Author's Note : Just in case anyone's wondering, I was formerly known as Martyred-Wings, as I wanted to return to my preferred user name, which I use practically everywhere.
Dean sat alone, head bowed before the roaring fire in Bobby's living room, eyes glancing up occasionally even though the photo had long since burned away. He sighed, tried not to think too deeply of the photo that had showed them as a group for the last time on Earth. He closed his eyes at the pain the backwash of unbidden memories caused him. He saw once again Bobby in his wheelchair, his brother taller than everyone else, Castiel standing proud and elegant at the far edge of the photograph, himself standing there and finally Jo and Ellen, little suspecting of the fate that would soon befall them.
"God speed, Jo and Ellen," he murmured to no one but himself, raising the half empty beer bottle he held between warm fingers to his lips in a toast to fallen hunters.
He threw back a large mouthful, gulped at the now too warm and slightly flat liquid, before returning his gaze to the care worn floor beneath his feet, gaze empty, eyes locked in a thousand mile stare, seeing without seeing a thing. He barely flinched when Castiel appeared as if from nowhere, sat gently beside him, gaze resting on Dean's face without saying a word.
"What is it, Cas?" Dean prompted, waving an apology at the angel for his initial dismissive response.
Castiel shrugged, as though letting him off the hook. That one gesture absolved Dean of all guilt, as though his harshness was to be expected considering all that had happened. Dean looked up and smiled half heartedly, reaching out to touch the angel's knee briefly, to further cement his apology.
"I'm sorry, Dean. Want to talk about anything?" Castiel offered, gruff voice purposefully gentle, non invasive, as though offering Dean some space if he so wished it.
"Not really. Not yet, at any rate," Dean said, with a pained smile at Castiel.
Castiel nodded, patience stamped clear on his gentle features, firelight flickering and dancing in his eyes, making them seem darker, more mysterious than they already were. They remained sitting in silence, both trapped in their own private thoughts; Dean thinking of Jo and Ellen, Castiel thinking of Lucifer, how he'd taunted the angel while he was trapped in the burning ring of flames.
"I was thinking of you the whole time, you know," Castiel suddenly said, trapping Dean's gaze with an intent look of his own.
"Excuse me?" Dean asked, taking another swig of the beer from his bottle, before pulling a disgusted face at the flat taste and setting the bottle aside.
"When Lucifer had me. I was thinking of you. I wondered what you would do in the same position, how you'd act, and it helped me to stand firm against him. I thought that if Lucifer got to me, I wouldn't see you anymore," Castiel said, blue eyes trained on the floor beneath his feet.
He thought again of Lucifer asking Castiel to join him, to come over to his side, and Castiel's subsequent threats that Lucifer would not get to Sam, that Castiel himself would die first than let that happen. He sighed, looked up at the fire, remembering all too clearly about the ring of fire that trapped him not so long ago, of Lucifer's taunts that Castiel was just like him, removed from Heaven, an outcast, that Castiel would take his place as Heaven's enemy number One if Lucifer was no more. Even though his mind balked at the idea, he wondered if maybe Lucifer had a point.
He turned away from his troublesome thoughts, knowing full well that that was how Lucifer worked, played on a person's insecurities in such a sympathetic manner as to win them over and convert them to his side. Castiel straightened his shoulders, vowed to himself that that would never happen. He had Dean to always call him back, to always return to, not Lucifer. Castiel was loyal to Dean, loved Dean and always would. He even felt some peripheral loyalty to Sam now, even though that loyalty was pale in comparison too the link he shared with Dean.
"I guess - what I'm saying is - I wanted to come back to you, vowed that I would protect Sam, return to you - or die trying," he said, quietly. "Lucifer must not win. He must die, no matter the cost."
"I know, Cas," Dean replied, uncertain as to what to say to Castiel, choosing to say no more than that, for fearing he'd break the spell of the moment.
In that one instant, it seemed to Dean as if Castiel was saying that he loved him, in his own way. Dean smiled, warmth filling his body where not so long ago sadness, loss, and grief had reigned. He reached forward, took Castiel's hand in his, smiled again when the angel's fingers curled instinctively around his own. Castiel's hand felt warm, a welcoming weight against his palm, a constant reminder that he was real, and really there with him because he wanted to be.
"Thanks, Cas. I'd always come back for you, too," Dean said, in an affirmation of his own love for Castiel. "Nothing, and no one, could keep me from you."
