A/N: Hey everyone. So as I was reading through I never really found a story that examined a BuckyXCapXNat relationship from all four angles throughout their lives so I decided to write one. It's not perfectly cannon and I had to re-arrange some things in the actual movie story lines to make it work the way I needed, but I hope y'all enjoy. As always, please heed warnings this only for mature audiences, and I own nothing.

Part 1

Chapter 1: Brooklyn

Bucky had been working his second job at the docks and the sun was setting as he walked home tattered empty lunch bag in one hand and the rest of his week's pay spent in a pharmacy bag in the other. He as only a couple of blocks from the apartment he shared with Steve so it really shouldn't have come as a surprise when he heard a familiar voice say, "Is that all you've got?"

"God damn it Punk." He muttered turning the corner into a nearby alley as he heard the unmistakeable sound of flesh on flesh. Steve let out a harsh cough as the punch caught him in the stomach which set off a series of wheezing coughs and gasps even as Bucky took the larger man by the back of the collar and hauled him off of his smaller friend. Three swift punches to the larger man's diaphragm and a swift kick to the outside of the left knee sent the bigger man stumbling away as Bucky bodily threw him from the alley kicking the meds he had dropped and the empty lunch bag closer to where Steve lay crumpled to reduce the risk of loosing them as he looked Steve over.

"Hey, hey, slow breaths, in through the nose, come on Punk, just like the doc said, calm down, I've got you." Bucky said lifting Steve into a half sitting position so that he was leaning back against him and brushing the hair off of Steve's thin face.

Steve choked and wheezed as the coughing fit continued, but slowly he began to settle only to have his aggressor dip back into the alley yelling "Faggot fucking fairies". Steve jerked forward as if to leap at the man again, but Bucky held him back, laying him down on the cement of the alley gently before rising up and punching the man's lights out.

"Come on Punk, can you stand?" Bucky asked supporting Steve's thin body as he pulled him to his feet. His cheekbone was already bruising, and he knew that his abdominal muscles would likely be purple before they woke the next morning.

Steve nodded standing the best he could despite the wheezing and hacking and said though gasping breaths, "I was fine Buck."

Bucky snorted and, gathering the rest of his stuff, said "Of course you were Punk."

Back in their tiny apartment Steve collapsed into a rickety chair, is minuscule frame the only thing that prevented it from fracturing at the force. Bucky knelt before him brushing the shaggy blond hair back out of his clear blue eyes and wiping street grime off his cheek. "What happened Punk?" He asked softly, gently bushing a thumb over Steve's bruised cheekbone as he knelt on the floor between the smaller man's knees.

"He had that old alley cat cornered and was kicking her, you know the grey tabby." Steve defended, "I was helping Mrs. Winslow with that rickety little radio she likes so much, a wire got loose again and she asked me to have a look at it, and when I was coming back he was just standing there kicking the cat for no reason."

Bucky wanted to yell, and hit something, and cry all at once. Instead he just drew Steve to him tucking his shaggy blond head against his broad chest and said, "I will never forgive you if you get killed over a cat Punk" before kissing the top of his head and letting him go to take out the medicines he had bought at the pharmacy.

"Well I'll never forgive myself if I just let some man beat up a sweet old innocent cat like that." Steve responded stubbornly looking over the meds as Bucky pulled them out of the bag, "Besides, you heard what he called us, he wasn't exactly a nice man."

Bucky stopped in his movements praying for patients before saying, "No Punk, he wasn't a very nice man, that's why you should have stayed away from him." Steve opened his mouth to argue, but Bucky intervened by covering it with his own. The chair let out a creaking protest as Bucky leaned his hands on its back on either side of Steve's head, but he was too wrapped up in what he was doing to care. He kissed Steve throughly until he heard his breathing become uneven and labored and knew it was time to stop for fear of causing even more respiratory stress to the asthmatic with pneumonia. "Besides," Bucky asked a millimeter from Steve's ear as he caught his breath, "was he wrong?"

"No." Steve admitted voice quavering a little as Bucky pushed himself off of the chair careful not to break it.

With a sigh Bucky sat once again at the foot of the chair looking up at Steve and said, "I need you to be more careful Steve."

Steve perked up inspecting the serious look in his eyes and the use of his given name and waited for what was to come. With another deep sigh Bucky leaned forward and pulled an envelope out of his back pocket setting it on Steve's knee. "Is… is that…" Steve's voice and hand shook slightly as he reached forward and took the sealed envelope off his keep.

"Ya" was all Bucky could say. His mouth had gone dry and his heart was pumping twice as hard as it needed to, but at the moment all he could see was the pain and fear in Steve's eyes. "I didn't want to open it until I was home… with you, but it's a draft letter."

