A/N: I know that fan fiction here focuses mostly on Jess and Nick and while I'm a huge fan of them on the show, I couldn't get Schmidt and Jess out of my head. I hated thinking about Jess with anyone other than Nick though. It's an unconventional fiction and if you aren't into that sort of thing I understand. This contains extremely mature content please don't read if that makes you uncomfortable. Please review though, especially if you enjoyed it. Also, I'm not affiliated with New Girl.
Jess didn't really know how it happened.
Winston had moved out of the loft after his inevitable reunion with Shelby, and the two were now happily living together across town planning their impending nuptials. Since then, Schmidt had taken his old room back and the small bedroom, formerly known as the library, off the kitchen remained empty, waiting patiently for a willing occupant to fill it. But month after month as applicants trickled in, the remaining trio found themselves placing the paperwork aside, feigning ignorance. Month after month they emptied their pockets a little more to cover the extra expense of the empty room. And month after month they kept silent about the way things had changed, not mentioning how much easier it would be if they just got it over with already and picked a new roommate.
But that room remained empty.
Until suddenly things began showing up there—broken furniture, old clothes, never used Christmas gifts…Jess' feeling sticks. In a silent and unanimous decision the loft went back to its original and intended three-person tenancy.
Cece was also gone.
She had left, stating she was traveling abroad for a few weeks, combining both work and family visits. Before she had went away she had given Schmidt a letter. Jess wasn't exactly sure what was in it but she was pretty sure it only further reiterated Cece's firm stance on any future relationship with him. Once, when she had asked Cece about it as she was packing an ungodly amount of suitcases for her supposed six week hiatus, Cece had gotten a far away look in her eyes and had mentioned something about growing up. Before she had gotten out of Jess' car at the airport to board her plane before leaving, she had given Jess a tight hug, telling her to have fun, and letting her know she loved her and to look out for Schmidt. Jess had drove home, with the oddest feeling in her belly, wondering if maybe Cece wasn't just traveling and working but maybe had finally caved and was allowing her mother to arrange a marriage for her. She had been acting strange, almost panicked, with her ticking baby clock constantly reminding her that time was running out. But she had felt stupid almost immediately and had quickly banished the thought to the back of her mind.
Four weeks later the wedding announcement came in the mail.
Schmidt didn't leave his room for almost two days after. Jess and Nick did their best to give him what he needed—space. They only entered his room to bring food, or in Nick's case alcohol. Sometimes they silently sat, offering support, knowing it was too soon to say anything. What do you say when the person you love marries someone else?
So Jess said nothing, she held his hand, combed her fingers through his uncharacteristically mussed up hair, and provided him with quiet, steady comfort. It didn't help that she was just as shocked, and while she didn't want to make it about herself, she felt betrayed. Saddened and hurt she kept her feelings to herself, watching as Schmidt drank his sorrows away, his cool blue eyes glazed and empty, his zest for life dimmed.
It didn't last long.
Almost too quickly Schmidt went back to 'normal Schmidt' parading Play Boy Bunny like women through the house, sleeping with them and then sending them on their way. But even though his actions appeared typical, there was a playfulness missing about them. Jess tried to talk about it with Nick but he pushed her comments away, telling her to mind her own business and to let Schmidt be. She resented him for that, upset that he wasn't being a good friend, that he didn't care enough. And so one night a few weeks after the Cece ordeal, she cornered him in the kitchen and told him as much. It wasn't long before they were screaming at each other, he had her back pressed against the counter and she was holding her ground defiantly shouting back up at him. And the familiar feelings of lust began stirring deep within, feelings that she'd been denying for what seemed like forever now. He was fighting it too, that much was obvious. She knew that while he was hovering over her with flashing eyes and an angry scowl that he was suppressing the urge to hoist her up onto that counter and fuck her senseless. And she almost dared him to do just that. Her underwear suddenly going damp with the mere thought of it. But then Schmidt came home, and seeing them with heaving chests, red faces, and irritated grimaces, shook his head before walking towards his room.
But not before Jess noticed two things.
Just behind the annoyance that was clear on Schmidt's face, she had seen interest…desire. And just behind the irritation in Nick's gaze she had seen both regret and lust.
Both left her standing in the kitchen, thinking, about what she had seen…just thinking.
