I haven't written anything for a while, and I'm still working on my latest comedy, "A Christmas In Siberia", so I'm writing this short story to kill time. (I finally finished my homework! Yeah!) Also, MY FICS ARE NOW IN HTML!!!! Anyway, as always, this was not meant to offend Poles, Vietnam Veterans, Mexican, Jews, Hindus, blondes, the crippled, and so on...
A Farewell to Ron's Arm By HarryPot
"This is getting extreme" announced Lee Jordan over his megaphone. "Harry is chasing the snitch, while all of Slytherin is up Harry's ass..."
"JORDAN!!!" yelled McGonagall.
"Sorry, Harry's rectal area..."
"Give me that! OK, Harry is chasing the snitch, and... he lost control! Oh no, he is going into the stands, and..."
*******
"Oh Hermione, you know how sexy you look when you are wearing Lycra, Ohhh..."
"Ron, look out!" yelled Hermione, pushing Ron out of the way, into Harry's broomstick.
People were running out of the way, nearly causing a stampede. Harry crashed into Ron at full force. He didn't see it coming. Harry fell off the broomstick, collapsing into Snape's cold arms.
"Oh Harry, I always thought you looked sexy in Lycra..."
"GET YOU FORMER DEATH EATER HANDS AWAY FROM ME!!!" yelled Harry, trying to slam Snape of him.
"Look! Weasleys hurt!" yelled Draco. "Well, It's not like I would care, but c'mon, the pricks hurt."
Madam Pomfrey ran to Ron. "Oh dear, are you ok?"
"No! I can't feel my arm! Look! Harry's Broomstick is stuck in my arm!"
*******
"Well, It looks like we will amputate it" said Pomfrey.
"WHAT?"
"We have to cut it off..."
"Will it grow back?"
"Um, yeah it will! Right Hermione?"
"Uh, um, yeah it will!" said Hermione, being poked by Pomfrey.
"This won't hurt a bit..." Pomfrey then took a muggle chainsaw and...
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!"
*******
"I'm sorry we forgot to use anesthesia, It must have slipped my mind" said Pomfrey.
"Madam Pomfrey, you uh, cut of his other arm..."
"Crap..." said Pomfrey and Ron at the same time.
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!"
*******