I know this doesn't make up for not updating my other story as promised... I'll be sending phoenixfirekitsune the next chapter for Touched By a Babe as soon as I can! Mid-term reviews have been harsh and have taken much time from my writing... The mid-terms are next week and with them over hopefully everything will return to normal...
I know it's a lame excuse, but yes, I do need to study, especially for my Honors English class XP I'm horrible at writing essays... :sighs:
Anyway, I hope you like this! It's a one shot but if asked by a few reviewers, I might make it a few chapters (In time of course eh hehe...)
(Please excuse errors if found... this story is quite old and even though I did a quick scan through, there will be those that I've missed)
Thanks again and please do review! XD
(edited: A reminder to all that I don't own YYH... (as if anyone on this site owns anything but their stories, ne?... I just don't want to get sued so... yeah XP))
:Escaping the Heart:
A sigh displaced the air of the quiet room as the crimson haired boy laid cross legged on his bed. It seemed as though today was just a nightmare in his eyes.
It was merely two hours prior that an event occurred which sent him to this four-wall cage. This event was like no other he had ever faced before and in all reality he didn't know how to react to it. Should he have argued that this was unjust?
No, that would not have helped matters, he decided. So he took his punishment with a calm, clear head, even though he knew he was not at fault.
Raps upon his looking glass of the outside world sent Kurama tumbling back to reality and his eyes to cast to it. There, separated by the thin plane, was the dark, sodden man he had grown to love.
Stealthily he crept to the window and unhatched the lock, the wind and rain greeting him as the small figure slid inside with a grunt of acknowledgment.
"Hello Hiei, how are you?" he asked, trying anything to not sound as hurt as he truly was.
Unfortunately for him, Hiei was capable of sensing the distress radiating off him the moment he set foot in the dry, stale room.
Nothing needed to be said as the other's red eyes hardened and his glare set to work.
An ache set in Kurama's chest before he turned away from the accusing eyes, "Lets get you into something dry, you wouldn't want to get sick now, would you?"
"As if a ningen disease could infect me," the small one growled as he rid himself of his soaked cloak.
A smile twitched upon the taller one's face as he searched through his drawers, "Whatever the case, I'm sure you would rather be warm."
The springs squeaked as he settled himself onto the piece of furniture, "You are avoiding it, fox."
"What am I–" he stopped in mid-sentence as he turned to face Hiei, "Hiei! If I've told you once, I've told you twice, don't sit on my bed while wet!"
The dragon master raised a fine brow and smirked, "You're more testy today than usual."
"Hiei, take this and go get changed please... I'll goto the linen closet and change the sheets," he sighed out before placing the clothes onto the bed.
He would have continued out of his bedroom door too if not for the firm grip that latched itself upon his wrist, "Yes Hiei, is there anymore that I can do for you?"
His friend was never much for speaking, but his actions sure enough brought his point across and at this moment he was glaring meaningful at the fox.
The redhead turned his head away, "Please don't give me that look Hiei... I don't know if I can handle that right now."
The jagan wielder jerked hard at the other's arm, sending the now startled fox to fall forward onto the cushioned mattress, "Hn. You're distracted."
With a huff the other sat upright and set his hair back into place, "Yes, yes, whatever pleases you, Hiei..."
Red eyes blinked as if just noticing the loss of luster in the green ones.
Kurama stood, "Is there anything I can get you; food, a drink?"
"Hn... What's going on, fox?"
"Nothing to concern yourself with, I assure you. I'll get you something to eat and some dry sheets, in the mean time get changed and make yourself at home."
He scowled at the ningen clothing placed before him and put it on. After which, he placed his wet clothes on the floor.
"Here you go Hiei..." the redhead paused and stared at the mess on his floor and his bed with a blank look.
After placing the cookies and clean sheets he had gathered onto the desk, Kurama set to work on collecting the wet garments and bed covers and left the room yet again.
"Busying himself... an act of desperateness to avoid thinking about something," Hiei mumbled to himself once deciding to take away Kurama's duty of remaking the bed.
"Why thank you Hiei. That was very kind of you," Kurama smiled though his eyes didn't quite follow the action of supposed happiness.
