A/N:
I gave this story the old twice-over, but I don't expect to find all the grammatical mistakes and misspellings. As such, I need a Beta. If you are, or know someone who is, a Beta, and are willing to Beta my story, please PM me!
Until then, enjoy the chapter!
Chapter 1
Lost in Time
To whom it may concern;
If you are reading this, then I am dead…
(Or I faked my death and/or some woman claims her child is mine, WHICH IT MOST CERTAINLY FUCKING ISN'T)
Yes, dead. I, Harry James Potter, am dead by some nebulous cause that I couldn't care less about, because I am dead.
Are we on the same page, now? Good.
I'm going to tell you a bit of a story about my life up to this point so that a Rita-Skeeter type doesn't misconstrue my story.
We, or in this case, you, the reader, know my life up to the death of Lord Voldemort. However, what happened after has been up to much debate with all forums of theorizing. Some say I went on, married Ginny Weasley, and lived happily ever after.
Those people are morons, I would never marry, as I'll explain later.
Others says I became a recluse and just lived off the Potter wealth, that is partly true.
The only real answer is; I stopped caring.
With Voldemort dead, I owed Britain nothing, so I decided; 'Fuck it, I'm rich.' I left Britain with millions of Galleons in my pocket and traveled the world, leaving all my responsibilities behind.
Naturally, I pissed off a lot of people by doing that. Ignored the summons to be awarded the Order of Merlin, told my friends nothing when I left, and took all my money with me, pissing off the goblins to no end.
Several of my friends rounded on me, calling me a 'coward' for running out on Ginny, which I may be. I like to think that our relationship was really the after effect of my desperation for companionship in a difficult time. However, now that I was free of Voldemort and allowed to do as I pleased? I was an abused kid for most of my life, of-fucking-course I'm going to live a little! If they wanted to deal with me after the fact, then more power to them.
Anyways, after five years of blowing money, my coffers were a little low, so I decided to get into a new business. You see, smuggling is a dead useful job in the magical world, many, many, dark artifacts just waiting to be moved, illegally, across the world for astounding prices.
My first job was in, obviously, Egypt. Some corrupt official wanted this cursed urn moved to India to be sold. He couldn't move it himself without being caught by Indian officials, so i transferred it by buying a bunch of vases and calling them all 'Egyptian art'.
Don't worry, the job more than paid for the vases.
I was paid, the man got his urn, I reported him to the officials and got paid twice, score!
Fast-forward two weeks, turns out urn-guy told a friend how I got the urn across, but never how I turned him in afterwards. This man wants me to move a Nundu, an actual live, full sized, Nundu out of Nambia, pays well, most upfront.
All I have to do it move it to South Africa where his men will take care of it. I move it with little trouble, just had to Imperius curse it and then it was a piece of piss.
I debated, briefly, turning them in, but then I realized, if everyone I work for gets arrested, how will I ever get more jobs?
So, this started my smuggling career, I quickly became very popular, as my fame allowed me to bluff my way out of most situations. With guards and officials, that is.
By 2005, I was a fairly well known smuggler in the underground, went by a throw away name of 'Francis Morecash' when out of a job, so that only the people who hire me know my actual identity. Best part? Obliviate them afterwards so they forget who I was.
So, the last time I updated this was 2007… October… 5th? Yeah… I've got a job to do, smuggling some sort of transportation rune stones and time turners…
~ Harry Potter
It was beginning to set into the colder seasons in the midwest United States, replacing the far nicer summer a few months earlier.
Which kind of sucked, as my contact was late, and I was sitting in nothing but a vest, dress shirt, slacks, and boots in 13oC.
The warehouse where we agreed to meet was a few kilometer north some town in 'South Dakota', far from any sign of civilization or intelligent life. It was, based on the signs out in the front, used for some national trucking company, which weren't using these warehouses this season.
I began to pace, partially to keep myself entertained and partially to warm up as I rubbed my arms and shivered. In the center of the warehoused was the two crates, both stamped with 'this side up' on their sides.
You always had to be careful with rune stones and timeturners, even the slightest bit of damage could be catastrophic, and certainly put a wrench in your plan of living.
I stopped, checking my simple, gold watch again, it was 2:35 AM, they were half-an-hour late. With a grumble, I continued, look side to side and listening for any sound of apparations, or vehicles.
All I heard was the chattering of my teeth and the uneven sound of the gravel under my feet moving with each one of my steps.
As I began to dream about my nice, warm, hotel back in 'Sioux Falls', I heard the distinct sound of apparation, the tell tale pops coming from…
All around.