The angel nodded, smiled, looked touched when he realized what Dean had really said to him. In many ways they were alike; rebellious, unable to say what they truly meant or felt, yet capable of such love, such compassion, recognizing it in each other because they each knew what it meant to love, to lose, to feel lost and alone, abandoned.
Dean sighed, squeezed Castiel's hand gently, before he said - "Fancy a beer? My one's warm. I'll get fresh ones."
Castiel looked uncertain, mouth opening as though he was about to protest, but Dean lifted his hand to forestall any words, an affectionate warning clear on his handsome face.
"Dude. You drank when Ellen was here," he said, before his face fell back into its sad mask once more.
His own words haunted him, served as a reminder that Ellen was no longer there, gone with her daughter in gouts of flames and violent explosion, to send the Hellhounds back to Hell, so keeping them from Sam and Dean's back.
"It will be alright, Dean. They died an honorable death," Castiel told him, squeezing his hand supportively. "And I could do with a beer, thank you. Bring several."
Dean suddenly smiled, emotions shifting once more to amusement, as he tried to lock his sadness away in the deepest part of his own heart he could find. He was tired of doing that - locking his own feelings away - but it was the only thing he could do to carry on, keep going, keep fighting. There would be time for grieving later on, when all this was over.
"Sure thing, dude. We're getting a bad influence on your angelic ass," he said, pushing playfully against Castiel's shoulder and setting Castiel to chuckling.
Dean smiled back, loving the way the laughter and reflected firelight sparkled in Castiel's eyes, made his cheeks glow with borrowed light and vitality. Dean stood, dropped a kiss to Castiel's forehead before moving to Bobby's kitchen to retrieve several bottles of beer from the fridge, popping the lids while he was still in the kitchen.
He returned to the living room, and settled on the couch closer to Castiel than he had before, knees, thighs touching comfortably, skin heated beneath their clothes. They remained companionably quiet while they drank their beer, eyes catching every so often, gazes locking and speaking louder than words before they turned away, slightly uncomfortable.
Castiel turned back, saw that Dean seemed entranced by the fire, eyes watching the dancing flames with rapt attention once again and the angel smiled gently. Dean looked almost relaxed, innocent, so lost in thought, he barely noticed when Castiel closed the distance between them, pressed his body more closely against the hunter's.
Dean turned, but didn't pull away, just blinked at Castiel, eyes slightly hazy with drink, as he stared intently into the angel's much clearer gaze. He held his breath slightly, but Castiel didn't move, didn't do anything, just stared at him intently. Grumbling beneath his breath, the hunter finally closed the distance between them, head tilted to the side so that he could get a better angle for kissing Castiel. His eyes drifted shut and he felt the impossibly soft surfaces of Castiel's lips beneath his own..
He forgot about the rest of the beer still waiting by his feet, forgot everything in that one moment for the feel of Castiel's mouth working beneath his own, tongues clashing and fucking into each other's mouths eagerly. Dean didn't protest when Castiel pushed him down onto the couch, straddled his body as they continued to kiss, legs tangled in a jumbled mess as Dean's arms slid round Castiel's hips supporting his weight against him.
The firelight played across their clothes, their skin as they slowly peeled layer after layer away from each other's bodies, breath harsh and impatient as their fingers scrabbled against sometimes unresponsive fabric. Finally, they both were naked, bathed in the warm glow of the fire, skin burnished bronze in the red-orange-yellow light of the flames dancing in the darkened room.
Castiel settled against Dean's body, erection rubbing against Dean's equally hard cock, making whimpers fall and mingle in the air between them. Dean groaned softly, shifted to a more comfortable spot beneath Castiel, hooking his legs in a better position around the angel's slim body. He reached up, slid slightly sweaty hands over the angel's shoulders, stared up into Castiel's open face, before he smiled gently at him. Castiel smiled back wordlessly, before he leant down to retrieve the lube from Dean's jacket pocket.
Dean shivered when he saw the lube, mouth gaping slightly as he watched Castiel spread some of the liquid over his fingers, easing his slick hand between their sweat soaked bodies. He pressed fingers against Dean's hole, breached him gently and waited until the burn, the pain of his entrance eased from Dean's muscles, allowing him to press his fingers still further inside Dean's body.