He saw the look in Steve's eyes go from shock, to pain, to sadness, to sheer determination and knew he wouldn't like what was coming. "Then I'll volunteer." Steve asserted, "We'll find out which regiment you'll be in and I'll go to a volunteer station and try to get stationed in the same regiment." He said voice and eyes hard.

"No Punk, come on, we've talked about this. You need to stay here. I'll be making more than I am now. I'll send everything back. I'll even see if I can get the pharmacy-keeper's daughter to deliver your meds and some food from the market next door so you don't have to go out when you're not feeling well and we'll save the rest. When I get back, we' get a bigger place on a bunch of land where no one cares what we do." Bucky promised trying desperately to hang a bigger carrot in front of Steve's face than serving his country and knowing that he was failing miserably.

"No Buck, I can help."

"Steve, it won't work. You'd be disqualified on your asthma alone."

"You don't even know where you're posted yet, it could be an office job." Steve said, but the look they shared said they both knew where young able bodied men went in the middle of a war like this one.

"Steve…"

"Don't Steve me." Steve said heaving himself up letter in hand and rushing past him into their bathroom.

Bucky sat back on his hunches and stared up at the ceiling. He had considered enlisting of course. As soon as the call had gone out he had seen the recruiting stations and thought about stopping in, but… Steve. He wasn't sure what was going to happen to him when he was gone and now that he was about to find out… all he wanted was to know he had something to come home to when this damn war was over.

Bucky moved quietly around the apartment throwing together something resembling dinner from the leftovers they had stashed away in their small fridge from the last two meals Steve had cooked. He wasn't completely sure that the noodles and broth from the night before last would go well with the chicken and canned veggies from last night, but it was what it was. By the time he was putting food on the table Steve had emerged from the bathroom eyes only slightly red and puffy with an open envelope in his hand. Bucky stopped mid-way towards putting the plate down looking at him, but Steve looked away embarrassed as he said, "I wanted to know, so I opened it, but I figured you probably aught to know first" and holding out the letter to him, papers still crisply folded inside.

Bucky wrapped his right arm around Steve's shoulders taking the letter with his left as he kissed the mop of blond hair at his shoulder, "Come on, we'll look at it together." He said leading Steve to the pair of chairs at the small round table that serviced them for meals.

He slid the packet of papers out of the thick envelope and opened them flat on the table for both of them to read scanning over them until he found what he was looking for, "107th." He breathed just as Steve groaned, "infantry".

Bucky smiled a little sadly and ruffled his hair as Steve let his head fall to the table, "We always knew that's what it would come down to if I was drafted Punk." He said softly as Steve murmured his resentful agreement into the wood of the tabletop.

Dinner was a somber and quiet affair, but they talked about what things would be like with Bucky gone and what Steve would need to do to keep things up and running. Bucky could tell that something more was bugging Steve, but he let him work through it knowing he would voice whatever it was when he was ready. After the dishes were done and the pair were getting ready to tuck into the small hand-me-down mattress they shared Steve hesitated before getting in bed and Bucky knew he was ready to say whatever had been on his mind.

He stood on the edge of the bed holding Bucky's hand, but refusing to get in. His voice, when it finally came out was small, but firm as he asked, "Buck, will you take me?" Bucky's breath came out in a huff as he leaned forward and pulled Steve into a strong kiss. The way that Steve was returning his kiss was anything but shy, but his hands trembled a little as he made to move closer to the bed and Bucky used a hand at his jaw to pull away slightly locking eyes with him so he wouldn't misunderstand what he was about to say, "Not tonight Punk," he said watching the smaller man's eyes fall and the pain of rejection start to fill them. Taking his chin in one hand so he couldn't look away he continued, "Not tonight Steve, but yes, we will try."

Steve's face lit clearly finding the terms if their agreement acceptable and leapt into his arms wrapping his thin legs around his torso. Bucky laughed at the little koala who had wrapped himself around him and began kissing Steve's fave and shoulders, pretty much anywhere he could reach until they were both laughing playfully as they curled up side by side to sleep.

The two weeks between Bucky receiving his letter and his departure went quickly and as the end of the second week approached Bucky was happy to note that Steve's medications were finally taking effect and the pneumonia seemed to being dying down even if the asthma was an ever present threat to his health. Nor had Bucky forgotten about the promise he had made Steve. In fact, he was very much looking forward to it, but in the past they had always stopped short of moving their relationship too far due to worry for Steve's health. Even two years into their relationship, extended periods of holding his breath combined with an elevated heart rate and rough breathing from their physical exertions often left him in coughing fits and while Steve had hinted more than once about being interested in moving forward in their relationship physically, Bucky had never really felt pressed to take action like he did now.