"Hn, spill it," he grunted, again plopping down on the bed to lounge.
The other cleared his throat lightly as he sat himself at his desk, "It's quite a... miserable day isn't it."
Any other would have thought this was directed to the outside world in which was a mess of gray clouds and wetness, but his tone suggested more and it was thinly underlined with grief.
One would also think Hiei didn't care at all about the other's troubles for his lack of trying to force the truth out. In reality though, he was first trying to calm the one with soothing thoughts transmitted by his jagan.
Slim fingers ran through cascading red hair, straightening out unseen tangles, "Hiei..."
"Hn?"
"Please stop it, it only makes things hurt so much more...," he whispered slowly.
"What?"
"Fine..." he looked away, his eyes clouding up, "I suppose it was sottish of me to feel I could hide it..."
Hiei blinked away the surprise of being able to break through his friend's shield so easily to listen.
"It is something you'll ridicule me for, I'm sure... I mean, you've stated time and time again that to have ningen emotions is to be weak," he paused in hesitation, he fingers now pulling lightly at his hair to hold back something inside.
"Get on with it," his friend huffed irritably, eyeing the creature before him with slight caution.
"My–" he drew a shaky breath, his nerve now losing against his heartache, "F-forget it... Here have a cookie."
He held out the plate to the demon, but the other didn't move from his spot or even bother to look at him anymore.
"Hiei, is something... wrong?" he tentatively questioned, setting the sugary treats back down.
Impassive eyes showed slowly behind the lifting lids, "You know when I question something, I expect an answer, why else would I waste my breath. Yet here you are fumbling around for words about some shit. You're pathetic."
The glass fell to pieces before his eyes as the fox's shell finally crumbled completely and streams tumbled down his cheeks. Red hair feel forward in an attempt to hide himself but it was fruitless as the shorter demon's hand lifted it away for a clearer view.
"What is it that's causing you to...?" Hiei twitched lightly not able to finish as his friend fell forward to hide in his shoulder.
He slowly moved back to sit on the bed and uncomfortably patted his friend's back.
Hours must have passed before the crying supsided to sniffles and the fox pulled back with embarrassment, "I'm sorry..."
"Are you going to tell me what that was all about now?"
The jade eyes were too dry to tear anymore and so only his voice shook as he told what had happened.
"So... You're mother died in an accident this morning?"
Red hair bobbed, following the movement of it's owner.
"Good, now you have nothing left to hold you here," he smirked but the shocked, offended face sent him frowning again, "It was a joke. Death is something one must get over in order to keep on living. It's fate, why be sad about it when nothing can be done to get that life back?"
"I... suppose. Nonetheless, would you react that way if your sister were to?... It's one thing to say something, another to follow it."
The fire demon stiffened but nodded, "True..."
A small hand cupped the still trembling face as its thumb whipped away the trail the tears had left. He was uncertain in what he should do, as he had never had to deal with such emotions as his fox had... He had always found himself put under the spot-light of causing those disasters; the regular scapegoat.
Hiei shrugged, "Hn. Blame it on me than."
The other felt the hand lifting away and so used their own to hold it in place, "Why... Why would you say just a horrible thing...?"
Confused red eyes shifted away, "Others find comfort in it."
A weary smile formed itself upon the redhead's lips as he leaned forward, pressing them softly against the other's cheek, "That's... sweet of you to have offered, but no one should hold the blame in which is not their own."
The small frame stiffened as the other retreated, his eyes wide with shock. As quickly as the look came though, it disappeared, replaced with a look of indifference.
The other held his hand fondly, slowly releasing it to stand, "It's late and today's been an exhausting day, would you mind if we went to sleep early?"
"It stopped raining so..." Hiei trailed off after sensing the anxiety that rose, "I guess I have no choice but to..."
A form of relief was exhaled as clothes were gathered for sleeping.
Scarlet ran across his cheeks as he turned away quickly from the stripping fox, though he naughtily peaked ever so often. The light then went off and the darkness hid the bright blush.
"Hiei..." whispered the soft voice of the one that had crawled to lay beside him.