Dean moaned loudly at the feel of Castiel's fingers filling him up inside, lifted his hips so that the angel could gain better access to him, moaned again at the feel of Castiel stretching him wide. He closed his eyes when he felt Castiel ease his fingers from his hole, waited expectantly as Castiel slicked his cock with lube, before he felt Castiel press the tip of his cock against the bundle of muscles surrounding his hole.
Castiel watched as Dean's brow furrowed, waited until the hunter relaxed around his cock before he breached Dean further, pushed his cock deep inside the hunter's body until he was tight inside him. He loved the feel of Dean's warmth surrounding him, loved the sight of the hunter spread wide and bare beneath him and he started to thrust into Dean, small cries easing past plump, kiss swollen lips as he fucked into Dean.
Dean moaned loudly, loved the feel of Castiel thrusting into him, moving inside of him and filling him up with his cock. He took all that Castiel gave him, angled his hips to take still more and cried out when Castiel deepened his thrusts, grunts of exertion working loose from pouting lips as he fucked into him harder still. Dean's eyes unfocussed with pleasure and arousal, until the room was a blur around him. All he could feel was Castiel's body covering his own, Castiel's dick thrusting inside him, stroking across his prostate and sending shivers of need through Dean's body, working from his throat with pitiful cries of want.
He arched his back, mouth open in a silent scream as his orgasm tightened his balls but refused to go any further. He wrapped agonized fingers around his painfully hard erection, pumping his fist over the hard length until he finally found release, spurted over his palm in thick strands, which covered Castiel's bare abdomen in turn.
Castiel felt Dean's muscles clamp against his dick, surrounding him with impossibly tight heat and he lost control, thrust into Dean harder until it almost hurt the hunter, before he filled Dean up with his hot release, body shuddering against Dean's as he climaxed. Slowly he laid his head upon Dean's shoulder, breath rasping in his chest, in his throat, dick still sheathed tight inside Dean's ass, too tired to move.
He felt Dean's arms wrap around his waist, felt the hunter's feather light kisses decorate his sweaty cheeks, until Dean slowly fell asleep beneath him. The angel slowly eased his soft member from Dean's ass slowly, before quietly dressing both himself and Dean. He settled down beside the hunter, snuggled tight against the hunter's side while he slept, smiled when Dean's arms instinctively wrapped around his body when Castiel laid his head against Dean's shoulder.
Castiel smiled in contentment, continued to lie there awake and watchful, until both Sam and Bobby returned in the morning, yawning sleepily from their night of sleep.
Bobby grunted, amusement sparkling in his eyes even as he said - "Wake up, ya idjits. Don't just lie there - make me some breakfast."
Sam didn't take any notice of his brother and the angel, all too used to seeing them together, kissing, hugging, or just looking pleasurably fucked out to even bat an eyelid these days. He merely sat across the room from them, to pull on his socks on previously bare feet, toes wiggling in the fabric to warm them.
Castiel got up, picked up some of the empty beer bottles and took them into the kitchen to throw them into the trash, glass clinking loudly in the otherwise mostly silent room. Bobby watched him, eyes shining beneath the shade of his baseball cap, continued to watch as the angel began to throw some toast in the toaster.
Dean caught the older hunter's smile before he asked - "What?"
"That boy's good for you, Dean," Bobby said, with a nod in Castiel's direction.
Castiel looked up at that, smiled slightly at Bobby, before turning a much brighter, more affectionate smile onto Dean himself.
"Stick with him, boy, you hear me?" Bobby called out after Dean when the elder Winchester got up to join Castiel in the kitchen.
"I hear ya, Bobby. I'm not gonna leave Cas! What makes you think I will?" Dean threw over his shoulder as he started to make coffee.
"No reason and good to hear it," Bobby replied, before turning to Sam, with a roll of his eyes.
Sam smiled, dimples flashing in the light as he cast a glance over at Dean exchanging a gentle kiss with Castiel. He nudged Bobby with one sock covered foot, nodding over at the kissing lovers, before both started wolf whistling and cat calling at them rudely. Dean flashed them his middle finger without even breaking into the kiss with the angel.
Castiel broke the kiss when the toast started to burn, removed the overcooked bread with careful fingers as Dean watched him tenderly. Behind them, he could hear the gentle sounds of Sam and Bobby discussing Lucifer, the newly risen horseman and Crowley in quiet voices. Both of them looked up at the return of Dean and Castiel, took their portions of toast from them, before continuing with strategies to defeat Lucifer in the coming weeks.
After all, there had to be some chance of hope in their seemingly never ending fight ....
-fini-