Saviour
Disclaimer: What is it with me and stealing things? [Sigh] Not mine, I'm just playing with them until the rightful owner returns to poke me with a pitchfork. Tis a one off sparked by an msn conversation I recently had with an old friend who I hadn't spoken to in ages. Oh God, my phone bill will be huge, but oh well... (How odd, ni?)
Rating: R - for the unconsensual sex, rape and general nastiness. Much Remus bashing, so if you no like, sod off.
Pairing: Well...I'm not quite sure really. SB/RL (though I detest this pairing for the mere fact that it is so common now). And also SB/SS (due to the fact that I idolise the 'hook nosed git' as some have so affectionately dubbed the genius potions master [swoon]).
~*~*~*~
You whisper sweet nothings only when you are too tired to fuck me anymore. When you collapse on top of me, sweat soaked and panting, and know that you hold my heart in your hand. That if you were to turn me away, no one else would take me in because of what I once was - what I still am. A hunted man, on the run from everyone, bar the select few who know the truth. How many is it that know now? All the teachers surely, and some of the older students - the ones we can trust not to shoot their mouths off and tell the ministry where I'm hiding.
The things you whisper are soft and soothing, and they tickle my ear with your hot breath. I'm tired as well, so I don't put up much of a fight when you wrap your arms around me. When you hold me firmly - so firmly that I couldn't wriggle free if I tried. But I'm too tired to try tonight. People always think that you're the weak one; the one who needs help. So why is it you hold such a stern command over me?
You told me wolves mated for life. I thought you were joking. And you certainly didn't give me much choice in the matter, did you? How was I to know what I was getting myself into - I was only a child, I was innocent (hard to believe for all the pranks I played). I didn't know the intricacies of a werewolf's love life. That the only thing to break the bond is death...
Oh, I have thought about it. When I close my eyes and scream out in pleasure/pain, I wonder if I could just Avada Kedavra myself and be done. But then, Harry's young face crosses my mind, and I can't think on it. I can't leave him alone - he needs me to be around, albeit most of the time in dog-form.
And you - you're too strong to succumb to it. You take what you want from me, night after night, regardless. I could be missing all four limbs and still you would plough on, pleasuring yourself. Nipping, biting, scratching. How am I not a wolf like you already? Maybe even that would be better than this. At least then I would understand how your mind works. How it is that everything has to revolve around you, and nothing at all comes my way.
It isn't even love anymore to you. Sex. Mindless sex. Wolves mate for life, don't they? I thought that meant they loved for life as well. I didn't. I never did. You tended to that area quickly enough, hemming me in, cutting off all routes of escape. Because you took away my innocence, and didn't tell me until afterwards, after the heated, furtive passion that I delighted in that once, what it meant.
It was like a legally binding contract, and now I'm stuck with you. You bastard. You sick bastard. To think I once had the stupid idea to even call you friend. Back in the old days. Back before your scheme to bed me took shape, and your plan to keep me fell through.
And now, you won't even so much as let me look at another man without a reprimand. Oh, don't worry; I explained those bruises away as the work of Death eaters to Dumbledore. If I hadn't, they would have been worse the next time. You might have bitten me properly then, torn me to pieces. I wish you would. Yes, please Remus, would you be so kind as to kill me so I can get out of this perpetual misery? Thank you very much!
I can dream, can't I?
And I do - I have my sly little dreams that you don't know about. I have those quick snatches when you're out at lessons, and I'm free to wander the castle at will in my animagus form, and oversee what's going on.
And, more often that not, I find myself drawn to the dungeon. Oh God. He's always there - striding up and down between rows of simmering cauldrons, barking out orders to scared looking students. Taking points off here and there, reprimanding a bad potion. His complete demeanour reminds me in a terrifying way of you. But that side of you is private...his side is public, and I know more about him than that.
For that silky voice isn't always so harsh; and those eyebrows aren't always knitted in that seemingly perpetual frown. In the breaks between lessons, when the children are filing out, I will sometimes catch him off- guard, humming placidly to himself, and smiling softly. He's so beautiful when he smiles.
I make sure he doesn't see me. Because then he would probably complain about it, and then you...oh God, you would go off the rails. I don't want a repeat of last time. Some of those scratches and bites were in rather embarrassing and uncomfortable places. And, with your insistence to bed me every single goddamned night, bar those few sweet ones during the full moon, those wounds stayed and were refreshed until your anger finally subsided.
So, I watch the man - black hair shoulder-length and shiny - perhaps a little greasy, but the apparent disregard for appearance appeals. Remus, you try too hard, and with the new robes and ridiculous haircut, you're not even something pretty anymore. The rugged look at least suited you a little better.