My heart plummeted as I quickly ran up the stairs for the catwalk and to one of the windows, looking out. Dozens of figures moved around in the darkness, all of them with their wands drawn.
"Shit…" I said, pulling out my portkey.
"Abomasum." I said, followed by a brief pull at the back of my navel before I was brought back to the present, having not moved an inch.
"Shit!" I swore, though my voice was still harsh and low, trying to avoid unneeded attention. In a last ditch effort, I tried to apparate after drawing my wand from my wrist holster.
Nothing, they had already erected wards around the warehouse, I was thoroughly trapped. I swore a few more times, running back down the stairs as one of the men began speaking.
"Attention, Francis…" The man paused as I reached the crates with the rune stones, ripping it open with a quick flick of my wand.
The man sighed before continuing; "Morecash, we have you surrounded and we have wards erected, any attempt to escape will fail! Surrender yourself!" While I pulled out three rune stones, I chuckled to myself about how I would never surrender to a guy that 'erected' wards…
The seriousness of the situation settled back in as I arranged the three stones in a triangle around me, speeding up as the man started counting.
"10!" I placed the last one before drawing my wand again.
"9!" I put the end of my wand at the first marker, dragging it and making a line in the gravel.
"8!" I finished the first line, moving on to the second with as much urgency as I could without messing up the ritual/rune.
"7!" The second line was finished. I could feel the sweat beginning to bead on my forehead as I worked, time was working against me…
"6!" For a brief moment, I found it weird he would give me so much time, but figured he wasn't very confident in fighting a criminal as notorious as 'Francis Morecash'.
"5!" The final line was finished, so I rose to my feet.
"4!" I ran to the center of the triangle I had made, raising my wand hand hand and closing my eyes.
"3!" I took a deep breath, focusing my mind on my study back in Britain, knowing where I wanted to land.
"2!" The ritual began to glow white, undoubtedly showing through the windows.
"What the- Open fire!" I smiled, it was too late. Just as the ritual took effect, several 'reductor' and 'bombarda' curses rocked the warehouse, blasting it apart. I opened my eyes, a confident smile on my face.
That smile vanished instantly as I watched a 'bombarda' blast into the crates holding all my time turners, and what replaced it was a look of horror as time turners flew apart, spilling their sands everywhere, namely, on my ritual.
"NO-" I started, trying to dive away from whatever reaction was taking place, the light from the ritual changing from a white to a sandy yellow.
It was too late for me this time.
The whole word went yellow.
My mind slowly came around, dragging itself out of its slumber. For a moment or two, I just lay on the ground, eyes squinted shut to whatever light source was above me. My mind slowly began working again as I tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes. I felt the ground I was lying on, finding dirt and grass coming up with my blind grabs. I gave a drawn out groan, trying to force myself to sit up. My body groaned in protest, agreeing with my mind that sleep was a far more welcoming prospect.
I forced my eyes open after sitting up, squinting to the light still shining in my face. I reached into my sleeve, trying to draw my wand only to find the holster… Empty.
Panic immediately overtook me, my heart rate skyrocketing as I felt blindly around me for a few seconds. Eventually, it clicked with me that I could probably use my extra wand to help. I pulled up my pant leg and pulled my extra wand free from its holster on my ankle.
"Accio my wand!" There was a slight sound of the wand gliding through the air before it poked me in my already sore eye.
"Bugger! Stupid… Wand…" I grumbled, one hand over my eye while the other grabbed blindly for my fallen Holly wand. I found it, putting it back where it belonged, in my wrist holster. With that one back in place, I returned my spare before viciously rubbing my eyes, trying to clear my blurry vision.
It was in doing that when I realized I didn't have my glasses on, and for a second I wondered how I survived until the age of twenty.
"Accio my glasses." I said, after drawing my primary wand and giving it a small wave. My glasses hit my chest lightly before falling on my lap. I pulled them on and sighed with relief, now able to see.
Of course, being able to see did not help alleviate my confusion as I realized I was sitting in a forest, and forest I don't remember entering. I looked around for any sign of civilization, but there was nothing in sight aside from the dense undergrowth and tall trees surrounding me.
I reached into my vest pocket, pulling out my portkey. It was a simple compass with the needle charmed to always point in the direction of the portkey's final destination. It was a neat gimmick, but it didn't really help with finding your direction unless you knew which direction the portkey location was based on where you were standing.
When I looked at the needle, my heart plummeted. Instead of steadily pointing in a given direction, it was spinning wildly, picking up speed and slowly down, seemingly at random.
