This story was inspired by a tumblr post,
sadly I cannot link anything here so if you want to see the post please search for this story in AO3 I linked it there!

Pacing up and down, up and down terrified eyes, wide, unfocused up and down, up and down his world a mere blur up and down, up and down his steps wide and fast up and down, up and down his heart pounding to his ears up and down, up and down the white noises cutting the thin air up and down, up and down and then stop.

"Matsuoka-san? Are you Matsuoka Rin-san? " red eyes tried to refocus on a petite, feminine face.

"Y-Yes." His hoarse voice cracked.

"We... I mean the doctor in charge wishes to talk to you." Her voice small, so small and fragile, his ears barely heard it.

"Y-Yes." The repeating of this word killed him inside, yes and yes and yes while he listened and listened and listened.

He nodded again and again. The time he had spent waiting here was just filled with this. Yes and yes, nodding and nodding, listening and listening. Nothing changed, nothing really mattered. Just the clock which ticked on and on unrestingly, unforgiving, showing him each second of his far too long wait.

"Follow me please."

"Yes." He clenched his eyes shut then opened them again, he was trying to focus, trying to return to reality.

The little steps of the lady lead away, through corridors. Here a door there a door, rooms and rooms, white walls and green sterile looking sanitizers. Rin walked behind her, his steps far wider, his walk by far stiffer. Each step was a reminder to the cruel reality. He followed her long enough for the world around him to blur again, long enough for his eyes to get unfocused again, long enough to fall back into his thoughts.

Blue, blue, blue the colour of water, the colour of the sky, the colour of the sea. Blue you see everyday, everywhere, in rooms, in the sky, in the sea, in paintings and on buildings, just blue. Blue being the most soothing colour, it calms the minds of people and gives them a light feeling of a brisk wind. Yet Rin knew the other side of it, its darkest secret, that just showed when a storm rolled up, when a storm gave its thunderous growl.

Blue was so sweet yet the most bitter colour on the world. Blue was the sky, blue was the sea, blue was life and blue was death, blue was there everywhere and Rin had long ago fallen for this blue. First through swimming finding the never ending blue sea -a promise for eternities. And then the blue in a person's eyes, the blue which made him love swimming and the sea even more. Blue, just blue, yet it meant the world. The absence of blue would be painful and enraging Rin knew, Rin just knew.

"tsuoka-san... Matsuoka-san" Rin startled out of his thoughts and looked once again in that little face, down to the woman who had shown him the way. "We are here. The doctor will show up in a short while"

Rin nodded before the nurse left and then began to wait. Once again he was waiting, could just wait for the doctor to appear and talk to him. His eyes were on the door peering at it, concentrating on the gaping hole which was the only way out of this room and the only way in. His gaze was clawing at it, his mind trying to adjust to the still far too bright white of the walls, to the sun that shone in through the window and the bright blue sky. Behind the curtains there was certainly a bright day, a wonderful and beautiful day, full of laughs and happiness, yet the only thing Rin could do was wait in a cold white sterile room. No blue and no light, no sea and no life.

"Good morning, Matsuoka-san. I am Midorima Shintarou doctor in charge of this case. Your friend is still in surgery and I have to speak to you about some matters. But first you may want to inform other acquaintances of Nanase-san. You were the one accompanying him so I assumed that you are a friend yet I cannot say more about his condition as long as I did not speak to his parents."

Rin startled out of his thoughts, he had been looking at the door all the time, how hadn't he noticed the man entering. In front of him was a serious looking middle aged man. His previously green hair was shimmering with grey hair strands in between. There was no sympathy or empathy in the man's voice as he spoke up again.

"It is certainly important to tell us the number of your friend's parents. We need someone to speak about Nanase-san's medical condition as soon as possible."

