So The Tournament at Gorlan is coming out on October 6 and I am very excited! Excited enough to dust off the portion of my brain where Ranger's Apprentice crack fics live and write something! This might be a one-shot. It might turn into a whole series of "predictions". I dunno. I don't plan that far ahead.
Introduction, in which, Halt is turning into a senile old man and Will has to visit him every day. Poor Will.
"You know, Will, when Crowley and I were young, we didn't have it so easy." Halt said one afternoon, seemingly out of nowhere.
"...What?" Will said in a confused manner. Seriously, Halt's statement had nothing whatsoever to do with what they had been talking about. Will was right to be confused.
"Nowadays, you always fight these weird old guys who no one likes because they're weird and old." Halt continued. "We had to fight them when they were young. And beautiful."
"Oh my gosh, you're going to tell me about Morgarath again." Will said, groaning.
"Of course I'm going to tell you about Morgarath again! Defeating him was the high point of my career," Halt said. "Nothing was the same after I got my first apprentice." He was fell silent, apparently thinking about how terrible having an apprentice was.
"…Halt?" Will said after a moment. "Are you okay?"
"Apprentices aren't allowed to ask questions," Halt snapped.
"I'm not an apprentice Halt," Will said. "I haven't been an apprentice for twenty years or something."
Halt raised one eyebrow at Will. "You'll never stop being an apprentice, Will," Halt said. "You're too irritating."
"Wow, rude!"
"Morgarath was horribly difficult to defeat," Halt said. "He was young and beautiful and half of the fans were in love with him."
Will slammed his against a conveniently placed table. "I have heard this story a hundred times in the past week," He mumbled into the conveniently placed table.
"But Crowley and I were younger and more beautiful and the other half of the fans were in love with us," Halt said.
Will looked up. "Um, I think at least half of the fans are guys, so…"
"Don't be so narrow-minded, Will," Halt said.
Will banged his head back into the conveniently placed table. "I hate you, Gilan," Will mumbled. Gilan was too busy having Crowley's job to visit Halt, so Will had to come every day and listen to Halt tell the same story.
"It started on a day just like this one, except Crowley and I were both still young, and Gorlan was still a fief, and King Duncan was Prince Duncan, and none of you idiots were born yet," Halt began.
"I am going to kill myself," Will said.