Story Name: Never Who You Think You Are
Pen name: a collaboration between Sweetp-1 and faite-comme-moi
Pairing: Seth and Edward
Disclaimer: All characters and locations are the property of S. Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended.
Summary: Seth is unexpectedly faced with his teenage crush during a visit home. This time, Seth's eager to show Edward he's not the boy he was way back when.
He's only been home for a few hours, but it still feels a little odd. Seattle is his home now, too. The house where he spent his childhood looks the same, smells the same, and his Mom is most definitely the same.
She's fussing over them again, asking what Riley's favorite dish is, wondering if she can fix them a meal later. Riley is all smiles and polite conversation, but it's making Seth feel uncomfortable, like his mother is expecting more from this relationship than he is. It's not like he brought Riley home to "meet the parents," or anything; it was a spur of the moment decision to ask if he wanted to come along. Now that he's here, Seth is beginning to realize it might have been a mistake - at least where his mother is concerned.
"We're going out," he says. It sounds sharper than he intended, and he tries not to notice the look of disappointment on his mother's face.
"We are?" Riley asks. He doesn't seem to mind Sue's interest or her never-ending stream of questions, but Seth has had enough. There is no way he's going to spend the night watching his mother sizing up Riley as a potential son-in-law.
"Yeah. There's this place in town. I haven't been there in years - I thought we could go," he says, trying to make it sound much more exciting than going down to the local tavern for burgers and fries. "If you want to, that is?"
Riley agrees, as Seth knew he would, and Seth lets out a sigh of relief. He rolls his eyes as, in the background, he can hear his mother chattering something about "going out on a date" and "how sweet". It's like she didn't get the memo that he's not a kid at high school anymore.
Seth motions to Riley with his head, and they head upstairs to get changed. Really, Seth just wants to escape his Mom, who never used to seem so "present" - he knows she misses him, but still; he's used to having some personal space nowand her constant hovering is making him irritable.
When they get to Seth's room, Riley wastes no time. He shuts the door and pushes Seth up against it. "Taking me on a date?" he chuckles.
Seth grimaces. "I guess so." It sounds lame, but the way Riley's face lit up when he suggested it downstairs made something in his chest tighten. It's not like they haven't been out together back in Seattle, but usually they go with a group of friends. They have a comfortable sort of a friendship - with benefits, sometimes - and Seth wonders if asking Riley to come home with him has somehow altered the easy understanding they have. He's in his final year, he doesn't have time for a relationship - he needs his life simple and uncluttered by the demands of a lover. Still, a guy has needs, and sometimes going back to Riley's place and spending the day in bed is exactly what he needs. But, something more? Seth isn't sure he has the space in his life for something more permanent right now. He thought Riley understood that.
Riley is kissing his neck now, sliding his hands under Seth's shirt and pulling it over his head. Seth wants to protest - after all, his mother is right downstairs - but his cock is already stirring and Riley knows it. There's a smug look of satisfaction in Riley's eyes as he slides to his knees, undoing Seth's belt and deliberately teasing him through the thick denim fabric of his jeans.
Seth's palms are flat against the door, his fingers raking along the painted surface as he attempts to recapture his self-control. Riley is a man on a mission, though, having unfastened both belt and jeans in what is likely a Guinness World Record. When Riley begins to dry-blow Seth through his briefs, Seth's knees and will buckle simultaneously. Riley's eyes dance a thank-you, one strong hand helping Seth regain his balance as his other hand moves confidently along the base of Seth's cock. Riley quickly warms his hand against his jeans before plunging into the fly of Seth's briefs. His hand emerges with practiced ease, establishing a confident rhythm along the rigid shaft before slipping him between his lips. All resistance has evaporated; Seth is transfixed by the push/pull sensations punctuated by Riley's tongue. Gazing at Riley, on his knees for him in the room where he grew up, Seth feels profoundly affected. He's too caught up in the moment to analyze his feelings but he's certain this is something different. Something ...more?
He doesn't have time to dwell on it as Riley chooses that moment to take Seth deep down his throat. Riley laughs at Seth's struggle to stay silent. Of course, the vibrations his chuckles create only intensify Seth's urge to cry out. With a wink, Riley returns his hand to his friend's briefs, one finger pressing the sensitive skin behind his sac. That's all the nudge Seth needs and a second later he's filling Riley's throat with jizz.
Seth lets out a quiet groan of pleasure as he comes, his head pressed against the door behind him.
Riley releases him with a soft kiss to the tip of his cock. "Better?" He asks as he pulls himself to his feet and walks away with a smug, satisfied smile. He pulls off his own shirt and makes his way to a pile of luggage in the corner of the room.
Seth laughs. "Definitely." It's true; the anxious feeling in his gut is gone now, replaced by a warm, calming glow spreading down his limbs. He should probably apologize to his Mom, too, for being rude. Maybe let her make dinner for them tomorrow night.
Riley is pulling on a clean shirt. In the ceiling light's fluorescence his blond hair shimmers against the navy cloth. Seth admires the long, lean muscles of Riley's legs, the tight curve of his ass. Quickly, his thoughts turn to returning the favor when they return from dinner later. He's imagining Riley lying on his back on his childhood bed, his hands threaded through Seth's hair as he sucks and kisses. The sounds of ecstasy Riley makes when he comes. It's like Riley can feel his eyes on him and he glances over his shoulder, smiling as he catches Seth's intent gaze. Seth looks away quickly, pulling up his jeans and pretending to fuss with the crap that's littered all over his dresser.
They take Sue's car to the restaurant. Really, Sully's is a neighborhood tavern that also serves meals in the weekendsand Seth is somewhat comforted by the fact there won't be any candles on the table or snooty waiters.
It's a short drive, even when Seth takes the long route through main street. Little has changed in the four years he has been at College. There are a couple of new shops, but the town is much the same as when he left. It feels funny to see the places he used to frequent as a youth and view them now with the false sense of wisdom a few years away has given him. The street seems shorter, and if he's honest, quite a bit shabbier than he remembers. He suddenly wonders what Riley must think of his small town; all peeling paint and quaint shop fronts.
Riley doesn't seem put off by the lack of bright lights and department stores. Seth remembers he grew up in Colorado. He tries to recall the name of the town, but it escapes him. Seth finds himself thinking that maybe next semester break they can go back there for a vacation. It would be nice to see where Riley grew up.
The tavern is every bit as busy as Seth knew it would be. He feels measurably more relaxed here; being out with Riley in this venue is more in Seth's comfort zone. Much better than playing Twenty Questions with his mom in an otherwise silent house.
Despite the crowd, they have little trouble finding a table. Riley flashes Seth an excited smile as he seats himself at the wooden table. Seth is surprised to find himself pleased that Riley is enjoying himself, that he's so accepting of this little slice of small town culture.
Riley really is fun to be around he thinks to himself.
The menu is brief, written by hand on a chalkboard visible from their table.
"So, what's good here?" Riley asks, his lips at Seth's ear, ostensibly to be heard over the noise.
As Seth turns his head to answer, his lips pass gently over Riley's.
They're interrupted by a flat, uninterested voice asking, "Do you guys know what you want or do you need a few minutes?"
Riley pulls away far enough to snicker, "I know what I want, but you can bring us both a beer to start."
Seth shakes his head at Riley's bad joke, unable to suppress a laugh of his own. Turning his head to address their server, Seth's words die abruptly in his throat.