The voice of the man was deep and he spoke far too stiff, this was the only thing Rin could focus on. The information somehow bounced off, didn't reach his brain. He cleared his throat straightened up and tried to think what the man had said, what all of it really meant. He had asked for Haruka's parents, hadn't he? But Haruka was going to be ok, so he also could tell Rin.

"I... Can't you tell me? I-I ne-need to know." His voice was hoarse nearly unfamiliar to him.

"I have to apologize but that is not possible. First I have to speak to Nanase-san's parents about his conditions. You are not related to the patient and I am not authorized to tell you while Nanase-san's parents or any other relatives are absent."

Rin tried to hear, tried to understand, tried to make sense of all of this. He tried to but he couldn't. There was no sense, there were just the things this doctor told, and things he didn't. Rin had solely two options, he either complied or he didn't. But in this situation it would help Haruka more if he complied, wouldn't it?

"His... uh. His parents are abroad. B-But I can give you their number." Rin said weakly, he was feeling numb, so numb.

With wide eyes he recited the number of Haruka's parents from his memory. The numbness slowly, ever so slowly, overtook his whole body, rendering him deaf to the outer world and his body immobile. He couldn't hear, couldn't react, didn't even want to. As soon as the doctor left he felt a shiver run down his spine, he began to tremble, his knees felt weak and his heart pounded against his ribcage.

That numb feeling slowly spread over his limbs until he hadn't any feeling left in them. He clenched his fists but he couldn't feel his fingernails dig into his palm or how he brought his hand up to the level of his eyes. There was also a nausea in his stomach, he could barely withhold himself from throwing up. To ease his condition he first took some steps back, he wanted to sit down onto the bed so that he could get his whole body into control again, but he stumbled and fell to the ground. The world around him was spinning, his head hurting, a pulsing which felt like someone was trying to play his skull like a drum.

Why, why, why he thought to himself. Why, why, why, why had this have to happen? Why, why, why, why, when they finally figured out everything. Why, why, why, why. This word repeated over and over and over again in his mind. His breaths were erratic and he couldn't react to anything around him, hell, he couldn't even really recognise anything, couldn't feel anything beside the numbness of his body. The way his limbs felt heavier than lead, that he trembled like a leaf in autumn weather and his brain was pulsing like some kind of monster tried to rip apart his skull. Why he thought to himself, as tears slipped past his lashes, why then somehow everything darkened until his surroundings were pitch black, until he didn't feel anymore until -

~xoxoxoxooxoxoxox~

A sunny summer day, the sun was blazing down and warming the hearts of the people on the streets. Rin was standing at a crossing waiting for Haruka to arrive. They had planned this as soon as Rin had known about the weather forecast. He had planned a day outside. Them going together to swim, maybe even going to beach instead of an outdoors pool. It would be brilliant to pass some time with Haruka before Rin had to return to Australia again. There was nothing that could worsen the day and maybe this thought had been the reason for what happened next.

He greeted Haruka from afar, seeing the teen on the other side of the street. Rin's smile was genuine as he waited for the other to approach, so that they could go swim, go be together but then a loud shrieking sound, a crash and then everything turned silent. Rin's environment darkened until it was pitch black, until there was nothing left of the street, of the day, of the sun and the eternal blue sky.

"Haru?" He whispered

"Haru?" He called out

"Haru?!" He shouted

"Haru..." His knees buckled and he fell to the ground. Crying in the darkness all alone, silence filling the air around him, suffocating him.

The darkness unbearable as it was, turned even darker with each passing second in silence. His back was bent and his hands in his hair. He was crying uncontrollably on the ground. After some time Rin heard a sound, it was the soft song of flowing water. It was the sound it would make when it flowed down rocks and then finally met the ground underneath, to pool until it was a strong and beautiful pond. This soft purring sound didn't stop, its purring sounds were what slowly drew Rin into madness.

