AN: Warning, this story will/ may contain occasional swearing, drinking, driving, suggestive themes, France, no pairings, FACE family squabbling, possible violence, Sarcasm, and whatever I decide to add here.

The story's narrator places his/her opinions here, not mine. I apologise for any offence which may be taken- it's not intentional. I just hope you like the story.

This story has been Beta'd... by myself XD I don't have one but if you want to be one I'll be super happy :D

"Shoot the hooker, shoot the hooker," yelled Romania as he leaned over from behind Bulgaria's seat, pointing at the television screen.

"Why, what use will that be?" asked Bulgaria pausing the video game they were playing and placing the controller on his lap, so he could push Romania away from his personal space.

"You get bonuses. Like money and shit. Just do it, you'll see!"
Bulgaria was curious how he knew that considering he didn't have this video game at home. Perhaps he just naturally assumed what with this game being so violent that random acts of murder would likely to increase the chances of him succeeding. Bulgaria picked up his controller once more and played the game, without shooting anyone and just jumping straight into the getaway car.
'Level cleared.' As he waited for the car chase scene to load, Bulgaria got up and walked to the coffee table where he left his drink. In the 30 seconds he was up for, Romania had managed to steel his place in the sofa and had the controlled in his lap, ready to play.

"Play the next level and you're dead," said Bulgaria and he proceeded to wave the man out of his seat.

"Awww, come on dude, I want to try playing. It looks fun"

"No, and get out of my seat"

"Please, pretty please, pretty please with iced cream," begged Romania, pulling a sweet puppy dog expression. Bulgaria sighed. Romania added fake cries to try and make himself sound more pitiful. For a grown man, he sure had a childish way of getting what he wanted.

The door bell rang

"Ah, fine, you can play the game while I go see who it is but you better gimme the controller when I come back"

"Yay!" exclaimed Romania with a big grin. He then quickly turned around and started playing the level. Sounds of accelerator pedals being pressed and guns being fired emitted from the TV as Bulgaria left the room.
Bulgaria looked through the peep hole to see who was at the door.
It was Serbia. Bulgaria was quite taken aback by that. He didn't expect an old rival to just show up on his door in the middle of the afternoon.

He opened the door and faked a smile,

"Serbia, what a surprise to see you here. Haven't seen you in ages" Serbia didn't reply and instead pushed passed Bulgaria and walked straight into the hallway.

"Erm, excuse me, what are you doing?"

"Where is he?"

"Huh? What? Who are you looking for?"

"Don't play dumb with me, I saw his car in the drive way. Where you hiding him?"

Bulgaria was dumbfounded, "I'm not hiding anyone."

"Then let me see Romania"

"See him at his house, don't come barging into mine uninvited and expect-"

"You're hiding him away from me and I'm not going to leave until I speak to him"

Bulgaria tried to calm himself; he wanted to kick the man out there and then but he knew that he was too stubborn and arrogant to leave quietly.
He kept his tone of voice low and calm although it was clear that he was annoyed.

"Like I said, Serbia, I'm not hiding anyone," Bulgaria pointed Serbia to the direction of his living room.
"He's in there!"

Serbia burst into the living room, his strong presence radiating every part of it. He looked around and then studied the empty room.

"Not hiding him, hmmm?"

"Look I swear, he was in there a minute ago"

"He still is," said Serbia and he walked over to a set of cabinets on the other side of the room. He pulled open the door of one of the cabinets with such force; Bulgaria feared he might pull in off its hinges. As the door was swung open, it revealed a curled up Romanian, hiding amongst the old magazines and cleaning supplies.

"Oh hey Serb, "said Romania with a casual smile, "What brings you here?"

Smooth Romania, very smooth.

"What brings me here?" asked the dark haired Serbian Gentleman.

Serbia knelt down, so he was somewhat at the same level as the Cabernet.

"Oh Just thought i'd stop by at my dear friend Bulgaria's house. Have a look through his cupboards," replied Serbia

Bulgaria pulled a face at the words; Dear friend.

"Oh really? That's nice" remarked Romania trying to make himself look natural. As natural as one can get with cleaning supplies around their legs, old magazines on their stomach and dust sweeping off the cabernet walls onto his Ash blond hair.

"Yes, and I've seen some rather interesting things here." Serbia took a further look at the awkward position the man was in. It looked uncomfortable to be hunched up like that.
He wasn't particularly in the mood to let the man relieve his discomfort, so he decided to increase it instead.
Serbia peered his head between the magazines, close to Romania's face.
A little too close for comfort.

Romania knew that Serbia was trying to intimidate him and god help him, it was working. Serbia carefully was observing every single nervous twitch, every eye movement, and every bead of sweat that radiated from Romania's face.