She began paying more attention to Schmidt. His eyes lingered on her more and more, he seemed to watch with keen interest whenever she happened to be in the same room as Nick, and considering they lived together, it happened often. She thought back to their almost moment, what seemed like a lifetime ago, on his birthday when he had tried to kiss her. Curious she wondered if something had always been there for him. Had he always desired her? But because she was just cute and quirky Jess, lovely Cece's best friend, had he just easily pushed those feelings and desires aside.
But now with Cece out of the picture…
Did he still desire her had he ever in the first place? His cloudy blue eyes stated yes, maybe he did, maybe he always had. The way they held hers when he came out of his room, dressed sharp in his suit and tie, adjusting his gelled hair with long, clever fingers. But her curiosity with Schmidt was momentarily put on hold. Not long after it had reared its head and had her considering some long buried possibilities, Nick caught her coming out of the bathroom after a shower.
'That's a short towel." he commented, raking her over with dark eyes.
Sick of the long, carefully played, drawn-out dance they had been doing for years now, and going with impulse she waited patiently as he finished his steady unblinking study of her barely clad figure. When he brought his eyes back up to hers, she held them boldly. With a small smirk, she dropped her short towel; the silence was so loud it was almost deafening as it fell to the floor at her feet. He said nothing, only allowed his eyes to absorb the sight of her naked body. And then finally…he fucked her. Right there in the hallway. Almost as quickly as she had dropped her towel he had dropped his pants, backing her up against the wall and pushing into her with almost violent pent-up sexual frustration.
And it was as simple as that.
After that they were a thing. They fell into a steady and smooth routine. They slept together, they continued to bicker and fight, they ate meals together, they spent their free time together.
And they fucked all the time, in the living room, the kitchen, his room, her room, the newly dubbed storage room.
Once, when Jess was looking for some cleaning supplies and found a stash of her feeling sticks hiding underneath one of the boxes, enraged, she yelled at him, annoyed that he had hidden them there, informing him that the production of feeling sticks was not only costly but timely.
Pulling the ruined sticks out from under the box of Christmas decorations she frowned, "these are useless now Nick," with a pout she crossed her arms over her chest, "you're going to pay for this."
He laughed clearly amused by her distress, "how exactly do you plan on getting your revenge?" he asked her casually as he settled down on a worn chair in the back of the room.
Turning a sparkly stick over in her hand she grinned feeling suddenly evil and sauntering over to him, crawled onto his lap, flicking his pants open she grabbed his already half stiff dick and rode him hard and unrelentingly until she had him begging, withering, and coming beneath her.
Sweaty and exhausted they stumbled out of the room, somewhat surprised to see a tense Schmidt standing over the sink in the kitchen, his spine ramrod straight, his hands wrapped so tightly around a glass of water that the knuckles were white and quivering with the concentrated effort.
He had heard them
And Jess felt her wetness increase at the thought.
"Sorry."
She heard Nick mutter the words quietly, but curiously she glanced up at him, and as he looked away from Schmidt and met her gaze she felt her eyes widened and nearly gasped. Something hot and wanting burned in his eyes. He liked it. He liked that Schmidt had heard them, that he knew exactly what had gone on in that room, and thinking back, she thought about all of the times he had insisted on fucking her when Schmidt was home, eliciting hot passionate cries from her that he refused to silence with hot kisses but instead seemed rather intent on drawing from her, ensuring that she was heard.
Just the week before when Schmidt had come home from work and they had been sitting on the couch watching a movie, Nick had gone down on her right there in the living room, almost the minute Schmidt had stepped into the bathroom to take a shower. With his head between her legs, licking and sucking, she had come hard, both nervous and excited by the thought of Schmidt catching them. In the middle of the night not too long ago, he had woken her up with his dick buried deep inside of her, she had gasped at the intrusion and barely giving her time to adjust, he had fucked her hard, demanding she scream his name when she came, telling her he wouldn't stop until she did. She had come with a throaty cry, Nick's name tumbling from her lips. And she knew that Schmidt was lying in bed, most likely listening to the sounds of Nick fucking her hard and mercilessly. And just the other day, when she had had her lips wrapped around his cock, Nick's grunts and groans had gotten progressively louder when the sound of the apartment door opening and closing sounded through his bedroom door. And thinking about this, she found herself considering the possibilities. It wasn't that she thought Nick desired Schmidt himself, it was something else…something more than that.
