Ruriem: Stan (feat Yurika)
Authored by: FLCO EX
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Legal Crap: I do not own anything that is Eminem or Nadesico. Although it's my idea for combine Eminem and Ruri as one. Anyway, I'm poor as usual so dun sue.
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A/N: First off, thank you for your reviews about Eminem parody. As for the request from the reviewers, I have thoughts about making a Lose Yourself parody but I have some difficulty trying to write it, especially using POD. But still I'll do my best on it. Expect a Lose Yourself by Ruriem on my next work. As for when, ......well......I dunno........whenever I feel like writing again.

And about my latest Ruriem installment, well...not much Nadesico nor POD content, however try to think of it as a AU story. I'm cutting the crap now, hope you enjoy this. Remember to review it after reading. Thnx!
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[Yurika]
Ramen's gone cold , I'm wonderin' why
Got out of bed at all
The shiny starlights at my window and I can't see at all
And even if I could , it would all be great
To put Akito's picture on my wall
It reminds me that it's not so bad, it's not so bad.

Ramen's gone cold , I'm wonderin' why
I got out of bed at all
The shiny starlights at my window and I can't see at all
And even if I could , it would all be great
To put Akito's picture on my wall
It reminds me that it's not so bad, it's not so bad.


[Stan]
Dear Ruri ,
I wrote you but you still ain't callin'
I left my e-mail, my handphone, and my home coordinate at the bottom
I sent two letters back in Autumn
You must not have got 'em
There probably was a problem at the warp machine or somethin'
Sometimes it screw up the address coordinate when I key 'em
But anyways , fuck it, what's been up girl, how's Hari Makibi ?
I just sign up as a military, I'm bout to be a soilder
If I got selected, guess where I'ma wanna go into?
I'mma going asign to Nadesico
I accidentally read H-doujinshi about you, I'm sorry
I had a friend who force me to read it no matter how much didn't want it
I know you probably hear this everyday , but I'm your biggest fan
I even got Nergal Chairman's e-mail so I can make spam
I got a full collection of Nadesico DVD and POD man
I like the shit you did with Heero and Relena too, that shit was phat
Anyways , I hope you get this man, hit me back , just to chat
Truly yours , your biggest fan
This is Stan

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
(Meanwhile, at Anime MTV Award at Earth. Ruri, along with 500 Ruri look-a-likes marching pass the roaring crowd and towards the stage...)

[Ruri]
...Houmei girls wave your pantyhose,
sing the chorus and it goes
I'm Ruriruri, yes I'm the real Ruri
All you other Ruriruris are just imitating
So won't the real Ruriruri please stand up,
please stand up, please stand up?...
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

[Yurika]
Ramen's gone cold , I'm wonderin' why
Got out of bed at all
The shiny starlights at my window and I can't see at all
And even if I could , it would all be great
To put Akito's picture on my wall
It reminds me that it's not so bad, it's not so bad.

(Few weeks later...)

[Stan]
Dear Ruri,
You still ain't called or wrote
I hope you have a chance
I ain't mad, I just think it's fucked up you don't answer fans
If you didn't want to talk to me outside your concert
You didn't have to but you could have signed an autograph for Matthew
That's my little brother man, he's only six years old
We waited in the blistering cold for you
For four hours and ya just said no
That's pretty shitty girl, you're like his fucking idol
He wants to be just like you man, he has higher IQ than I do
I ain't that mad though I just don't like bein' lied to
Remember when we met in Saturn , you said if I write you
You would write back
See, I'm just like you in a way
I never knew my parents neither
We're born on a test tube and parent are Holograms
I can relate to what you're sayin' in your songs
So when I have a shitty day, I drift away and put 'em on
Cause I don't really got shit else
So that shit helps when I'm depressed
I even got a tattoo with your name across the chest
Sometimes I even cut myself to prevent myself t peek at your H-doujinshi
It's like adrenaline , the pain is such a reminder for me
See, everything you say is real , and I respect you 'cause you tell it
Everyone think I'm mad 'cause I talk about you 24/7
But they don't know you like I know you Ruri , no one does
They don't know what it was like for people like us growing up
You've gotta call me girl
I'll be the biggest fan you'll ever lose
Sincerely yours ,
Stan
P.S. We should be together too

[Yurika]
Ramen's gone cold , I'm wonderin' why
Got out of bed at all
The shiny starlights at my window and I can't see at all
And even if I could , it would all be great
To put Akito's picture on my wall
It reminds me that it's not so bad, it's not so bad.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
(Meanwhile, at NERGAL HEAVY INDUSTRY Co. Ltd HQ, Chairman's Office...)

