"Danny, what the hell are you doing in here? It's Christmas Eve, buddy. Why aren't you at home?"
Steve had been on his way home when he'd passed his and Danny's future and still nameless restaurant and seen a dim light shining through the covered windows. Coming from work, he was still in cop mode, and the restaurant wasn't in the best of neighborhoods. He'd stalked into the building quietly, his gun at the ready, just to find Danny sitting on one of the bar stools nursing a bottle of beer next to the unfinished kitchen counter.
"You mean like being at home with my son? Preparing everything for Santa's arrival and baking cookies? Oh, and thanks for asking first and not shooting right away." Danny's voice oozed sarcasm.
Steve nodded while he stashed his gun away and made an apologetic gesture, "I told you I'm keeping an eye on the restaurant."
Danny took a swig from the bottle and barked out a harsh laugh, regretting it immediately as a stinging pain shot through his chest. He clenched his fist against the space where the bullet had hit him and squeezed his eyes shut.
"Fuck, that hurt."
In three long strides, Steve was at his side. He rested a solid hand on his shoulder, worry filling his dark blue eyes. "You okay, buddy?"
Opening only one eye, Danny peeked at Steve. "I'm doing great, babe, just fine. I swear."
A coughing fit hit the blonde detective even harder, negating his previous statement. "Shit," he managed to press out between clenched teeth. Steve supported him and held him upright until the fit was over. "Look, Danny, how about I give you a ride to the hospital?"
Danny shook his head vehemently and waved him off. "Not gonna happen, Steven," he said in a raspy voice as he was able to force some air into his lungs. "I just need my spray." He pointed haphazardly towards his jacket that hung on the ladder on the other side of the room.
Steve retrieved it for him, watching as Danny shook it a few times before he removed the cap. Placing the inhaler in his mouth, he quickly pressed the canister down twice. Within seconds, he felt relieved as clean air rushed into his lungs and the feeling of being choked subsided.
The whole time Steve was watching his friend with mixed emotions. In his (and the doctors') opinion, Danny should still be in the hospital, but the stubborn mule wanted out, ASAP. And he had been sloppy concerning his follow-up treatment. But who was Steve to judge? This was like looking into a mirror at times. The only medical help Danny had accepted was the spray, which wasn't surprising given the choking fits he'd had over the past few weeks. It was because his lung still wasn't working properly, but the doctors promised it would heal eventually.
Danny took another gulp from the beer. He almost spat out the contents when he saw the look on Steve's face. "As you joyfully reminded me, Steven, it's Christmas Eve. So why do you have Aneurysm Face?"
"You should be drinking lemonade or water, not beer," the taller man practically growled, his arms crossed defensively over his chest.
Danny gave him a sly smirk in return, "Come again?"
Steve opened his mouth, but Danny cut him short before he could utter a word, "You have the nerve to lecture me about my health and how Ishould behave? I'm not saying it's hypocritical, but it's fuckin' hypocritical."
Steve shrugged and rolled his eyes. "Yeah, I know. It's just I was the one who saved your sorry ass, I was the one who had to cut you open-."
"I know the dirty details by heart, Steven. No need for another trip down memory lane. How about you leave me be? You weren't invited to my little pity party."
Steve didn't move, though. He knew better than anybody what Danny was like when something was on his mind, and this little lash-out was the biggest clue of them all. He nudged Danny's upper arm playfully before leaning up against the unfinished counter, trying to pull off a nonchalance he didn't feel, "Buddy, why don't you tell me what's bugging you?"
The blonde detective stared at a point past Steve. Disgusted, he shoved the empty bottle aside. Even the beer tastes different, he thought morosely.
"Hey, Danno…talk to me...please."
Slowly Danny met his gaze, "Wow, the famous McGarrett Death Stare didn't work, so now you're pullin' the puppy dog eyes on me? Speakin' of death…" Danny sighed, but still held Steve's gaze. "You know that I…I mean when they had me on the table…I…I… Jesus fucking Christ, I can't even say it."
"You mean they had to resuscitate you," Steve softly said.
"Thank you. That sounds so much more pleasant than Detective Williams died at King's Hospital," Danny said embittered.
"Detective Williams died at…what?" Steve looked at him aghast.