"Abomasum." I said, my voice filled with a mixture of hope and fear. I expected the familiar pull behind my navel as the portkey dragged me along, or at least tried to.
Yet, nothing happened. There was no pull or even attempted pull, Harry was just sitting in a forest somewhere with a worthless compass.
"Abomasum." I cried again, desperation and panic filling my voice. Again, nothing came of the order, the needle just continued to spin uselessly. My brain tried to reason that, maybe the ritual had… Damaged the portkey!
Yeah, that doesn't make any sense, but that's all I could think of!
I stood up, focusing a few feet in front of me and apparating. There was a low crack and I apparated to where it was that I was focusing on. So I could apparate, which meant… The portkey was just broken…
I returned it to my pocket, drawing my wand and placing it on the palm of my hand.
"Point me; Potter Manor." I ordered it, hoping to find civilization in whichever direction it pointed in. The wand spun around once, then twice, and then a third time before my heart dropped for the third consecutive time.
I closed my hand around the wand to stop it before trying again, getting the same result. I tried three more times, more our desperation and panic then any reasonable idea that it might work.
"Point me; Hogwarts!" Nothing.
"Point me; Great Britain!" Nothing.
"Point me; Earth!" I said the last one more out of exasperation than actually expecting something to happen. Much to my surprise, it did point in a direction. It balance on one end, pointing up into the sky. I looked up, which was a mistake as the sun was high in the sky.
I was… dumbfounded… No, that would mean…
My breath came out in short gasps as I toppled, falling into a tree with a hand over my chest.
"Nonononono. I'm just unconscious! This is all a hallucination! Yeah!" I reasoned with myself like a crazy person, probably looking the part to anyone who might have been watching.
"I'm being carted off to prison, where I will wake up, back on Earth, perfectly fine!" I said with a panicked laugh, hugging my knees to my chest and trying to calm myself. I sat there for a few seconds before I managed to retake control. I wasn't the same kid a decade ago, I wasn't about to let my fear control me.
Now I was pissed, someone had double crossed me somewhere, and by Merlin they would pay! I'm stuck in either bum-fuck Midwest, or I'm hallucinating while unconscious. Either way, someone's paying for this one, and it isn't me!
I also realized, I was ruined. They would discover it was Harry Potter who was the infamous 'Francis Morecash'. My fame wouldn't be able to keep me afloat, and there was nothing I could do to stop the wave of crimes I had committed in my last decade of life. Killing a dark lord just isn't worth as much nowadays…
Done feeling sorry for myself, I stood up and decided to wander for a bit in a direction, if only to find civilization or pass the time until I woke up in some American prison.
I walked for a few minutes before remembering my last tool for information. I held up my right hand, revealing a trio of rings. Two of them were for the houses I was, technically, the head of, Black and Potter. However, the last held a far more important value to me then the title of Lord, it was the resurrection stone, the same that Voldemort turned into a horcrux.
I had rediscovered the ring in Dumbledore's office, and with a simple repairing charm, brought it back to working order. Why Dumbledore never did it himself, I will never know. I asked him, but he purposely didn't respond until I asked something else.
Speaking of which…
I twisted the little gem on the top of the ring three times before saying; 'Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore'. I had expected to see his shade coalesce in front of me, for dark smoke to swirl and take the form of my vague, but well meaning, Headmaster.
Nothing happened, Dumbledore didn't appear. The ring didn't even try from the looks. I tried again, turning it three times and saying Dumbledore's full name.
"Sirius Orion Black!" I tried, nothing happened.
"James Potter!" No wisps of smoke, my father did not appear.
"Remus Lupin!"
"Lily Potter!"
"... Fuck it… Severus Snape!" Nothing happened, and my anger and fear rose up again.
"Oh, come on, you greasy bastard, you never passed up an opprotunity to mock me before!" I shouted at no one in particular, glaring daggers at the ring on my finger. If I was truly unconscious, then why would my subconscious make the ring not work… I shook my head as if to clear that silent doubt from it, I had to be asleep, the ring had never not worked, even if some of the listed people didn't want to talk to me…
I continued walking, listening to the twittering of birds and the crackle of twigs and small, ankle high plants under my feet.
After, about, fifteen minutes, I arrived at the edge of the forest I had been unceremoniously dropped in. I was standing at the top of a hill, overlooking sprawling farmlands.
"Maybe I am in the midwest…" I murmured, walking down the hill, towards the fence that blocked me off from the crops.
The fence was chest high and made of… metal? Not the wire mesh you would find around farm land, nor was it barbed wire, it was thick steel, if I know my metals. I knocked my knuckles on the metal, it was solid. A wealthy farmer if they were using this much metal for their pastures.
