Well, I'm writing a new story and it's going to be new for me. Lots of chapters! Which means I'm going to really push myself to be updating at least once a week, if not more. It's summer, but it's harder than you think because my friends are always planning tons of things to do, which is really fun, but leads to less down time, therefore less writing. But hopefully, since I have this semi-mapped out in my head, it will work out how I want it to and yes.

In any event, enjoy.
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Well it's full speed baby
In the wrong direction
There's a few more bruises
If that's the way you insist on heading

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The heat on the subway platform presses against her skin like dead weight, wrapping Meredith Grey up in its stickiness and squeezing her until her skin glistens with sweat. She reaches up with her hand and pushes the loose bits of hair that have escaped her ponytail and cling to her damp skin. A few feet down a street performer drums enthusiastically on a plastic bucket, crying out some sad song meant to move people to drop whatever change they have into the hat that lays out in front of his feet. Everyone else jostles by, loud tourists spreading their maps open wide to get a sense of their location with in the city, and young teens engaging in aggressive conversation laugh in loud, syncopated rhythms. Others just look bored, staring down the track waiting for another train and then sighing loudly, when they don't see it, leaning back into their heels and flipping to the next page of the newspaper. Somewhere, to the left, a baby cries and a woman speaking a language that Meredith does not know, or recognize, moves to comfort the child. She rolls her head back, releasing the air in between the bones in her neck with satisfying pops and letting her muscles stretch. She snaps her head to attention when the two beams of light and rush of hot air that announced the arrival of her train came, and she crowded around the door with the rest of the passengers. It opens and people rush off against the flow of people rushing in, Meredith tries to not get swept up with the people and hurries to a seat where she an sit, albeit wedged between two plump passengers, and rest her travel weary legs.

She lets her shoulders sink back into the cool, plastic seat, lets her lids flutter shut, so that she can take in the sounds around her, and revel in the air-conditioned car. Even in a city full of millions of people, and in the packed subway car, Meredith somehow manages to have the solitude that she felt she needed when she made this hurried trip to the East coast. Something in Seattle was smothering her. And when she had returned to the hospital the day after Burke and Cristina's cancelled wedding, and Derek had stared at her with that sad look in his blue eyes, and Bailey had told her that her half-sister Lexie was now a surgical intern had Seattle Grace, she had thrown in the towel. She rushed to Chief Webber's office and asked him for the time off that she hadn't asked for when she had died, her mother had died, or Susan had died. She returned back to her town house and threw whatever she could find in a suitcase and had taken the first flight she could get clear across the country and in no time she was in New York City, on a crowded subway car taking the downtown 6 train to wherever.

Meredith does not regret her need to flee; it's something that she has done since childhood. Sometime in her youth, around six when she realized that her father was never coming home and that nights spent without a nanny and being cared for by her mother would be rare, she had packed a plastic care bear suitcase with as many Barbies and Jell-o mixes as she could find and tried to run away. In high school she had dyed her hair an angry shade of pink and driven to house parties near and far, in search of adventure. And after college she had fought with her mother until she had been able to go backpacking through Europe, spending foreign currency on cheap beer and sleeping with men who, when added together, spoke more languages than she could count on her fingers. In comparison to these actions, Meredith supposes that her surprise what one couldn't quite call a vacation, to New York is rather tame and logical. Now she is an adult, she can take care of herself, and with the sum total of her mother's life savings combined with her own measly intern salary, she is thankful that this time around she can at least afford to drink the expensive imported beer and sleep in something a few stars up from a dirty youth hostel.

Either way, hours into her arrival, Meredith hasn't had a drink, or spent that much time in her hotel, and instead rides the subway. It's packed with too many foul scents and sounds for her to focus for more than a moment on the fact that she has abandoned Cristina, possibly when she needs her most, or what McDreamy will think when he realizes that she's gone, and her newfound re-realization that happy endings do not exist in the state of Washington. So she squeezes her eyes shut, takes another deep breath, and allows the subway car to rock her gently into a peaceful half-slumber.

---

Somewhere on the Upper East Side Meredith's eyes fly open and she drags the back of her hand across her mouth, hoping to catch and stray traces of saliva that might have made their way out of her mouth. She blinks rapidly, to clear her eyes of fog, and her head snaps up from the cool, metal railing that she is pressed up against. By this hour there are few passengers on the train and it is mostly silent, the tinny sounds of someone's headphones playing an aggressive Latin rhythm that carries throughout the car. Across from her a wrinkled old man gives her a toothy grin, and down the car to the left she can see that a homeless woman also slumbers, albeit slumped awkwardly on a giant trash bag full of Lord-knows-what. The train comes to a screeching halt and as her shoulder rock from side to side; she realizes that this is her stop.

It isn't until Meredith is stretching her legs up the steps that lead out of the subway, and is thrust into the brightly lit streets of the city that she realizes she has spent her entire day on the subway, underground, save for a few stops in the Bronx. She stops for a second at the top of the staircase, disoriented and trying to get a sense of her direction, before pulling herself together and walking down Lexington towards 87th Street, where her hotel lies. The streets are busy despite the late hour and Meredith is certain that New York lives up to its reputation as the city that never sleeps.

The doorman at her hotel is still posted, and holds the door open wide with a courteous "Good evening," and Meredith bites her lips nervously at the first words that anyone has spoken directly to her that day. Somewhere on the elevator, as it shoots up to her destination, the length of the day, and the extent of her travel hits her, and her body sags limply to the elevator wall with its force. She is tired, and her legs are burdened with a combination of sleep and sadness once she arrives at her room.