He cried out loud and shot up, beginning to run and search. He really wanted to find the source of this sound. Rin ran and ran and ran in the darkness until he stumbled and fell down into something wet. His clothes began to soak and the water rose and rose. He yelped and tried to stand up, but his limbs were frozen, he couldn't move, he couldn't even twitch a finger. He breathed erratically as he clawed at the straws of life, begged for the water to stop rising.

But it rose and rose, slowly entered his airways and flowed into his lungs. He croaked and coughed, cried and pled. The darkness was terrifying, not being able to do anything against the water that pooled around him was horrific. The merciless water still rose, wanting to kill him. The soft sounds from before were angry thunderous growls in his ears now. Rin whimpered, he didn't want to die like this. Pathetic not able to move, seeing nothing but darkness, he still had to see if Haruka was ok, if anything happened to him.

"Haru..." the water filled his mouth so that the name was a mere gurgle that pooled out to the world.

Suddenly the ground under him began to break apart, first revealing a sharp painful light through its cracks but then the ground shattered into pieces until Rin was falling through. The light was so bright it hurt his eyes, yet he refused to close them, he wanted to bath in this brightness, the darkness before had been terrifying, had been suffocating. But this brightness was standing for life, wasn't it?

He waited for a hard impact but when he finally met the ground it wasn't hard. Because something lead him softly onto his feet until he was standing in a white room which was filled with light. The rays of sun were shining in and the blue sky was to see behind the grey jalousie. He was back at the hospital. Yes, the hospital, they were helping Haruka here. He would live, he woul-

"Don't be so sure, my dear friend!" Rin startled out of his thoughts and spun around abruptly, nearly knocking down a vase that was standing on a little table at the bed.

He looked to the intruder's direction. There was a young man sitting on the bed and staring up to him. He had red eyes which seemed to bore into Rin's very core. The man's white hair was uncombed and tousled all over his head. It looked like the man just woke up. He was wearing some kind of black overall with a red t-shirt underneath. Like a skilled acrobat he jumped down from the bed and landed swiftly on the ground. Then he approached Rin and just came to a halt directly in front of him. Leaning into the teen's personal space until they were nearly touching noses.

"Don't be so sure." He repeated his phrase but this time his voice was far deeper, sounding older than the man looked. After this the man stepped away from Rin and reached his hand over. "Don't you want to say hello to the miracle who will rescue your dearest love?" The man grinned as he offered his hand.

Rin looked at the offered hand and then to the man, rescue his dearest love? What on earth was this man babbling.

"Oh, I see, in denial! What a shame, what a shame!" The man said a tad too enthusiastically as he clapped his hands. "The ones in denial are the best ones." He grinned wider. "Let me try again. I-" there was a dramatic pause before he spoke on "- am here to offer you a deal!"

Rin looked perplexed to the man. A deal he said, a deal, what could a deal change at this point? Haruka was safe, Haruka was in a hospital to what kind of deal was this man referring.

"Oh man... Really... Why can't anyone get it when I'm saying it, I offer a deal. Every fucking time I have to explain it again. Do you know how unnerving that can get? To repeat your intent for the 100th time. Hello my friend. I am, let's say, a well meaning man in your dreams, who offers you the most awesome deal to rescue your lover! Every fucking time! Anyway I will repeat it for you. Just for you! So perk your ears and pay attention, you may like the deal!"

Rin was staring at the man dumbfounded, squinting his eyes. He couldn't believe how someone could be this lively in a hospital room.

"Now, now my young friend. I am a well meaning man in your dreams. I am here to rescue you and your dearest love from your misery. What were the names? Let's see." The man crammed a book out of his bag, Rin hadn't even seen him having that ridiculous red bag. " Rin Matsuoka aaaaaand Haruka Nanase. You are Rin, correct?" Rin nodded and stared towards the man. "Ok, then let's go on. I am here to help you and Haruka. You see the boy is in a deep, deep sleep right now and might die in every second."

Rin's eyes widened and then he shot forward, grabbing the man's shoulders "T-Tell me! How do you know? Why is he going to die? What is happening?!"