I looked in either direction, it was just endless miles of fencing as far as the eye could see.
I looked back at the crops, briefly wondering what they were doing, growing anything in October, when I realized something.
I had never seen a plant like them before, though I did barely pass herbology. I shook my head, strange plants, aside, I needed to find out where I was. I drew my wand again, placing it in the middle of my palm.
"Point me; Sioux Falls." The wand spun for a few seconds before, with a scowl, I closed my hand around it. That raised the question, where on god's green Earth was I?!
I checked my watch, mechanical so that I didn't have to deal with magic ruining one, and found that it was sometime around 4:00 AM.
I looked up at the noon sky and deducted that was wrong.
I needed to find civilization, but first, that required transportation. I reached into my pocket and drew out a small, brown pouch that, at first glance, looked as if it would hold nothing more than a few Galleons.
It was, however, one of my most prized possessions, which in turn held my other possessions. It was a moleskin pouch with a near endless interior, the wonders of magic. I opened it and drew my wand.
"Accio motorcycle." Out came a small motorcycle, small enough to fit in the palm of my hand. I set it down on the ground before stepping back and removing the shrinking enchantments on it. Where the miniature sat a moment before now sat, in all its magnificence, a 1959 Triumph 650 T 120 Bonneville. Sirius's old 1959 Triumph 650 T 120 Bonneville, now belonging to me when Hagrid turned it over after the war. It was a beautiful bike, in my ever-so humble opinion. I had removed its sidecar, repainted it from that ugly blue to a far more fitting black, and repaired the modifications made to it during the war.
A few traps in case pursuers proved tough to get rid of.
I pointed my wand into the pouch again, summoning a key ring to my hand. It was small, a picture of a phoenix attached alongside the key to the Triumph.
After returning the pouch to my pocket, I ran one hand over the tank before kicking my leg over the seat. Once I was comfortably situated, I twisted the key and used the kickstart to bring the motorcycle to life, its engine roaring. Before I set off, I put my wand on my hand one last time.
"Point me; North." It turned, facing to the right, for once not spinning like a top. I looked in the direction it pointed, along the fence. With no where better to go, I revved the engine and took off, the motorcycle growing deafening as I rode along the fencing.
Riding my old Triumph was exhilarating, a feeling I had been missing for the last few years what with all my work. There was just something about riding a motorcycle, with the wind cutting across your face as the bike rocks on uneven terrain, that just feels right.
I reached the end of the fencing after half an hour, if my watch was to believed. I turned and started following it west, confused as to why I had yet to find any roads. I may be out in the country, but that doesn't mean there aren't, at the very least, gravel roads.
A quick glance showed my fuel was still near full, thank Merlin for expansion charms.
I road for nearly another hour before I finally spotted something, off on the horizon. From where I was, it looked to be a… building of sorts, though it was still too far-away to tell. With renewed vigor, I twisted the throttle and raced ahead, hoping to find where I was.
I slowed down as I reached the building, a… House. A strange one at that, it was two stories, from the looks, with tan, stone walls and a green, metal roof.
Turning the bike, I drove through a gap in the fence and up to the house. There was a car of sorts parked in front, though it seemed to just be sitting on the ground, lacking wheels, a roof, windows… And a number of other things.
I stopped my Triumph and kicked out a kickstand, ensuring the bike wouldn't fall over. I dismounted and walked up to the front door, massaging my hands after they had sat, holding the handlebars for so long.
When I walked up to the door, I noticed it was lacking something very useful for a door, a doorknob. Not to mention, the door itself was metal.
I stopped at this strange door, looking it up and down for any sign of how it was opened. Looking to the side of the doorway, there was a control panel of sorts with a number of labeled buttons, all of them in a language I didn't know. That crossed off the idea that I was still in the USA, unless Americans had started using strange symbols to replace words.
There were three buttons in total, one green, one red, and one white. Figuring that the red and green buttons closed and opened the door, and wondering what farmers were doing with this kind of technology, I pushed the last button. I was greeted by a ringing from within the building, muffled by the walls and closed door. I turned back to said door, waiting for someone to answer. For a few moments, no one came, and I debated trying again.
It was then that the door opened, revealing a two meter tall…
Robot.
I gaped at it, not sure how to respond as I looked a robot. It had a grey body with glowing, yellow eyes. Its mouth was an immobile rectangle roughly where a human's mouth would be. It was generally humanoid, though it had a few differences. It arms seemed to be stuck at a permanent angle, locked in place by matching bars of metal. It knees also seemed to not properly bend, as when the door opened it waddled into the doorway.