Then again, maybe she was looking too deeply into everything.
Regardless, she couldn't help it, and more than once, Nick caught her staring at their obviously lonely roommate, her eyes hungrily running down the length of his long and lean body. Whether or not Nick desired him, she knew she couldn't deny the fact that there was a large part of her that did. Especially since Cece had changed him… broken him. At first it had only been an urge to comfort and take care of him, but as things changed in the loft, those friendly urges had turned into something different. And it became harder to resist after the storage room incident.
It wasn't long before Nick acknowledged her wandering eyes.
It was a normal routine morning and usually she barely batted an eye when completely rumpled and satisfied looking women came stumbling from Schmidt's room, looking to make a quick exit. On this particular morning, she stirred her coffee and watched as a brunette searched for her shoes by the door, almost laughing when she nearly fell on her ass trying to balance her weight while putting on three-inch heels. Continuing to watch the scene, Jess caught her lip between her teeth, unconsciously clenching her thighs together as she considered the activities that had just taken place behind Schmidt's door. More than a few times the night before, she had heard muffled moans and creaking springs. It had disrupted her sleep, leaving her restless and somewhat miserable. Hearing a quiet cough, she turned her attention from Schmidt's latest conquest and her eyes met Nick's. As they held each other's stares, his mouth tilted into an odd little smile and coolly he looked her up and down with a raised brow, before meeting her eyes again, staring at her with silently amused acceptance.
That night he hovered over her, so close to burying himself inside her, but stubbornly refusing her the pleasure.
"Do you think about him?" he asked her, his fingers stroking the side of her face in a gentle almost loving gesture.
"Who?" She breathed knowing full well who he was talking about.
Nick gave her a tight grin, "Schmidt, do you think about him when I'm inside of you? Do you wonder what it would be like?"
Shocked, she shook her head furiously, "no." she breathed out and gasped as he moved himself against her slowly, still refusing her the satisfaction of entering her.
"Don't lie to me," he gritted out, his dick brushing her clit; he was toying with her.
"I'm not," she said quietly and her voice wavered with the lie.
Nick shook his head, "tell me you do Jess. Tell me you think about him fucking you. Tell me you want to know what it would be like to have his dick inside you."
"No." she whispered, even as she grew wetter with his filthy words.
"Tell me." He demanded pushing the tip of himself into her. "Tell me you think about him when I'm fucking you, tell me you pretend its him."
"Oh God," she sobbed quietly; afraid she would come with his taboo words before he even fully pushed into her.
"Yeah you like that Jess don't you? You like thinking about him. I want you to pretend it's him fucking you right now. When my dick goes into you, I want you to close your eyes and imagine it's him stretching you, filling you. And when I come you're going to pretend it's his come dripping down your thighs."
"Yes." She whispered giving herself over to the decadent words "Oh God yes, fuck me!"
With a strangled almost garbled groan Nick slammed into her…he fucked her, the force with which he entered her drawing a sharp cry from her followed by a long appreciative moan. As he moved he looked down at her intently.
"You like that? You like being fucked by him?"
She gasped in pleasure shaking her head yes and apparently almost crazed by lust and the game they were playing, he pushed into her harder.
"Say his name. I want him to hear you."
"Nick no!"
"Say it Jess."
Before she could answer he began driving into her quick, with short stunted movements and then just as she was getting used to the new pace, changed to slow and deep unhurried pulses, alternating between the two paces, driving her crazy.
"Scream it Jess. He's laying there listening to me fuck you. Scream his name."
"No."
But she could feel her walls tighten as he hovered over her with his raunchy request.
"You know you want to. He's probably stroking himself listening to you, imagining what it would be like to fuck you."
"Oh God."
"That's it baby. Think about it. Think about how he wants you. Think about how he wishes he could fuck you. Do you think he pretends all those women are you? You think he makes them pretend to be you? You want me to let him? Do you want him to make you come?
"Yes, yes, yes!"
