"Science is a way of talking about the universe in words that bind it to a common reality. Magic is a method of talking to the universe in words that it cannot ignore. The two are rarely compatible." —Neil Gaiman, The Books of Magic
...but it's the rarity that makes it special.
Unexpected
"She said she never saw my future, just my possibilities; that I've excelled not because I crave success, but because I fear failure."
"And you agree that's accurate?"
Stephen chuckled softly. How many times did he ask himself that same question? It didn't make much sense to him for a long time. How can you desire one without fearing the other? "Yes, I've learned that it's not about me. That I can succeed for others, not for myself."
Tony didn't answer. He looked to the night sky from where they stood atop of Stark Tower and thought about all the dying stars. He took a long drink of his scotch before finally admitting, "All of my successes turned out to be failures. Every time I thought I was doing the right thing…" He glanced over at Stephen, but quickly looked away, not ready to start any eye contact. Tony shook his head, "Always turned out I was wrong. And I paid for it every time."
Stephen allowed Tony's words to sink in before saying, "You're making it about you."
"Oh, but it is about me," Tony quipped back, his hand going up to his chest, "And it made me lose more and more each time: my faith in my company, Pepper, the trust of the world after Ultron, Pepper again, Wanda, Vision...I thought I had Natasha on my side for once, but she quickly turned face and marched back to Rogers. I dragged Peter into the damn superhero gig-don't know why, I shoulda just left him to his own little neighborhood and he wouldn't have to worry about…" Tony trailed off.
"Pepper again. Steve. I ever tell you he struck me," Tony tapped the electromagnet over his heart, "Right here. Talk about a heartbreak, right?"
Stephen pursed his lips at the confession. It really put his own life into perspective. He lost the use of his hands and was ready to call it quits. But Tony…
"And I swear every single event from the past ten years plays over and over in my head every single day. Every time I think I can change and I convince Pepper to take me back, and then I get right back into the thick of it, and she leaves. And I don't blame her. I've been trapping her in this circle for far too long."
"You've kept yourself trapped inside your own mind for too long," Stephen corrected him, "You can't blame yourself when it comes to forces outside of your control. It's not about you," he repeated.
"Yeah, yeah, so you said…" Tony lamented, shooting back the rest of his drink. He had to admit that it was often nice to have Stephen's company on quiet nights when no one else could bother to be around. They all had their own lives now, after all. After everyone was released from the Soul stone a few months prior, they all realized that they needed to do better at living and enjoying life. Tony was still trying to play catch up.
Stephen thought about how broken he was when he first got to Kamar-Taj. How desperate and angry and confused he was. And how he's learned so much since.
"Do you trust me?"
Tony smirked at him as he dumped the ice out of his glass, "You playing Aladin now?"
"More like the Genie."
"If you tell me that I ain't never had a friend like you, I'm going to slap both your perfect cheekbones."
Stephen tried to keep a straight face as he asked, "Well...have you ever had a friend like me?"
Tony chose not to answer it, but the look on his face said it all, "So what's your plan? You plan on giving me a lobotomy?"
"Not quite," he answered ominously, though the look in his eyes may have had Tony second guessing. He followed Stephen off the roof and down to his living quarters. Stephen instructed him to lie down on his bed and get comfortable.
"You going to perform voodoo on me?" Tony asked as he got into bed, "Because you do realize that magic isn't going to...well, magically make everything disappear, right?"
"You don't know my magic very well then," Stephen countered. The cloak seemed to understand what was happening and flew off Stephen's shoulders and rested at the bottom of the bed. Stephen climbed on the bed beside Tony and sat with his legs crossed.
"Don't summon an evil spirit through me," Tony warned as he watched him wearily.
"Would you stop with all the witchcraft talk?"
"Okay, so what, you're going to free my mind?" The sarcasm was strong with Tony tonight.
"In time, but jumping right to that will not help you in the long run. We need to get to the root of the problem, so I'm going to penetrate your mind and help you use magic from within," the matter-of-fact blunt tone in his voice made it seem as though he were about to ask Tony what all the blotches looked like.
"Well, don't penetrate too-," before Tony could finish his sentence, Stephen placed a hand on Tony's forehead and it suddenly felt like he was being pushed from his body at a million miles per hour. Flying in his IronMan suit at high speeds was nothing compared to the velocity his mind was going at, and he didn't think he'd ever recover from the whiplash or catch his breath again.
But then he stopped just as quickly and didn't feel the force of the fall whatsoever. All around him was a burning red, hot and searing and painful.
"Strange?" Tony called out, turning in circles but seeing the same torturous color all around him. He was instantly feeling claustrophobic. "Stephen?" Tony stopped spinning and clenched his eyes shut, "I'm never trusting you ag-."
"I'm here, Tony," came Stephen's voice, seemingly inside of him. But when Tony opened his eyes, the sorcerer was standing in front of him.
