I'm Still Sick
A series of emails Cuddy sends House after his shooting incident.
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To: Dr. Gregory House
Subject: How are you?
House, How are you feeling lately? Is the ketamine treatment working?
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To: Dr. Gregory House
Subject: Hello?
House! It has been one week since I sent that email! Are you dead?
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To: Dr. Lisa Cuddy
Subject: (no subject)
Stop calling me.
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To: Dr. Gregory House
RE: (no subject)
You won't pick up the phone. And you are on sick leave, which means that you don't come to the hospital and which also means I can't see how you are doing.
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To: Dr. Lisa Cuddy
RE: (no subject)
You could always come to see me, wearing those divinely low-cut blouses of yours.
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To: Dr. Gregory House
Subject: Very funny.
Thanks. But, I do have to work here. And you still haven't told me how you are.
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To: Dr. Lisa Cuddy
RE: Very funny.
You really care about me, don't you. Work? Oh you mean the thing I'm supposed to be doing. Nah, that's not important. You could always come see me.
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To: Dr. Gregory House
Subject: House!
House! People are dying here. And I am merely concerned with the well-being of someone quite valuable to the interests of this hospital.
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To: Dr. Lisa Cuddy
Subject: (no subject)
Now I know why you're always jogging.
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To: Dr. Gregory House
RE: (no subject)
Was that even supposed to be remotely related to the previous email?
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To: Dr. Gregory House
RE: (no subject)
Wait. You were jogging?
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To: Dr. Lisa Cuddy
RE: (no subject)
House: No, I was running very slowly.
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To: Dr. Gregory House
Subject: I am going to kill you.
Cuddy: You didn't tell me you were better!!
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To: Dr. Lisa Cuddy
RE: I am going to kill you.
House: Uh oh, two exclamation marks mean you're cyber-shouting.
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To: Dr. Gregory House
Subject: Work
Cuddy: Get your ass back to work here!
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To: Dr. Lisa Cuddy
RE: Work
House: I have got certified medical leave. For eight months. Unless someone invented a time machine, I've still got about two more months.
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To: Dr. Gregory House
Subject: I don't care!
Cuddy: Eight months to recover from your bullet wounds! Which you are obviously better from if you can go jogging! I'm going over to your house.
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To: Dr. Gregory House
Subject: (no subject)
Cuddy: House! Unlock your door!
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To: Dr. Lisa Cuddy
RE: (no subject)
House: Just did. There's no one there. Nice pun, by the way.
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To: Dr. Gregory House
RE: (no subject)
Cuddy: You have to come back to work if you are feeling better.
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To: Dr. Lisa Cuddy
RE: (no subject)
House: Why do I get this overwhelming sense that you were just dying to type the above email in capital letters?
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To: Dr. Gregory House
Subject: If not…
Cuddy: I am putting you on unpaid leave if you keep this up.
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To: Dr. Lisa Cuddy
RE: If not…
House: I'm still sick!
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To: Dr. Gregory House
RE: Oh please.
Cuddy: No you are not!
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To: Dr. Lisa Cuddy
RE: Oh please.
House: Yes I am.
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To: Dr. Gregory House
Subject: (no subject)
Cuddy: I will not have this pointless argument with you.
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To: Dr. Gregory House
Subject: (no subject)
Cuddy: I'm not going to take back that threat because you aren't answering your emails, you know.
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To: Dr. Gregory House
Subject: (no subject)
Cuddy: House?
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To: Dr. Lisa Cuddy
Subject: HAH!
House: And you fell f- Oh, crap. Did Wilson give you the keys?
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A/N: Haha! Hope you liked it :D