She came hard with a gasp, sobbing both Nick and Schmidt's name, not caring that Nick was probably right, that Schmidt was probably laying in bed listening to them, and he most likely could hear her choked cries. There was no denying she had screamed his name but she didn't care. She let the orgasm sweep over her body fast, imagining Schmidt gripping himself and coming with her as she rode it out and noting when Nick grunted and rested his head in the crook of her shoulder, equally as exhausted. Satisfied, he rolled off her and pulled her to him, tucking her close to his side and kissing her gently.
"You're beautiful," he whispered in her ear, and she smiled, the shock of their intense sex faded away as she snuggled closer to him.
The next morning, Jess greeted Schmidt in the kitchen with a tentative smile and a warm blush. He tensed at her presence and avoided her eyes. When Nick joined them, Schmidt muttered something about work and quickly left. Her heart sank, maybe it had been too much, hearing them, what they had said and done, and guilty she looked over at Nick who merely smirked at her, and kissed her sweetly on the head, before offering to make them both breakfast.
The next few days dragged by, the atmosphere of the loft tense and unclear. Nick seemed unaffected by the obvious shift in the loft dynamic, but Jess couldn't help but wonder if maybe they had forced a wedge between them. Schmidt was working later and later, and when he did come home either brought company or went straight to his room avoiding interaction. Nick continued to act as if it wasn't a big deal, and reassured Jess with gentle kisses and soothing touches.
Their sex life didn't suffer from it, that's for sure, and while it didn't happen all the time, Schmidt was brought up frequently in the bedroom.
"Would it bother you?" Jess asked Nick, one night when lying in his arms drawing tiny circles in the fabric of his grey t-shirt.
"What?"
She shifted closer to him and tilted her head up slightly so she could see his face, taking note of the dark stubble that decorated his olive skin, appreciating the masculine and rugged appeal it gave him. "Schmidt and I together, would it bother you if I slept with him?"
She felt him tense under her arms, and frowned, wondering if maybe she had misunderstood the game. As a stiff silence overwhelmed them, Jess held her breath, confused by the events that had taken place in their bedroom, and Nick's reaction to her question. And then suddenly he relaxed, and shook his head slowly.
"No."
A week later she found herself alone in the apartment while Nick worked a late shift. She was sitting on the couch watching You've Got Mail, when Schmidt came home, walking into the apartment alone, unaccompanied by one of his usual floozies. Seeing Jess by herself, he flashed her a tight smile and his eyes caught hers briefly, causing her stomach to sink by the tired loneliness shining in their depths.
Scooting over, she shyly patted the couch cushion next to her, "come here." she said softly, with a small smile.
Schmidt stared at her, something passed over his features, something that made her heart break while also causing it to speed up in rapid pace "I shouldn't," he said unconvincingly.
"I want you to."
He glanced briefly towards the hallway before sighing with resignation and making his way over to her. When he settled next to her, she turned to face him, moving closer to him, she watched as his jaw clenched and his posture went rigid.
"You've heard us."
"What?"
"Nick and I, in the bedroom, you've heard us."
"Yes."
"Does it upset you?"
"No."
"Do you like it?"
There was a long pause. The silence drew out, and his heavy breathing mingled with hers.
"Yes."
"Schmidt?"
"Yeah?"
"Look at me."
Up until that point she had only been staring at his profile, his eyes were focused on the wall across from them, refusing to meet her gaze. At her request he sighed and turned toward her slowly and Jess found herself smiling gently into his clear blue eyes.
"I want you," she said it simply, the admission freeing something inside of her.
"Jess—"
"I do, Schmidt I've wanted it for awhile, and I think you do to."
"But Nick—"
"Shhhh." she leaned over and stroked the side of his face, feeling butterflies come to life in her belly as her hands shook with the action. "shhhh, it's okay."
"I can't do that to him."
"He wants it too."
"How—"
She shook her head, "Schmidt, I promise, it's fine, we all want this."
She waited patiently, watching as he warred with his emotions. His features were contorted into a pained expression, as if it physically hurt him to consider the possibility. And then something flashed in his eyes, acceptance, desire, appreciation, and he smiled, a quick smile, one that she had feared was forever gone, she hadn't seen it for so long, and in the blink of an eye, pulled her to him and kissed her.
She hadn't expected it with him. With Nick when finally they had both given into their desires it had felt like coming home, it had felt so right. But they had been playing around that slow burning attraction for ages, the build up had always been there. With Schmidt everything had kinda come out of the blue, suddenly and unexpectedly sneaking up on her. So how could it feel this way with Schmidt too? How could she feel the same sense of contentment and completeness?
