Title: Origins of the Blast-Ended Skrewt
Author: dem bones
Genres: General/Humour
Summary: Professor Flitwick discovers a manticore in the wardrobe. Professor Hagrid takes it in, can he keep it secret from the Ministry? NOT SLASH
Word count: 1,953
A/N: Response to Illegal Breeding Challenge.
Disclaimer: I don't own HP
After all the students had left for the summer, Hogwarts was empty once again. The only wizards and witches that remained were those of the Hogwarts Staff and any students who were free for the summer.
The headmaster had given Professor Sprout some pansies to grow in the greenhouse while Professor Vector was arguing with Professor Trelawney over her divination after she was told she was going to meet her utter demise at the hands of numbered tables.
Professor McGonagall was engaging in an interesting chess match with Professor Snape while Professor Sinistra was studying the sky through her telescope.
During all of this Professor Flitwick was sitting in his room peacefully grading all the work he had received before the summer when he heard this quiet noise almost like a whisper.
'It couldn't be Professor Snape could it?' Flitwick thought.
He continued grading his papers when the whisper became a quiet growl.
'Definitely Professor Snape.' Flitwick looked up momentarily before huffing at his collegue's immaturity. 'Arguing with Albus no doubt.'
"GRRRROOOOOARRRRR!"
Flitwick nearly jumped as high as the ceiling.
"W-what i-is-t-that?" He said to himself as he cautiously got out of his chair and began to slink around the wardrobe at the side of the classroom.
He picked up the wooden cane that leaned on the side of the wardrobe and flicked the door open.
A manticore stood on it's four legs with it's tail hovering above ready to strike.
Flitwick screamed.
"What was that?" Snape asked interrupted during his chessmatch with Professor McGonagall. He had put her in check just one more move and it would be checkmate.
Professor McGonagall looked worried.
The screaming eventually ceased. "Whoever it is I'm sure they're just fine." Snape said before Professor McGonagall gave him the most scariest looking glare he had even seen.
"Fine, we'll go check up on him, knowing my luck he's run into some cute little manticore in dire need of a backrub."
When Snape left the room, Professor McGonagall moved her pieces so that Professor Snape was in checkmate.
"HAH! I'VE FINALLY WON YOU CUNNING RAT BASTARD!" She said in excitement, banging her fist against the table in triumph.
Snape chose that time to peek in the room.
"Minerva~"
Professor McGonagall blushed. "Coming."
RHAG
Professors Vector and Trelawney were the first to arrive in the Charms Classroom where Flitwick was sitting on a stool his legs bunched up underneath him shivering frantically chewing on his bottom lip as he seemed to be etching something on the table.
"Filius, what are you doing?" Professor Vector asked.
"Doodling. THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH IT."
"Why are you defensive?"
"I'M NOT DEFENSIVE."
Luckily Professor Vector was spared any more dialogue after Professor Snape and Professor McGonagall stepped inside.
"Has Filius gone in hyperactive overdefensive mode?" Professor Snape asked as if it were the most normal thing in the world.
"Yeah, he tried to-"
"ENOUGH. Filius describes to me what you seen."
"It was a manticore. It was frightening. It was scary."
"It's getting OLD." Snape replied blatantly. "Filius obviously has problems starting a sentence with words other than it, so I'll perform the act of opening up the wardrobe."
"Severus..." warned Minerva.
"Are you going to open the wardrobe?"
"No."
"Well, someone's got to do it."
Dumbledore chose that time to arrive. "Who was screaming? I nearly jumped out of my socks."
"Filius saw a manticore. Albus, please tell Severus not to open the wardrobe."
"What, it's only a cute furry manticore what harm could it do?"
To Minerva's horror, Albus' twinkling blue eyes shined in amusement.
Snape scoffed, "See at least Dumbledore is courageous, where's your gryffindor spirit?"
"Doing the graveyard shift." Minerva said at the same time Snape opened the wardrobe.
A ghastly sound echoed through the classroom as Snape drew his wand in reflex to defend himself. It was the wrong thing to do as the manticore ran chased after him.
"CURSE YOU, DUMBLEDORE!" He shrieked as the creature began to gain some ground.
Dumbledore smiled and McGonagall staring at him in disbelief couldn't help herself and began to laugh.
"Call Hagrid. Tell him we have a little furry surprise for him." Dumbledore said as Snape was finally caught and pummeled. Professor McGonagall left to fetch Hagrid.
The manticore, rage subsided walked cautiously towards Albus. "I'd give you to the Ministry but it's rather unfortunate that I don't trust them to deal expertly with you, old friend. Would you like to stay with our caretaker, I promise he is a nice man. If you don't like him you can devour him."
"That will be fine." The manticore said before turning to Snape. "Is that man a friend of yours."
"That would be our potions professor. He's a little ignorant when it comes to magical creatures."
"I've noticed." The manticore said. "I'd rather not devour a man with such ignorance."
"That's good. A lot of students would be upset if they were missing their potions professor."
RHAG
Hearing absurd tales of Professor Hagrid's teachings during her sister's third year, Astoria Greengrass had sacrificed her summer eager to help the Magical Creature's teacher gain some competence. The task was a chore as Professor Hagrid has taken in a firecrab by the name of Crabby.
It was late that evening Hagrid had dropped by the hut with a manticore that Astoria had never shrieked in surprise and horror.
"Professor Hagrid, you got another creature?"
"Not got, Professor Flitwick had a' nasty ol' scare with Scorpius here."
"Scorpius, Scorpius," Astoria tested it out on her tongue. "At least the name has a nice ring to it."
"I'm going to introduce em' to Crabby. I think they'd get along swell." Hagrid said leaving Astoria alone with the manticore.