"What?"
"Thank you..."
A scowl reappeared on the childlike face as he rolled over to eye the other, "For what?"
Gentle hands came up to rest on the aforementioned face, "For trying to help, for being there..."
He adverting his eyes, "I'm sure the others could have done better."
Kurama moved closer, his arms drifting to lay upon Hiei's waist while his head moved to the other's shoulder, "It means so much more from you."
He jerked lightly before slowly relaxing into the gesture, "You're a baka."
There was silence after the comment, so naturally Hiei thought his friend was asleep or at the very least, trying to. That only lasted shortly though for soon light licks were placed delicately upon his neck.
A shiver racked through him, "Fox...?"
"You taste better than I had thought you would..." came the mumbled, almost sleepy reply.
The fire demon pulled away slightly and turned away, trying to avoid any more contact of that kind.
This only encouraged the drowsy redhead to move forward, closer to the warmth.
"Kurama, " he waited for any sign of response, but nothing came.
With a huff he buried his face into the soft pillow and tried to catch some 'Z's.
It had to be long into the night when his eyes decided to open. At first he growled, not knowing what the hell brought him out of his slumber, but that was cast aside as the thing made itself known.
He groaned lightly at first from the feeling before becoming stiff and only moving his eyes to look down. A hand, belonging to his bed mate, rubbed his chest in large circles.
Quickly he guided the hand away and tried to get up but it only brought about another blush as Kurama was roused.
"Is something the matter?" he sleepily grunted out as he rubbed the sand from his eyes.
"No, go back to sleep... I was just leaving."
This only farthered the redhead's efforts of waking up, "So soon? Why?"
The small figured plopped down at the foot of the bed, he might as well tell, after all he was never one to beat around the bush, "You're molesting me in your sleep, fox. The last thing you need at the moment is having to wake up being the forbidden child's mate, so go back to sleep, I'll show myself out."
That sure enough shut the other up and so Hiei started to gather his things, only too late noticing the body that snuck up from behind and engulfed him, "You would have me?"
Hiei was now the stunned one as the other continued their hold on him, "Y-you're delirious from lack of sleep and dehydration, go back to bed, baka."
The grip was still relentless as he tried to pull away.
"Hiei... Please don't leave... I promise I'll try and control myself better, I promise..." Kurama swore desperately, on the verge of pleading it sounded like.
He frowned slightly, settling down the items he had collected before rolling up in a small ball at the end of the bed.
Shifting made itself known as the bed moved slightly to its will. Hiei dared to peak back slightly only to be greeted by nothing.
His eyes darted around, wondering where the stealthy fox had gone, for he didn't even recall hearing the floor creak.
Again that night he froze, a hand petting his hair the cause, "I'm going for a small walk... I need some air, please be here when I return, it won't be long, honest."
Red eyes watched the dark retreating figure, the door's screech and closure the only sound left by the otherwise unhearable fox.
"Hn. Baka, thinking I'd wait for him..." he muttered, recollecting his things and walking out the door and down the hall to the laundry room.
Another heavy sigh departed those pink lips which were surrounded by flushed cheeks, caused only by the coldness of the wind.
He gazed around lightly at the concrete sidewalks and brick buildings. It looked all very cold, uninhabitable now... unbecoming...
"Hn. Do you honestly expect anything less from these ningens? They can't even take care of themselves, nonetheless the places they somehow managed to gain control of."
Kurama jumped lightly before bowing his head with another sigh, "Hiei... Must you sneak up on me?"
"If you weren't all depressed and shit, and accepted some things, you would have known I was here."
The frown on the other's face only furthered it's growth, "I thought I explained myself already to you, Hiei. You may not be able to understand, but let me put it in a way in which you will."
Green eyes peaked out from behind red bangs, "Remember that pain caused by the implantation of your Jagan?... Well perhaps double that and center all the burning emotion of hurting on your heart... That's... what's happening..."
He paused to grab lightly at his jacket, pulling it closer to himself, "My mother... she taught me the one thing my past life never thought to or could learn... and so, in return for all those sacrifices she gave me, I... I did all I could to make her happy, I did things that she herself was not given the chance to do. Now, now I can't say I know what to do... For, Hiei, I lived for her and truth be told, I cannot remember how to live without her..."