It spoke, though not in a language I recognized or spoke. For another second or two, I gaped like an idiot.
Finally, my sense came back to me and I spoke.
"U-uh. Hi, I was just wondering where I was?" I said simply, still staring at this strange robot. It spoke again, the voice coming out as strangely human, even though it was, by all appearances, a robot.
"I'm sorry, I don't understand you. Do you speak français? No? Deutsche? Magyar?" I listed, but the robot did not respond in any of them, which I guessed was fortunate, I needed a translator for two of those three, and any French I learned was while drunk, and was mostly curses.
A voice called from somewhere in the building, clearly feminine and in the form of a question. The robot turned as far as it could without moving its legs, responding.
After a moment, a woman stepped from one of the rooms inside the home. She seemed to be middle-aged, her hair greying in places, while holding its brown color in others.
She walked up behind the droid, speaking to it in their strange language. She looked at me after the droid responded, asking me a question.
"I. Don't. Know. What. You. Are. Saying." I said, my exasperation growing with every word, this wasn't going nowhere! The woman looked at me, raising an eyebrow, before speaking to her robot again. It spoke in its strangely alive voice before looking at me and trying to point west.
It said something, and to my blank stare, repeated it.
"Theed." It said again, trying to put some movement in the point. I looked at its pointed finger, in the direction it was pointing in, then back to its face.
I thought for a moment, Theed sounded like a name, unless it meant 'leave' or something. I looked at the woman, who merely gave a small smile. Knowing I was going to get nowhere with these two, I dipped my head.
"Thank you." I said, knowing neither understood the words, but seem to understand the actions.
I returned to my Triumph, going through the steps to start her up.
With a kick, the engine roared to life, making both the woman and, somehow, the droid jump, as if they hadn't expected a motorcycle to be so loud. I merely quirked my eyebrow up at them before twisting my bike around and leaving the farm, gunning it west, in the direction the droid had pointed.
Theed, as it turned out, was a city half a day's trip to the west. The city was fairly large, all with architecture matching the farm I came across earlier.
The sun was beginning to set, meaning I would need to find somewhere to rest soon.
I slowed my bike down as I approached the town, but I was still unable to hear the engine of another vehicle over my own. From overhead, an… Aircraft of sorts flew by, scaring the living daylights out of me.
So stunned was I that I simply stared, gaping, at the ship was it entered the city, slowing to a complete stop before landing.
The aircraft had no clear way of flying, nor turning and moving vertically, yet it had just down all three right before my eyes.
Where was I?!
I rode through the open gates to the city, slowing down significantly and easing into traffic.
I took me a solid two minutes to notice two things; firstly, all the other vehicles around me lacked wheels, and were hovering a few inches off of the ground. Second, nearly everyone was staring at me and my excessively loud Triumph.
It was not a stunned or annoyed glare, as I looked around I found it was leaning on disgust and distaste. I knew people had a tendency to dislike bikers, but seriously…
I was far more interested in the levitating cars than their distaste, anyways. I couldn't hear any of them over my bike, so I had no idea what kind of power was being used to keep them moving. Did I travel to Japan or Korea when I wasn't looking?!
And did they get hovering cars at some point without me noticing?!
I turned on my blinker and turned down another street, this one more empty of other vehicles, but with just as many pedestrians, all who shared the distaste with my choice of vehicle as those before.
I wasn't really paying attention to them, instead looking up at the signs above buildings and shops, not that i could read them. They were all in the same gibberish as the buttons at that farmhouse.
I was so focused that I nearly missed the people blocking the road up ahead. Luckily, I was moving slow enough to stop quickly and put my legs down, keeping the bike upright.
There were five men in front of me, all armed with the strangest looking guns I had ever seen. All of them wore some sort of leather armor over red or yellow uniforms, looking official, probably police.
It took me a moment to realize they were glaring daggers at me, and the front most was trying to signal to me to cut the engine. Figuring it was in my best interest to hear what they had to say, I turned my Triumph off, many people looking relieved when the engine went out. The leader yelled at me, of course, in the same gibberish as the woman and robot from earlier. I just stared blankly at him, wondering if I had broken some law at some point to get their attention, they were clearly some form of authority based on how everyone had stopped to watch.
I had been in this position before, people only wanted to stop and stare if police were involved, after all, few people were dumb enough to open fire on police.
I played with the idea of just apparating or taking off with my bike, but the idea of getting in trouble with the local ministry of magic and therefore being virtually announced to the ICW didn't really seem like a good idea to me.