I bet that hair of his is silky - and with all the time he spends around potions, his hands are dextrous and gentle looking. His scent is fresh, with a mix of old potions lingering around his robes. Though of course, if I had my way, there wouldn't be any robes to scent.
If I had my way, I would suffer dearly for it. So would he - the poor, dear, beautiful, oblivious man. Who smiles and lights up the entire room when he finds the book he's searching for on the shelves. Who will mutter a soft singsong 'oops' if he himself knocks something over, though were it one of his students, he would yell blue-murder. Who will twirl his wand like a baton between his fingers, before putting it down and returning to a new brew.
Oh God. I want him. No - not in the way that Remus wants me. I...I don't know what I want really. It's just him - I like watching him. He's my secret, my deepest thought. The face I see when I climax, but it leaves again so swiftly, and I must face the facts again.
Wolves mate for life.
*
"Sirius," you say, pinning me down to the bed.
"Yes Remus?" I ask back, grinning in the inane way that you seem to like.
"What're you thinking about?" It was an innocent enough question, but the way your eyes flashed told me to be careful.
"Not much - like normal," I quipped, and grinned a little wider. You weren't amused.
"I've been coming back to my rooms at lunch, and you haven't been here."
"I...well, I'm usually just wandering around the castle. You know, seeing how things are going and-" You wrapped a sinewy hand lightly on my throat.
"Wandering around the dungeons. I thought I told you to stop going there. If the students were to see you, it would be a disaster." You said it lightly, but I knew it was out of no sympathy for me. If I were caught again, whom would you have left to screw?
"I'm sorry - I just wanted to explore, go over the old passages," I said by way of excuse. The hand on my throat clasped tighter, pushing my head down into the mattress.
"I don't care what you *wanted* to do, Sirius," you growl darkly. "You will do as I say, understand?" I nod mutely, and you smile. "Good." Then, you swing your legs up onto the bed to straddle me. But your hand is still at my neck. I manage to somehow turn my head to the side, not wanting to look up at your cruel smile.
With a deft wave of your wand, I am chained like an animal, spread eagled over the coverlet. Naked of course. And you are there, touching, licking, sucking, biting. I can't help the moans I let out - my back is to you. So I can imagine it is he who does this to me, not you. He would be gentler, I'm sure. He wouldn't let that river of blood flow freely; he'd seal it up, and then kiss the spot in apology.
Of course, I don't know what he would do - because I've never...Never had the chance to. I've been under your thumb ever since my first time. Those years in Azkaban were a blessing, because at least I was away from you.
And now, you slide into me, not bothering with the preamble of readying me. You get bored with that. I let out a hitched hiss at the burning pain. No matter how many times you do this, it still hurts. So much. And you don't even make a pretence of trying to be careful.
And, again, we climax together, and you collapse on me. The same old thing - only, tonight, you've added chains to this little fantasy of yours. You pull out, and dart over to the dresser, pouring out some water. This is an unexpected kindness - you lengthen the chains so that I can sit up to drink, before pushing me back down again, pinning me with your considerably bulked up weight. You'd built up your muscles a lot since three years ago.
"That was veratiserum, little whore. Now, what's been on your mind?" I feel sick at the idea, and words begin to bubble up my throat to answer. NO! I can't tell you. You would kill me - worse, you would hurt him. Oh God, no, no!
But I can't control my voice now. "Snape has been on my mind. He's beautiful and kind. I watch him sometimes. When the students aren't there - he doesn't see me. He hums a lot - tunes without any beginning or end. And he smiles so sweetly." You snapped you fingers, and I stopped amidst praising him. The sweet, unknowing desire of mine.
And now you are angry without bound. You rake your nails down my prone back, bite and draw so much blood that I'm beginning to feel faint. It's the first time I've ever been reduced to begging. "Stop - please. Remus, for God sake, stop it!" I try to twist away, but the chains are holding me in place, and tears are streaming from my eyes as you continue to rip into me. And you take me again, more savagely than before, yanking my head back and biting down upon the exposed skin of my neck.
And I yell - long and loud. "Get off me! Get off me you fucking bastard!" and you clamp your hand over my mouth, stopping in your tirade to listen.
Knocking at the door. "Keep quiet if you want to live," you hiss, and I know you mean it. You're throbbing inside me, and your breath is coming in short gasps. Blood sticks to my back, and it's beginning to dry. It itches like crazy!
"Remus - hey Remus, are you all right in there?" It's *him*. Oh God, run away if you know what's good for you! You pretty, poor unknowing fool! Run the fuck away!
But now, Remus is getting up. The blood is seeping from everywhere, and the previously white sheets are red now. I try to escape from my bonds, and you glare at me warningly. I throw caution to the wind, and yell as loud as I can through my tears, "Severus, get the fuck out of here, now!"