He knew what people would think if they knew, what people did think just because they were room mates, but he had always expressed enough interest in dames and most of their neighbors knew how much care Steve needed, so they looked the other way. "Hey Punk, you ready to go meet up with those dames before we head to the Stark Expo?" Bucky said over his shoulder as he fixed his uniform and brushed back his hair one more time.

"Right, dames, sure." Steve said from the bed sounding utterly bored at the idea.

Bucky plopped down beside him making his small frame bounce on the bed a good six inches saying, "I thought you liked the dames Punk."

"Sure I like dames. Dames just don't like me. No one likes me. No one except you."

Bucky smiled sadly, "You know why we gotta go out with the dames Punk, people are already getting ideas, it's the only way to keep this up." He said leaning in and giving Steve a quick kiss. Steve nodded and Bucky added, "Besides, I like dames." Chuckling at the exasperated look on Steve's face, "I like dames, but I love you. Don't you ever forget that ok Punk?" Steve smiled and kissed him warmly. Without breaking the kiss he leaned down the foot or so to the floor beside the bed and grabbed Steve's shoes handing them to him as he broke the kiss. Steve rolled his eyes at him for ruining the moment, but he just gave the smaller man a smile with a promise of later and went to fetch him a jacket.

They had planned on meeting the pair of dames that Bucky had picked up earlier that week down by the Expo, seeing it with them, and then taking them dancing. Steve had enjoyed walking around the Expo and seeing all of Mr. Stark's wonders, but neither of the dames were paying him any mind and the way they were hanging over Bucky was starting to make him loose his appetite. Bucky was trying to be gracious and gentlemanly towards them while keeping Steve in the loop as well, but every time he roped Steve into the conversation the older sister of the pair would squash poor Steve like a bug and he was too polite to do anything about it. So half way thought their evening, Bucky had escorted the dames to the dance hall leaving them with some friends and he and Steve had made their way back home.

"I'm sorry to ruin your last night out." Steve said looking downcast, "I tried talking with her sister, you know the nice one, but she kept asking about what it was like living with you and if I thought you would be getting your own place with all that extra money after the war and I just…"

"Hey, I don't care about them, come on. Let's get home and I'll show you how I really wanted to spend my last evening in Brooklyn." Bucky said with a wink and Steve blushed, but a smile met his eyes as he agreed.

Later, neither one of them would really know who started it, but once they were back at their apartment Bucky had bolted the door as Steve had turned to draw the thick privacy curtains closed on the only two windows in the apartment. Where they met back up in the hall Steve found himself pressed back into the wall as he all but climbed Bucky's larger frame to get a better angle at kissing him. Bucky chuckled as his uniform started hitting the floor and realized the Punk was beating him. Not one to fall behind his fingers began fumbling at the buttons on Steve's shirt only to have to release him to shed the shirt and jacket Steve had already unbuttoned and cast aside.

"Eager Punk?" Bucky asked and received a bite on the side of the jaw for his trouble.

"Hey, easy, calm down Punk. Just take it slow ok? We've got all night." Bucky shushed him smoothing his hair down and kissing him softly.

"Then I'll have you now and again later." Steve insisted kissing his way down his neck.

"Alright alright" Bucky said picking him up against his chest and letting him wrap his legs around his waist crying them to the bedroom. Bucky laid him down on the bed gently and knocked his hands away as he reached for the buttons at his shirt. Bucky unbuttoned the shirt one button at a time kissing his way down Steve's thin chest and lean stomach. When the last button was undone he pushed the shirt aside and kissed along the top of the other man's waistband stopping at to nibble to the tops of his hip bones making him squirm and whimper. Steve sat up briefly and divest himself of the shirt as Bucky slowly unbuckled his belt sliding it through the loops with exaggerated slowness always careful to pointedly ignore the clearly defined stiffness contained within his slacks.

Bucky smiled, he had the best damn view sitting between Steve's knees as he made teasing plays across his stomach and the tops of his slacks. The blond's head was thrown back with his eyes shut tight as he wriggled and squirmed at the teasing his face a distinct shade of pink with a bright red flush building under his cheekbones as his swollen red lips took short controlled gasps of breath.

When something finally pressed against his straining member it wasn't Bucky's hand, but his bare chest and abs as he pressed himself against him sliding up to kiss him once more. The zipper from his slacks cut into him uncomfortably, but he pressed up against him anyway needing to feel the friction from the hard chest and abs more than he cared about the pain from the stupid zipper.

"No more pants" he began to say, but he was cut off by Bucky's lips which took over his own demanding entrance and surrender from him the moment he started to battle back against him. This wasn't the first time they had been together in bed with their bare chests pressed against once another, in fact, they had done on all but the coldest nights for years, but never had their skin felt more alive with the simple sensation of skin on skin. Bucky carded his fingers though Steve's newly groomed hair noticing the shortness of it, but not minding overly since he had been the one to cut it earlier that morning.

