke in a whisper, almost tempting him to hope. "I know you want to know what it's liked to be loved by a lover and not a child or worshipper. I know how you long for someone to love you and not the ideal of you. Khaos, I will give you what you want, in whatever way it pleases you, if you'll let me," Raven said, all the love in her soul radiating in her voice. Khaos didn't need to look to know her cloak was fading to white.
"And how would I let you?" He asked, somewhat unsure.
"Don't stop me," She answered as she started kissing him again, pushing him down onto the bed. Raven could tell one thing...Khaos, the God of All-Things, was a virgin...for now at least.
End of Chapter
Let me share you a little secret, folks. This one shot is was made back in 2011, making it over three years old. I did this as one of my many random scenes I share with my beta, Dragon Wizard 91. I dug into some of our old messages and found this old little gem. Copied it onto wordpad, polished in up a bit, and that's it. Felt good too. Reminded me of why I alway loved writing God characters. I mostly don't care about the power, I just find them so interesting to write and make. And this was made back in my less-skilled, but very content years of writing. And something about this put an new spark in my systems.
Well, I hoped you all enjoyed this charming little oneshot I created. Nothing more to say on the matter really. Hope to see your thoughts on this in the reviews!