Was it possible for an immortal's heart to break? Because for Captain Jack Harkness, it felt like his was not healing very quickly.
Had it really been only one month since the 456 had destroyed Ianto Jones and Jack's whole world? It felt like someone had taken a dagger and plunged it into his soul, twisted and then ripped it out in front of him. But there was nothing Jack could have done. This pain was unbearable, worse than anything he had ever experienced throughout every single death he had ever been through. Worse than Being shot in the head. Worse than being shot by a Dalek. Worse than being buried under ground for an entire century. But somehow, he would be forced to continue life regardless, never giving up but always suffering. Not for the first time in his existence, Jack wished that one day he would never wake up.
His determination to never live again had brought Jack to the conclusion that he would keep shooting himself in the heart until it finally stopped beating forever. As he sat in the living room of Gwen and Rhys' flat, he had counted so far that he had shot himself at least 60 times, but was still evidently awake.
"Come on, you stupid bullet!" He gasped his he reloaded the gun. Rhys was not going to be happy when he got in from work to see blood stained all over his sofa, but little things like that didn't seem to matter in Jack's world anymore. He'd get over it. He'd live.
"Jack?" It was Gwen, back from the building site. As an apology and thanks for getting rid of the 456, the government and Welsh Council were re-building the Water Sculpture and the Hub. Gwen had just been out there discussing the plans. "Jack, are you in here?"
"Yeah." He answered solemnly, putting his gun away – but not in time. Gwen saw his weapon and the blood dribbling down the sofa and used her initiative to put 2 and 2 together.
"Oh, Jack!" She flustered, dropping her handbag and rushing over to his side, just as fresh tears erupted from his eyes. "You can't go blaming yourself. You have to stop this. Live on, in his spirit, yeah? Please, Jack, for me."
Jack looked up into her eyes. Right then, a billion things ran through his head. So many people he'd seen fall and whither away into nothing. Too many friends and companions he'd seen die right before his eyes, usually because of him, too. And only very recently, they had fallen – Tosh, Owen and now the love of his life, Ianto Jones. It was not fair, and it was not going to continue. He gazed into Gwen's eyes, knowing that the love he felt for her was very different from the one he'd had with Ianto, but never-the-less it was love. There was no way he was letting her escape. She was not going like the rest of them. He had to protect Gwen Cooper for as long as it was possible.
"You're not going to leave me." He croaked.
"No, Jack, of course I'm not." She answered, not understanding the depth of his statement.
"No. You're staying. For as long as possible, I won't let you go."