Disclaimer: I do not own anything.
Two years.
Two years had passed since Nishino had left for France; two years since he had graduated from Izumizaka high.
Two years since the end of his (mostly) happy, carefree days. Not to say that life now was harsh, but it certainly lacked the spark it once had.
Some days, Manaka missed the old life. He missed the perverted and foolish ways of Sotomura and Komiyama, the strictness of Sotomura's sister, Misuzu, and the antics of Hashimoto.
He missed, very, very much, the easy camaraderie with Satsuki. It had been exceedingly difficult for him to have to part with her, but it was something that had to be done, in order for both of them to move on.
Above all, he missed the connection he had shared with... Aya.
He reflected on the difference between the two of them now. Toujo was fulfilling her dream, even still in university, of being a best-selling author, whose stories would touch the hearts millions.
Yet what of him, Manaka Junpei?
He was but a lowly construction worker, scrimping and saving for his annual trip to some exotic, faraway location, to continue the filming of his maiden work.
The gulf between them couldn't have been greater.
He was sure that these people were still his friends, for the bonds that they had forged would surely be able to stand the test of time and separation. Yet, some days he felt so distant from them, that he wondered if they would even recognize him if they met someday.
His phone rang, startling him out of his reflections.
"Hello? Is this Manaka-kun?"
A warm, gentle voice came across the line. It was exceeding familiar, and yet different at the same time. For a moment, he found it hard to recognize, but really, it was impossible for Manaka to ever forget that voice.
Toujo was calling him.
"Hello… Aya?"
Well, he had to make sure, didn't he? It would be utterly embarrassing if he went through the entire conversation mistaking the caller for someone else.
"Ah yes, Manaka-kun. You're correct, it is me."
Manaka let out the breath he had been holding.
"Well… hello, Aya. Is anything the matter?"
The voice seemed to hesitate.
"I… I know this is sudden, but if it is not too much trouble, could I ask you out for dinner tonight?"
Manaka was startled. He wondered what she could possibly want with him for asking him out to dinner out of the blue.
His heart started to beat faster. She couldn't possibly…
But he didn't really even have to think about it. Toujo was his friend, no matter what, and he would gladly accompany her to dinner. There was no reason why he shouldn't anyway… right?
"Sure! Where shall we have dinner?" He tried not to sound too affected.
"Ah… I'm sure you have heard of the new restaurant that recently opened in Izumizaka… it's quite close to Izumizaka theatre."
Manaka had heard of it. The place was a pretty fine restaurant; just thinking of paying for it burnt a hole in his pocket. That, however, wasn't the most important thing. The place also had a reputation for being popular with couples, so if he and Toujo were spotted there, it would look exactly as if they were one…
"Ah, sure, I've heard of it. What time then?"
"Will 7 o'clock be fine with you?"
"That's fine. I'll see you there then!"
"Ah… see you there then!"
The line went dead.
I wonder what Aya is thinking… calling me out to a place like that…
As he walked, Manaka thought about what she wanted with him.
Really, why did I instantly connect this invitation with… there's really no reason for it. I suppose she just wants to catch up on old times… could she have been having the same thoughts I had this morning…?
Manaka thought about their film club again. It seemed that recently, all his thoughts had all been redirected towards the film club, towards his old friends.
Perhaps, just perhaps, all the loneliness was finally catching up with him.
Our group has grown so distant… even though we all live so near, and Izumizaka isn't that far away either… hey… maybe… she invited the entire group? But… she didn't mention anything about the rest… I guess not.
And before he knew it, he had reached the restaurant.
Ah, its only 6:45… should I enter first and wait inside, or do I stand here and wait?
Again, his phone rang, pulling him out of his thoughts. He checked the number.
"Aya?"
"Um… Manaka-kun, I'm going to be running late, so if you don't mind, could you go into the restaurant first and wait for me? There's a reservation under my name."
"Ah… right. Sure. I'll wait for you inside."
"Ok then… thanks, I've got to go; I'll meet you there soon."
Toujo hung up.
"Well, I guess that's one problem solved."
Manaka went up to the entrance.
"Hello Sir, do you have a reservation?"
"Ah yes, it's under the name Aya Toujo."
"Please give me a moment… ah yes, please follow me."
As Manaka was led into the restaurant, he looked around at other diners. What he saw made him uncomfortable. People certainly weren't joking when they said that this place was exclusively (somewhat) for couples…
Manaka took a seat at the table he was directed to, and waited.
He didn't have to wait long.
