Chapter 1
Have you ever loved someone so much you had to let them go? Well, I have and let me tell you, it is not the easiest thing to do. There is this girl, her name is Jude, you might have heard of her. She is Jude Harrison, Instant Star.
We meet when we were five years old. We went to kindergarten together and have always been in the same class or had at least two classes together. We use to hate each other; we pulled all kinds of pranks on one another. You might think pranks, what is the big deal, well, we were pretty bad. Then things we did to one another was awful, I actually once locked her in a locker, but of course she retaliated, I think it ended up with her locking me in a closet at school with a gay guy she told that I liked him. Or maybe it was the time she took a pair of handcuff and chained me to the flag pole in mid winter. I don't remember which but you get the idea.
Well, when we were fifteen, she entered this silly singing contest, I didn't think she would win, but she did. Actually, she was awesome. Her best friend Jamie managed to talk me and my two friends Kyle Bateman and Wally Robbins into managing our band. Then a month later, he asked us to by Jude's back up. Jude and I agreed to put our differences aside and become a band. We got to go on tour with her.
On that tour, I feel in love with her. I couldn't have her of course. She was dating Jamie, her best friend turned boyfriend. We had a blast on tour and really bonded. By the end of the tour, we were really close. We of course still joked with each other and played pranks on one another, but there was more there. People said we had this kind of chemistry on stage and no one could replicate it. She eventually broke up with Jamie because he lost the job as the band manager and Jude wasn't too helpful in getting it back.
Well, after a month of hard core flirting, well more joking then anything. We finally one night after a fight and some name calling worked it out. We became a couple. I thought things were great. We of course did have the occasional fight, like the when she was nominated for Peeps Pick, but I won't go there. On her seventeenth birthday, I realized I was second and probably could never have her whole heart. She had a thing, well more like an obsession, for her producer, Tom Quincy.
Tom Quincy, formerly Little Tommy Q of Boyz Attack, was the main focus of Jude. She was in love with him but wouldn't admit it. He was too old for her but she could care less. They shared several moments, but Tommy always managed to hurt her, and really hurt her. The night of her second record release party, he stood her up and ran off with some guy. He was gone for eight months, no contact or anything. He actually returned just three weeks ago. He supposedly returned to be here for Jude's eighteenth birthday, which is a month away.
Of course, Jude is happy he is here and she has skipped school to be with him. He is the reason Jude and I are no longer Jude and I. She was always concerned with him; she even refused to kiss me just so she could take his phone calls. I knew I was loosing Jude to Tommy and I couldn't let myself get hurt anymore. Catching them together, on a couch locked in an apartment hurt enough. I knew she wanted to be with him. Breaking up with her was hard; it took everything in me to not show how heart broken I was.
Now we are friend, great friends. She thinks that it is only friendship, but I still love her. I really love her, but I don't tell her. Kyle, Wally, Jamie, Sadie, and Mason all know I still love her, even though I deny it. A month or two after the breakup I finally talked to her. She told me how she wanted to be friends and all, that I was too important to her to loose. So of course, I said let's put the past in the past. I figured being her friend was better then nothing. We have had a lot of fun together. I enjoy her presence.
I spend a lot of time with her, actually, I spend more time with Jude now then I did when we were going out. I can't kiss her though, that would be more then friends, I miss that. We have great times together. She tells me everything now, I trust her and she trust me. On weekends we will hang out at 620, write songs or just jam. Kyle and Wally join on occasions. There are nights that we fall asleep there. Her dad even allows me to stay the night with them whenever I please. Some nights I just stay there to be in her presence. I love Jude Harrison and I always will. I wish she could see how I feel for her, but like that will ever happen. She has one guy on her mind, and that is Tom Quincy.
Maybe someday, Jude will see what is right in front of her, or so I hope. For now, I am just that guy friend that is always there. I want the one I can't have.