This was going to be difficult. It was going to be horribly difficult. In fact, it was going to be impossible. But he had to do it. He had to set limits. Or who knew what would happen?
"Simon. Come here. I need to talk to you," he said. People in the room looked scared. Very scared.
He led Simon off to the greenhouse. No one would be there.
Simon stood there, fearing for his life, not knowing what to do. Jace slunk around him in that menacing way of his. Simon gulped.
"Well Simon. Let me tell you something. I don't like you. I don't like you at all."
"I think I--" Simon tried to say, but was cut off.
"Shut up weasel! You have no liberty here… Now as I was saying. I don't like you, but for some reason, your pathetic sliminess is attractive to Clary. She defends your honour every time I make a comment, so that is what I conclude."
Simon looked gratified.
"Now see here. My sister is a special person, a treasure. She liked me, she liked me a lot. That was not to say she didn't like you. She liked you almost as much as she liked be. She still does. So, if you hurt her in any way, I will find you. I will hunt you down, and make you wish you had died the day you were born. And remember. I am capable of that. Trust me, nothing will make me happier than taking out your eye, and making you watch yourself eat it, then slicing you up into shreds so small even a microscope couldn't see you." He paused, thinking. "And then feeding you to something. Like a piranha. Or a shark. Or maybe, even an earthworm farm. Or are earthworms vegetarian? Hmmm. Maybe I should make you a werewolf. Interesting idea. Sufferance for life. I like it." Now Jace sounded distinctly cheerful.
"Err, okay. But do you really think I have a chance?" Simon asked.
Jace looked at him as if he were some species of insect. "Well, doi. Why else would I bother?"
"Because you seem to be in love with her." Simon said, frankly.
Jace froze. Simon knew he should have shut up.
Jace asked in a much gentler voice. "Is it really that obvious?"
"You mean you are?" Simon asked, stunned.
"Yeah. I love her so much it hurts, and I can't bear it anymore. I needed to tell you this to set limits for myself. I can't stand it anymore. I can't even look at her. Now go there and ask her out, so my life becomes a bit easier."
"Well, Jace, she's not going to go out with me."
"Why the hell not?" Jace asked furiously.
"Isn't it obvious? She's in love with you."
"Aw fck. What do I do Simon?"
"You're asking me?"
"Sure, rub it in." Jace said, sullenly.
"Fine, sorry. Look. As far as I know incest if defined as love/sex between siblings. Siblings are defined as people who both share blood, and have been raised together. Since your relationship doesn't fulfill both statements, you're not technically siblings. So, you loving her, can't be defined as incest. It's working on a thin line there, but hey, who cares?"
Jace ran a shaking hand through his hair. "Really?"
"Mmhmm," Simon said, hoping that this pain would get him to heaven.
"Thank you Simon." Jace said, before running off. It was the most sincere thing he had ever heard from Jace's mouth.
Simon sighed and sank to the floor. Well. His duty as best friend was over. He had better leave. He could ask Jace one favour before he left. Just one. He owed him that much.
Well? I own no one. Review of die by donuts. And little pink hippogriffs. Don't ask. Oh and the yellow umbrella of doom. Bwahahaha! lightning strikes
P.S. I'm telling you, none of the above about incest is true. It's made up with the friendly neighbour hood plot bunny. So there.