Leaning into him, she explored his mouth with her tongue, gently stroking the contours, seeking out the answers to her many questions.
He didn't give her any, not with words, but he did take her further into his arms and kissed her deeply, more thoroughly. When finally they both pulled back, she knew her face was flushed from the physical and emotional excursion. She wasn't the only one reeling; his eyes were glazed over, looking slightly wild and crazed with passion.
"Are you sure Jess?"
She was pretty positive she hadn't ever been surer about anything in her entire life.
"Yes."
Apparently the simple word was all he needed to hear because he flashed her that long missed grin, and then he was pushing her backwards, laying her down on the couch. Where her first time with Nick had been fast and almost frantic, Schmidt took his time. Undressing her slowly, adoringly. Kissing every inch of skin he exposed. He stripped her down until she was laying beneath him naked and waiting and the look he gave her was so full of emotion, she felt her eyes water with tears. She had never felt so precious and beautiful as she did at that moment with Schmidt looking down at her with kind and crystal clear blue eyes. When he took her it was slow and gentle, and calmness took over her body, mind, and spirit, and suddenly everything was right with the world. Things shifted and clicked into place, and everything made sense. And she knew as he thrust into her, paying close attention to what made her gasp and moan, that she loved them both, and that it was okay, that everything was happening as it was supposed to.
She came whispering his name, throwing her arms around his neck, knowing he was watching her expression, knowing he was holding back his own pleasure until she had finished with hers, and when he finally let go, she held him still, murmuring soft encouraging words of endearment.
"This feels okay," Schmidt whispered into her skin as she stroked his hair.
"That's because it is." She said simply.
When Nick came home that night she gave Schmidt a small smile, and disappeared into Nick's room, noticing how Schmidt's eyes lingered on them as the door closed. As Nick tiredly undressed from a long day on his feet, Jess sat on his bed, watching him carefully.
"I slept with Schmidt today."
He paused in the act of unbuttoning his flannel. "You did?"
"Yes."
"And."
"And I think I'm in love with both of you."
Nick stared at her quietly for a moment, "come here," he whispered softly.
She stood and padded over to him, her heart pounded with anxiety. "I didn't think you would mind, for some reason…I thought it was okay."
When she stopped in front of him, Nick cupped her face in his hands and kissed her deeply. "It is."
He made love to her that night, slowly and gently and when she came it was just him that she saw; only his name that she cried out.
They fell into an unconventional routine, she loved them both madly, deeply, unconditionally, and they accepted it without question. She alternated between sleeping in Nick's arms and crawling into Schmidt's bed, both welcoming her always and never denying her, they wrapped her in tight protective embraces, holding her close. Schmidt's spark came back into his twinkling blue eyes; humor more frequently laced his tone. He and Nick easily sat together watching sports programs or stupid action movies with not even a hint of awkwardness or jealously. They still ragged on each other, Nick scowled and sighed at Schmidt's choice in attire and food, and Schmidt groaned and winced at Nick's rumpled state and beer collection. As she had suspected before, it wasn't that they desired each other; there was something deeper, more primal. But she did believe it aroused both of them to think of her with the other…to see her with the other.
At first they kept their relationships entwined but separate. She was only intimate with them one on one. They frequently talked about the other, wanting to know what she did when she was in the others arms, until one night when she came home slightly drunk from a night out with Sadie and she saw them watching some boxing match while drinking a couple of beers, she realized how ridiculous that was.
Stepping in front of the TV she placed her hands on her hips, "I'm twirly."
She saw the blank looks of confusion pass over their faces. They never really talked about their relationship all together. Acknowledged it sure, accepted it of course, but talk about it…not really.
"Um okay," Nick raised an eyebrow, while Schmidt shifted uncomfortably next to him.
"I want both of you."
"Okay."
"Together. Now."
"I don't do other guys." Schmidt stated, placing his hands in the air.
"I'm not asking you to. What I am asking you to do is to be with me…together." She smirked, as their eyes grew wide with the dawning of realization.
"Oh."
Her smirk grew, "ohhhh, is right." Placing her hands to the side of her dress she began to tug the zipper down. "Now who's gonna join me?"