Danny made a dismissive gesture, "Forget about it. I was just... Tani was taking over the task force and married to Junior, and Charlie got promoted to HPD. Gracie married Will. And our restaurant…? Man, our restaurant was doing great."
While Steve's jaw dropped to the floor, Danny just sat there with a wistful smile on his lips, eyeing the empty space around them.
A few seconds ticked by before Steve's ears processed what he just heard, "Danny…, you're sure you're okay?"
"Yeah. Great. Awesome."
The look on Steve's face spoke volumes.
As usual, Danny's hands were moving so fast as he kept on talking, Steve felt a small headache growing behind his eyes. "Oh, Steven, don't look at me like that. I'm fine, I promise. It's just…You know what they say when you die that you see the light. Or that you're suddenly engulfed by a ray of light that embraces you and... It's just when I died, there was nothing, nothing but eternal darkness, and I was freezing, or I thought I was freezing, but that would be ridiculous because I was dead and when you are dead…"
"DANNY!" Steve yelled, cutting him off mid-speech, "What the hell are you talking about, man?"
"Do you think the light at the end of the tunnel could be an oncoming freight train?"
When Steve's look stayed blank, and his jaw muscle started to tick, Danny knew he'd overdone it.
"Okay, listen. I know you think I'm losin' it here, and it sounds like a lot, but…but I got a look at the future and everything was great. I even saw us growing old…together. We were sitting on the lanai, and you told me that I'd missed a call from Clara. She decided to go to the academy, you know."
"Danny, who the fuck is Clara?"
"My-my granddaughter."
Steve blinked a few times then scrunched his face, "Your granddaughter, seriously?"
Steve couldn't help it anymore. He put the back of his hand against Danny's forehead, but Danny quickly slapped it away with a grimace.
"What the hell you think you're doing?"
"You're talking so much nonsense right now; I thought you might have a fever."
Danny pulled the corners of his mouth down, "So you are worried about me."
Steve threw his hands in the air, "Of course I'm worried about you, man. I've been worried about you since you got shot right in front of our eyes. The guy didn't even flinch, Danny. He just pulled the trigger…"
"I know that he just pulled the trigger, Steven, I know it because I was there. I saw him pointing the gun at me and then the muzzle exploded right in my face. BOOM." Danny emphasized the last word with his hands.
In the blink of an eye, Steve found himself back in the quarantine ward fighting for Danny's life, and his eyes dropped to the floor.
"You look like you've seen a ghost," Danny stated dryly.
"I know," came Steve's reply after a long, heavy pause. "Before I realized what had happened to you, it seemed like it was me lying there on the floor. It felt like I'd gotten shot on that airplane all over again."
An eerie silence filled the open, empty restaurant. It was Steve who got antsy and broke it first after he'd scratched the back of his head, "Why…why don't you tell me more about your look into the future, huh? Gimme some details, especially about the restaurant…"
Danny sat up straight, "You really want to know? I mean, it was just a fantasy, nothing…"
Steve nodded encouraging, "Yeah, yeah. Of course, man. Tell me all about it."
Steve habitually grabbed two beers from the nearby fridge, rolling his eyes at Danny's knowing smirk, and plopped down on the barstool next to him. Danny spoke excitedly about his glimpse into the future without missing a single detail.
When Danny was done talking, it wasn't long until Steve gave him an appreciating nod, "Well, I must say you put a helluva movie together." Thoughtfully he scratched his brow, "And Tani runs the task force and is married to Junior? Wow. You ever gonna tell them that?"
Danny shrugged as he fidgeted on the bar stool, feeling a bit uncomfortable now that he told Steve everything about his hallucinations. "You think I should…I mean tell them?"
Now it was Steve's turn to shrug, "It's on you, buddy. But trust me, after what you've told me, I will never look at them in the same way."
Danny huffed out a laugh, "Yeah, I know, tell me about it."
To save them from their awkward thoughts, Steve changed the subject, "What you told me about the restaurant…I hope…I really do hope it plays out that way. But we've still got a long way to go to get there; when I look around…I wish I could've been in your head to see it all coming to life."
"Babe, you already had your finger in me, that's as far as it goes. No messing around with my brain, okay? Are we clear?"
