When you wake up in Orochimaru's lair in the body of your least favorite character (in my case anyway), Sasuke Uchiha… Oh! You just know it's going to be a bad day.

However, before I get into all the juicy details, and some of these details will make your head spin, let me introduce myself. My name is Allison, Ali for short. I used to live in Los Angeles, CA working part time at a local family owned retail store and full time as a student at Clark Magnet High School (Go Panthers!). I come from a family of five, and I am currently single, not that it matters.

The biggest thing about me is that I'm a huge fan of Japanese anime and manga. My current favorite is Naruto, but it changes every now and again. I guess it depends on my mood and where any one of my favorites are in their story lines. Anyway, I was really into Naruto around this time. I wasn't one of those fans who go out and try to live it, but I did read the weekly chapters, watched the anime every once in awhile and maybe read a fanfic or two for the fun of it. I enjoyed it, and so did most of my friends.

So that's pretty all you really need to know about me. I'm fairly normal (I think), and I try to do the right thing every once in awhile. I'm not really sure if God (or whatever it is you believe in: fate, multiple gods, the Force, etc.) was trying to punk me or if I had done something really horrible to deserve this.

To the guy I cut off last week on the freeway, I am really, really sorry.

Anyway, it was supposed to be a normal Tuesday morning. I get up a little early on Tuesday's to go pick up my friend from her morning bible study at her church. She calls it "seminary." I call it "cemetery" because I'm sure everyone there save for her is dead asleep. I have to pick her up cause her dad has to go to work a little earlier on Tuesdays. So, I was already supposed to wake up fairly early.

...but not at fucking three in the morning!

Now, I'm a pretty heavy sleeper, and you kind of have to be when you live in California, the Golden State of the Earthquakes. We get tremors I would say about every six months or so. Little ones, nothing big enough to cause a real ruckus. Anyway, so whoever it was trying to wake me up had tried shaking me first.

Like that was going to work!

"Come on mom… five more minutes!" I moaned only half aware that someone was trying to get me up. The response I got was not what I was expecting, especially from my mother, if the pain in my cheek was any indication. My mom would never hit me, no matter how much she wanted to.

"Ow—!" My mouth was covered before I could start screaming a long list obscenities at the top of my lungs at the person who had just slapped me awake.

She looked awfully familiar.

My eyes widened to the size of dinner plates as I stared straight at a what I initially thought was a reflection of myself looking slightly peeved. Of course, if that really was my reflection, it would have looked just as surprised as me and not covering my mouth with its hand.

At that moment, I realized my voice had been significantly lower than it usually is when I had shouted.

"Don't scream," my dopplegänger said to me. "You'll wake up the wrong people."

I stared at myself as she slowly removed her hand from my mouth, my jaw hanging open in disbelief. "Who are you?" I asked, my voice nice masculine tenor. So not my voice!

"I should be asking you the same question," she replied, with my voice I might add. "That's my body you're in."

"Your body?" I asked indignantly, even though I was beginning to question if she was right since my voice was not my own. "Are you loony toons? How can I be in your body? And even if I am, then what are you doing in my body?!"

"Fine then," she conceded agitatedly. "There's a bathroom right over there. Go see for yourself, and don't scream, or I'll have to knock you out."

I rolled my eyes as I got out of bed and stepped over to the bathroom. Not before taking a good look around, first, of course. It was incredibly clean, that much I could tell, so I knew we weren't in my room. I would have stepped on my shoes or clothes by now. It was too dark to see much anything else so I had to feel for the door knob.

I found it and stepped into the bathroom before turning on the light to look in the mirror.

Well, she… er… he… didn't have to worry about me screaming. I passed out before I could do that.

I woke up to the person in my body trying to nudge me back into consciousness. It was kind of awkward waking up to seeing myself clearly agitated and trying to help me wake up. I finally pushed her (or rather, "him" since I had a good idea of just who was in my body) away and stood back up to get a second glance in the bathroom mirror.

Black eyes and hair with facial features that were slightly effeminate, but that only made him look that much more handsome. His body was something to admire, no doubt about that, but I didn't really consider it because I was to concerned with the implication behind the fact that Sasuke Uchiha was staring right back at me from behind the glass of a mirror!

Sasuke…

I began to giggle uncontrollably as I stared at the reflection. It sounded absolutely maniacal which only made me laugh harder. It was perfect really, because I knew how much of a psycho he would turn into later. I put my hand over my mouth to keep myself from getting too loud (or is it his hand over his mouth?) as I dropped to the floor again.

"What's so funny?" I heard my original voice ask me. I could barely breathe anymore I was laughing so hard.

"This is…" I gasped, trying to get a hold of myself, "just like… pff… hahaha… heheheh… like a really bad… fanfic…"

"What are you talking about?"

"My name…" I said, ignoring that question and answering the question he (she?) had been wondering earlier, "is Allison Crenshaw!"

