Kuroshitsuji/Hetalia/Ouran High School Host club crossover.

Tamaki Suou was sitting in the corner, surrounded by mushrooms, like he usually was after Haruhi had rejected him. "She doesn't care about daddy. She'll never care about daddy." Tamaki sat there, muttering to himself about how 'daddy's little girl' didn't care about him, and how 'daddy' isn't loved, until he saw a pitch black shadow fall across his back, threatening to swallow him up. He slowly turned around, afraid of who the owner was of this ominous shadow. He then came face to face with Sebastian Michealis, the demon butler of the Phantomhive household.

"You are being quite foolish, Tamaki. How pitiful for someone of your age to be acting like this"

"….gawd! Please don't kill me! I'll give you the twins!"

"I would only kill you if my bocchan ordered me to."

"But, you can Still have the twins! You could do whatever you want with them!"

Honey sempai pop's up in the room. "Really, tama chan?

"I have no desire for obnoxious twins like them. Besides, their souls are quite disgraceful."

"Yeah, but you could use them to release certain… Tension, If you know what I mean."

Honey pops up again. "Wh-what do you mean, Tama chan?" "… I'll tell you when you get older"

"No, no, It's quite alright. My young master will more than suffice."

"Really? Have you two already… You know?"

This time, the one who pops up was Hungary, not Honey.

"Yessshhhh! Have you?

"… Perhaps"

Tamaki and Hungary's noses start bleeding, getting the crimson liquid all over the front of their shirts, and onto the marble floor.

"Oh my gawd! Could you get me a video of that? I would pay!" Tamaki Exclaims.

"Yeessss!" Hungary also exclaims, her hand flew to her nose, trying to cup the liquid before it ruined her clothes. Prussia walks into the room, his chicken, Gilbird, sitting on his shoulder.

What's going on you guys? Anything the awesome me should know?"

"Yeah! We're trying to pressure Sebby into giving us a Video tape of he and Ciel having sex!"

Prussia immediately turned as red as one of Romano's tomatoes, and Gilbird Fell to the floor, passed out from pure shock.

"I want one, too!"

Ciel walks through the door, His hair looking slightly ruffled, and his shirt was un tucked.

"Sebastian, what is the meaning of this? I didn't have my morning tea, and I'm not in the best of moods. Mei Rin had to get my tea, and it tasted like boiled grass."

Everyone, except Prussia, started shuffling their feet, and looking at the ground.

"The awesome me wanted a video of you and Sebastian making love!"

"… What?"

"Young master, we should probably just go home and ignore them-"

"No."

"Sigh"

"I am still a virgin, sirs."

Sebastian looked disappointed, looking down at his feet once again.

"Oh. So, you do not remember?… Pity."

"Remember what?"

"Sigh. Never mind."

"… Did you just call me sir? Did you? I am a girl, you bastard!" Hungary boomed"

"Aww! I don't get a video of Sebastian and Ciel having sex, and now the awesome me has to deal with Hungary! Just my day!

"… I'm just gonna go now. I'll just go bug Usami and Misaki." Tamaki sighed.

Usami and Misaki Sneezed simultaneously, causing them to stare at each other. "Weird" Said Usami.

"Sigh. How bothersome." Said Sebastian

Ciel rolled his eyes, a sigh escaping his mouth.

"If you can handle me, then you can handle this buffoon."

" I suppose you are right, bocchan."

Sebastian pulled Prussia and Hungary apart, since Hungary, needing someone to attack, was now trying to hit Prussia with her frying pan, which she always seems to pull out of nowhere.

"Calm down, you bloody wankers! Now, what was the question?" Ciel said in a huff

"They where wondering if they could get a video tape of us in bed, bochan."

Ciel twitched, as his face grew hot and began to take on the shade of a roma tomato.

"Absolutely not."

" I kind of liked the idea…" says Sebastian with a sad sigh.

"No. no, no, no, no, no! I am engaged, thank you very much."

"Pleeeaaassee?" Hungary whined.

"No!"

"… Please, Bochan?"

"D-don't you start too, Sebastian!"

"I'll give you whatever you want!" Hungary piped up

"Yeah! I'll get you some great Imported beer! Even if you are a little young…"

"…. A divorce with Elizabeth?" Ciel asked thoughtfully.

"Really? Bocchan, is this what you really want?"

"Absolutely. I was just about ready to strangle her with her own ribbons last week."

"You do know the consequences of doing this, right?

"Having sex with you would not be a consequence." Ciel whispered, his blush deepening.

"Yay!" Hungary, Tamaki, and Prussia exclaimed, all at the same time.

"J-just hurry up! The quicker we get this done, the quicker you perverts get your tapes. And one round. That's it."

"Okeydokey!" Hungary pulled out her cell phone, lightning fast, and dialed England's number.

"Arthur Kurkland speaking."

"Hey! Iggy! I was wondering if you could divorce someone for me, like, right now."

"groan. I thought I told you and that wanker not to call me that anymore! But, a divorce? I suppose… Who am I divorcing?"

"Ciel Phantomhive, and Elizabeth… something."

"Oh. Them. I suppose… but why?"

"That's for me to know and for you to find out! Remember? You owe me a favor. I told you I'd keep my mouth shut after I caught you and Alfred-"

"Ok, ok! I get it! My lord…"

"Thanks, Iggy!" she said, before hanging up. "It's all clear!" Ciel and Sebastian exchanged glances before leaving the room, and walked to the car, getting ready to do the one thing they had both been waiting for, for a very long time.

*Censored!* No sex for you!

*Later*

"Groan! My arse hurts… God, Sebastian! You could've gone easier on me!

"Stay still, Bocchan. Your hairs all messy."

"And who's fault is that?… At least that is done with."

Later, in music room three of Ouran high, Prussia, Hungary, Tamaki, Ciel and Sebastian, stood in the room, their eyes on their feet, and the silence was killing them.

" Here's your tapes, you bloody pervs. And if you ever tell anyone we made this deal, I'll send Sebastian after you." He said, his face calm as could be.

"Oh, I don't know if I can do that, Ciel. And I sent Austria information that I was here, both today and yesterday. So if Sebastian kills me, he and probably all of the U.N. will know." She said with a smirk.

"… Oh, god."

Poor Ciel! I feel so sorry for him. This story started out a text, and I couldn't stop laughing as I was re-reading it. Hope you enjoyed it! And thank you, otter chan! I owe you one!