The frontmost man yelled something at me again, looking clearly annoyed that I wasn't responding, just staring blankly.
"Sorry, mate. I don't know what you want." I called over, my hearing a little bad after several hours of riding. The man scowled, raising his gun to aim at me. A little surprised at this turn of events, or rather how quickly they had escalated, I put my hands up slowly. The other men, bolstered by their supposed leader's headstrongness, raised their own guns.
The man barked an order again, pointing next to the bike before I finally got what he wanted. He wanted me off the bike. I pulled my key free and pocketed it, getting off my bike and putting my hands back up. Two of them moved over to me, guns still raised. One forced my hands behind my back, placing me in handcuffs while the other kept his gun trained on me. The leader pointed at my Triumph, ordering his other two men to do… Something with it.
I wasn't able to see what as the two detaining me pushed me through the gathered, and cheering, crowd towards, what I assumed to be, their 'squad car'.
The squad car was about 6 meters long, with a light green finish on it. The strangest feature, save the fact it was levitating and was open topped, were the two fuck-off cannons on the thing. One was situated on the front, just before the nose. The other was on the side, smaller than its partner, but no less dangerous looking.
Where the hell was I if the police were packing that much heat?!
One of the officers pointed into the back seat while glaring at me. I guessed what he wanted me to do and struggled into the seat, given that my hands were still bound behind my back.
The two officers were awkwardly watching me struggle in as a crowd observed on, clearly unsure if they should help or not.
After five minutes or so, one of the guards climbed in and and helped me via pulling.
Once I was situated and buckled in, the other man dropped into the driver's seat. He turned the speeder on, racing away through an opening the crowd had made.
Neither spoke, which I was thankful for as I wouldn't understand them as it were anyways.
After a few minutes, we arrived in front of a large compound with a large sign placed on the front. The same guard that helped me in helped me down, forced to catch me when I slipped on the side.
The duo walked me in through the front door, and we were greeted by an empty reception room, even the receptionist missing. An amusing thought entered my mind, why are police so clearly unprepared for crime armed to the tooth, expecting war?
One of them walked into the depths of the base, yelling something through cupped hands as the other one and I just stood, awkward and silent, in the reception room.
My hands were still bound behind my back, a little too tightly I might add, while the man held my arm.
Eventually, the other officer returned, followed by a young woman that looked to be no older than twenty. She looked slightly flustered, and upon seeing me, a little fearful. I wondered, briefly, if they knew who I was, as in, my job as a smuggler and criminal.
Yet, if that were the case, the ICW would have already been here, reading me my rights and carting me off to their holding pens in Switzerland while obliviating half the damn city.
The woman struggled at her console for a bit before speaking to the man holding me. The man responded and walked me into the depths of the building.
Once again, we walked in since before reaching a door, seemingly at random, in a hallway. He opened it and walked me in. The room was small, with only a table situated in the middle and three chairs, two on one side and another opposite them.
A questioning room? Oh boy, this will be fun.
He walked me to the table, pointing at the chair on its own. With a raised eyebrow, I took the seat and he undid the cuffs. As I massaged my wrists, he left the way he came.
So, what, they didn't check me, arrested me for no discernable reason, and now were going to leave me in a seemingly empty room on attended and unwatched…
I looked around and deducted there was probably a one-way window somewhere here, disguised as a wall.
I sat in the seat for a few minutes, whistling idly and looking around the room whilst tapping my thumbs on the table.
Eventually, the door opened, revealing an older gentleman. He was in a yellow uniform, lacking the leather vest this time. He walked in, eyeing me warily. Waddling close behind him was another robot much like the one I encountered at that woman's home, though this one was green and much older looking, if its worn paint was any sign.
The man sat down while the robot stood at his side, apparently unable to do the same.
The man spoke in his strange language and the robot repeated it. When I didn't respond, it tried again in another language, then dozens more. After a few moments, it started making noises impossible for a human's throat to make, things like chirps and growls, or deafening roars.
"Look, can you speak English?' I asked, hoping for the best but expecting nothing to come of it.
"Eng-lish?" The robot said, matching the pronounciation near perfectly, much to my surprise.
"Harry." I said, indicating to myself, hope beginning to blossom.
"Em-Ar-To-To." The robot said, indicating to itself to the best of its abilities, what with its jointless arms.
"Marlese." It said, indicating to the man sitting across from me. The 'Marlese' was scowling at me, clearly displeased that I couldn't speak the local language, as if that was somehow my own fault.