Walking towards her bedroom she shot a look over her shoulder feeling the steady thrill of victory rush through her as she saw them both get up from their places on the couch.
It was the most amazing sex of her life.
Their hands were everywhere at once, the feel of their caresses nearly too much to stand. They undressed her slowly, her heart beating fast as Nick tugged her underwear down and Schmidt lifted her dress over her head. The heat of Nick's hands molding her breasts while Schmidt feathered kisses up her thigh caused her to cry out while she waited with bated breath for the moment she had been building up in her head for some time now.
They laid her down on the bed, and she couldn't believe how good it felt when Schmidt pushed a finger into her and stretched her, fingering her until she was close to coming but stopping just before she did. It was almost too much to take when Nick entered her, and she locked eyes with Schmidt as he watched him fuck her in front of him. Never taking her eyes off him, she moaned and whimpered as Nick drove her into a frenzy, shaking the bed with his movements as Schmidt stood off to the side, only an arms reach away. When he began stroking himself at the sight and sounds of her being thoroughly fucked, she glanced up at Nick, seeing that his eyes were flashing back and forth between both her and Schmidt.
"Come here," she rasped unsteadily and moaned as Nick slowed his pace.
Pushing Nick off of her she ignored his grunt of protest and flipping over got on her hands and knees flashing him a smile over her shoulder and a slight nod. Without hesitation he began fucking her from behind, digging his fingers into her hips, and gripping her tightly. Meeting Schmidt's gaze she gave him an enticing smile, watching as he walked over to her, and when he was standing right in front of her, she reached out and grabbed his cock, taking it into her mouth without hesitation and moaning deeply as Nick began pounding harder into her from behind.
Their heavy breathing, grunts, groans, and whimpers mixed together and the air was thick and moist with the smell of sex and arousal. Schmidt held onto her head tightly as it bobbed up and down on his dick, and Nick gripped her with bruising strength as he continued to thrust into her. It was the most intense and amazing moment of her life. When she could take no more, when she could feel herself begin to lose it, she began sucking Schmidt off with more enthusiastic and wild vigor. And when she felt him tense and begin to pull out, she shook her head and moved her mouth up and down the length of him, moaning and coming hard as he grabbed a fistful of her hair and came in her mouth. Her moan quickly turned into a cry as she struggled to swallow and Nick continued to fuck her hard from behind, but enjoying the grunts and groans both men were giving her, she refused to tear her mouth away, and just when she thought she couldn't take anymore, Nick pushed into her one last time before coming himself, the wetness running down her quivering thighs as he collapsed onto and Schmidt stumbled away from her.
Soon after, it wasn't an unusual occurrence for them to be intimate together. They would take their turns on her, both of them enjoying watching the other have their way with her in different erotic positions. They were an odd little trio but it worked.
And they were happy.
They grew up.
Nick decided with some gentle and not so gentle prodding from both her and Schmidt to take a loan out and buy a bar, she and Schmidt both became co-signers after a long drawn out argument.
Schmidt advanced quickly at his job, getting promoted fast and often once he became more serious about his work and less serious about sleeping around.
And Jess stayed content as a teacher, enjoying her work just as she had before.
Occasionally she received an email and phone call from Cece; they gave vague details about her life. She had married a wealthy businessman, a friend of the family, and was often off traveling with her husband. They were expecting a child later that year. Whenever Schmidt read one of her letters, he would smile tightly, smooth a hand over Jess' hair, and whisper that he loved her in her ear before giving her a sweet gentle kiss.
Often they hung out with Winston and Shelby and although they never questioned it, they seemed to sense a change in their relationship.
Somehow as strange and unusual as it seemed, they were better this way.
About a year and a half later, she was alone in the loft when a knock sounded at the door. Trudging over to it she opened it hoping that it was the pizza she had ordered and wondering if they had thrown in extra marinara sauce liked she had requested. When she found herself standing face to face with Cece, her mouth dropped open in shock.
"Hey." Cece said, her arms full of a wiggling and squirming baby.
"Oh my gosh Cece!" Forgetting about the slight bitterness and sense of betrayal that always seemed to sneak up on her whenever she thought about the friend who had left so quickly and suddenly to embark on life changing adventures without the support and guidance of her life long friend and partner in crime, she embraced the former model, hugging around the small child that she held in her arms.