Seth is unexpectedly face to face with Edward Cullen.
All of the maturity and composure Seth has acquired at college desert him. He feels exactly like the teenager he was the last time he spoke to Edward.
There's no time for reverie, though, as Edward repeats his question. He's glancing around the room as he speaks, paying attention to everything except the table in front of him.
Seth manages to squeak a startled, "Edward?" before his throat forbids anything further. He's fairly certain that he's staring rudely, likely with an embarrassing look on his face, but his body seems to be frozen in the moment.
Now it's Edward's turn to startle, apparently confused at hearing his name. He narrows his eyes to scrutinize his patrons in the dim light. Seth waits expectantly for the recognition that never appears.
"It's Seth. Seth Clearwater."
Edward's head rocks backward as he connects the name and face before him, a slow grin adding much needed light to his features. "Leah's kid brother."
Seth blushes at the reminder that his only connection to Edward was through his sister. "Yeah, that's right. Wow! It's so unreal to see you here. Are you helping out before your set?"
It takes a minute for Edward to process Seth's words. He mumbles something which Seth later interprets as, "I'm not singing tonight." Then he cocks his head to the side, smirking back at Seth, "Are you even old enough to drink?"
Seth's chest constricts a bit, wondering if Edward is flirting with him. No, he quickly dismisses the thought; Edward was a natural flirt and didn't seem aware he was doing it most of the time.
Riley interrupts, "I know he's baby faced but, trust me; he wouldn't order liquor if he didn't have an ID."
Edward turns to regard Riley, as if he's just noticing him for the first time. "Wow. If I ask another question are you going to let him answer for himself?"
Instead of responding, Riley reaches to stroke Seth's hand resting near him on the table, never removing his eyes from Edward. He practically purrs, "Seth, aren't you going to introduce me to your friend?"
Seth hopes his groan is covered by the loud music. This is a whole new side of Riley, one that he could have done without. "Riley Biers, this is my friend Edward Cullen. We knew each other as teenagers."
Edward nods, but Riley doesn't say anything, he just moves closer to Seth, pressing his leg against Seth's knee.
Seth can hardly believe his eyes. Edward Cullen is the last person he expected to see in Forks this weekend. Last he'd heard from Leah, Edward was working on a second album after signing with an indie record label straight out of high school. Seth can't help but blush as he remembers what a huge crush he used to have on Edward.
"I thought you were in California?" he asks, trying to act cool and confident.
Edward looks pissed for a minute, but quickly schools his features into a look of disinterest. "Came home for a bit," he mutters into his notepad.
A tall girl with glasses bumps Edward's elbow as she passes, whispering, "Lucille is starting to get pissed, Edward. You better take their order and move on."
Food orders are rapidly placed. Seth watches Edward walk away, mesmerized by the sway of slim hips and firm ass. Edward Cullen had been his first, and longest lasting, crush. Leah had teased Seth frequently over his 'hero worship" for her friend. Seth knew his regard for Edward went well beyond admiration, though. He was pretty sure most people didn't have wet dreams starring their 'hero'. Edward had shown him it was okay, hell, desirable, to be different. The Edward Cullen Seth remembered didn't give a damn what anyone thought. He made his own rules, lived his own life and everyone wanted to be him.
Seth is dragged from his daydream by a raucous cough and his companion's fingers snapping in front of his nose.
"There you are!" Riley comments dryly. "I was suddenly alone in a room full of people."
Seth gives him a sheepish smile. "Sorry about that. I would have never expected to run into Edward, and here, of all places. He got a recording contract my freshman year of high school. Everyone figured that would be the last Forks would see of him."
The blond girl passes their table, dropping off their drinks en route. Riley prompts Seth to continue with a wave of his hand, "So...he's a musician?"
Seth nods over his beer bottle. "A singer. And guitarist. An absolutely amazing talent. Edward had a regular gig in this tiny dive in Port Angeles. He'd only been playing there a few months before they had to knock out a wall and expand the place, they would get so packed. His dad insisted Edward finish high school, said his music career would 'still be there' after his education. There was a kind of a feeding frenzy of folks competing to sign him. He was crazy about old school Blues, the guys who used music to vent their pain. Music critics credited him for reviving Blues in the Grunge generation."
Hearing a definite snort, Seth realizes he's been looking off in the distance again, lost in thought. Riley's still listening politely, if appearing a little bored.
"Wait; you've heard him. I have his CD at home. I always wondered why there wasn't another one..."
His friend is frowning in concentration, so Seth continues, "The CD's called Loving All Different Ways...by Kid Cullen."
Riley waves his hand in exasperation, "All that music you play sounds the same to me."
"I've never had anyone else's music effect me, move me so much. When The White Stripes toured through the area Jack White drove four hours to hear Edward play. I used to have a picture of the two of them."
Riley's expression is arch, his tone icy, "I had no idea you were such a groupie."
There was no question that groupie was not meant to be a compliment.
"I had no idea you could be such a possessive bitch." The words are out of
Seth's mouth before he has a moment to consider them. Riley's expression clearly shows the comment landed like a slap in the face.
Seth hurries to backpedal; he hadn't meant to sound so bitchy himself. The discussion is quickly dissolving into ugliness and he didn't really mean to hurt Riley's feelings. It feels like everything is spiraling out of control, but he has no idea why.
"I guess "that" explains why you listen to that ragtime minstrel crap," Riley says scornfully as he motions his head to the other side of the bar where Edward is taking orders from another table.
"Now you're just being mean. That music is the entire foundation for nearly every bit of music you hear today."
"Don't patronize me by saying you're only interested in his music. You have drool stains on your shirt and you made it clear that he just had to say the word and you'd lay back on the table and let him fuck you in front of God and everybody!" Riley's is becoming progressively more animated, his voice rising with every word.
Seth hisses through a forced smile, "Will you calm down and lower your voice? People are looking at us."
"Calm down? Calm down? Of course, by all means; I wouldn't want to cause a scene. Whatever would your long-lost friend think of you then?"
Riley lowers his voice nonetheless, visibly trying to diffuse his distress through deep, controlled breathing. His eyelids flutter rapidly a few times and Seth worries that his friend is trying to hold back tears.
A heavy, awkward silence descends over the table. Seth can't remember ever, during their entire friendship, feeling such fierce tension between them.
Still, Seth can't hold back the smile as Edward returns to their table with their meals. He's not certain if it's the food or Edward, but the tension has broken, at least for the moment. The burgers smell delicious, but Seth's stomach is churning with an odd mix of excitement and anger, and he no longer feels hungry. Edward gives Riley a forced smile before banging his plate down in front of him, the burger spilling over on its side. Riley glares at Edward, but his attention has turned to Seth.
"So...what are you up to these days?" he asks.
"College. U-Dub."
"What is it, like, your first year or something?"
Beside him, Riley snorts, scraping his fork across his plate noisily. "I'm in my last year." Seth says quietly.
"Jesus. Really?" Edward says, running his hand through his messy hair. "Wow. I guess...time flies and all that."
Now there's an awkward silence of a different sort. Seth wants to ask Edward how he is, and hear about how his music career is going - ask him what he's doing back in Forks, but he can almost feel Riley's glare, and he doesn't want anymore embarrassing outbursts.