"What the? Is that Sirius? Remus, what's going on?"
"You stupid slut," you slam your fist into my jaw, and I lie there dazed, and everywhere hurts.
"Remus, open this door." You didn't open it. "Look, I'm going to have to break it down." You don't even move, and when the door implodes inwards, you don't even flinch. Your wand is in your hand, and I cower in fear. And in he comes - beautiful and still he doesn't know the danger he's in. Dust settles in the black hair, making him grey before his time. He ages quite well it seems.
I'm delirious from blood loss. "Severus, run away now. He's going to fucking kill you if you don't." I say harshly, and your obsidian eyes turn to the bed. They widen, and then look questioningly at my torturer.
"Remus?" You say warily, raising your wand. Remus does the same, and that mad fire I know is in his eyes.
"Please - I beg you, get away," I plead. Remus turns around just long enough to throw a very heavy, very large book at my head. It hits the mark, and blood springs forth. And in that short moment of unattendance, the shocked potions master does the only thing he can think of. He drops the wand, and tackles the werewolf with a vase. It shatters over Remus's head, and he drops to the floor.
I drop as well, eyes shuttering and my whole body is feeling quite faint now. And then, there are gentle hands; removing the bonds I'm in, brushing away the blood on my forehead with a sleeve. "Sirius?" a voice is asking softly, tentatively. I manage to make my eyes open again, and I take in the scene. Remus is bound on the floor, unconscious. And you - oh God, you're so close, I could kiss you.
So I do. All my passion, all my fury and my pain and all the years I have wasted are put into this kiss. And when you kiss back. Oh God. When you kiss back! "Sev," I begin, trying to pull away, but you still my words with a simple, soft finger on my lips.
"Shh. I knew there was something going on. You've been coming down to the potions classroom so much, and acting like a bleedin' shadow." I blush under your interrogative gaze, and can't look you in the eye. You seem to get the message. "Let's get you to the hospital wing." And you pick me up like a small child.
I can't help it. I cry again. A full-grown man crying - you must be disgusted. But no - you just reassure me instead, and the kick Remus's still figure on the floor. "And this - creature. I shall inform Albus. For now, you stay with me." I cheer silently, and nuzzle closer to you.
"Thank you," I manage, and you smile down at me. It needs no translation. You know. You've known for so long. You clutch me closer, and step through the wreckage of the doorway. Luckily, there's no one about to see the strange sight. No one about to tattle on me to the ministry. And no one about to see how hopelessly dependant I am on you right now.
"Sirius, you dolt. You should have told me," you finally say, just as we are drawing into the hospital wing.
"You saw what he was like." You frown, and then nod.
"That I did." You place me onto a bed, and pull the screen around it. "You don't deserve this."
"Wolves mate for life - that's what he told me," I sob, and you cradle me whilst we wait for Madame Pomfrey. When she comes, she looks surprised, but gets ready to tend to me. You place me down so gently, and kiss me softly with those rose-coloured lips.
~*~*~*~
There we go, all written without hitting the backspace once! [Proud look]. Review, and make my day. Flamers will only amuse me. And then I will burn them with their own words.
[Hugs Sirius and Severus] They make the sweetest couple. ^_^
R+R - luv Soda.
Disclaimer: What is it with me and stealing things? [Sigh] Not mine, I'm just playing with them until the rightful owner returns to poke me with a pitchfork. Tis a one off sparked by an msn conversation I recently had with an old friend who I hadn't spoken to in ages. Oh God, my phone bill will be huge, but oh well... (How odd, ni?)
Rating: R - for the unconsensual sex, rape and general nastiness. Much Remus bashing, so if you no like, sod off.
Pairing: Well...I'm not quite sure really. SB/RL (though I detest this pairing for the mere fact that it is so common now). And also SB/SS (due to the fact that I idolise the 'hook nosed git' as some have so affectionately dubbed the genius potions master [swoon]).
~*~*~*~
You whisper sweet nothings only when you are too tired to fuck me anymore. When you collapse on top of me, sweat soaked and panting, and know that you hold my heart in your hand. That if you were to turn me away, no one else would take me in because of what I once was - what I still am. A hunted man, on the run from everyone, bar the select few who know the truth. How many is it that know now? All the teachers surely, and some of the older students - the ones we can trust not to shoot their mouths off and tell the ministry where I'm hiding.
The things you whisper are soft and soothing, and they tickle my ear with your hot breath. I'm tired as well, so I don't put up much of a fight when you wrap your arms around me. When you hold me firmly - so firmly that I couldn't wriggle free if I tried. But I'm too tired to try tonight. People always think that you're the weak one; the one who needs help. So why is it you hold such a stern command over me?