Ruri: What the fuck do you mean for me to tone down?

Akatsuki: Try to understand Miss Hoshino, all of your song are so.....valgur and violent. The Military knew you once work for us and are now complaining that Nergal is a company breeding valgur people and our sales are droping cos of that.

Ruri: Oh so I'm blame for this fucking shit!?

Akatsuki: Woah woah, calm down Hoshino, don't get so fucked up.

Ruri: Fucked up? (Takes out a gun) FUCK THIS! (BANG!)

Akatsuki: ARRRGGGH!!!!! MY ARM!!! YOU SHOT MY FUCKIN AR...

(BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! Click...click...click...)
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

(6 months later...)

[Stan]
Dear Ms. 'I'm too good to call or write my fans'
This'll be the last package I ever send your ass
It's been six months and still no word
I don't deserve it?
I know you got my last two letters , I fixed the warp machine and input the coord perfect .
So this is my message card I'm sending you. I hope you hear it
I'm in the ship right now, I'm doing warp 4 on the milkyway
Hey Ruri, "I just passed Aestivalis crash course...dare me to pilot?"
You know that anime by Gundam Seed Episode thirteen?
About that guy who could have saved that space shuttle from exploding?
But didn't ?
Then he saw it all as it reduce into piece?
That's kinda how this is
You could have rescued me from exploding
Now it's too late
I'm on a thousand downers now, I'm drowsy
And all I wanted was a lousy letter or a call
I hope you know I jacked off whenever I see your H-Doujinshi
I love you Ruri, we could have been together
Think about it
You ruined it now, I hope you can't sleep and you dream about it
And when you dream , I hope you can't sleep and you scream about it
I hope your conscious eats at you and you can't breathe without me
See Ruri, shut up twit, I'm try-na talk
Hey Ruri, that's my brother screaming in the room
But I didn't shoot him up, I just tied him up-side-down, see I ain't like you
'Cause if he got blood rush, he'll suffer more , and then he'll die too
Well , gotta go, I'm almost at the asteroid field now
Oh shit , I forgot , how am I supposed to send this shit out?

(A loud "MINA NO BAKAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA~~~~~~~~~~~!" was heard before the ship was crushed in the asteroid field)

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Yurika: (Applying make up) Hm hm hm hm hm...huh...? I'm on? Crap! (Grabs the mic)...*ahem*...
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

[Yurika]
Ramen's gone cold , I'm wonderin' why
Got out of bed at all
The shiny starlights at my window and I can't see at all
And even if I could , it would all be great
To put Akito's picture on my wall
It reminds me that it's not so bad, it's not so bad.

(3 weeks later...)

[Ruri]
Dear stan, I meant to write you sooner but I just been busy
You said you have the full collection of Nadesico, but what bout Gekigan 3?
Look , I'm really flattered you wanna work in Nadesico
And here's an autograph for your brother
I wrote it on a Starter cap
I'm sorry I didn't see you at the show , I must have missed you
Don't think I did that shit intentionally , just to diss you
But what's this shit bout you cutting your wrists too?
I say that shit just clownin' baka, come on, how fucked up are you?
You got some issues , Stan , I think you need some counselin'
To help your ass from bouncin' off the walls when you get down some
And what's this shit about us meant to be together ?
That type of shit'll make me not want us to meet each other.
I really think you should take a holiday
maybe you just need to treat yourself better
I hope you get to read this letter
I just hope it reaches you in time
Before you hurt yourself
I think that you'd be doin' just fine
If you'd relax a little
I'm glad that I inspire you, but Stan
Why are you so mad?
Try to understand that I do want you as a fan
I just don't want you to do some crazy shit
I seen this one shit on the news a couple weeks ago that made me sick
Some dude was drunk and drove his spaceship over in space
And had his brother tied up-side-down and and had trapped him in a room
And in the ship they found a tape but it didn't say who it was to
Come to think about it, his name was, it was you
Damn