"Now, now, please let go of me and I will continue." Rin reluctantly let go and stared at the man. His eyes were wide and solely focused on the other. "Far better. Like I said Haruka might die in every passing second. The car must have been accelerating too much because the poor boy has several broken bones and a very, very bad concussion. They are still trying to stop the bleeding and to rescue that little bit what is left of the boy's brain. Reeeeaaally tragic, you see."

Rin's eyes widened before he leaped to the door. He needed to talk to the doctor's, needed to know more and get to know more. He just needed to see Haruka. But then suddenly he stopped, he couldn't move a single limb.

"Oh boy, why do they every time try to run to their beloved ones. Because of the kinds like you, I have to use more power than necessary. Listen boy. You are unconscious right now. Even if you went out there, there won't be anything except for the deep darkness, you left behind. So please just listen to me and stay were you are as soon as I let you go."

As Rin began to feel his limbs again, he moved them around testingly and as soon as he realised that he was in control of them he ran to the door, opened it. He didn't know what he was awaiting but saw really just what the man had told him, darkness. The pitch black that had barely minutes ago suffocated him.

"My, my, and each time I get this reaction. Never do humans listen to what I say. Is it so much better to see yourself and crush your dreams? Anyway come in and close the door, it's getting cold."

Rin's shoulder slumped down in defeat before he closed the door and turned around -once again facing the man.

"Now that we have cleared that matter, may I proceed?" The man didn't even wait for an answer before he spoke on. "Anyway. I am here to offer you a deal. I will rescue Haruka for just a little payment, you see. It really is not much, if you consider the life of your beloved one."

"What do you want?" Rin asked, it slipped out of his mouth, though he didn't really intend to.

"I am so very pleased that you ask." The man smiled before he sat down onto the bed. "You see it's like this. I just want the experiences you made with Haruka, in exchange for his life! Awesome isn't it?" The man said and stood up. "Just memories for another life and a new chance for your beloved one!"

Rin watched the man as he approached him it was a small payment wasn't it? Just memories for Haruka's life "You mean you will just erase all my memory?" Rin asked and looked at the man.

"No, no, no! You will remember everything else. You can keep your identity and every other memory you have with other friends like... uhm... let's see." The man once again looked through his book. "Ah, here we have it! Friends like Sousuke and Makoto, even Rei you won't forget anything you experienced with them. I am no monster! It will just be your memories with Haruka and the boy itself. You see. Like your grand promise under the cherry tree, everybody will be there but Haruka -in your mind at least. Your matches against him will be erased too, even your feelings towards him will disappear. Just those. The remaining you can keep I have no use for them. But those memories and feelings are powerful and quite delicate in taste you see."

Rin's gaze turned towards the ground. His thoughts racing in his mind. He would forget Haruka, just him. Those memories in exchange for Haruka staying alive. It was an easy deal, it was so much better than letting Haruka die. Also he could meet him again, he could get to know him again, maybe even...

But there was a nagging sound in the back of his mind that told him to think about Haruka, to think about him. How he would react, how much it would hurt him. To remember how much it had hurt him when Rin had pushed him away after returning from Australia. Yet again the other had found his way back to his heart, broke down the wall that kept all of his feelings hidden. Rin stared on the ground, thought and thought.

"Boy I have not time for eternities each passing second Haruka's life might end and if he dies even I can't help you anymore. You either decide in the next seconds or it's too late. The boy really is just barely alive by now. The only remaining string to his life is sooooooo small." He showed a size between his index finger and thumb "Maybe even less. So decide now, yes or no?"

Rin's eyes widened after the man's words. The last seconds he either decided now or would stay silent forever. He gulped down the lump in his throat and nodded frantically."Please yes. Bu-But make him stay alive, p-please don't let him die." Rin pleaded.

The man shortly screwed up his face in distaste. "Yes, yes. I won't let him die. Now give me your memories."

I always appreciate critique.