"Look, this was just some huge misunderstanding."
"Harry." The droid repeated, staring at me with its glowing eyes. I sighed, knowing it was a bad idea to hope.
"What do I have to do, speak the noble tongue to you?!" I snapped sarcastically, sitting back and crossing my arms. The man looked stunned, if his quirked eyebrow was any sign.
"Oh my! I didn't know it was possible for a Human to mimic the language of the Anacondan. Your vocal cords are not suited for the language, yet you can!" The robot said, sounding excited as it hissed quickly at me. I gaped for a second before putting my head in my hands.
"Of course you speak it… Well, when life gives you lemons…"
"Why would life give you lemons?" The robot queried, but I waved the question away.
"A figure of speech from my home. Anyways, I can assure you this is a huge misunderstanding. I… Wait, what was I detained for?" I asked, suddenly realizing that I had been arrested.
"Oh! You were arrested for breaking Nubian Environmental protection act three, section four, sub section forty-five, line seven!" The robot chirped happily, though I just stared at it. I had no idea what 'Nubian' meant, but 'Environmental' followed by protection act certainly didn't sound promising.
"Which means…?"
"Oh my… Nubian Environmental protection act three, section four, sub section forty-five, line seven states that any use of petrol or gasoline based transports are banned from use on Naboo or within Naboo space." The robot explained. I didn't understand half the words it used, so using deductive reasoning, I figured it out.
I assumed that 'Environmental' meant environment in some form in English, given the 'protection act' part. Certain vehicles banned, none of the vehicles I had seen thus far had any form of exhaust pipe, at least that I could see. My motorcycle was, by far, louder than them, though that was usually a given with a Triumph.
"Wait… Are your transports… Lightning powered?"
"Most, yes." I snorted, and I thought environmentalists in Britain were bad!
"Okay… So what happens now?" I asked, cokcing my head. I had no means to pay for fines, and no interest in jail time. If push came to shove, than I could take them both down and escape.
"You won't incarcerated, if that if what you fear. You will be fined 250 credit chips, and your… transport will be confiscated." I froze at that, they were taking my Triumph?!
"What?! But… I didn't even know about the law here! Hell, I don't know where here even is!"
"You are on Naboo. The capital of Theed, to be exact. As such, it is very hard to believe you are unaware of where you are, and therefore unaware of the local law."
"But, it's true! I was… Working one day, and I fell asleep and woke up here! Look, what country am I in?"
"Country?" The robot asked, trying to cock its head, which lead to its entire body following.
"You know? United States, Great Britain, Germany?" I said, quickly realizing those names had no translation into Parseltongue.
"Naboo is not a country, Mister Harry, it is a planet located in the Chommel sector." The robot explained. My heart felt as if it had froze, I wasn't even on Earth?
No… That…
A thought came to my mind, a dark thought, one I tried to fend off, but only developed it more…
What if… What if, humanity had evolved to a point in which they had mastered space travel, and colonized the galaxy at large before something… Happened to it? Yet, my wand did show that Earth existed somewhere, at least, a planet called Earth. That was as good a place to start as any…
"Very well." I said simply, planning out my next course of action.
"Good! You will be required to pay the fine within the next two weeks, in that time you are barred from leaving Naboo. Should you be unable to pay within the allocated time, we will be forced to arrest you and determine how your fine will be paid. The guard outside will escort you out." The robot said, and after a moment, I realized that was a dismissal. As I rose, the older man spoke, the robot translating quickly.
"Also, it is advisable that you learn Galactic Basic, as it is the primary language spoken on Naboo."
"Yeah, I'll… Get on that." I walked up to the door, looking at the control panel for a moment. Finally, I pushed the green button, and to my relief, the door whined open.
Outside, a guard awaited me, stomping to attention when the door opened. When I stepped out, he said something, not that I unstood. After a few moments of the two of us staring blankly at one another, I spoke.
"Do YOU speak the noble tongue?" I asked, sounding completely serious, at least to anyone that understood me. The man rolled his eyes and began walking away, signalling for me to follow.
"It was just a question!" I called after him, running to catch up his brisk march.
We went through the building the same way we came, and to my surprise, nearly the entire building was empty.
I looked back down the hallway we were walking through, there was not one behind us, nor any clear signs of a security camera. I looked past my escort and saw the same that way. The plan was quick, sloppy, and could lead to a lot of trouble in the future, but I wasn't about to lose my Triumph, my one partially normal way of transportation.