I tried to keep my laughter to a minimum. This was hysterical. Sure, going to the bathroom and showering were going to be a problem, but I'm the kind of person who lives in the here and now. So none of that really didn't occur to me. I thought of all the fun things I could do while I was Sasuke Uchiha. Hit on Sakura, kiss Naruto (that one would be for all the yaoi fangirls back in my world), maybe pretend to be a playboy. If only I had seen Road to Ninja before all this.

Obviously, he didn't feel the same way about this as I did. "We need to find a way to switch back."

"No shit, sherlock!" I hissed, fury overcoming my initial reaction. Now that I knew he was a real character (and that tidbit of information still had yet to process through my brain completely), my hatred for him grew three times. "How long did it take for you to figure that one out?"

He glared at me, but since it was coming from my face, it didn't come off as well as he probably would have liked. "You can glare at me all you like, Mr. Sasuke Uchiha," I said. "You are not affecting me any."

He sighed. I probably looked like an insane person at this point. Good! "How do you know who I am?" he asked.

"That's not important," I replied. "I gave you my name, and that's all you need to know, really. You could act however you want and everyone will think that's how I am." I grimaced. "If you could be so kind as to not portray me as a self absorbed brat utterly obsessed with revenge and hatred, though, I'd appreciate it. I, on the other hand, have to act exactly like that! Do you know how horrible that is? To be you?"

Again, he glared at me for the insult. He does that a lot. "Seems to me you think you know a lot about me," he growled. Although from my voice, it sounded more like a purr.

"Oh yeah, I know you!" I said almost indignant that he would think otherwise. "Sasuke Uchiha: Birthday, July 23; Parents, Fugaku and Mikoto Uchiha (deceased); Siblings, one brother, Itachi Uchiha; Shinobi Team, 7 (also known as Team Kakashi) with Jounin leader Kakashi Hatake, Naruto Uzumaki, and Sakura Haruno; blood type, AB; Current shinobi status, rogue; Village assosiation, Konohagakure. I could go on if you'd like me to."

He looked at me with wide disbelieving eyes. My eyes, I noted with some irritation. This would be my only and last time to show off how much I know about him. Of course, I wasn't sure if that was necessarily a bragging point, but still.

"How do you know so much about me?" he asked.

"Let's just say that you're pretty popular where I'm from," I said, trying to dismiss it. "Any ideas on how to switch ourselves back?"

"You're from Konoha?" he asked skeptically. I guess I could understand why he thought that. It was the only place that you could get any of that information. Of course, you had to be a ninja to get some of that.

Could someone tell me how to explain to a fictional character how is just that, a fictional character?

I let out an exasperated sigh. "No, I'm not from Konoha, and honestly, I could tell you where I'm from, but you've never heard of it, and you'd never believe me. So could we move past that now?"

"Fine," he replied. "No, I don't know anyone who might be able to switch us back."

"What about the Yamanaka family?" I asked. "They specialize in this kind of thing right?"

"I'm not going back to Konoha," he said determinedly.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah," I said dismissively. "I know, you wanna keep your status as a rogue ninja because you're a brat who has absolutely no common sense. I get it. Look, you want to get revenge on Itachi, right?" I prayed that the gods who were punking me right now that I had at least that right.

"Yes," he answered. His eyes, my eyes, lighting up with hatred. It was infuriating to see that on my face, so I did what came naturally. I hit him.

Wow, I just put a whole new meaning in the "why are you hitting yourself?" joke.

"Don't you look like that while thinking about revenge!" I snapped. "You make me look like a crazed lunatic! Any who, revenge on Itachi. If you really want it, you gotta be willing to make some sacrifices, which means you have to go back to Konoha. Trust me when I tell you this. You will never ever get your revenge on Itachi while you are in my body. You could train for the next fifty years. I don't care. It's not happening. So, either we go to Konoha and try, or go somewhere else and see if we can at least adjust to our new bodies before we go looking for someone to help us."

"Easier said then done," muttered Sasuke. "This is just one of Orochimaru's lairs, and he's not about to let 'me' go out on my own, especially if you don't have his permission. Even if you get it, chances are he or Kabuto will try to accompany you, me, us..."

Oh man! Even he's getting confused!

Orochimaru's lair? So that guy was still around and without his arms no doubt. I decided to probe a little to see how far along in the story we were. It was odd to think that I was quite literally in the middle of a freaking story. Sasuke was one of the main characters (who was supposed to be, you know, not real) after all. "Have you seen Naruto and Sakura since you left Konoha?" I asked.

"Yes," he replied. "It was just a few days ago actually."

"All right then," I said. "Obviously we can't tell Orochimaru about this. He'll take this as his opportunity to take your body, and I'm sure you don't want to stay a girl for the rest of your miserable life. Especially a girl who is not an Uchiha. So, do you have anyone in mind who might be able to help us?"

He was silent for a moment. It occurred to me how weird it sounded to call him a "he" when "he" was in my body, a girl's body. "We're not going to Konoha." He finally said.