"Where are we?"
"We're in everything that you are," Stephen said, still sounding like he was inside Tony's head.
"You're gonna have to be a little more specific than that."
"Don't try too hard to understand it right now. I'm here to better understand your mind, and in turn help you better understand it. You're repressing though."
Tony ran both of his hands back through his hair as he looked around at all the red again... burning for endless miles. What the hell was he supposed to do here?
"You need to release everything that's holding you back. Would you like me to take away some of the burden?" Stephen's voice sounded calm and serene; if it was a color, it'd surely be blue and break the chains the fiery world had on Tony.
"I can't ask you to do that," Tony choked, already seeing the red turn into more of a fearsome crimson.
"You don't have to ask," Stephen assured him. Something in his voice told Tony to look at him, and he gasped upon seeing how green his eyes were. Colors were becoming emotions for Tony, and he was gliding toward the calming emerald. Stephen opened his arms for him, and Tony became amazed when a good extra six or seven arms appeared on either side of Stephen, and then enveloped the smaller man in an all consuming embrace.
For a few brief seconds, time stood still and Tony was able to relax and he felt all of his problem slip away. He never thought that he would want to be in someone's arms for the rest of eternity, but a feeling of acceptance that he'd never known before was surfacing in his mind.
"Stephen…" he breathed, the name sounding like a prayer.
"I'm sorry, Tony," was all Stephen said before Tony opened his eyes to see the red was gone and replaced with a blinding white. All at once, chaos ensued around them. Missiles flew at him, deafening sounds of explosions and hopeless people screaming for help. The oxygen was sucked from the air and he was gasping for breath. Ultron and Thanos were around him, hundreds of them, but there was one small escape and Tony saw Steve Rogers, Natasha Romanoff, and Pepper Potts turning and walking away from him. Tony had no voice to scream and more bombs exploded with Peter Parker and Stephen Strange right in the center of all the danger. And he couldn't even save them before his artificial cold heart was ripped from his chest.
Stop...stop…
He moved his mouth to speak but the words were sucked into the nothingness that all of his worst fears left behind. Then the calmness came again. An acceptance that he never once in his whole life felt before. He no longer felt the shame of selling weapons of mass destruction to foreign countries. He no longer felt the sadness of his father never being there. He no longer felt the pain of watching Pepper leave his life for the final time. He no longer grieved for the friendships he lost. He no longer hated himself for all the pain that he caused.
"Oh, Tony…"
Tony heard Stephen's voice in his head again, but saw him beside him. Tears streamed down Stephen's face, and Tony saw all the pain in his eyes that he only ever saw in the mirror.
"No…" Tony shook his head, his mouth trembling at the mere idea of all that torture now being trapped inside Stephen, "No, no...please tell me you didn't…" He grabbed the sides of Stephen's head and brought him down so their foreheads touched, "Why did you do that? Give it back to me now...there's no rest for me if I know you're suffering…"
Stephen sucked in a deep breath as the tears continued to fall, decades worth of negative feelings continuing to hit him all at once, "No one else ever truly took the time to understand you," he said through gritted teeth and strained tones, "I can't take your burdens, Tony...I'm only sharing them."
Tony shook his head, causing Stephen to do so as well, "You need to stop sacrificing yourself for me."
Stephen placed his hands over Tony's who was still holding them together, "It was never a sacrifice."
Looking deep into the glowing green of Stephen's eyes, Tony came to the realization that Stephen was his soulmate. Whether he always was, or it just came to be in light of recent events, he wasn't sure. All he knew was that he never believed in such spirituality before, but he never felt this kind of connection before, either. Stephen not only saw the parts of him that he hardly showed himself, but he felt those parts...he carried and held those parts.
And then in a sudden woosh, Tony was propelled back again as though his soul was flying back to his physical body. He opened his eyes and he was lying on his bed in his room once more. Now that he was back in the normal realm, he was having a hard time comprehending everything that just happened. He looked over to see Stephen lying beside him, looking dazed and shocked up to the ceiling.
Tony studied him for a long moment before clearing his throat and saying, "So...you were just inside of me, huh?"
To his pure delight, Stephen instantly broke into a smile and then a laugh. He covered his eyes with his hand and shook his head, and even though a few tears still slid down the side of his face, he was still chuckling at Tony's joke.
"Where uh...where do we go from here?" Tony asked.
Stephen sucked in a wavering breath before finding the courage to look over at the man that held more pain than he could have ever imagined, "Wherever we need to."
Tony only smirked, though he wanted to do so much more. Stephen's eyes reflected the same and Tony wondered if his magic forged a connection that could never be broken. Rather it was true or not, Tony liked the sound of it.
He was a man of science after all. But science brought him a lot of grief over the years as it isolated him and made him obsessed.
But magic...magic gave him Stephen.