Not long after he had taken his seat, he saw somebody wearing a pair of glasses walking through the restaurant. To others, perhaps the glasses might have appeared rather non-descript and bordering on the ugly; to Manaka, they brought back memories that suddenly made him uncomfortable sitting at the table.
Aya Toujo, looking very much unlike how he had last seen her, sat down opposite him, and smiled.
"Hello, Manaka-kun. I hope I'm not too late."
"Ah, no, of course not; I've only just arrived myself."
"Ah, I'm glad I didn't have you wait long… I was the one who asked you out in the first place..."
The glasses instantly jolted him back to his middle school days, when he had first fallen, very, very much, in love with her. She wasn't regarded as pretty then, but her kindness, her warmth, had simply made him want to ditch the beautiful Nishino for her. It wasn't exactly the same as it was then, but seeing her suddenly, like this, made his feel very twisted indeed.
It was evident she caught him staring.
"I'm sorry; I had to wear these glasses because I had lost my contact lenses…"
She smiled again, and his heart fluttered. It was exactly this that had made him so conflicted, and it was exactly this that made the situation all the more dangerous.
He wanted to disappear. Any much more of this and he would find it difficult to walk away. Any more of this and he would want to forget Nishino, forget that he had ever pledged himself to her, forget that he had rejected Toujo. He knew very well that he was weak, that he was indecisive, that his lack of conviction had tortured all four of them, including Satsuki, back in high school.
He tried to snap himself out of it.
Stop this, Manaka! Even if you wanted to do this, she'll never agree with it! You've rejected her once, and she's moved on! Don't try to hurt her like this! Don't lose her friendship over something stupid like this! She didn't ask you out just for you to do something THAT stupid!
Somehow, amid all the thoughts running through his head, he managed to place his order while Toujo was considering hers. In the end, she simply took whatever he had ordered.
"It seems as though we have the same tastes, Manaka-kun!"
"Uh… yeah, that's great…!" He didn't really know what to say, since he had picked something random in the middle of the menu.
They fell silent. Neither of them knew what to say next. An awkward air was threatening to descend over them.
"Ah… um, so, what have you been doing recently, Manaka-kun?"
"Ah, well, I haven't really been doing anything of note… I'm still working with the same construction company I've worked in since I came out of high school… I'm saving up to ah… see the world, and film different portions of my next film while I'm at it."
"Wow…that sounds like a great undertaking!"
"I think so too! I'm moving away from the films that we used to shoot, the films that required a storyline; rather, the new film I'm making is more like a documentary. It's a little more challenging, since I don't have a rigid framework to work within."
Toujo's smile seemed to dim a little at his statement.
Manaka, however thick he was, didn't miss it.
Crap! That came out wrong! I sounded as if I thought that all her help with coming out with storylines in the past was restricting me!
"Is… that so… that's good for you, Manaka-kun. Expanding your repertoire of skills is great for your future as a great director!"
"Uh… Aya, I don't mean that I'm completely giving up on the kind of films we used to make…"
He wanted to mention that he would never forget his promise for her novel in middle school, but he couldn't find anything to say. Not when he couldn't completely reassure her.
"Ah… I see…"
Manaka was miserable. How could he have screwed everything up so horribly right at the start? It wasn't even a date, yet he was treating it as one, and messing up everything that he was thinking and saying.
Thankfully, before he could open his mouth and stick his foot in again, the food arrived.
Taking the chance presented to him by the distraction of food, Manaka decided to shift the focus from him towards her.
"Uh… so, tell me about your time in Keio University… is university fun? Ah, what am I saying… it's got to be fun, at least better than being at my job! Ha-ha!"
Toujo paused for a moment.
"Well… university isn't really much different from high school really… I'm still in the literature club… and well… it's really all just the same…"
"Ah! I remember than Amachi-kun went to Keio as well right? How's he doing? Is he still chasing after you as he did back then?"
She stared at him for a moment, looked down, opened her mouth as if to say something, but paused and set down her utensils.
Oh no... was she offended? Oh no…Why?
"Manaka-kun… I'll cut straight to it and tell you why I wanted to see you today…"
No! Don't tell me she's getting married or something! Wait, I should be feeling happy for her, but why… why do I feel so empty? NO! I CAN'T DO THIS! If she's found her happiness, then I should congratulate her!
She looked up at him and smiled the most breathtaking smile that he had ever seen. He felt elated, but at the same time, had a sinking feeling as to what it signified.
"Manaka-kun… I… I… still like you very much… I know it's very wrong of me to do this while Nishino is away… but would you reconsider... again... going out… with… me?"
Manaka felt as though he was hit by a rock.
