Step Aside for the Next…

One Shot

{Missing Scene from Crossfire}

{I didn't see the episode only saw a scene on youtube between Chloe and Clark and this was my take on how it should have gone down…}

Disclaimer… I do not own Chloe or Clark for if I did they would have been in a relationship fighting off all things evil in Metropolis many seasons ago!

"All you have to ask yourself is… what do you want?"

It was such a simple question; straight to the point, no preamble whatsoever. It was so like Chloe that for a moment he couldn't figure out why he was surprised that she would ask.

He felt the slight tug at the corner of his mouth as he stood above Watchtower watching the sun slip beneath the horizon.

"What do you want?"

Her voice continued to echo in his mind. He exhaled a deep breath allowing his hands to rest in his pockets. He should know the answer to this question. In fact it should seem pretty easy… he should want… he should want Lois… and perhaps a part of him did… the young man in him that once envisioned his whole life with Lana… that man wanted Lois… he wanted her because it would be easy… it would be one of those safe relationships where if it didn't work… well then he would be hurt, he may even be slightly heartbroken, but he would pick up the pieces of his life and move on. And of course Chloe would be there… to support him, to be whatever it is he needed her to be.

He sighed. He did want the safety of what Lois could offer. But was that fair to her? Could he ever love her the way that she deserved? He knew that he could love her… but to what depths? What capacity could he love her? When it was all said and done could he ever truly be more to her than what he was now… a good friend, a supportive shoulder, an admirable sparring partner? Could he ever give her his heart; trust her with it? Could he ever allow himself to let down his guard and express his fears? Would he be able to trust her enough to just be himself?

'That's what you want!'

That is what he wanted. He wanted to be able to share everything and know that when it was all said and done he could trust the person in his life to always be there. He wanted to know that he could look to his side and see her smiling back at him, trusting him, loving him, protecting him while he in turn protected the world. Lois was a lot of things… but that person… he wasn't sure if she were capable. Not that she wouldn't try… not that she wouldn't attempt to give him all of herself… but if he were going to be honest, truly and utterly honest then he knew he would never be able to allow himself to let her be that person for him.

That position technically was already filled… that space in his life was already occupied. And almost something akin to fate his phone beeped signaling an incoming message. Pulling the device from his pocket he smiled at the message written across the screen.

Just busted down his last firewall… he can talk to my hand… dumb$$!

He felt the chuckle deep in his chest bubble forth and smiled. Shaking his head he felt the answer come to him softly… just as softly as the name that left his lips… "Chloe…" …it's you… I want you.

Subconciously he placed the phone over his chest right over his beating heart as the November air brushed over him.

She wasn't safe… she never had been. In all truth being around Chloe was one of the most dangerous things in his life… ranking right up there with green K and stealing bites of his mom's homemade apple pies. She had no idea, but she could do more damage to him and his fragile heart than she knew.

Caring for Chloe, wanting her happiness, those things he could do. Protecting her, watching her from afar, he was more than equipped to do. It was always the other thing; the loving her that he was cautious about. Loving Chloe Sullivan could break him and anything that he could ever be. Because if something ever happened to her; if he ever found that he couldn't save her… after allowing himself to fall in love with her… he wasn't sure how or if he could recover.

How could he pick up the pieces of his life if she weren't there to help him? How could he go on and live when she wouldn't be there to live with him? He didn't think he could… he didn't think he would want to and that's what scared him.

It was easier to protect her… to protect the world if he wasn't blinded by the love he would no doubt feel for her. It wouldn't be like when Lana left… there would be no tears shed and then going on to live his life… there would be no life after Chloe… how could there be?

"Hey I texted you like ten minutes ago… what are you doing up here?" She asked from the doorway.

Looking over his shoulder he smiled. Her blond hair was tucked haphazardly beneath an old hat that must have belonged to her father, and her body was lost in his oversized black coat. Her fingers were undetectable within the large sleeves. He wore it for effect when he was in public. On her it looked absolutely ridiculous and made his smile just a little wider. Her hands were on her hips, frowning at him as she trekked across the rooftop to stand beside him. "You know I thought you would be just as eager to figure out what Tess is up to as I am." She remarked.

