[AN] I'm currently looking for a beta reader for this story so if you are interested PM me I'll be very happy.
Sakura was six years old when she realized that her mother will die one day. And this thought broke her heart. She cried for days, hiding under the cover of her bed, muffling her sobs with her hands. She couldn't stand being in the same room as her so she would sneak on her behind the kitchen's door when she was preparing dinner. Looking at her eyes, her smile while she was humming a melody.
When Mebuki embraced her for a hung, Sakura would buried her head in the crook of her neck, feeling the delicate skin with the top of her nose. She would tangled her finger with a mother's hair, liking the softness of it. She though that this was the place she wanted to be forever.
When Sasuke left Konoha she had terrible nightmares so she used to seek the presence of her mother during bed time. She didn't care if it was childish for her age. She just need it. Feeling her mother warm arms around her, hearing the regular heartbeat while resting her head on it soothed her.
'Mama?' They were lying in Sakura's bed. It was one of the night where Sakura couldn't find sleep. Mebuki was idly brushing her daughter's hair with her fingers.
'Yes sweetie?'
Sakura adjusted her head more comfortably on her mother's breasts. Loving the softness of it and the particular smell of her mother. She was wearing her favorite perfume and it almost brought tears in Sakura's eyes. But she couldn't show it so she lowered her head before speaking.
'Promise me you will never leave me.', she whispered in a little voice. Her mother stopped her stroking and looked down searching for her daughter's eyes. 'Why do you think I will ever leave you?', she retorted taken aback by the question. Sakura put her most innocent smile before facing her mother. 'Nothing, just...just promise me.' There was a sort of desperation in her voice. She knew what her mother will say. She knew it so well. But she wanted to hear it even though it was a lie. She needs it. She needs it to live. Mebuki smiled fondly at her and kissed the top of her head.
'I promise I will never leave you.'
Sakura lifted her little finger to her. 'Pinky promise?' Her mother softly laugh and interlaced her little finger with her daughter's. 'Pinky promise.', she promised with a smile.
That night Sakura didn't cry to sleep.
Years passed and life was busy. She was fifteen and she was angry. Angry at herself, at her mother and at this world so unfair. She hated herself for being so weak.
She tried to not think about it but one afternoon the thought reemerge. She tried to calm herself but failed miserably as she was walking on the busy street of the market place. She felt betrayed by the tears escaping her eyes in front of everyone and even more she felt absurd. Crying for something that did not happen yet. Crying because her mother would die but she was alive. So why, why, why did she felt this dreaded feeling of anguish in her chest?
This was ridiculous.
Heading back to her home she started having negative thoughts. Why can't her mother die already? At least she would have a valid reason to be so depress and miserable. She would be able to properly mourning her and moving on with her life. Not being stressed by it anymore.
That night she looked after the moon. Hands crossed in front of her mouth, she wished for her mother's death.
Sakura had a mirthless smile as her green eyes were looking at the sky above her. She was lying on the ground, the battle was over, Sasuke was back and Naruto alive.
'Stop smiling like that you scare me !' Ino was leaning over the wounded body of her best friend, hands already glowing a bright green. Sakura tried to lift her hands but Ino stoped her.
'Just don't move please.', Her voice cracks but she kept her focus on the wounds. 'Please just hold on while the help arrives. They shouldn't take too long. Stay with me a little more and you will be fine.'She intensified her glow while tears start dropping on Sakura ripped body.
'Yes you would be fine, just hold on.' Ino tried to convince herself with those words, repeating them over and over again like a mantra while her hands started becoming more red than ever.
Sakura smiled at her before looking back to the sky. It was late in the afternoon and the summer air was caressing her face. She thought of the cruel twist of irony that her life was. After all her mother never lied, she kept her promise.
A twisted smile crossed her lips as tears escaped her eyes and started forming a bloody pattern on her cheeks. Perhaps it was the cruel fate of the child wishing the death of the mother, she thought.
Her mother didn't leave her but…
Her vision started blurred, the blue of the sky darkened and her head felt lighter. She sensed a warm hand caressing her forehead. Moving her bangs to the side. She pictured her loving mother's smile, she could even smell her scent. And that eased some of her pain.
Like her mother did during her nightmares darkness embraced her. Sakura could feel her mother's ghostly hug as she welcomed this darkness. She was back at the night of their promise. And she thought that she never wanted to lost this feeling of safety and peace ever again so she closed her eyes and pushed aside her worries. She was safe, her mother was here, her pain was gone.
She could rest a little bit more.
…she did.
[AN] A little note about why I choose to write about Mebuki (please don't read it if you are a little sensible I don't want to trigger something in you). So I'm constantly thinking about my mother's death, it's really something that plagued me in my everyday life, the waiting of the day that she will be gone, the feeling that I will have, will I be ok? will I be able to move on with my life? or it will be living hell... So much questions and it scares me and like Sakura in my story sometime I just wish that it's done so that I can just live without this thought. And one night I was talking with my friend about this day (great conversation isn't it? but sometime it helps to just talk about it although it is depressing) and I just start writing this os after and here we are.