"Cece! Come in! Come in!"
Ushering her into the loft, she closed the door behind her and turned to her old friend, who looked quite radiant holding the tiny baby girl dressed in pink and yellow.
"I can't stay long, I'm actually on my way out."
Hurt sliced through Jess painfully, and while she had a million questions, mainly what she was doing in town and why she hadn't told her sooner, she only nodded and gave her a bright smile. "How are you?"
Cece smiled with a soft warmness, "I'm good Jess," her eyes glistened as she held her eyes, "you look good."
Jess smiled and walking towards her glanced down at her baby, a lump forming in her throat as she stared at the smiling girl. She hated that this child, daughter of her one time closest friend, had no clue who she was. "I am good. Is this your baby? She's gorgeous."
Cece beamed, "yes, this is Olivia. " And pausing, she caught Jess' eye as she looked up from making the baby giggle and shriek with tickles and funny faces, "I'm so sorry for leaving the way I did."
Forcing a smile, Jess waited for the anger to come, but unable to find it, shrugged slightly. "I was mad for awhile…up until I just a few seconds ago really." She laughed softly, no bitterness was laced in it, only gentle recognition. "I'm still hurt I think but," she looked down at the little girl. "But sometimes we have to do what we think is best for ourselves, sometimes, we have to take a leap, even if others don't agree. You did what you thought you had to do at the time, I wish you would have confided in me more, but what's done is done, I just hope you're happy."
Eyes glistening with tears, Cece nodded, her gaze drifting to her daughter. "I am, I married a good man, I have a beautiful daughter, I'm happy. But I miss you and—and how's Schmidt?"
Jess bit her lip, her face growing hot as her friend looked at her expectantly. "He's…um…he's good. We're good." She said it slowly, drawing it out purposely.
Cece stared at her a moment until realization dawned across her attractive face. "You? And him?"
Uncomfortable, Jess shrugged. "Things changed after you left."
"You're happy?"
"Very."
"And him?" her voice came out soft, almost wistful.
"I think so."
Catching her in a glimmering dark gaze, Cece stared at her hard. "What about Nick I always thought you secretly had a thing for him?"
Feeling her face grow even hotter she looked away. "He's good too. He's happy…with us. He's happy with us." She said the last part fast, hoping she was clear with her statement.
"With you?"
She looked her in the eye. "With us."
Cece's eyes widened as she caught on to what Jess was eluding to and raising a hand to her head squeezed gently, as if she was unable to take the images that the statement brought with it. "Oh…ohhhh."
"Yeah."
"I—wow."
It was the first time she had really ever told anyone about their relationship; it wasn't that they were ashamed but why deal with the obvious judgment? People just wouldn't get that they were better together.
"That's surprising."
"We're better this way," she told her, believing it with all her heart.
There was a long pause; only Olivia's soft garbles broke up the unsteady and uncomfortable atmosphere.
"I believe it."
Jess glanced up at Cece, surprised, "What?"
"I believe it, that you guys are better, that somehow it's right."
Shocked Jess tilted her head to the side, "you do?"
Cece chuckled softly, "you look happy Jess, you seem better. So yeah I believe it, and and I'm happy for you. Really."
"You are?"
"It's nice knowing that two people I love are happy."
She felt the warm feeling of acceptance sink in, and grateful shot Cece a smile. "Thank you."
They chatted for a bit, catching up on year's worth of stories, conversations, and gossip. She asked Cece to stay for dinner, but glancing at the clock she shook her head, whether she was keeping tabs on her departing flight or Schmidt's work schedule, Jess wasn't sure. She gave her friend a firm hug as she left, asking her to visit and knowing Cece's tight smile and quick nod was a definite no. And closing the door behind her, she frowned, feeling a deep and longing ache settling in her gut, and missing her boys, she walked into the kitchen and made them a dinner fit for kings.
Later that night after they were all stuffed and lying contentedly on the couch, Nick stoking her hair as Schmidt toyed with the cuff of her jeans, she let her eye lids drift closed and smiling into the darkness that greeted her, she murmured to the men in her life that she loved them. When she heard their absent and affectionate replies she smiled sleepily.
They were better this way.
Fin.