Hiei felt his eye twitch before a scowl took form, "Pathetic... Letting your ningen emotions take you this far. You're fully capable of living for yourself, when you realize that I might return."
He turned his back to the redhead, his feet moving to his will in the opposite direction.
It was only a moment later a sword was drawn and the figure whipped around, "Lower your plants, fox. I refuse to stay if self-pity is all you're handing out..."
The demon trailed off, seeing the fox not at all transferring his energy to the flowers, but to himself. The red hair turned silver as its body grew ears, tails, and into a fox.
The head of the now silver fox bowed in disgrace before darting off, out of sight.
His sword dropped to his side, his mouth falling a tad agape, "He can shape-shift into his fox form...? Why did he never tell me this?"
He clenched his teeth and cursed, "Koenma will have your head for this. He knows that you can't control your Youko form as it is. Your fox form is probably even worse..."
With that, Hiei flitted off in the direction the silver furred fox had went.
The grass gave way to his feet as he tentatively walked across it, "Fox, come out, I know you're here."
"Why? You've already stated you would not stay if I were pitying myself... I still have those ningen emotions as well," the voice echoed throughout his head.
"Whatever, baka. Just make sure Koenma doesn't catch you like this," he made a face of anger but never gained the chance to leave as the grass engulfed him.
His sword was quickly in hand, but his efforts at escaping were futile. His arms and legs were soon stretched to their max and tethered down.
"Kurama, baka! Cut this shit out!" he twisted and pulled, even tried to power up his fists with flames, yet it didn't work... That left him stunned temporally.
"Hush, wouldn't want a ningen to find you like this, ne? That would be kind of demeaning for a demon to be helped by a ningen..." a few short, rueful chuckles sounded after that, which certainly caught Hiei's attention.
It was as if his will to escape had ceased when his body just stilled and his face contorted to a pained look.
This drew the fox out of hiding as he crept up beside the demon. Eyes didn't meet as the red were forcibly closed.
"Hiei?.."
He saw the fire demon's jaw clench further as response. A sudden hurt spread throughout his small chest, something he had never felt before in this form.
Whimpers and one small nudge persuaded Hiei to cast open his eyes and look at the foolish fox. Though what was seen was something he never expected to see.
The silver beauty was bitting at his paw, while his tails spazed out and thumped and jerked in different directions.
"Fox, you fool! Stop that!"
The amber eyes looked up from their work to gaze sorrowfully at the other, before continuing.
The fight for freedom now raged on even more violent than the last, "You baka! Stop this! Why the fuck are you gnawing at your damn paw!"
"I feel something... it hurts, yet I know not what it is. So, I counteract it with another pain I do know of," was the reply as crimson started in streams down the petite leg and dripped down from pointed teeth.
"Well, fool, did it work, huh! Is this how desperate you've become? You can't cure your sorrow so to–"
The blades of green laid now pointed underneath his back, only enough for warning. A last lick was heard before the animal perched itself atop of the demon's chest, causing the grass to only dig further into the other's backside.
Red stained the fox's mouth from his earlier acts and the wetness that seeped into his shirt let him know that he was still bleeding.
"What's the point of this, hmm? Can't live your new life so you take up the old?"
"Isn't that what you've be trying to plant into my head from the beginning? To leave this way of life and rejoin in that of killing, stealing, and whoring? Don't deny this, Hiei."
The gold abysses laid solely on those of red, waiting for a retort or some other crude remark.
"I suppose you've gotten your wish now. With casting away that which I have learned in the past years of this life, I can become the slut, the robber, and the back stabber you wanted! By giving up the very thing my mother taught me, I can become that heartless creature that you dreamed of! With forgetting all that I can forget the very pain that dwells in my heart- Shuichi's heart... I can forget her, and I can forget you, and I can forget Yusuke, and– and I can forget everyone..."
Claws came out in his flight of angered thoughts before recoiling as again another ache thundered through him, "I can just forget..."
