Byron was digging away at the edge of a cliff. His armpits pissed sweat as his manly beard hoarded hovering flies. Yes, this was true masculinity.
Almost about to be separated from the precipice, Byron's shovel suddenly halted in the dirt. Byron's beady, black pupils pierced at the random checkpoint as adrenaline surged through him. He soon found himself on his knees to dig out the potential prize with his bare hands. And there it was.
A fossil.
Before time could continue, Byron was already back on his feet, shouting like a insane freak who cracked, which was really the sound of a mating bear. His arms flung in the air like he just didn't care. When he settled down, he examined the medium rock only to find himself to declare, "HE'LL LOVE IT, THE STUPID GINGER!"
A week later, Byron decided to pay his son a visit for once since today was the day it was Roark's twentieth birthday. When Roark saw his grizzly father at the door, grudge stung him.
"Hello, father." Roark rolled his eyes.
"Roark, my boy, your voice still hasn't cracked yet?" Byron responded. Roark was about to wail at him until Byron put up a hand. "Never mind. I have come to give you a present."
"I don't want your stinkin' present."
"Shut up."
Byron let himself in with his hands in his pockets, appearing as if he was pondering the meaning of life. Roark was getting impatient until Byron finally spoke with great importance.
"Roark, my boy, despite the fact I haven't seen you and that I'm the true fossil man, you have become a man at last; therefore, I must give you my latest and best find." He pulled his hands out of his pockets and turned, with a Pokeball in his hand, at Roark. He walked over and silently handed the ball to him-and just like that-Roark's critical feelings melted.
"You…" Roark sniffed. "You really mean it?" He clutched his Pokeball to his chest as his emotions overwhelmed him.
"Yes." Byron began to laugh. "C'mon now! I ain't waiting all day! Give her a spin!"
Roark nodded and called out the present from the Pokeball only to see it was a Penis.
"Penis penis!" it said to its owner.
"D-daddy? What is this?" Roark curiously said as he shyfully peered at it.
"Why, it's a Penis, Roark!" Byron exclaimed. "It acts kind-of lifeless at first, but once you get intimate with it, he's a wild, little bugger!"
"Thank you so much, Daddy!" Roark exclaimed back as he pounced himself onto his father's bosoms with his arms around him.
A few days after, Roark had a challenger by the name of Ash. He smelled like beans. When they began to battle, Ash called out his Aipom.
"Well, I'm calling out my little buddy. I choose Penis!"
Right before everyone's (including Paul's) eyes was Penis. It jiggled on the battlefield as Brock and Paul were disgusted yet it got fierce when Roark commanded it to use Quickie Attack. Soon enough Roark's pants were off as everyone watched his Pokemon loving him a little too tenderly.
Paul left, muttering, "What a tool."
Ash lost.