This was completely contrary to what he had thought was going to happen, and so eerily similar to what he had been originally thinking that he wondered if she had read his thoughts and decided to play along with it.
"I…"
Toujo looked down. "I know it's very wrong… but I really… do… still love you very, very much… I just couldn't let go of what we had shared… I know you probably don't reciprocate my feelings… but I felt I just had to say this… a sort of a last chance perhaps…"
She looked up, and he could see tears in her eyes. He knew, that she was trying, very, very hard not to break down in front of him. His chest felt constricted. He wanted to tell her that he still carried feelings for her, but he just couldn't bring himself to say anything.
She looked lost.
"I… I understand. I'm sorry, but I…"
She called for a waiter.
"Excuse me… I'll like the bill please."
She turned back to him and smiled.
"I'm sorry, but I don't think I can continue with this… I've… already... said what I wanted to say…"
He knew that she was going to run at any moment. He had to say something now, before she left and it all became way too late.
"I… I still like you, Aya."
It was her turn to freeze.
"But… I don't think that it is right for me to act on those feelings anymore… Nishino isn't here; it wouldn't be fair to her if we had a relationship while she was away…"
"… Does that mean you'll consider… when she returns?
"I… don't know. I really don't know anymore… I know this isn't what you want to hear, but I can't make any promises…"
The waiter returned with the bill.
Manaka insisted on picking up the tab. They had hardly touched the food, but Manaka wasn't feeling particularly hungry.
He turned to Toujo, who was wiping at her eyes.
"Ah, I'm sorry… appearing all silly like this…"
"Well… shall we… walk?"
They were walking along the same path that they had taken two years ago.
As he walked, the memories of the time he had spent with Toujo came flooding back again. Not for the first time, he wondered if she was having thoughts similar to his.
He turned to her, and noticed that she seemed to be thinking hard about something.
They continued walking in silence.
As they walked past a bench, she suddenly stopped and tugged on his sleeve.
"Manaka-kun, if you don't mind… would you sit with me?"
She walked towards the bench, and Manaka followed.
As he sat down and looked around, he realized, with a sinking feeling, that this was where he had finally parted with Toujo after the misunderstanding caused by Yui.
"This place brings back memories... doesn't it?"
Yeah... and it's not just this bench... this entire place. It makes me remember how I've let you down back then... I'm sorry.
"Yeah... it makes me remember how you walked away without turning back... and I don't know whether I'm happy or sad that you didn't..."
"You know, back then, I had tried to control it, but I still cried as I walked away. I couldn't have let you seen my crying face... it would have been... embarrassing..."
Toujo turned towards Manaka. He didn't know whether it was the circumstances or whether it was because time had passed and the awkwardness had faded, but the things that neither of them would have said two years ago were suddenly flowing out as they sat on the bench.
"Even now, I don't think that I would react any differently. I still like you a lot, Manaka-kun, and I think that it's something that will never fade away... I..."
She fell silent.
Manaka smiled, but it held traces of regret.
"You know... if you had turned back at that time, I probably would have..."
He didn't want to say it. He didn't want to say that he would have betrayed Nishino after he had kissed her, and would give her up to be with Toujo.
"I think that somehow, deep down, I knew that, and that was why I didn't turn back..."
Toujo smiled at him, and, not for the first time, he realized how pretty she was.
"I'm sorry for all this... I've wasted your time today."
'It's okay, it's okay... I think that this had helped to get some things off my chest... some of the things that I had always wanted to say, but never found the courage to."
"Yeah... I think it's going to finally help me move on... even though I still have no idea how to..."
"Yeah... I know that you'll definitely find a better guy than me..."
Manaka turned towards Toujo.
"I'm sorry that I-"
Toujo leaned in and kissed him on the lips, cutting off anything that that he would have said.
She stood up from the bench.
"Now, that's something that I had always wanted to do... especially when you were lying on top of me back then."
Manaka touched his lips, then looked down.
"I'm... I'm sorry that I couldn't be the man you wanted..."
"You don't have to apologize for it... and you always werethe man I wanted..."
Manaka looked up.
Her smile, even marred by the tears flowing down her cheeks, dazzled him, and not for the first time, he fell in love with her.
"I love you, Manaka-kun, and I always will."
She turned and ran away.
Manaka stood up, intending to chase after the diminishing figure of Toujo, before sitting back down and slumping back into the seat.
He knew that he was doing exactly what he did two years ago.
Except that now, they had both moved on.
Him sitting on the bench, while she left, was no longer a mistake.
A/N: Wow, this is one of the biggest piles of crap I wrote. Please feel free to flame me.