Edward seems lost for words, too, and he fidgets with his notebook, shifting his weight from foot to foot.
"Listen, I have to get back to work before Lucille has my hide, but I'm off tomorrow night. Maybe we could catch up?"
Seth's answers almost immediately, "Yeah, sure; of course. That would be great, really great."
"Cool. You at home?" Edward asks as he tucks his order pad in the pocket of the grimy apron he's wearing.
"Yeah. At home. Do you need the number?" But Edward is already walking away, a nonchalant wave of his hand in their direction.
Seth sighs, unable to believe he has plans to spend tomorrow evening with Edward Cullen.
He only has time to pop one hot fry in his mouth before Riley lurches across the table to hiss, "Don't I get a say?"
The food may as well be paste in his mouth. In the several seconds it takes for Seth to clear his mouth enough to speak, his companion seems to become even more agitated. He tries desperately to use this short time to figure out the right thing to say here but comes up blank.
"What do you mean?" Seth asks warily. "I thought you said you wanted to meet some of my old friends?"
"I meant your old friends, not your old boyfriends." By this point, Riley's voice is shaking.
Seth shakes his head vigorously. Maybe he should have taken a little longer choosing his words. "We never..."
"Oh, don't give me that. What happened in the past hardly matters. I can see by the way you were looking at him. If you didn't fuck him then, you sure want to now."
"You're being totally ridiculous. We were just friends." Seth is studying his plate to avoid eye contact.
"Whatever. I might be ridiculous but I'm not going to sit around while you two make eyes at each all night like a third wheel..."
"Well...don't then," Seth says petulantly.
"Fine."
"Fine."
Riley pushes his plate across the table. Seth catches it just in time before it lands on the floor, scowling at Riley's childish behavior. This is exactly why he can't be bothered with a boyfriend. Relationships are more trouble than they are worth.
"Excuse me. I'm going to use the facilities," Riley announces, his now poised demeanor a stark contrast to the plate tossing of a few moments ago.
Seth shakes his head over Riley's antics and returns to picking at the food on his plate. He's quickly lost in speculation about tomorrow evening with Edward. He turns Edward's words over and over in his head: Maybe we could catch up. Seth is working hard to not read too much into Edward's statement. Still...does this mean that Edward finally sees Seth as a buddy? As someone he wants to know better? Seth's emotions are in an uproar, tested nearly to their limit between his hopes for Edward and diplomacy with Riley.
He glances up from his plate to find Riley standing beside the table, eyes full of hurt pride. Seth feels a deep stab of guilt; he has been daydreaming so hard that he has no idea how long Riley has been gone. Or how long he's been standing there, for that matter. Despite their disagreement a few minutes ago, Riley is certainly a close enough friend to deserve better. Seth opens his mouth to apologize when Riley raises a hand to silence him.
"I'm taking the 11:00 bus back to Seattle," Riley announces, his chin held high as he speaks. "It was nice of you to invite me home with you this weekend but I think it's best if I go."
"Riley, the bus doesn't even run here. You'd have to go all the way to Port Angeles for bus service."
Riley's tone is painstakingly patient as if he is explaining something obvious to a young child. "I understand that. The bartender lives in Port Angeles and was kind enough to offer me a ride. I bought my ticket on my phone so everything has been taken care of."
An unspoken I don't need this shit hangs in the air as Seth stares at Riley, his mouth hanging open. Riley's always been ballsy, always one to speak his mind, but Seth has never seen him so upset before. He can't believe he's just going to up and leave, over...whatever the hell it was that just happened between them.
Riley drops his guard an instant later, an uncharacteristic vulnerability evident in the set of his jaw and the shimmer of his eyes. "I was having a great time today. I thought we were having a great time. I was so surprised, but so excited, when you asked me to spend the weekend. Watching you flush and stammer over what's-his-name gave me a reality check, you know? I know we don't have any commitments to each other, but I think we're pretty great together. What I'm trying to say is that I value what we have here, Seth. But, more than anything else, I need to know that you value it, too."
Seth starts to ask him to change his mind, give them a chance to talk this out, but Riley cuts him off. "I'll give you a few days to think about it." Then he turns and leaves. Seth is stunned, and for a moment he just sits there, until he remembers he should be chasing after him. Tossing a handful of cash on the table, he runs outside, but there's no sign of Riley in the dark parking lot.
Seth curses and heads to his Mom's car. The silence of the car on the drive home is deafening, and when he finally pulls up at the house his initial shock at Riley's behavior tonight has given way to a confusing mix of opposing emotion. On one hand, he's angry that Riley left without giving him a chance to explain. On the other hand, he's ashamed for his part in the whole misunderstanding. Seth doesn't feel he did anything to deserve Riley's over-the-top reaction, but can't deny that his actions have hurt his friend deeply. He doesn't like thinking of Riley sitting in some stranger's car or heading back to Seattle alone.
Inside, the only person there is his Mom.
"Did you boys have a nice night?" she asks from her seat on the couch. The house is completely silent except for the TV.
"Yeah." Seth says distractedly. He can't see Riley anywhere, but surely he can't have got back here and left already.
"Did Riley...?" Did Riley come back here, grab his bags and run? Tell you that I'm a bastard and that he never wants to see me again?
"You just missed him. He said he had to rush back to the city because his grandmother is sick? Poor thing; I could tell he was very upset but he was trying to be so brave. He thought you were going to stay for a few drinks."
"Changed my mind," Seth mumbles. He runs up to his room after that, his cheeks flaming with embarrassment. He feels like a complete shit. His phone is in his jeans pocket and he pulls it out, pushing Riley's number on speed dial. It goes straight to voicemail and Seth hangs up before it goes through. He's pretty sure he should be apologizing, but to be honest, he's still not really sure for what. It wasn't like he actually did anything. Talking to an old friend is hardly a crime.
"Old friend" is probably a bit of a stretch if Seth is going to be perfectly honest. Edward was Leah's friend, really. She is four years older, so when they were growing up she and her friends were the older, cool kids - the seniors - and he was the kid brother they used to let hang out with them every now and then. At the time, Seth was grateful for whatever he could get, even if it meant being their messenger boy or putting up with them leaving him behind when they went to parties.
Edward was the ringleader of the group, the epitome of cool. Seth sighs as he remembers the way he wore his leather jacket with the collar turned up like the Peninsula's version of James Dean. He was the type of guy people noticed and he always had a crowd of people around him. Seth remembers being one of the crowd, eyeing Edward with a mix of envy and lust. Watching Edward walk across the school parking lot, his sunglasses on, guitar slung over his shoulder.
He never acted on those feelings though. Even if Edward had been so inclined it was unlikely he'd want to make out with Leah's "little brother". He'd been just a kid, and Edward was...well, Edward. Edward Cullen - the King of Cool. There was no way Seth was going to tell him how much he admired him, how much he wanted him. Silly teenage crush.
Edward had his fair share of girlfriends, but then, he didn't seem opposed to boys, either. He'd even flirted with Seth's mother a few times when he came by to pick up Leah for something or other. Sue would always blush and laugh, shaking her finger at Edward, accusing him of being 'born a flirt'.