I closed the distance to my escort. With a flick of my wrist, my wand flicked out into my hand. My free hand flew over the man's mouth as I pushed my wand into his back. Before he could properly realize what was going on, I whispered 'Stupefy' under my breath. A flash of red and his body slumped in my grip. I caught him by lopping my arms under his. I looked around to make sure no one saw before dragging the man to the nearest door.
With my elbow, I managed to mash the buttons enough times to finally get the door open, and to my surprise and relief, it was a janitor's closet. I pushed the larger man in before getting in myself. I looked both ways before closing the door by pushing one of the buttons on the outside.
Now that I was in this dark, cramped space with another man, I reached into my vest pocket and pulled out the moleskin pouch. To the best of my abilities, I opened it and reached in, feeling for my trusty invisibility cloak.
After a few minutes, I realized just how much junk I had accumulated over the years. Finally, I found the cloak, and struggled to pull it out as it had become caught on another dozen things since the last time I had used it.
Eventually, I freed the cloak, and with a few moments of struggle, I was fully underneath it. It was smaller than I remembered, I would be forced to crouch to be completely covered. I cast a muffling charm on my shoes.
To finish up my work here, I stuck my wand between my teeth, mumbling 'lumos'. I forced the man's eyes open.
"Legilimens," I said, diving into the man's memory. I kept what I was after in mind, allowing me to properly sort his memories.
My Triumph was held in the garage of the building, the garage was… Found it.
I let the man go and whispered 'nox', my wand's illumination canceling out. I obliviated my existence from the man's mind and tried to open the door when another problem came to me.
The door was only operable from the outside. I gave a dragged out sigh, headbutting the metal door. I tried to guess how wide the hallway was, three meters, maybe?
I apparated one meter through the door, a crack echoing up and down the hall. I had landed in the middle of the metal hallway.
I didn't have much time to revel in my success, footsteps were coming from all sides, and I had to go.
Crouching down, I walked the way I came, from the questioning room. A trio of armed officers turned the corner, forcing me to press to the nearest of the walls and hold my breath, praying one of them didn't barrel into me.
My Potter luck didn't set in, and I escaped discovery this time. Moving on, I slipped through the corridors and maze of rooms, having only the vaguest idea of where it was I was going.
After many wrong turns and going in circles, I found the garage, and its guards.
There were three men, two at a table, playing some sort of card game, and a third, asleep at a desk with his feet kicked up.
I, briefly, debated just stunning them all, loud, proud, and Gryffindor. However, the two playing cards were facing the vehicles inside, one of which being my Triumph.
Which was lying on its side.
I cringed, they had probably accidentally made the kickstand go up and it fell over, meaning the paint was scratched up.
I snuck into the room, the door had been open so it wasn't that difficult.
I made my way to my Triumph, turning and looking at the guards. I looked around for anything to use as a distraction. On a stand near the ceiling, some sort of television showed…
I froze, it was a news report, which wasn't that strange. It was the reporter that got me, he, she… It, was some sort of alien with an elongated snout of sorts and three tentacles ending in eyes.
I blinked and shook my head, not important, not yet. I pointed my wand at the television, murmuring 'Accio' under my breath, putting as little power into it as I could. The television came free, dropping to the ground with a resounding 'crash'. Both men jumped, cards and… Small metal bars going every which direction. Both moved towards the fallen telly, their third comrade still fast asleep my some miracle.
I didn't waste a moment, I pointed at my Triumph, shrinking it and stuffing in my moleskin pouch. For good measure, I cast quick 'Obliviation' spells on the trio so that they forgot my Triumph even existed.
Feeling like my work was sufficiently finished, I snuck back out, down the many halls, and straight out the front door, scaring the daylights out of the receptionist when the door, seemingly, opened on its own.
I made camp an hour's walk from the front gates of the city. Quickly, I had my tent set up and the proper wards put up, namely Muggle repelling and Notice-Me-Nots.
Inside, it was expanded to be nearly a full house house, witch kitchens, restrooms, and an attic added. A damn expensive model I bought back in '03 in the Russian black market.
I debated just going to sleep, this had been the longest day of my life, after all, if my time travel theory was correct.
However, more pressing concerns came up. I decided I would take inventory before getting some shut eye.
Finding an empty area in the middle of the tend, I turned my moleskin pouch upside-down and opened it.
Immediately, countless knick-knacks and goodies began pouring out, scattering over the floor.
After the first minute, I wondered if I had every cleaned the thing out.
After the fifth, I KNEW I had never cleaned it out.
I let out a long sigh, this was going to take a while.
A/N:
Chapter 1 completed.
Please review what you thought, be that positive or not!