"If you even think of brewing any sinister schemes around me, I will leave no evidence of you ever having been here. I'm certain if you ratted out to the Ministry there would be no evidence to imprison Hagrid for ever taking me in." The manticore said with sharp eyes.
"I'm not planning anything, that's a quality only my sister has." Astoria explained coldly.
Rubeus returned and brought the manticore to a stall where Crabby stood at the edge. It was shifting irritably.
RHAG
One afternoon, Astoria had dropped by the loo when the ghost of moaning myrtle appeared from her haunted stall.
"Do you mind?" She said irritably staring at the ugly girl with the round glasses.
"How's Hagrid doing?" Myrtle asked unperturbed by Astoria's behavior.
"He's been taking care of Scorpius and that firecrab."
Myrtle smiled slyly. "You're growing attached to one of his creatures, isn't you?"
Throughout the weeks, Astoria would help Hagrid clean the stalls and overtime she had grown attached to Scorpius.
One afternoon, Astoria had sown a stuffed manticore for the creature.
"Professor Hagrid, can you give this to Scorpius?" She asked.
"Of course."
After Astoria headed to her dormitory that night, Hagrid dropped by the stalls where Scorpius laid quietly and tossed the toy to him.
"I love the toy you brought me." Scorpius said.
"Astoria made it. It's a stuffed manticore."
"Tell her that while I thank her greatly, her sewing could use a little work." The manticore said.
RHAG
The next day Hagrid had recieved an invitation to the Ministry to celebrate Moody's service as an auror for over 50 years.
It was rather unlucky that Snape had arrived the following week a day after Hagrid had left to attend the invite. The professor was in St Mungos the week most of the Hogwart's staff had recieved invitations. Each had their unique way of arriving to the Ministry. Hagrid took the motorbike sporting his new fingerless blackgloves.
Albus Dumbledore had assigned him to watch the school. Meanwhile Astoria would always drop by and feed Scorpius and Crabby for Hagrid.
During the first day of the invite, Cornelius Fudge walked up to a podium in front of a room within the Ministry.
"Dawlish, would you mind helping serve champagne to all of the guests." Fudge said to the auror on the side before he stiffled his cough.
"Good Afternoon, I'm glad you're all here, I'd like to commemorate a toast to Mr Moody who has been serving the Auror Department for over 50 years."
Hagrid drunk his glass. "t's some mighty fine liquor."
One day, Filch had been creeping by when he saw a shattered window. The broken glass completely littered the floor.
"Professor, professor Snape," Filch knocked frantically on the door of the potions master's office.
"What is it, Argus?" Snape asked menacingly peering from his door with black robes and slick hair in slight disarray.
"Someone's broken a window." Argus replied.
Quickly Snape ran with Filch eager to check out the window.
"GRRROOOAAAAAARRRR!"
"Looks like it's time for round two, you evil mantifur." Snape smirked evilly and began to look around for the creature.
"I think you mean manticore. Careful, professor. If you die, I won't have anyone alive to save my own skin." Filch said.
Snape gave Filch a sharp gaze before creeping around trying to spot the creature.
Eventually he spotted bloody footprints that lead to a small broom cupboard that was opened a smidgen.
Snape opened it. "GGGRRRRROOOOOAAAAAARRRRR!"
Snape screamed closing the door and backing away frantically.
Filch began to snicker. "Scared professor? Where's your bravery now?"
"That creature is a menace." Snape uttered flabbergasted.
It was due to these circumstances, Snape had been able to get a quick message to Dumbledore informing Hagrid to place the creature back into the stables.
RHAG
Astoria caught Hagrid the next day installing barred windows.
"What are you doing, Professor Hagrid."
"Professor Snape wants to me to install barred windows. He doesn't want Scorpius roaming through the castle."
"But he's not even dangerous. Surely Snape can reconsider."
"Snape hasn't forgiven Scorpius. The manticore had apparently done something awful to the man."
Several months passed and it was a baffling surprise when Astoria had recieved an owl informing her that Scorpius had babies.
Astoria quickly engulfed her breakfast and ran to the hut. Inside she could see, sure enough Scorpius had young.
"How could this be? You're a male manticore right?" Astoria asked baffled.
"You've assumed alot."
"Hagrid calls you Scorpius so I thought you were a male manticore."
"Hagrid doesn't exactly have the sharpest eyes and I never said that I was a male so you shouldn't assume." Scorpius said.
"How did you get pregnant?"
"Crabby, he's really my kind of man. Strong and quiet."
"You don't mind that he's a more lower grade species than you?"
"Well, humans don't exactly hold great conversations themselves."
"What are their names, Hagrid?" Astoria asked the professor.
"I haven't named them yet. Never tried interbreeding a manticore and a firecrab before."
"Looks like a new species."
One of the newly hatched young had set it's stinger into Hagrid's finger as he tried to reach for one.
"Blast-ended Skrewt!" Hagrid winced as his finger began to bleed and he ran off to wrap it in bandages.
RHAG
It was inevitable that the Ministry had caught on to Hagrid housing a manticore in his home.
Several ministry officials dropped by the hut.
"Scorpius, the Ministry is here, they are to rehabitate you." Hagrid said sniffling in his handkerchief.
"Don't cry, Hagrid. Take care of my young for me."
Astoria witnessed this as she walked from the castle and ran towards Professor Hagrid.
"You can't let them take Scorpius, Professor Hagrid. You just can't."
"It's beyond my control, Miss Greengrass."
Astoria ran towards the caged manticore and waved as the threstrals dragged the carriage away.
"I'll miss you, Scorpius." Astoria said, tears falling down her eyes.
Thus my friends is the reason Astoria named her son years later, Scorpius.
Fin