Seth remembers seeing Edward kiss another guy once at a party, and how his heart had jumped into his mouth at that moment, his stomach full of butterflies. Hoping with everything that he was, that maybe Edward was gay, too. He'd almost given in, almost confessed and told Edward everything, but at the last moment he'd chickened out, too scared of rejection. He never did tell him how much he liked him, maybe even loved him. He'd watched and wanted from afar for the rest of the year, and then Edward left town to pursue his music career. Seth always regretted that he didn't have the balls to tell Edward how he felt.
He used to imagine Edward making it big; getting signed and releasing a record. Hearing his stuff on the radio. He used to have daydreams about joining Edward on the road, being his manager (and his boyfriend) and seeing the whole country as they toured around. Thinking about Edward's music reminds Seth of the newspaper clippings he used to cut.
Suddenly, he's on his feet, rummaging around in the bottom of his closet. His face breaks out into a wide smile as his hands close around a familiar feeling cardboard box. He pulls it out, blowing the dust off the top. Inside are dozens of newspaper articles; reviews of Edward's gigs, an interview he did with the school newspaper, write-ups about Edward and his promising music talent. There is even his picture cut from the yearbook, and candid snapshots Seth stole from Leah's photo album.
The accolades were coming thick and fast back then; Edward was on track to be the next big thing with his innovative blues fusion sound. Flicking through all the articles again makes Seth feel overcome with an almost homesick feeling; like he's suddenly transported back into the body of his fourteen year old self. There's excitement bubbling in his gut, the ache of yearning paired with the sting of unrequited love. He'd like to think he's grown up somewhat since then, but the run in with Edward tonight is making everything resurface again. As he falls asleep on top of his bed, just as he might have all those years ago, his thoughts are consumed with images of Edward.
~xXx~
The strident guitar riff of his phone alarm wakes him from a sound sleep. He's disoriented, and it takes him a moment to realize he's back in his childhood bedroom and not in his apartment in Seattle. Even though his eyes are open, the dream lingers on, and he can almost hear Edward's velvet voice echoing in his ear. Vaguely, he can recall his dream involved watching Edward play - wearing his trademark leather jacket, sitting alone on a stage under a spotlight, strumming his guitar. The smoke from the bar drifted through the beam of light, and Seth can almost taste the alcohol and cigarettes on his tongue. Edward had been singing for him. Called him by his name, even. Seth groans as his morning arousal recalls exactly how that felt.
It's tempting to stay in bed and indulge in a fantasy fueled wank starring his date for this evening. He doesn't want to ignore his mother, though, after having abandoned her the night before. Still, the vivid dream has left him stiff as a bar; ignoring it won't make it go away. Ducking into the shower, he quickly takes care of business in order to move on with his day.
Pulling back his long hair into a ponytail, he heads downstairs where his mom has a full breakfast waiting for him. When Seth protests that this isn't necessary - he doesn't often eat breakfast these days - his Mom pulls out a chair at the table.
"It was a pleasure to have someone to cook for. Besides, I was hungry this morning, too."
Seth kisses her on the cheek before sitting down. "I'm sorry we didn't stay for dinner last night."
"I understand, hon; I wasn't born yesterday. You two should be out having fun instead of watching TV with your old mom. Good thing you went out, too, since Riley had to leave so suddenly."
Yeah, good thing, Seth recognizes with a grin. I might never have run into Edward if we hadn't left the house last night.
His Mom keeps him busy doing odd jobs for the rest of the day. Instead of being annoyed at changing light bulbs and bringing down boxes from the attic, Seth is grateful for the distraction. For the most part, it keeps his mind from going overboard with expectations for the evening.
Sometime in the late afternoon it occurs to him that he has no idea when to expect Edward. That thought is quickly followed by concern over whether Edward is picking him up or not. What if Edward thinks they're going to meet somewhere? He's certain Edward said he'd call but that sliver of doubt is killing him. He grabs the ladder from the garage and sets off to clean the rain gutters. Anything to keep his hands busy for a while longer.
At 6:00 pm he's showered, dressed and pacing around his room. He picks up his phone to check for messages, again, but there are none. Edward doesn't even have his cell number, for crying out loud, and Seth groans at how nervous he is acting. While he has his phone in his hand he calls Riley, but once again it goes straight to voicemail.
"Hey, Riley...um..." Seth pauses. The whole situation yesterday makes him feel angry and kind of sick in the stomach, and he's tried not to dwell on it too much during the day. He doesn't want Riley to be mad at him, but at the same time, Riley's childish behavior was pretty excessive. "I...um, just wanted to make sure you got home okay, I guess. Give me a call?" He hangs up abruptly when he can't think of anything more to say.
Well, that killed 45 seconds.
Seth goes back to pacing, checking his reflection every few minutes and making minor adjustments to his shirt collar, tying his hair up, then pulling it out to let it fall down over his shoulders again.
After another half an hour, he flops on the bed, only to jump up again a few minutes later. He digs around in his old dresser, rediscovering the bits and pieces he left behind when he went away to school. There are old clothes that probably don't even fit anymore, CDs he'd forgotten about, even a pair of old gym shoes shoved in a bag at the back of his closet. He makes a face as he shoves the bag back into the dark corner again, vowing to have a good clean out in the morning and send some bags of junk off to Goodwill.
The light is fading now, and when his room becomes small and stifling, Seth heads downstairs. He pretends to know the storyline of some sitcom his mom is watching, settling in to sit beside her on the couch. She smiles and pats his leg and, for a moment or two, he forgets that Edward still hasn't shown or called. He watches the next show too, trying to appear interested as Sue asks him questions about Seattle, and tells him about the latest Reservation project she is working on. Eventually, she heads to bed, and Seth is forced to admit that Edward isn't going to appear.
The disappointment is crushing.
Seth tries to tell himself it's no big deal, but it hurts. Edward always was a free spirit, though, notoriously fickle and Seth wants to kick himself for being so naive and trusting. He'll always be Leah's kid brother to Edward - he even said it himself at the tavern last night. He clearly read way too much into Edward's offhand remark, and wishes he hadn't been so stupid to believe that Edward Cullen wanted to hang out with him. Their relationship is the same as it was at fourteen; he's been left at home again while the cool kids go out and party. Small and insignificant.
He grabs a bottle of beer from the fridge, and slumps down at the kitchen table. The beer is cold and he swallows it down, hoping the buzz will follow quickly and he can bury the letdown in a drunken haze.
He's on his third bottle when there's a rap at the door. Seth leaps up, knocking his legs on the table edge in his haste to get to the door.
Edward is there.
He looks glorious. Fashionably disheveled, with his auburn hair falling in his eyes, and the sleeves of his shirt rolled up at the wrists. His jeans are faded, worn at the knees and his trademark Doc Martens have been replaced by a scruffy pair of Chucks.
"Hey," Edward says awkwardly, running his hands through his hair.
"Hey, yourself," Seth grins back. Fuck acting cool. "I thought you weren't going to show!"
"Oh." Edward says looking embarrassed. "I got waylaid, I guess. You're still up for it?"
"Yeah! Sure, of course." Seth is already out the door, pulling it quietly behind him. He should have known Edward would get there eventually.
Seth follows Edward down the driveway, noticing how the couple of inches height difference between them during high school, is pretty much negligible now. Edward might even be a tiny bit shorter. They climb into Edward's car; a beat up old Volvo that looks like it might have seen better days several decades ago. There are papers and take-out wrappers on the seat, and Seth pushes them to the floor, wondering why Edward is driving such a piece of shit car.