Steve gave him a broad grin as he twisted on the stool towards his friend, their knees slight bumping, "You mentioned that we kind of lived together in my house, right?"
"Just a guess," Danny said. His ears flushed red at the intense look that had come over his best friend's face. He'd had trouble deciphering this particular face over the years and now was no different.
"Okay," was all that Steve said, a goofy grin playing on his lips. "Anything else you wanna tell me, Danno?" he teased.
Danny swallowed and sat up straight. His face took on a serious look, and the grin disappeared from Steve's face. Danny took a deep breath and spoke quietly, "Maybe one more thing… Thank you… Thank you for having my back throughout this nightmare. And in case you thought you still owed me anything for giving you a part of my liver, we're even."
Steve couldn't help but started to laugh.
"What's the matter with you? Are you laughing at me or about me?"
"It's just, I said the same thing when I put my finger…you know. Did you hear me?"
Danny shook his head, "Nope, I must've been in limbo around that time. But hey, you know what they say about great minds thinking alike."
Steve frowned, "Who the hell are you and where is my partner?"
Danny made a dismissive gesture, "Yeah, right. I must have suffered some brain damage because all of a sudden I'm such a nice guy who's very proud to have a partner like you and a great team and friends…" His voice trailed off.
Danny got up from the bar stool and started wandering around.
"What?" Steve asked. Sometimes, having a deep conversation with Danny felt like pulling teeth.
Danny ran his fingers through his hair, "Since the day I graduated from the police academy, Steve, every damn day since…my biggest fear hasn't been that I'm gonna be killed on the job, but that-that I would get killed and end up dead in an alley somewhere, all by myself. And when I died on that table and was surrounded by darkness, I thought my worst nightmare had come true."
Tears stung in his eyes when he turned around to face Steve.
"But at the same time, I-I was ready to let it all go, to let it happen. I mean, I was ready to die because I was just so done fighting. Fighting Rachel, fighting with you, just…. I have no explanation for it, and I don't know how you did it, but right there in front of me, in the darkness, I heard you calling my name over and over and over again. And I knew in my gut that…at least one last time, I had to listen to you, so…I started to follow your voice. If it wasn't for you calling my name, I'm not sure we'd be having this conversation right now."
Steve closed the distance between them and pulled Danny in a hearty embrace. His arms looped over Danny's shoulders, and the shorter man wrapped his arms tightly around Steve's waist, pressing his face into the soft cotton of Steve's t-shirt. He felt the panic that had been clawing through his chest recede as Steve's lips ghosted over his forehead. Steve slowly leaned down and whispered in Danny's ear, "I love you, Danny."
"I love you, too, Steven," Danny's voice cracked.
123456
Later that evening, Steve decided to pay a short visit to Danny and Charlie. He knew where Danny hid his spare house key, so he quickly unlocked the door and put the key back in its place under the rock next to the door. As he crossed into the house, his nostrils were hit with the wonderful scent of freshly baked cookies. His stomach started to growl, and he quickly realized that he hadn't eaten a bite since breakfast.
Danny and Charlie were nowhere to be seen, but he heard a murmur from Charlie's room. A knowing smile showed on his lips. Danny had kept the promise he'd given him when they'd left the restaurant and told Charlie a story. When he went into the living room, he passed the source of the wonderful scent, a plate with cookies. Eagerly he took all the cookies in his hand and started stuffing one after another into his mouth. And because cookies never went without milk, he went over to the fridge and helped himself.
Eventually, Danny emerged from his son's bedroom, and Steve couldn't help but smirk when Danny started ranting about the cookies in his best friend's hand. Danny continued on and on about how he'd baked the cookies himself, that said cookies were for Santa and not for an animal like him. When Steve tried to argue that Santa would actually be guilty of a home invasion if he'd gotten to the cookies, Danny had merely countered with the fact that Steve himself had broken in to get to those cookies. Steve denied straightforward that he'd committed any crime, considering he had access to a key. They kept on arguing until Steve had shoved the last cookie from the plate into his mouth and emptied the glass of milk in one big gulp.
Danny glared daggers at him. "Burp and I kill you," he threatened Steve.
"Why in the hell would I burp?"
"Because you always do after you've finished a meal. You burp like a freakin' Neanderthal!"