"I'm not staying in Orochimaru's lair in your body," I replied angrily. "The guy creeps me out on so many levels it's not funny. Konoha's the only safe place I can think of for both of us, so that's where I'm going."

"Do you even know how to get out of here?"

"No, but that's beside the point," I said, waving it away. "I could probably find my way out if I tried. If I run into anyone, I'll just pretend I really am you and that I'm just going to get some fresh air. How hard could it be to play a stoic jackass?"

"Do you know how to use chakra?" he asked ignoring my jab at his lackluster personality.

I hesitated. "Uh, well, um, no, but that's in part because…" I clenched my teeth and fists, not wanting to say it.

"Because what?"

"Because…" I said dragging out the word before heaving a sigh. "Because where I'm from, the existence of chakra is debatable at best, let alone if it can be used." I finally stated irritably.

"Where are you from?" he asked. "I've never heard of a place like that."

"It's another dimension entirely, so how are we going to get out of here?"

"You're from another dimension?" he asked incredulously.

"Well, yeah," I said matter-of-factly. "I mean look at the pajamas you're wearing! Are those common place among females of this world?"

He looked at my green pajama bottoms with four leaf clovers and my dark green "kiss me, I'm Irish" t-shirt. "I wouldn't know," he said when he looked back up at me. "I'm not usually a female. Besides, what is Irish?"

"Nevermind," I said. "We've got to get out of here. I'm not about to face Orochimaru just because you don't want to go back to Konoha."

He closed his eyes for a moment. Probably trying to find fault with my idea, but he wouldn't find it. I had no idea how to use chakra. While his body was physically fit and all, I didn't know how to fight to begin with so the point was moot. Plus, neither of us were entirely familiar with our new bodies.

"Fine," he admitted reluctantly. "We'll go to Konoha. Only because I need my body back."

"Sounds good to me," I replied. I looked down at myself (Sasuke's body) and realized that I was only wearing boxers and some bandages where Sasuke had seals written. "Let me get dressed and…" The outfit he would have me wear crossed my mind. "Oh hell no!"

"What?"

"I'm not wearing those gay ass clothes you have," I said. "I'm a girl and I refuse to wear anything like that! Give me Naruto's orange jumpsuit first."

He rolled his eyes at me. "That's too bad because that's all I have. Now, unless you want to go out into the middle of the snowstorm and freeze to death, you'll put on my clothes. I'll have to put on something similar."

"Crap."

"What now?" he asked in exasperation.

"I don't think I was wearing a bra before all this."

"No, you weren't."

"Do you have any bandages or something?" I asked. "Maybe we could bind them up."

He looked thoughtful for a moment. "I might have something," he said after a moment. "Let me look. Closet is over there."

I nodded and stepped over to said closet before opening it. He actually had different clothes than what I had seen him wear during the Retrieval arc of the manga. Probably because it was snowing where we were. It was still fashioned after Orochimaru's strange design with a big purple rope belt with a giant bow in the back

As I got dressed, I took a moment to sort of admire the muscle tone of his arms and legs. As much as disliked him as a person (fictional character!), I had to admit he was good looking. It made me sick to admit it, but I wasn't about lying to myself. Not about this anyway.

I was surprised at how easy everything was to put on. I even found Sasuke's sword and put it in place and everything. Once everything was set, Sasuke (in my body) came back out of the bathroom with a roll of bandages to use for breast bindings.

"I don't feel like scarring myself for rest of my life so I'll let you fix it up," he said handing it to me and closing his eyes.

I ignored the insult. It was only fair since I called him a jackass earlier. I helped him take off my shirt, and I began to wrap the bindings on the top half of my body. It was kind of weird to be dressing myself while I wasn't even in my own body. I noticed my skin (not his body's skin, my skin, confused yet?) was getting goose bumps everywhere I touched.

"Are my… er, your hands cold?" I asked.

"No," he said with a frown.

"Then why are you getting goosebumps?"

"How should I know?! This isn't my body!" he snapped.

"All right, sheesh," I replied in annoyance. "This is kind of awkward, isn't it?"

After I finished, he speedily got dressed in some of his other clothes that were slightly different from the ones I was wearing. Only because someone would find it odd that we were wearing the same clothes.

"What are the chances we run into someone on our way out?" I asked.

"Slim," he said.

"Well, I think we should come up with an excuse just in case."

"I thought the excuse was you're going to get some fresh air."

"Yeah, well, that doesn't explain why you're with me… why I'm with you… Ah! This is so confusing!"

"Try not to think about it too much," he said as he handed me a black cloak while putting his own on. He gestured for me to be quiet as he opened the bedroom door. He looked to see if anyone was coming, and then motioned for me to follow.

Yep, it was going to be a very bad day.

Okay, so I've had this story twirling around in my head forever, and I finally decided to type it up and upload it. This is more humor based than it is romantic, so the romantic bits will be small and mostly played for laughs.

This is rated T, but let me know if you think I should up the rating.

Reviews (even flames) are love!