The car splutters to life, and Seth winces as the sound of the car revving must surely be waking the whole neighborhood. Edward gets a handle on it eventually, and they head off. Forks is dead at this time of night, it's late and the only place still open is the tavern where they ate the previous night. Seth is surprised when Edward drives right past it, though.
"We're not going to Sully's?" he asks.
Edward makes a noise that makes it clear what he thinks of the place. "No."
Seth doesn't want to question Edward's choices, and he has no idea where they might be going as they head down the highway out of town.
Edward turns the stereo on as they drive, the volume too loud to allow for easy conversation. Seth doesn't mind; sitting next to Edward in his car is more than enough.
They pull up at the beach at La Push a little after midnight.
Seth hasn't been here for years. In fact, he can't even remember the last time he came down for a swim in the Pacific Ocean. The sky is clear and the full moon shines brightly, illuminating the whole beach. It's deserted of course, but magnificent. Silver sand stretching for as far as the eye can see, the sound of the waves crashing on the shore echo in the empty night air.
Edward pulls a six pack of beer out of the back of the car and they head down to the dunes. There is a stiff breeze whipping across the sand, but Edward doesn't seem to notice the cold. He only has a shirt on, and Seth pulls his jacket tighter around him as they find a spot where there is a good view of the beach.
Seth takes the proffered drink, leaning back on his elbows. Edward cups his hands, fighting against the sea breeze for a few minutes until he finally gets his cigarette lit.
"I didn't realize you smoke." Seth is shocked by the idea that Edward is a smoker. If there was one thing that Edward was fastidious about, it was his voice. He never smoked, not even weed, claiming it would damage his voice. Playing in smoky clubs was the only time he tolerated smokers, and that was only because it was the necessary price to pay to make it big.
Edward flicks the ash in the sand. "Well I do, now. Obviously." His reply is heavy with snark, and Seth isn't sure how to respond.
After a moment of awkward silence Edward turns to Seth. "So, what are you studying anyway?"
Seth is relieved the conversation has strayed to safer topics, and he launches into his now familiar spiel, "I'm in my first year at law school, going to major in environmental law, with a focus on Native American reservations." He's used to getting murmurs of approval, questions or expressions of interest in what he's planning on doing with his degree - working with his own people and how they might best protect their land. He's pretty proud of what he's achieved so far, and can't wait to be out in the real world using his qualification to help right some past wrongs.
Edward doesn't look that impressed, however. "Is that so?" His voice sounds almost...disgusted? Seth tells himself he can't have interpreted that correctly, and continues.
"I really want to help protect the coastline, make sure there are resources for future generations."
Edward snorts, and flicks the still burning butt of his cigarette into the dune. He stands, taking Seth by surprise, and stubs the orange glow out with his foot.
He's walking away before Seth has even finished his drink.
"Are you coming?" Edward calls over his shoulder, and Seth scrambles to his feet, running to catch up to Edward.
"You're shivering. I thought we'd go back to my place instead." Edward mutters.
It's true. Seth is freezing, trying to act like the cold sea air isn't chilling him to the bone and he finds himself feeling grateful to Edward for sensing his unease and suggesting an alternative.
As they drive back, getting nearer and nearer to Forks, Seth's excitement at seeing where Edward lives possesses his complete attention. The car has stopped and the driver's side door is open before Seth notices he didn't say a single word during the entire car ride. Then again, he counters, Edward didn't try to start a conversation, either. Or maybe he did, he worries; Edward is probably wondering why he asked this boring boy to come home with him.
Seth hurries out of the car to find that he has to rush to catch up. He's winded by the time he reaches Edward's side, garnering a sly, "You're panting already?" from the older man.
Seth feels as though his face may split in half from the force of his smile. It's a relief to see the lighter, joking side of Edward that he remembers so well.
Edward unlocks his door, entering before Seth. He tries not to notice that Edward didn't hold the door open after passing inside. Edward tosses his keys onto the messy ledge dividing the kitchen from the apartment's living area. Then he's muttering again, something about toilet this time, before strolling away through another doorway.
Seth isn't sure what he expected Edward's place to look like, but this is not it. That the apartment is small is not a big surprise. He lives alone and probably doesn't need a whole lot of space for just himself. No; it's the general air of neglect which takes Seth aback. Not that Seth is a clean-freak, although growing up with his Mom he would have sworn he'd end up OCD about dust, but his first impression of Edward's place is that it's dirty. Walking around the small futon in the cramped sitting area, Seth revises his initial opinion. There aren't any roaches and the room doesn't smell, although stale cigarette smoke is pretty noticeable, so maybe 'dirty' was a little judgmental. Seth snickers to think of what Sue's reaction would be to the roaring mess of clothes and dishes. Then he wonders if Edward's mom has seen the place.
The pipes announce Edward's return with a hideous screeching sound from the toilet being flushed. Seth is relieved to notice Edward wiping his hands, and idly wonders if some of Sue's cleanliness attitudes have found a home with him after all.
"That's better," Edward laughs. "I should have done that before we got in the car." He plops heavily onto the futon, kicking CD cases aside to make room for his feet on the coffee table. "Bring the beer with you when you come through, will you?"
When excited flutters seize his stomach, he tries to remember how much he's had to drink tonight. Not that much, he decides. He'd probably have to leave Forks forever if he hurled in Edward's apartment.
Taking a shallow breath, Seth forces himself to move. Finding the remainder of the six-pack on the floor near his feet, he tries to casually saunter over to Edward. It's either the futon or the floor as far as seating options go. It only takes a few seconds to decide futon.
Edward is sprawled out on the futon, nearly reclining with his head on the flimsy back. Seth tries to make himself comfortable sitting sideways, facing Edward. It's a good thing we're both skinny, Seth reflects. There isn't much room for the two of them as it is.
"So, how long have you lived here? How come you're not living with your folks?" Seth immediately wants to take back that last sentence. Of course he's living on his own, he berates himself. As much as I love my Mom I sure wouldn't want to live with her full time again.
Edward is non-plussed, answering, "Awhile" before opening another can of beer.
Seth follows suit, chugging back another drink and trying not to notice the piles of "stuff" invading every corner of the small room. Beside him, Edward lights another cigarette and Seth watches the yellowed tips of Edward's fingers drawing up to his lips and away again, a thin plume of gray smoke following.
They chat for a few minutes about Leah and other friends Seth hasn't seen or thought of in years. They joke about how they used to sneak into the clubs in Port Angeles when Edward was playing.
Seth smiles as he remembers how thrilling that was, seeing Edward on the stage, a star in the making. He glances around the room, searching the piles of mess and spies a guitar case in the corner, half-hidden by a stack of magazines and a discarded sweatshirt.
"Hey, how about a song. For old times sake?" Seth asks, pulling himself to his feet.
Beside him, Edward grimaces. "Nah, let's just have a drink. Or I can put on a DVD if my conversations skills aren't interesting enough for you."
Seth ignores Edward's sarcasm and heads over to the corner. He pulls out the guitar case, noticing the thick layer of dust that is caked on the top of the black plastic. His fingers leave little oval imprints in the muck. Seth wonders if he's inadvertently found Edward's spare guitar, but doesn't spy any other instrument in the room.