"If you say so," Steve said while picking crumbs of cookies from his shirt to stuff them into his mouth.
Danny sat next to him, watched him, then rolled his eyes and shook his head. They sat there for a while in silence. Steve had gone very quiet. Danny even thought he'd fallen asleep. But he hadn't.
"Hey, babe, you want more cookies or milk?" Danny said because he felt a pang of guilt for harassing Steve over eating a plate of cookies that were meant for an invisible Santa.
Steve sat there, his head resting on the couch, his eyes on the ceiling where the colorful lights of the Christmas tree were dancing a bizarre shadowy dance.
Steve's voice made Danny jump when he suddenly said, "Danno, I'm still not over everything you told me at the restaurant… I'm mulling it over in my head. And I really love how these things are playing out, I swear, I do. Only trouble is…when I got home and realized that nobody was there waiting for me…"
"What about Junior and Eddie?" Danny asked facing him, pulling a knee up to his chest and letting his other leg hang over the couch. Steve sighed and said, "Tani invited them over."
"She invited Junior and Eddie over but not you?" Danny asked incredulously.
"Of course she invited me over, but then there you were, sitting in the restaurant, and we had this conversation, and it was getting later ..." It was only half the truth. After leaving the restaurant, Steve had called Tani, thanking her for the invitation but telling her that something unexpected had happened and that he was not going to make it. She'd been sorry but sent him her and Junior's Christmas greetings.
Yes, indeed something unexpected had happened. Danny Williams and his hallucinations about a common future and growing old together had happened, and it had filled a hole in Steve that the former SEAL had forgotten even existed.
Danny stirred him from his thoughts when he cleared his throat and nudged his calf with his hanging foot. McGarrett detected some insecurity when Danny started to speak, "Could it be…you know, I told you about hearing your voice… So, could it be that you came here because you followed my call? Well, I mean, I wasn't exactly calling you. But I was telling the little guy in there," he pointed at Charlie's room, "A goodnight story. Only, it wasn't a fairytale. I was telling him about the heist in the mall and how you saved the day, with all the great guys who were fighting for our country. It was more like a story about heroes and angels and miracles. But your name came up often, so I thought…"
"You thought I followed your call," Steve said playfully and winked at him. "And did you tell Charlie that miracles happen?" He wanted to know.
"Of course I did, how could I not? I mean…"
At that moment, Steve reached out to Danny and pulled him close for the second time that night. But this time it felt different, and Steve was determined never to let go.
"Danny Williams, tonight I realized that the biggest miracle that ever happened to me is you. And you were right…because when I look at you, I see my future. I see my lifelong partner. I see the person I love more than anybody else, the one person I know I'm gonna grow old with. You are, and always will be, the love of my life, my soulmate, my person."
When they finally pulled apart, both men were quiet. Danny felt like he'd swallowed something big that lodged in his chest. His wound started to burn. Steve's words echoed in his head like church bells, and he felt completely overwhelmed by what he just heard. He'd wondered about how it would turn out spending Christmas Eve alone with Charlie while Gracie was with Rachel and her new hubby. He'd even thought about heading to bed early since Charlie had fallen fast asleep after his "bedtime" story. And now he found himself sitting on the couch with Steve, his best friend, who had just opened up and told him a truth Danny knew he'd been holding in for a long, long time.
Agitated, Steve waited to see if Danny would throw him out of the house or…or if he would welcome him into his life, no boundaries, no lines, no doubts whatsoever about their bond ever ending.
Endless moments ticked by until Danny mustered all the courage he had and said, "It's not gonna be easy with me, Steve, but…I feel like you've known that since day one. You drive me crazy, and you make me lose my mind sometimes with how insane you can get on the job, but…when it's just us, or just us and the kids, I see the one person who'd never let me down, the one person I know I can count on to take care o' me, take care o' my kids, keep us safe and-and make us feel loved so unconditionally. Now come here, babe, because for tonight I am so done talking."
They ended up in another embrace and Danny threw himself on the McGarrett rollercoaster, well aware of the consequences that came with it. This time, it felt good and right. Because he knew, no matter what, Steve would be there for him to catch him at the end of the ride.
Notes:
A huge thank you to love2hulksmash who was my partner in crime on this one.