Er, something tells me that Artemis is unique. That we all know, but perhaps he in unique within his family as well. How is it possible that the Fowl Family has no relations? No grandparents, no cousins, no sister and no aunts-twice-removed? Well. I think they do. Here is the skeleton.
Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
I no own,
You no sue!
"Artemis Dawhling, come down here!" Artemis' mother called him.
Artemis shut his computer and walked downstairs without a word. "Yes Mother?" he asked quietly, in his recently deepened voice.
"Arty! Baby, come here, give mama a hug!" she exclaimed.
Artemis kept quiet and hugged her tight.
"Now Mother, I did what you want, now tell me. What seems to be the problem?"
"Arty, why would you think there's a problem?" his mother said in a false wounded voice.
"Artemis, here's the deal. Every decade, the Fowl family holds a family reunion. We take turns amongst the family, so most of the time, we wait some hundred years before it's our turn. Well. It's our turn." His father intercepted.
Artemis wasn't daunted. "No problem. How big can the Fowl family be? I know we only have some 4 relatives in the whole of Ireland."
"Well, that's the thing. It's global. Fowls from all over the world will be coming here."
"I see. What is the magnitude of this, so-called reunion?" Artemis asked, feeling worried.
There was a momentary pause. His father looked shifty. He cleared his throat. "Seven hundred twenty six."
Artemis felt light headed. "Dear God save us all." He sighed and spun smartly on his heel.
"Artemis!" his father called. "Don't go!"
"Yes?" Artemis inquired.
"What do you feel?"
"Me? Do you really want to know?" his father nodded. "I wonder if the Fowls have anything else to do than reproduce?!" Artemis growled, sounding angry. "Now, if you don't mind. I have to go take care of a certain security problem. Might I inquire the date?"
"Er, yeah. About that. We want you to take on this responsibility to plan it. it is a rare honour. It's on 30 December."
"That's 2 weeks away." Artemis said, dryly, hoping it wouldn't get worse.
"We know."
Artemis made something that sounded like a groan. "If you want a well planned reunion, I suggest you leave me alone."
"Anything Arty!" His mother interrupted.
"Wonderful. Now, please do excuse me. I will be available on my handphone. Do not call me down for anything, unless someone's died, or there's a fire."
He walked away, wondering what he had done to deserve this.
Well? REVIEW OR DIE BY PINK HAMSTERS!!!
Love,
Lady Merlin.
P.S. Just to say, 726 isn't an unreasonable number. In some weddings, there are over a thousand people on the guest list!