Moving his hand between them Bucky undid the button and then the zipper on Steve's slacks letting his hand intentionally linger on his member as he tugged the zipper down. Steve groaned and reached out to do the same, but he couldn't reach from their position so Bucky undid his pants himself shuffling them down his legs as Steve did the same to his own. Finding it a bit ridiculous how hard it was to take pants off in bed without laying down, Bucky stood and let his pants drop before shrugging and letting his boxers follow as he saw Steve fling both of his offending garments halfway across the room in his haste to be rid of them.

Crawling back over Steve Bucky pulled him into another embraced both of them letting out a low moan when they were fully pressed together. Running a hand down his side as he kissed him Bucky tucked a hand behind Steve's left knee lifting it over his hip opening him to the probing fingers of Bucky's other hand. Steve gasped as his finger ran around his opening and something in the breath caught him wrong because Bucky heard the hoarse reverberation of his damaged lungs on the exhale as he struggled not to cough. "Hey, easy." He murmured retracing his hand and brushing hair off the blond's face gently. "It's alright, just breath for a second before we go on." Steve nodded eyes still shut tight as the wrapping and rattling in his lungs teetered on the edge of a coughing fit.

Bucky lifted him up in his arms so that Steve was sitting in his lap where he was kneeling on the bed and held him against his chest as he struggled to contain the coughing fit that would inevitably lead to an asthma attack if he let it get out of hand. Bucky rocked him softly, running his hand through the smaller man's hair as the coughing began. His heart sank as he heard the inflamed angry sound become fluid filled and desperate as Steve had to fight for each breath a little more. When his back muscle began to spasm from the coughing fit Bucky's firm fingers were there to massage it out, as he continued to hold the smaller man against him. When the coughing finally started to fade and all that was left were the shallow wrapping breaths as his damaged lungs tried to intake oxygen once more Bucky laid him down and curled up beside him brushing his golden locks of his sweaty forehead. It was clear that neither of them were in the mood anymore and in one of the rare instances that he had ever heard Steve truly curse in anger he smoothed the smaller man's hair and kissed his temple holding him close and promising that they could try again later.

Steve stayed up more than an hour after Bucky had fallen asleep holding him still cursing his inferior body from taking the best thing in his life away from him. Of course it wasn't about sex with Bucky, he knew that, but he felt utterly useless. Useless to his country, to his mother, to his best friend and now even useless as a lover. There was nothing he could do for his mother now. She was gone, and Bucky would still be there in the morning, and he would come right back and live in the same broken down apartment after the war if it meant keeping him safe and fed while he was away, but for one Steve just needed to do something. Something to prove that he wasn't useless, that he could be more than his body let him be. With that thought in mind he struck out into the night to find one of the 24 hour recruiting stations, or all of them in Brooklyn if that's what it took, with a hundred fantastical stories to tell and a will of steel.

Steve didn't meet Dr. Erskin at his first recruiting station, or his third, in fact it was his seventeenth and his last before he felt like he would have to head home to keep Bucky from waking up in bed without him, but finally he had bootcamp orders. The orders were burning a hole in his coat pocket because he knew he couldn't tell Bucky about them. He would do every in his power to make sure sure that Steve stayed home, that Steve stayed safe, but this was something that Steve needed to do. Even if he never came back from it, he had to.

Bucky was still resting fitfully when Steve snuck back into the apartment and slunk back into bed. Buck suctioned to his cold skin like a warm blanket, large warm hands moving up and down his now bare sides and arms as he murmured, "what's got you so cold Punk?"

"I was having another attack. I didn't want to wake you." He liked feeling the guilt pool in his stomach as Bucky crooned sympathetically at him and fussed at him for not having woken him in case he couldn't breath and needed help. "It's ok Buck, I'm better now. Really, everything is going to work out." Steve promised kissing his sleepy temple and pushing the mop of sleep mussed brunette hair back off his brow.

It was still early when they made their way to the train station sating their sand longing goodbyes in the privacy of their apartment where they could kiss and touch each other, but nothing ever got heated like it had the night before. As they said goodbye at the train station Steve slipped a note into Bucky's bag explaining what had happened and where he could have word sent in the event that anything ever happened, but made sure that it was far enough down in his pack that he wouldn't notice it until it was far too late. They hugged each other goodbye like brothers might and whispered desperate I love yous in each other's ears before Bucky boarded the train and was off. Steve looked after him knowing that somehow, if they ever met gain, things would be different between them. He refused to be the weak boy that always had to be taken care of any more. He wasn't sure how the Army was going to change that, but somehow he would be different the next time they met.