"Look, I don't really feel like playingright now." Edward's tone has become increasingly desperate as Seth continues to fetch the guitar. He doesn't notice the panic in Edward's face though, too busy trying to convince Edward for "just one". Fondly Seth recalls long summer afternoons in the backyard of their house, Edward playing quietly in the background while everyone chatted and ate Popsicles. The guitar was a permanent attachment back then, it seemed every conversation was accompanied by the sounds of gentle guitar strumming and delicate chords.
"What about Clapton's Pretending? I always loved the way you played that one," Seth says with a sigh. Definitely his favorite of all the songs Edward had covered. It's on his CD; Seth played it on repeat for hours at a time when he first bought it.
"Pretending?" Edward makes a sound of derision. "You want to know about pretending? Go spend some time in the music industry. More posers and pretenders than there are trees in a forest. Talent? Not so much. But plenty of pretending."
Seth rolls his eyes; Edward must have had more beer than Seth realized. Slowly, he pulls up the lid of the guitar case, only to find the guitar has a busted string.
There won't be any song tonight.
Seth closes the lid with a sharp bang which echoes in the tiny room. Edward doesn't say anything, just stares intently at his fingernails as if to say "I told you so." Seth returns the case to it's forgotten spot against the wall and reluctantly takes his seat next to Edward on the futon.
"What happened?" he asks. It's a two-fold question, really - what happened to Edward the King of Cool, the brightest music star the West Coast had seen in decades? What happened to the music?
"Busted strings happen all the time, you know." Edward replies. "Just haven't gotten around to fixing it yet."
Seth frowns. He's not sure if Edward deliberately misunderstood him or if he doesn't want to talk about it, but either way Seth feels both sad and disillusioned to realize Edward isn't making music these days.
"No. What happened...to you?" This time his tone is insistent and Edward fidgets on the futon, squirming under Seth's intent gaze.
"Assholes. That's what happened." Edward's voice is bitter, and Seth is beginning to realize that there's something intrinsically different about Edward now. He's trying to figure out what it is when Edward continues.
"Assholes who claimed my work as their own and took all my earnings." Edward stubs out the cigarette angrily on a dirty plate lying on the floor. "You wanna know what happened? I got fucked over. That's what happened."
"They took your copyright?" Seth asks with concern. Knowing what he does about intellectual property, at best this scenario doesn't sound right and at worst nothing short of illegal.
"Pretty much. And before you go all lawyer on me, you should know I already tried all that. "Signed it away" they said and that was that. Pack of thieving bastards the lot of them."
"But your company. The record company you signed with...surely they would be able to..."
"Are you not listening? I said I got fucked over. The label folded, owing me a ton of money. I was too stupid to know that I should keep an eye on them. I was so amped to be on the road, getting to sing every night, that I trusted them precisely like the small town hick they thought I was. What little money I had left was spent trying to prove my rights to the music I wrote. After that, moving here was the only option left. Being back in this shit hole of a town isn't exactly a choice, you know."
Seth bristles in defense of his home town. "Call this 'backwoods' or 'one-horse' or whatever you want but Forks is certainly not a 'shit-hole'. And just because one group of lawyers couldn't help you doesn't mean that you have to stop trying. I have a work-study job with one of the Law School's Deans; I can talk to him when I get back to Seattle."
Edward barks out a humorless laugh. "You are one naive, starry-eyed young thing, aren't you, kid? It hurts me to think about how the real world's going to chew you up. Let me save you the trouble of learning this the hard way: justice is a myth. The law only works for the ones with enough money to manipulate it."
Now Seth can feel his face flooding with annoyance. Edward has a right to be a little bitter but he doesn't need to insult him in the process.
Before he can argue, Edward has advanced the few inches remaining between them. Seth sits transfixed as Edward's eyes roam across his face from just millimeters away.
"That ivory-tower idealism of yours is hot, though. You should see yourself right now. Your face is flushed, all deep russet roses and sexy as fuck. Your eyes are glossy, bright as polished piano keys. Even those indignant little puffs you're expelling are inviting me closer..."
The last word is spoken as Edward's lips brush against Seth's. It's not a tentative kiss; Edward is quite sure of himself. It's more of an opening salvo, the warning shot before the assault begins.
It's everything Seth has ever wanted but was afraid to hope for, although the taste of cheap beer and cigarettes never factored into his fantasies. His head is swimming with the abrupt change in attitude. Aside from the 'panting already' remark as they crossed the parking lot, Edward has done nothing tonight which even hinted that he thought of Seth as something more than good company.
Edward is intent on conquest as his fingers march the column of Seth's spine. Seth's back arches involuntarily, responding to the electric chill which seems to begin at his balls to travel in a flash to the base of his brain. He groans wantonly, unable to summon a semblance of composure.
They've been kissing for exactly two minutes and Seth's already as hard as a teenager waking from a sex dream. For the umpteenth time in the last two days Edward has reduced him to the fourteen year-old Seth had thought was long gone.
Edward chuckles knowingly as his fingers swing from back to abdomen, dipping low to fist the boy's bulging denim. Seth arches again, a mewling "Ed-ward, stop" spoken in one hasty breath.
"Go ahead and let yourself go, boy. I promise that the next one won't be far behind."
Something about those words mixed with the unexpectedness of the situation causes Seth to do just that. His body tenses as his cock spasms euphorically. Edward grins like the devil himself as he unfastens Seth's jeans when the first spasm begin. He manages to pull Seth's seizing cock free from his briefs in time to witness the final few shots of joy.
Seth's swallowing hard, struggling to catch his breath. His head's thrown back as he watches Edward through heavy eyelids with a bizarre combination of embarrassment and lethargy. Edward still has possession of his cock, his long fingers strumming the frets of Seth's shaft with the same ease he once employed on the neck of a guitar.
He kisses Edward impulsively, biting Edward's bottom lip to assert himself a little. Edward growls and pulls Seth until he's lying prone, pinned beneath the other man's knees.
"OK, enough foreplay," Edward declares. "Do you want me to fuck you here or in my room?"
Seth blinks at the choice he's been given. He's still listless from his orgasm so the thought of moving is unappealing. Unfortunately, so is the thought of being pounded into the futon's thin cushion.
Edward interprets his hesitation as dissatisfaction. "The floor it is, then." He lets go of Seth's shaft long enough to kick the coffee table out of the way, rolling both of them to the floor with a quiet thump. "Don't go anywhere."
"Where would I go?" Seth whispers to himself. He watches Edward saunter into the bedroom, returning quickly with the necessary supplies.
Edward immediately straddles him again. After pushing Seth's shirt up far enough to expose his nipples, he rests back on his heels to gaze appreciatively at the younger man's half-naked state. Seth watches Edward's eyes, dilated wide with lust, scan the torso beneath him. He had never expected being with Edward this way would make him feel so vulnerable. He's surprised at how submissive he's been in the face of Edward's demands.
Seth takes advantage of Edward's position to pull the singer's tee shirt up with one hand while the other traces the line of soft, coarse hair trailing downward until it disappears below his waistband. His hand splays so that his fingers tease tiny curls while his thumb caresses the firm bulge beneath the zipper. Edward crosses his hands to grasp opposing sides of his shirt, pulling it over his head and tossing it over his shoulder in one graceful motion.