The Romanian realised he was being toyed with and it was working too well. He needed a way to put some space between the two of them. A lot of space. Certainly a lot more than the inch between them already.
He was about to say something like
'You know, having two people in here is making things too hot for me.'
Or
'Do you have something you want in here?'
or perhaps a simple
'You're a bit too close for comfort there buddy. Care to move away just a bit so I can breathe?'

No. That was what Serbia wanted him to say. To be thoroughly embarrassed by the situation and to beg for him to back off. To show himself as pathetic in front of Bulgaria. It was a dirty manoeuvre for Serbia to play, one he most likely learned from the Romanian himself since he was world famous for placing people in unnatural situations.

Romania had to act cool and natural, as if he was thoroughly enjoying this little situation he had been placed in. He needed time to think without being distracted by Serbia's piecing glare.

His eyes drew away from Serbia's. He tried to focus his attention on something else. It didn't work, he ended up studying the man's face; His delicate features, his rosy cheeks, his thin lips.
No. Look down, away from his face, Romania thought. His eyes drew down to the man's neck, his shirt; the top buttons were un-done. He could see right down at his bare chest.
No. Damn it. What was he playing at? Romania whipped his eyes back up to meet Serbia's, His breaths getting shallow. The man had not taken his eyes away from his and was now smirking more than ever.

Just then Romania knew what to do.

His lips formed a wide grin and his eyes narrowed.
His face beamed a playful expression.

Serbia's eyes widened.

The Romanian giggled, like a small child that was being tickled.

"Bulgaria, you should really join us in here! Its fun being all cramped up amongst the magazines." His tone was light but excited, like that of kindergartner who was about to have play time, "Hey you know what we should do, we should get some candles, all sit in here and tell scary stories to each other."

Serbia's smile dropped off his face. His entire expression darkened. He was pissed, very pissed. He backed off away from the squished Romanian but still knelt in front of the Cabernet, blocking it off. He didn't like losing, not to anyone, especially not to a pathetic little cowering nation hiding in a cupboard.

Serbia then picked up the first magazine from the pile resting on Romania's abdomen, gazing from the front cover to Bulgaria. The cover read 'Landscaping monthly; A collection of Europe's best lawns'

"Say Bulgaria, I didn't know you liked..." Serbia paused for a second to fully take in what the magazine was about,

Thank god he didn't pick up the playboy underneath. I'd hate to think of what he'd of said if he found 'gardening' such a hard work to come up with.

"I didn't know you liked Gardening"

The Bulgarian was silent. He didn't really know how to reply to that.

Not that Serbia's comment had created an echoing void inside the man's mind. Not that from a young age Bulgaria had been afraid of gardening. Not that the sheer mention of a rake and he would go off into hysterics. Not that he would have dreams that at night garden gnomes would come to life and strangle him in his sleep.

No, nothing interesting or possibly plot related like that. The reason was Bulgaria was too deep in thought to process Serbia's question.

He was still trying to figure out what exactly Serbia was playing at when he put his face so darn close to Romania. And why in god's name was Romania silent for so long. And why was he blushing. Blushing, actually blushing. That guy never blushes, he just smirks or gins wildly.

"Hey, Bulgaria?" Serbia made Bulgaria snap out of it.
Romania was looking like he was in pain from the position he was in and was desperately pleading with hand gestures for help as soon as the Serbia's head was turned away from his direction.

"Yes?"

"Since when did you start keeping lying, betraying bastards in your closet?"

"Pardon?"

The animated Romanian behind them, then realised he was well and truly fucked. His eyes lulled to his eye lids and he let his body slide out onto the floor. He lay there completely still, as if suddenly shot.

"It's just that... I'm all out. Can I borrow one of yours?"

AN: Romania is described as being little and small cause I saw some statistic sites that described Romanians as being quite short. I am also going to make him super religious in this fic because Romanians are very Religious. More so than the Serbs, The Italians, the Swiss, more so than any other country in Europe... w00t go Romania! You're a religious nut! xD yh, the Religious nut practises magic and looks like a Vampire... IT'LL WORK I SWEAR :D

Americanisms... Did I do them right? XD I honestly didn't realise how much more fun it is writing in 'American' til I decided to re read this... I giggle when I see the 'foreign' words. I'm not saying we don't use these words in English, they're just considered incorrect. I don't know why I decided for this fiction to write differently... maybe it's because most people are American here and I wanted to get more of an audience. Or that most people learn this type of English- I am not sure why. I don't even like it though... I get super angry at it XDDDDDD Like I'm all 'ITS AUBERGIENE NOT EGG PLANT! :(' and there's no way in hell I'm going to misspell 'colour' THERE's A 'U' THERE! :P But I wanted to try to write a fan fic in American style for fun~ Just to see how different it would be. So I want general corrections on my 'American' please- pretty please- Don't leave a poor Brit hanging xD

-but the 'colour' thing really does bother me so I'm going to not change that xD