In the Shadows
He heard what sounded like voices but could not make out the words. Everything seemed so far away. He seemed to be there and not to be there, wherever there was, at the same time. So, he waited, he listened, and he tried to orient himself. However, everything seemed to drift off again and then he knew no more. This seemed to happen again and again but he did not know how many times. He just seemed to drift but something in the sway, the hum, or the general feel of his surroundings made him feel safe, safe enough to let go and drift.
The voices seemed to return but this time they seemed very loud and he felt hot. The heat seemed to be all around him and to radiate through him. He was more aware of his body this time and all he could feel was pain and heat. His head ached, pain radiated through his shoulder, and his back throbbed. He tried to understand the voices and to open his eyes to find out where he was but he did not have the energy. He felt as if someone were pushing him underwater - he could not breathe and he could not move.
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"Doc, how is he? Has he come to yet?" Chip's concern could be easily read on his face which normally wore a mask of impassivity. His eyes meet the doctor's eyes and then moved to the bunk at the far corner of the sickbay where his friend and captain lay unconscious. Seeing the Admiral sitting by the bunk, he looked back at the doctor. "How long has the Admiral been there?"
"Actually, he never left."
"What? But Lee's been here for three days."
"I tried to get him to leave but he refused. Lee has been restless on and off and the presence of the Admiral seems to quiet him. The Admiral speaks to him every time he seems to begin to regain consciousness but then Lee drifts off again. Unfortunately, the infection in the shoulder wound has worsened and his fever has spiked. Unless I can get this infection under control …" The doctor's voice trailed off, the implications clear to both of them.
"Let me see if I can get the Admiral to leave for a while to rest while I sit with Lee."
"Shouldn't you be resting? You have been overseeing the repairs and I know that your watch just ended. You must be tired."
"Tired, yes, but I am too wired and too worried to sleep." He paused rubbing his eyes. "Don't even start." He said as he held up is hand and shook his head in an effort to stop the look of concern and the protests that he knew would follow. "I need to be here. The Admiral needs some rest and I can take over the watch and sit with Lee. You said yourself that Lee is less restless with the Admiral sitting by him. Lee always seems to know when one of us is with him." He paused, smiled slightly, and then continued, "You know how much he hates being in sickbay, and even you would rather be yelling at him for his trying to sneak out of here than have him unconscious and feverish."
The older man looked at him, removed the stethoscope from around his neck and motioned Chip to follow him as he began to walk slowly toward his patient in the far bunk. "Fine, you win, for now." He seemed to put some emphasis on the end of the statement. "You can take over for the Admiral after I do my vitals check and put a new dressing on the shoulder wound. While I am busy, why don't you convince the Admiral to go rest in his cabin? Then you can come back and sit with Lee."
"Thanks, Doc," he whispered as they stopped by the Admiral's chair. "Sir?" Getting no response, he tried again. "Admiral Nelson?" He paused as the Admiral turned his head toward Chip and the doctor, taking his eyes off Lee to look at them.
"Admiral, I need to attend my patient and you need some rest". Knowing the protest that was to come next, he continued, "You have been here since Lee was brought in and before that on the dock when he was injured. You need some rest and I need to tend to Lee. Chip will escort you to your cabin and then return to stay with Lee."
"If I had not been out there on the dock, this never would have happened. I should have left the loading of the equipment to the Chief but I was just so anxious to get started." He trailed off, looking again at the injured man lying on the bunk. "He saved me, pushed me out of the way, made sure that I was safe. Look at what it has cost him." He paused and then continued, "He is worse now. His fever is higher, he is having more trouble breathing again, and …" His voice caught in his throat and he stopped.
Hearing this, the doctor's concern for his patient intensified. He needed to get the Admiral out of there so that he could get to work. Chip seemed to sense the doctor's increased concern for his patient.
"Admiral, this was not your fault. The equipment shifted in the crate - it was not even packed correctly. If anyone is to blame, it would be the company that packed it and sent it."
"That is all well and good but I was out there, and if I had not been there then Lee would not have had to put himself in harm's way - this never would have happened." The pain and guilt that he felt at the injury to his friend could be read in his expression and was mirrored in his deep blue eyes.
"Come on, Admiral, let the doctor do his work. You need some rest and I want to spend some time sitting with Lee. He would not want you to feel guilty. You know that he would rather it be him than you. While neither of us may like it, that is just the way he is." Chip paused, putting his hand on the other man's shoulder, his eyes pleading with him. "Lee would not want you to make yourself sick and Doc needs some space."
For a moment, he thought that the Admiral was going to yell at him or push him away but the fire that had momentarily lit the older man's eyes left, he looked again at the dark-haired younger man lying on bunk, and slowly rose from the chair. He paused, putting his hand on the uninjured shoulder and then brushed several damp curls off the feverish man's forehead, and whispered, "I'll be back, son. You will not be alone." Turning to meet the doctor's eyes, he paused momentarily, "Will, take care of him." Turning to Chip, he seemed to deflate momentarily, "Come on, Mr. Morton, you may complete your assignment for the good doctor before you return."
"Chip, would you tell Frank to join me? Ask him to bring in the cart I have prepared in the back."
Chip paused, not wanting to leave, and then nodded to the doctor. The Admiral continued out the sickbay door as Chip walked into the back office to convey the request to the physician's assistant and then he too left the sickbay.
With the Admiral and Chip leaving the sickbay, the doctor checked Lee's pulse rate. As he put on his stethoscope, he noted the paleness of Lee's skin. Listening to the breath sounds, the look of concern on his face intensified as he noted a slight bluishness to his skin. Tapping lightly on Crane's chest as he listened to the chest sounds, the doctor shouted, "Frank, his lung has collapsed again!" Frank rapidly wheeled the cart toward the doctor, ready to assist him as the doctor tried to help the injured man.
"Doc, do you want 100 percent oxygen?"
"No, I cannot take a chance. Although that worked last time, he is weak from injury and the fever. I'm going to put in a chest tube."
"Doc, are we going to move him to surgery?"
"No, we cannot delay. Moving him and then prepping him for surgery will take too long - we cannot take the chance. We will just have to insert the chest tube here and hope that performing the procedure will not complicate his condition further."
The look on the doctor's face told him that this was serious and that the man on the bunk was in great distress. Frank began to remove the various items that the doctor would need from the cart. Dr. Jamieson had anticipated the possibility that the lung might collapse again due to the trauma of the Captain's injuries and he had made sure that they would be prepared. The Skipper was going to hate this when he came to - the Skipper hated chest tubes almost as much as he hated catheters and the ventilator. Working as one, each sent a silent prayer toward Heaven for the skill to help as well as for the recovery of their friend and Captain.
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After having escorted the Admiral to his cabin, Chip walked through the control room to check on the status of the boat before returning to sickbay, knowing that the doctor would need the time. He would take good care of Seaview and return her safely to her Captain once he was able to assume command again. The men on duty were mindful of their stations but he knew that each was concerned for their Captain. He made sure that his mask of efficiency was in place upon his face in an effort to convey confidence that all would be right about the boat once again.