Edward answers Seth's reverent wow with a confident smirk. He reaches across his chest to play with his own nipple, closing his eyes with a hoarse moan as Seth lowers the zipper standing in his way. He peels Edward's jeans away, feeling as though his eyes might roll to the back of his head as he is finally, finally, able to grab Edward's ass in both hands. Edward begins to thrust appreciatively, causing Seth's heart to soar right into his throat.
Edward rises up to his knees, haphazardly tearing the foil wrapper with his teeth while Seth tries diligently not to worry about torn latex. Edward has probably opened something like thousands of condoms.
His anticipation intensifying, Seth glances up at Edward through lowered lashes, reaching out to help him don the condom.
"I've got this," Edward assures him as he quirks an eyebrow. "Are you going to get undressed?" Stroking himself contemplatively, he continues, "Although, the idea of fucking you in shirt and socks is kind of erotic."
Startled, Seth scrambles to remove his own shirt. He's forced to move Edward off of him momentarily so he can take off his pants and briefs.
Edward nods approvingly as Seth lays back on the floor. "That's more like it. I'm going to really enjoy having you on your hands and knees for me."
Seth rises halfway so he can kiss Edward again. "I was looking forward to watching you come," he growls against the singer's lips.
"Hmm, afraid not. I want to drill you hard and fast so taking you from behind is ideal. I can get a lot deeper that way, too. You're the freshest piece of ass I've seen in months; I want to really enjoy this."
Pleased that Edward wants him so strongly, Seth grins as he moves into position. He promises himself that he'll be more assertive about positioning next time. Going along with the flow is good enough for now.
The snap of a bottle lid makes him gasp. It's probably a good thing he's cum once already. As keyed up as he is, he wants this to last awhile.
Gooseflesh crawls along his back at the first touch of a cool, wet finger. Edward traces a finger from the divot between Seth's cheeks to the sensitive spot behind his balls which Riley had used to his advantage yesterday. Seth pushes Riley firmly from his mind. He doesn't want anything to distract him from the teasing finger now circling his hole.
Edward is quick but careful to prepare him. Seth breathes a delighted sigh when he feels Edward's thighs press against his own.
Wasting no time, Edward lines himself up and steadily pushes the head of his cock into the panting boy. He pauses a moment, mumbling tighter than I fucking expected. Fortunately, this is all the time Seth needs to adjust to the intrusion. He concentrates on the exhilaration that being stretched in this way, by Edward of all people, brings.
"Ungh, yes. You feel even better than I'd hoped; filling me, possessing me." Seth is aware that he's babbling but this is no time to hold back. He's in the midst of grabbing the brass ring and he's going to make the most of it.
"Sshhh, stop talking."
True to his word, Edward grabs Seth's hips to begin a furious pace. Seth gives himself over to the sensations, losing himself in the sounds of panting and slapping flesh.
Maybe it's a good thing I can't see his face. This way there's nothing to pull me away from just...feeling.
His blissful haze is interrupted by a warm hand between his shoulder blades. Seth smiles at the contact, rising slightly to push up against the warm palm. He's forced to move in reverse when the hand pushes back insistently, maneuvering Seth until his shoulders meet the carpet.
"Yessss," Edward yells, squeezing his fingers even tighter against Seth's hips, his thrusts becoming more and more erratic.
Cheek pressed against the carpet, Seth reaches back to grab his own turgid cock. He manages only a couple of strokes before he feels Edward tense behind him, pulsing within him and yelling loud enough to wake the dead.
He's so turned on by the sounds Edward is making that it only takes a few fervent tugs before he's following Edward into ecstasy.
Edward quickly pulls out, rolling onto his back with a deeply satisfied grunt. "Thanks, kid; that really did me in. I feel like I could sleep for a week." His voice trails off until Seth has to strain to catch the last few words.
Seth scoots over to cuddle next to Edward, spooning him as best he can. He's drowsy and warm and more relaxed than he ever remembers being. His body is heavy but his mind is whirring. He's just had the incredible good fortune to fulfill one of his most cherished fantasies. Lifting Edward's arm, he rolls the two of them onto their sides until he's cocooned in Edward's warmth. He can't think of anywhere he'd rather be at this moment.
Still, as Seth replays their evening until his mind is as exhausted as his body, a tiny voice nags that this was not the romantic rendezvous of his fantasies.
~xXx~
Somehow Seth finds himself back on the futon. It's sometime in the early hours of the morning now and he's exhausted. He lies on his side, pushed up against the wall as Edward sprawls out across most of the space. Seth can hear Edward is still soundly asleep; his slow, heavy breathing is the only sound in the room. Seth wriggles, trying to get more comfortable beside Edward's slumbering body. Their bodies are sticky with sweat, and the room smells like sex and beer. Briefly, he considers going home to his Mom's place and sleeping in his own clean bed where there is plenty of room, but a glance at Edward beside him is enough to change his mind.
Spending the night with Edward. Seth smiles to himself. How many times has he imagined himself waking in Edward's arms? How many hundreds of time has he imagined himself sharing his body and his bed with this gorgeous man. And now, here he is, in Edward's house.
Granted, the quick fuck on the floor isn't exactly how he imagined things would go, nor is the predicament he now finds himself in - Edward didn't actually ask him to stay, in fact, he said very little once he'd finished. Then again, Seth reasons to himself, Edward didn't ask him to go, either. He curls around Edward's body, laying his arm across his chest and settling in for the night.
He wishes Edward was still awake so they could talk. Seth wants to tell him everything - how he's always loved him, how much this night meant to him. To know that Edward must be feeling something for him in return makes his heart swell. Maybe he'll tell Edward in the morning. He falls asleep with a smile on his lips, thoughts of spending the day in Edward's arms drifting in his mind.
The morning arrives too soon. Seth cracks his eyes open, reluctantly. In the stark light of day the room is even more of a shambles than it had appeared the night before after a few beers. Unwashed clothes and takeout wrappers litter the floor, and the curtain has a large rip in it where the sun is pouring through. The smell of stale smoke and body odor floods his nose and he winces as he tries to move - his shoulder's out of joint from sleeping at an odd angle on the unforgiving futon cushion.
He takes the opportunity to simply stare at Edward, something he hasn't allowed himself yet. The pink lips that teased him for so many years are pursed in a mild frown, a well-worn crease evident between his brows. Seth feels a stab of worry as he examines Edward's skin in the morning light. Edward had always been pale but his skin this morning has an unhealthy color.
Seth decides that Edward needs someone to look after him. He knows he is more than up to that task.
Eventually, he manages to scramble to his feet, climbing over Edward's still sleeping body to find his clothes that were strewn on the floor. He pulls his jeans on quickly before making his way to the bathroom. It is clear that Edward doesn't clean the bathroom any more frequently than he tidies the rest of the house. He flushes, cringing as he hears the screech of the pipes.
He tiptoes back to the living area, but Edward is stirring, rubbing his eyes and sitting up against the futon back. He quickly glances at Seth with something close to indifference, groaning as he stretches his back.
"Good morning," Seth says cheerfully as he bends and picks up his shirt.
Edward makes a snorting kind of sound. "Not so good for me. My back is killing me." There's almost an accusation in his tone, and Seth feels bad that they slept so awkwardly on the narrow futon. He should have insisted Edward take him to bed instead.
Edward drags himself to his feet, complaining and kneading at his lower back with his hands.
