Title: Fluff Wars
Author: vkdemon
Recipient: brbdistracted in the tumblr Teen Wolf Holiday Exchange
Pairing(s): Sterek
Rating: PG
Length: 1,100
Genre(s)/Trope(s): Grumpycat!Derek, Puppy!Stiles, Cutey Fluff
Warning(s): Fluff
Prompt: AU
Summary: Grumpy Cat Derek is not pleased with the puppy named Stiles brought home by his humans. He need to teach the beast who the Alpha is here!
Notes: This is a fluffy Puppy!Stiles and grumpycat!Derek AU. All the love for Karolina who put up with betaing and coaching me through the silly.
Derek was not pleased. The very tip of his tail twitched and his down turned face made it clear to the strange creature in his domain that he was unwelcome. Derek had been the only Alpha of the Stilinski clan for too long to accept some yapping newcomer to disrupting his regiment. His human was cooing over the interloper as he set down some foul dry substance in a bowl. The side of the bowl tipped over at the pup's enthusiasm. The black letters on the side of a red bowl proclaimed 'STILES'. What a stupid name for a dog.
Derek paced on the counter, glaring at the human who was opening a can of his chicken and liver meal. It was taking far too long and the mutt was already eating! The broad rough hands of his human lifted him from the counter and placed him down beside the beast. The slobbering idiot jumped a foot in the air as if he was somehow surprised that Derek existed. Was his long snout not functioning? Derek had clearly scent marked every inch of his domain.
Derek glared, feeling no small enjoyment from the fear his regal form had put in the mongrel. He walked over and took a bit of the cold puppy chow just to prove that he was Alpha and he could have anything he wanted.
He was enjoying a proper gloat when the human put down his wet food. Derek started to calmly wander on over to his bowl when The Unimaginable happened. The 'Stiles' started to eat his food! His floppy ears hung on either side of Derek's bowl. Derek felt no remorse in scratching the black nose of the food-stealer.
Stiles yipped and cowered away. Derek glared and took to eating faster than he usually would. He didn't want to give the floppy eared asshole a chance to steal his chicken and liver fancy feast. He looked over and the interloper was happily chowing down on his dry food.
Derek had settled in for his 2pm nap when a horrible sound woke him from the joy of his sleep. It was like nails on tile. In fact that's exactly what it was. Someone had gotten the interloper a ball that it was chasing across the tiles of the dining room floor. Derek's grumpy brown ear twitched in annoyance, but he refused to get up.
Then came the RIIIIIIP. The ball rebounded off the screen door. The dog had not. Tangled in the grey mesh was one pathetic looking pet with huge sad brown eyes entreating Derek to help. Idiot.
Derek takes his time walking around the Stiles, internally gloating over the idiocy of going through the door. If any door was wished to be opened all that you had to do was meow at it until your servant came and opened it for you. The puppy was making sad noises and now trying to struggle himself free.
A few quick slices of Derek's wicked claws and the dog tumbled backward, freed of his own stupidity. The fluffy beast should bow. Instead, it licked him! It mussed his fur and licked him! This was not proper deference to the Alpha!
Instead of shaking in fear from the force of Derek's fury, the Stiles bounded along after the ball that got him in trouble in the first place. Derek glared and then huffed and began to take a bath. The Stiles was clearly damaged in the head. Maybe he was dropped as a puppy. Maybe he should get the Stiles dropped on his head.
Derek finished off his mid-evening-pre-supper nap. He began to patrol his territory and came upon the Stiles staring intently at the big talking bright box the Stilinski family liked to sit in front of. The Stiles didn't move an inch as the jumping colors enraptured his senses.
Derek didn't like the box much. It made loud sounds and sometimes it crackled and sounded like fire. Like the Hale house and his Hale family and he doesn't like remembering before he picked the Stilinski's. Stilinski's never burn stupid candles and leave tiny humans alone in the house. They never let a girl named Kate from next door chase him with a sparkler. The box is filled with bad memories.
Derek moves toward the Stiles and places a paw down on the slowly swishing tail. The Stiles yelps and jumps away with a look of complete shock. Did the dog not hear him? Derek jumps up to the back of the couch and looked down at the shocked Stiles. That was... fun.
From that moment the Stiles was no longer simply an irritant. He is also a source of endless amusement. Derek would sneak up on the Stiles while eating. He would pounce when the dog was playing with his rope. But his favorite time was when the pup was watching that stupid box.
He hears his minions call it his 'campaign of terror' and Derek thinks they are too dramatic. He's just having fun. In fact, he has so much fun that he tired himself out listening to the yelps. He decides to take a nap on the window ledge out looking the front yard. It is a perfect place to relax. His long cream and brown tipped tail hangs down from the ledge and swishes in his sleep.
He is having one of his less pleasant dreams. It is made of smoke, dark smoke and cruel laughing girls and heat. It curls his whiskers and singes his coat. He starts to make small upset growls as his body twitches. Trapped in his dream, he never sees the sad cinnamon eyes sneaking slowly toward him.
BARK!
There were no Stiles's in burning houses? What was...
BARK!
Derek the grumpy cat jolts away and, in a display of grace and feline agility, rolls of the edge of the windowsill and lands on his side on the floor. WHAT?! Who dares wake the Alpha from his sleep! His terrible, terrible sleep. Someone will die for this!
LIIIIIICK.
He is wet. He is awake, and he is on the ground, and now he is wet.
LICK.
Wet again! The Stiles is licking him! The Alpha is not some new born kitten in need of grooming. Stiles needs to stop! He yowls but the pup didn't stop nuzzling him. In fact, the warm body flops down beside him and cuddles up to his side.
Derek glares but huge cinnamon eyes beg him. The Alpha huffs. He adjusts, nudging and pawing at the brown fur of the pup until he is comfortable. He lays a paw on Stiles face. The pup is already wuffling in his sleep.
Maybe this Stiles isn't so useless. Derek sleep without nightmares and he can always sneak up on Stiles later whenever he gets bored.