The glaring desk clock reminds her of the time, and she instinctively calculates the three-hour difference between New York and Seattle, trying not to wonder what everyone is doing in her absence. Or how Izzie and Alex took the rushed note that she had left, informing them of her impromptu trip before heading out to catch the van to the airport. Thinking about Izzie and Alex ultimately leads her to think of Cristina, and flopping down on her bed with a sigh, she reaches into her purse, turns on her cell phone and dials the familiar number.

Cristina answers on the third ring. "Where did you go?" Her words tumble out of her mouth, pushing against each other into one long string of syllables.

Meredith takes a deep breath before she speaks. "I'm in New York." She kicks off her shoes.

"The city?"

"Yes."

"Why?" Cristina's voice is filled with incredulity.

"I just needed… to breathe." She squeezes her eyes shut on the bed, and curls her body up into the fetal position. "I'm sorry I left you, how are – how are things?"

Meredith lets herself ask the completely loaded question and is not surprised when Cristina takes a long beat before answering.

"It's better now that I'm back at the hospital," she admits. "I thought it would be worse, and people would talk and look at me like I was that poor, sad intern who got left at the altar, but I think getting gossiped about in the hospital is more your thing."

Meredith could cry tears of joy at the sarcasm that is evident in her voice, because it is a sign that her best friend hasn't fallen apart, completely.

"Maybe if the two of us can at least keep it half together, we can make one full, normal person," she quips, and Cristina laughs in response.

"Well, thanks for skipping out on me and heading clear across the country. When are you planning on coming back?"

"I don't know, I didn't think that far ahead, it was kind of a spur-of-the-moment thing."

"Who takes a spur-of-the-moment trip from Seattle to New York?"

"Girls with evil half sisters who are now interns at Seattle Grace," Meredith grimaces and can hear Cristina letting out a surprised breath.

"Which one is she?"

"I don't know what she even looks like, but her name is Lexie, Lexie Grey."

The line is quiet for a while, as Cristina processes this new bit of information. "You never even met her when your dad's wife was trying to be your friend?"

"Nope, the only one I ever saw was the one with the baby," Meredith moves a hand up to rub her temple. "But you know, this is just my luck."

"It's not luck, or bad luck, or anything, it just is what it is Mer," Cristina points out. "Or at least that's what I keep telling myself."

Meredith sighs, loudly, "For once I don't want to talk about my problems anymore, can we go back to yours."

"Fine," her friend grunts. "I think I want my old apartment back, it's too weird trying to live here without Burke," her voice loses its strength towards the end of the sentence, and Meredith fears that she's going to lapse back into tears.

"I wish you could stay with us, but I already gave George's room to Alex," Meredith apologizes.

"No, it's okay, I could never live in Casa Intern, Izzie is toxic, and I've heard too many stories about all the loud sex you and McDreamy have all night."

"McDreamy and I aren't having sex anymore," hard as she tries, Meredith cannot keep the bitterness out of her voice.

"You know he's going to look for you," Cristina points out.

"I know."

"And what am I supposed to say when he asks me where you are?"

"I don't know, I hadn't really thought about it?" she answered, lamely, her voice rising up at the end of the sentence to form a question out of the phrase.

"Well, you know when you make up your mind about it, do me a favor and let me know."

"You can tell him, you can tell him that I went to New York," Meredith finally says. "But you know, don't tell him where I'm staying, not that you even know where I'm staying, but I just don't want him to worry."

"You know that's useless, but whatever, I'll only tell him if he asks, not that he won't ask."

Meredith cringes, "Ugh, just – whatever, new subject, how is everyone else?"

"I think Izzie is going crazy, something's wrong with Alex but I'll never ask, and George failed the intern exam."

"What?!" Meredith's eyes fly open with shock and she sits up straight in the bed. "Why didn't you tell me that to begin with?"

"Um, because you were missing from Seattle, and that's not the type of information you bring up first thing. It's his bad news, I'm not completely heartless, and you know there's a reason why he didn't tell us in the locker room before the – that day," Cristina corrects herself, not wanting to mention the wedding that was not quite.

"Touché," Meredith murmurs. "So… what's he going to do?"

"He's repeating."

"Shit."

"That's what I said."

"Shit."

"This is why we're friends Grey."

"What would you do, if you failed?"

"Failure's not an option."

Meredith rolls her eyes, even though she knows Cristina will never see it. "Seriously, what would you do?"

"I don't know, drink… heavily? What would you do?"

"I don't know, maybe run away to the East Coast?"

"You're not going to tell me that you failed too, and that's why you're in New York, right?"

"God, no."

"Good, because I definitely prefer the evil half-sister and McDreamy problems excuse to that."

"Stop bringing him up," Meredith scowls.

"I'm sorry, it's just – they were friends."

"Derek and Burke?"

"Yeah, and I can't – do you think maybe he said something to him? About it? Like he always knew that was how it was going to end and confided in someone and everyone just went along and the two of them knew, and it was some joke they were in one and I wasn't?"

Cristina's voice cracks and Meredith's heart breaks for her friend despite the 3,000-mile difference. "Derek wouldn't do that, he's not the kind of guy who would have known and wouldn't have said anything."

"I guess that's what makes him McDreamy."

"I guess."

"You do know that I hate you for leaving me?"

"I'm sorry, I really am" Meredith says, her words honest.

"I know, just – figure your stuff out and come back soon."

"OK."

They murmur their goodbyes, and Meredith turns her phone off as soon as the lines are disconnected. She lets her head fall back in the pillows, and drifts off to sleep, fully dressed and with the lights on.

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So I know a lot didn't actually happen, but you have to set up the story and everything in the beginning. So please bear with me and tell me what you think so far! I'm actually really excited to write the rest of this story, in a way that I've never been before. And that makes me really, really nerdy. I know. But seriously, just thinking about it makes me feel all warm inside.