"Can I make you some coffee?" Seth offers apologetically. He starts to head towards the kitchenette, but Edward stops him saying there's no coffee machine, and there's no way he's drinking instant crap. Seth offers to go down to the coffee shop and get him a real coffee, an offer Edward hastily agrees to. He slumps back on the futon as Seth slips out of the house.
The coffee shop is only a short walk, and Seth orders two lattes, not knowing how Edward takes his coffee. He hopes the caffeine will improve Edward's mood, and give them some time to talk, maybe even make plans to spend the day together.
When he returns to the apartment, he finds Edward lying spread out on the futon, snoring loudly.
He hesitates for a moment. Part of him desperately wants to wake Edward, but he's not sure he wants to see any more of Edward's surly morning disposition and he can only imagine what kind of fury would await him if he did interrupt his slumber. Quietly, he leaves the cup on the floor and lets himself out.
The walk home is long and hot. His mom would probably come and get him, but he doesn't want to have to explain why Edward isn't dropping him home. He's disappointed, but at the same time there's a feeling of anticipation and excitement.
Edward Cullen. It seems like a dream come true.
Eventually, he makes it home, collapsing on his bed and catching up on some much needed sleep. It's afternoon by the time he wakes and his first thoughts are whether Edward might be working or whether they could meet up again that night. He realizes he doesn't have Edward's number to just call him, but he's not above a little drive-by reconnaissance.
There's no sign of Edward's blue car outside his apartment, so Seth turns and heads towards Sully's. It's with a smile of satisfaction that Seth pulls into the parking lot, leaving Sue's car next to Edward's Volvo. Inside, the tavern is busy, but Seth quickly spies Edward's tousled auburn hair behind the bar. He grins, sauntering up to the bar and taking a seat.
"What can I get you?" Edward asks without turning from where he is stacking glasses on the shelf.
"Some more of what you were serving last night would be great," Seth quips.
Edward turns quickly. His smile is fleeting as he takes in Seth's eager expression.
"Oh. Hey," he mumbles. "Want something to drink?"
"Water's fine; I'm still a little dehydrated from yesterday. How's your back?"
"I'm here," he sighs, pulling a bottle of water from the cooler.
Seth opens the bottle, taking a long drink while watching Edward from the corner of his eye. He looks tired and more than a little bored.
"Listen. If you are here to drink, then that's cool, but if you're here to see me? I'm working. Lucille will blow her stack if she thinks I'm shirking it by talking to you."
"Of course," Seth says quickly. The tone of Edward's voice comes as a surprise, like he's telling off a little kid. Seth tries to tell himself it's only because he doesn't want to get in trouble with his boss. Nothing personal. "Can I see you later, then?"
Edward shakes his head. "Late shift. Who knows when I'll finally get out of here, and besides I need a good night's sleep now." He makes an exaggerated gesture of supporting his back.
"Sure." Seth tries to hide his disappointment, but is determined to see more of Edward before he has to head back to Seattle. "Tomorrow?"
Edward shrugs and mutters something non-committal. Seth takes the sound as something akin to affirmative, since it wasn't exactly a negative response.
He leaves shortly after. Edward is busy at the other end of the bar, seemingly flirting with a couple of girls who have come in for dinner. He doesn't look up as Seth walks past on his way to the door.
The next day, Seth waits as long as he can, but he really needs to see Edward again. Yesterday's short encounter at the bar wasn't enough. He drives past the bar but the beat up blue car isn't there. It's parked outside Edward's apartment.
Seth debates whether he should just go ahead and knock on Edward's door. On one hand, Edward certainly didn't seem to mind him being there the other day, but he's still not confident enough of their new found "more than old friends" status to know what Edward's reaction will be to an unannounced visit.
In the end, his need to see, and hopefully kiss, Edward again wins out and he parks his mother's car at the curb. He bounds up to Edward's door, anticipation and eagerness making his stomach churn. It's a good feeling though, excitement bubbling in his veins and his head full of thoughts of spending what remains of the day with Edward.
When Edward finally opens the door, he is bleary eyed and quite possibly high or drunk. It's clear he's been sleeping, his clothing crumpled and smelling of stale cigarette smoke.
"What the hell?"
Seth is second-guessing his decision. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea after all. He ventures a tentative, "Hi?"
Edward grunts, scraping both palms across his face. "Now isn't a good time."
"Oh, okay. Umm, I could come back later. In fact, why don't I bring something for us to eat when I come back. What're you hungry for?" He's well aware that he sounds a little lame; being this close to Edward is effecting his composure.
Edward shakes his head. "Later isn't good, either."
Disappointment lodges in Seth's throat but he manages a strangled, "I only have today left until I have to go back to school."
Edward's hands are rubbing his face again, a little more aggressively this time. "Look, don't make me be an asshole about this, alright? Go home, kid."
Seth's ears are ringing and he feels a little unsteady. "But, I thought..."
"What? What did you think? That I'm your boyfriend now? That I was going to suddenly realize that I've loved you all this time? That stuff doesn't happen in real life, kid. Weren't you listening to me the other night? Dreams. Don't. Come. True. But maybe you need to find that out for yourself."
Taking several steps backward, Seth musters a faint, "Maybe I do." Bowing his head as if he's protecting himself from a storm, he turns and makes a beeline to the car.
Next thing he knows, he's seated behind the wheel, no idea how long he's been there. The sky is darker now so he supposes a couple of hours. A front has blown through so he listens to the wind buffet the car for a few minutes. He's numb inside and out, his whole body stiff from sitting in the cooling weather.
Somehow, Seth finds his way back to his mother's house. He rouses enough momentum to push himself into the house and up the stairs, barely nodding hello to his Mom.
Seth spends the rest of the night in his bed, buried deep beneath layers of blankets and duvet, staring at the ceiling.
By morning he's reached a sort of peace with himself. He's spent the night piecing things together, finding new insight into the last couple of days. Edward had called him 'starry-eyed' and Seth grimly concedes the truth of that. He's never felt so stupid, so naive. He feels a little used, but he's adult enough to admit that he made himself more than available.
His biggest admission is that he saw only the Edward he wanted to see instead of the jaded, bitter man who will probably spend the rest of his life in Forks.
The Edward he remembers, the Edward his heart had clung to all these years, was confident, vibrant and full of life. He had dreams; he knew what he wanted and wasn't afraid to go out and make them come true. Seth knows the Edward he remembers is gone, and with him so are his own dreams.
Seth realizes there was a small piece of him holding onto the past, clinging to a silly teenage crush, and keeping him from seeing what was right in front of him the whole time. In a way, he's kind of grateful Edward helped him see he's not that person anymore, either.
Where one dream ends another can begin.
Seth's ready to go home, back to Seattle and the life he's made for himself. He knows what he really wants now.
Zipping his duffel bag, he tries Riley one more time before hitting the road. This time he leaves a message. "Hey, Riley; it's Seth. I don't blame you for not wanting to talk to me. I have been a world-class douche." Taking a deep breath, he continues resolutely, "I'm on my way home. I'm ready to talk whenever you are."
Satisfied but lost in love
Situations change
You're never who you used to think you are
How strange
~Eric Clapton - Pretending~
A/N: Our love goes to Meikela for lending her sharp grammar eyes to this story. She's an awesome cheerleader, too. Be sure to stop by our profile and take a look at the amazing banner Ms. Ambrosia created for our boys. We're both thrilled with the way it turned out.
Thank you for reading!