3 I like writing crack fics. I also think my muse is an insomniac, becaue I always write these late...like 1:30am. heh.
Anyway, it gets really weird down at the bottom, but please tell me what you think.
Disclaimer : I don't own Naruto, or Kyuubi, but I wish I owned Shino's sexy jacket.
In a dinky apartment in the heart of Konoha, a blond haired boy mused over what to do for lunch. If it were a usual day, he would already be over at his favorite ramen place…but it was not usual in the least. For one, he had run out of ramen coupons, and eaten the last of his stored ramen for breakfast. The only other thing that could make this day worse was, well, Kyuubi.
Kyuubi who had decided to try and possess him today: several times he had had to stop his training and rest the searing headache that damn fox was giving him. Normally he would train through the headaches (dattebayo), but Iruka had the day off from the academy and was training with him.
By the time Naruto had taken his third break that day, groaning and holding his head, Iruka had accurately guessed the problem, though neither of them said anything. Naruto had tried to wave off his concerns with a grin, but the scar nosed man sent the boy home for the day.
"You baka fox!" He pouted, rummaging through his cabinets for maybe (just maybe) a missed ramen packet.
Don't blame me you ate all the ramen. The fox replied calmly.
"I mean about the possessing and all!" Naruto whined.
Hey, dobe kit, I just thought, hey, since it worked so well for Shukaku, why not try it out?
"WHAT!" Naruto cried, "What the hell are you talking about! I defeated Shukaku, 'tebayo!"
Yeah, yeah, so I've heard…
"Its truuuuuue!"
mm-hmmm, but did you fail to notice, baka, that the Ichibi managed to get nearly twenty minutes of freedom?
"That was the whole problem!" The whisker-cheeked boy wondered why he was even having this conversation. He had learned long ago that it was generally not a good idea to be friends with demons.
You're missing the point, brat. I want twenty minutes of freedom too! Just let me possess you for a little while!
"Nooooo!" Naruto grabbed the necklace Tsunade had given him. "I'll never let you out! I'll protect my loved ones from you forever!" His beautiful blue eyes narrowed stubbornly.
God boy, it's like you don't trust me at all. Kyuubi snorted, examining one of his enormous claws inside his cage. Naruto drew a breath to speak, but the fox immediately said, don't answer that.
Okay, boy, how about we make a little deal… He purred.
"No way!"
You let me out for half an hour…
"I said NO!"
And I promise not to harm the village or the villages….
"NO—wait, what?"
Kyuubi snorted in disdain. Stupid kit needed to pay better attention.
I said-
"I heard what you said!" Naruto growled, "Do you think I'm stupid or something?" He heard Kyuubi softly chuckle, and immediately added, "Don't answer that."
Listen, if you do this then I won't bother you for a long time, and if no ones going to get hurt, then its win win for you!
Naruto closed his eyes, apparently thinking it over.
"I don't know…"
Come on, what harm could I do? I promised not to hurt anyone or anything!
""Fine." Naruto murmured, though still unsure.
Sasuke wasn't just taking a walk; he was taking an emo walk. He had decided long ago that he was too depressed by his whole clan being murdered to do normal things like walking, so he made sure that anyone who passed him by knew he was being emo, not walking, emo.
A faint smile flickered on his face as he saw Naruto come out of his apartment… though they often fought, they were best friends and-
"Hey, Sauce-gay, baby, whatcha doing?" Naruto called, breaking his train of thoughts. Breaking his train of thoughts with Sauce-gay, baby.
"What. Did. You. Just. Say." Sasuke hissed lowly, an evil glint in his eye. He couldn't help but notice something was weird about his teammate…could it be the fact his eyes were bright red, or the fact his teeth were extra long and sharp? No…something else…
"Oi, Sasu sweety, don't get all hurt!" Naruto laughed, swinging an arm around Sasuke's shoulder.
Emo boy's eye twitched.
"What. The. Fuck. Are. You. Doing." Sasuke gasped, shoving Naruto off of him.
"Why. Are. You Talking. Like. That." Naruto said, pouting.
Before the shocked Uchiha could respond, Naruto was running off down the street, towards a certain bug freak.
He turned quickly and began to run in the other direction, but not before hearing,
"Heey, Shino, I bet you're sexy under that jacket…."
Half an hour later, Naruto sat humiliated in his room, aware that Kyuubi had just flirted with every male in Konoha. Even Kakashi-sensei.
"You didn't tell me you were going to do that!" Naruto cried, his face red.
You didn't ask. Kyuubi replied simply, before bursting out laughing.
Naruto only grumbled as he dug into some strawberries Kyuubi had bought along the way.