Hiei breathed in lightly, never for a moment failing to remember the blades that pricked his skin and the claws that just retracted from his chest, "If forgetting were possible in this form, you wouldn't be hurting so badly and recalling all that caused it. You'll never escape the pain, your heart is still the same as it always will be, the only thing that changes is what you think affects it. Remember, fox, it take years to blank something out of memory yet only a moment to recall it..."
Tiny legs pounced off him and settled with laying down, hiding his face in his mass of tails, "Anything's worth a try, for pain such as these emotions do not register the same way as in my other forms... It is but an ache that comes as frequently as my heart beat..."
Hiei shook his head back and forth, the only part of him that wasn't tied down, "If reverting back to your old self is only to rid yourself of those feelings, count me out. I'm done with you. Not once had I expected this from the fox I knew and came to know better. Pathetic, what would your mom say if she were here?"
"As I knew already..." came the vague reply.
"Well then, let me go."
The fox licked gingerly at his paw, his face relaying nothing of his thoughts or what he was going to do.
"They shall unwind once I'm far enough away... Farewell, please send my regards to... to Shuichi's old friends."
Another set of vines erupted from the ground, incasing the figure coming towards them, "Yes, farewell to you too, Yusuke."
A rueful look took surface in the golden eyes before the silver animal darted off into the woods.
"Koenma's going to kill him! He's going to get imprisoned and we're the ones that are going to have to hunt him down!" the young detective bellowed out, fussing and pulling at the still strong bindings.
Hiei's eyes clasped firmly shut, which Yusuke took as an act of anger though it was of another emotion entirely, one too strange for the small one to explain in a word as ningens had, "He's contract was up and has been up for quite a while... Mine, on the other hand is not..."
Small arms ripped out from ground at feeling the restrictions lighten up, "Report what I have told you anyone else, Detective, and I will kill you... I fear not imprisonment of the Rekai..."
The demon flitted off in the direction of the fox, leaving a baffled teen behind, "What the hell? He's the one that called me down here!"
It didn't take the speedy demon long to get to where the fox was. The injured paw was helping him out, as it left a trail as well as slowed the other down.
"Change back, now."
"Why do you follow one that you detest? It's quite unlike you," was the only reply as he slide under the tree roots through a small opening.
Right away the small figure was there, sending his hand underneath to try and grasp at the fur, "Get out you damn fox! I swear you're trying my last bit of patience!"
His youki seemed to bubble on edge, held back with little force in warning to the small creature.
"Why is what I do bothering you so much Hiei? If you have anything to say, state it now! I will wait no longer for it..."
Hiei snorted, his tiny hand still groping for something soft, "Hn. What other answer do you need? You're smart enough to realize that I would sooner kill myself in this world full of baka ningens if not for having another demon to be around."
Teeth leeched on to the appendage that was searching, "Is that all you have to say to me? That I was merely there because otherwise you would kill yourself! You said I was pathetic for those emotions I held, perhaps you are pathetic for never experiencing them... Good bye!"
The fingers wrapped themselves around the jaw that was bitting into their palm, "Where do you plan on going? You're cornered under this tree!"
A dark chuckle changed all that he thought as the fox soon stated, "Do you think I would just go down here to hide? Fool, there's a portal down here, just big enough to fit me through."
All his movement stopped, his hand losing it's bearings, his body going slack, "You... were actually going to leave..."
The mouth left his hand, "I wasn't lying, Hiei. I said my good byes for a quite obvious reason."
The small one fell backwards on his behind, lifting his hand up yet not observing it as his gaze could not focus, "Y-your really leaving...? No, no you can't be..."
A set of golden suns peered out from where they were, "Yes, Hiei, I truly am..."
A shiver crept up the demon's spine causing him to pull his knees to his chest for warmth as all seemed to leave him, "No..."
"Yes I am," the fox growled firmly, quite feed up with repeating himself.
Another tremor racked his body as he tried farther to curl in on himself. Nothing leaving his lips that were now so firmly caught between his teeth.
It is with that the frigid silver fox, who undoubtably caused this fire demon to lose his warmth, departed from this world.