For a moment he didn't speak. He just stared at her… this tiny woman with a life force that could rival Greek Gods… could she ever truly know what she meant to him? Could she ever truly understand how important she was to him and the man that he was becoming?

Raising her hand he saw the tips of her fingers peek out from the sleeve as she waved it in front of his face. "Hey you still with me in there?" She asked with a smile.

"Sorry… I just came out here to get some fresh air… I must have zoned out." He remarked.

She nodded with a furrowed brow almost as if not believing him. She only waited a moment before jumping right in. "Have you been thinking about what I said?" When she saw his confusion she sighed. "Seriously Clark… don't stand on the sidelines waiting around for something to happen… you give up a lot for this world… it's okay to want something or in this case, someone for yourself." She smiled wistfully.

"I don't always have the luxury of going after the things that I truly want. Sometimes it's better for everyone if I just step aside."

She nodded as if she understood… as if she agreed and then questioned. "Better for who exactly?"

He sighed seeing that she wasn't going to let this go. "Chloe…" He warned softly.

She shrugged somewhat nonchalantly. "I'm only asking who exactly is this better for? How can you really believe that? You protect humans everyday. You give us a second chance to live our lives and yet here you are too afraid to live your own… how does that work?"

"I never said that I was afraid… but I know what I'm allowed to have in this life… and what I can't afford to."

"And you think that finding someone to love isn't something you're allowed to have? Clark do you hear yourself? If anyone in this world deserves to find love, to have it and hold on to it… it's you. Look at all you've done; all the people that you've saved! I can't think of anyone more deserving of love than you!" She pointed out exasperated with his attitude towards this conversation.

"But it isn't fair of me to ask anyone to put up with the life that I was born to lead… that I was destined to have. I mean look at how I live… my quick exits, the constant upheaval that is my life… who could put up with that? Who would want to?" He asked.

"The woman that loves you, would; that's who! No one said it would be easy but it doesn't have to be impossible! The only reason why you're not skywriting your name amidst the clouds with Lana right now is because of Lex Luthor, not because of Lana not being able to handle your lifestyle!" She pointed out needlessly. "I'm not saying that you don't have a challenge ahead of you but it just seems like you're stacking more cards against you than you have to. Perhaps you just aren't giving Lois enough credit. I think she would take to your lifestyle just fine if you gave her the chance."

"But could she take to me?" He asked.

"I don't understand."

He sighed. "As much as I do for this world… as much danger that surrounds me every day, after it's all said and done… I just want a place to come home to. I want dinner on the table, a dog in the front yard… I want normalcy. I don't want the bullpen to be what I come home to." He remarked desperately trying to steer clear of what he really wanted to say.

"Wow… I never pegged you for wanting the Susie-homemaker type." She admonished with a slight chuckle.

"That's not what I said…" He defended.

"You want her barefoot and popping out your children as well?" She asked with a raised eyebrow.

"No… I mean, yes… I mean… I would like to have… children someday with her." He exhaled a deep breath. "The truth is I want to share my life with her and still know that she wants the same things that I do… Not the things that the Blur wants but what I want. She can have her career and still…" He struggled for the right words.

"She can still be your wife at the end of the day… you want what your parents had." She offered.

He nodded after a moment. "Yeah… how many women out there do you know want something like that?" He asked softly.

She shrugged a wistful smile gracing her lips as she turned and looked up into his eyes. "I'm sure… there are a few left in this feminist world." She remarked.

She was one of those women… he knew it in his heart. Perhaps they both did.

He broke the staring contest first. "Yeah well when you find one… let me know." He replied.

She nodded. "Will do! And you're probably right… Lois wasn't meant for domesticity! She would drive you crazy in a week!" She exhaled a deep breath feeling the tension of the moment between them. "So do you want to see all I found out about Tess's elusive, 90's wannabe cool hacker or what?" She offered changing the subject.

"Of course," he smiled allowing her to lead the way back to her office. He smiled sadly… watching her walk away from him towards the door. The perfect woman just out of his reach and yet so close… would he ever get the nerve to tell her? Would he ever take the chance? As she looked over her shoulder holding the door open for him he sighed… probably not. Like he said there were just some things in this world that he couldn't afford to gamble on… she was on of those things! So he would just have to settle. He would have to take only what his poor heart could handle and step aside for the next man.