You told me wolves mated for life. I thought you were joking. And you certainly didn't give me much choice in the matter, did you? How was I to know what I was getting myself into - I was only a child, I was innocent (hard to believe for all the pranks I played). I didn't know the intricacies of a werewolf's love life. That the only thing to break the bond is death...
Oh, I have thought about it. When I close my eyes and scream out in pleasure/pain, I wonder if I could just Avada Kedavra myself and be done. But then, Harry's young face crosses my mind, and I can't think on it. I can't leave him alone - he needs me to be around, albeit most of the time in dog-form.
And you - you're too strong to succumb to it. You take what you want from me, night after night, regardless. I could be missing all four limbs and still you would plough on, pleasuring yourself. Nipping, biting, scratching. How am I not a wolf like you already? Maybe even that would be better than this. At least then I would understand how your mind works. How it is that everything has to revolve around you, and nothing at all comes my way.
It isn't even love anymore to you. Sex. Mindless sex. Wolves mate for life, don't they? I thought that meant they loved for life as well. I didn't. I never did. You tended to that area quickly enough, hemming me in, cutting off all routes of escape. Because you took away my innocence, and didn't tell me until afterwards, after the heated, furtive passion that I delighted in that once, what it meant.
It was like a legally binding contract, and now I'm stuck with you. You bastard. You sick bastard. To think I once had the stupid idea to even call you friend. Back in the old days. Back before your scheme to bed me took shape, and your plan to keep me fell through.
And now, you won't even so much as let me look at another man without a reprimand. Oh, don't worry; I explained those bruises away as the work of Death eaters to Dumbledore. If I hadn't, they would have been worse the next time. You might have bitten me properly then, torn me to pieces. I wish you would. Yes, please Remus, would you be so kind as to kill me so I can get out of this perpetual misery? Thank you very much!
I can dream, can't I?
And I do - I have my sly little dreams that you don't know about. I have those quick snatches when you're out at lessons, and I'm free to wander the castle at will in my animagus form, and oversee what's going on.
And, more often that not, I find myself drawn to the dungeon. Oh God. He's always there - striding up and down between rows of simmering cauldrons, barking out orders to scared looking students. Taking points off here and there, reprimanding a bad potion. His complete demeanour reminds me in a terrifying way of you. But that side of you is private...his side is public, and I know more about him than that.
For that silky voice isn't always so harsh; and those eyebrows aren't always knitted in that seemingly perpetual frown. In the breaks between lessons, when the children are filing out, I will sometimes catch him off- guard, humming placidly to himself, and smiling softly. He's so beautiful when he smiles.
I make sure he doesn't see me. Because then he would probably complain about it, and then you...oh God, you would go off the rails. I don't want a repeat of last time. Some of those scratches and bites were in rather embarrassing and uncomfortable places. And, with your insistence to bed me every single goddamned night, bar those few sweet ones during the full moon, those wounds stayed and were refreshed until your anger finally subsided.
So, I watch the man - black hair shoulder-length and shiny - perhaps a little greasy, but the apparent disregard for appearance appeals. Remus, you try too hard, and with the new robes and ridiculous haircut, you're not even something pretty anymore. The rugged look at least suited you a little better.
I bet that hair of his is silky - and with all the time he spends around potions, his hands are dextrous and gentle looking. His scent is fresh, with a mix of old potions lingering around his robes. Though of course, if I had my way, there wouldn't be any robes to scent.
If I had my way, I would suffer dearly for it. So would he - the poor, dear, beautiful, oblivious man. Who smiles and lights up the entire room when he finds the book he's searching for on the shelves. Who will mutter a soft singsong 'oops' if he himself knocks something over, though were it one of his students, he would yell blue-murder. Who will twirl his wand like a baton between his fingers, before putting it down and returning to a new brew.
Oh God. I want him. No - not in the way that Remus wants me. I...I don't know what I want really. It's just him - I like watching him. He's my secret, my deepest thought. The face I see when I climax, but it leaves again so swiftly, and I must face the facts again.
Wolves mate for life.
*
"Sirius," you say, pinning me down to the bed.
"Yes Remus?" I ask back, grinning in the inane way that you seem to like.
"What're you thinking about?" It was an innocent enough question, but the way your eyes flashed told me to be careful.
"Not much - like normal," I quipped, and grinned a little wider. You weren't amused.
"I've been coming back to my rooms at lunch, and you haven't been here."
"I...well, I'm usually just wandering around the castle. You know, seeing how things are going and-" You wrapped a sinewy hand lightly on my throat.
"Wandering around the dungeons. I thought I told you to stop going there. If the students were to see you, it would be a disaster." You said it lightly, but I knew it was out of no sympathy for me. If I were caught again, whom would you have left to screw?
"I'm sorry - I just wanted to explore, go over the old passages," I said by way of excuse. The hand on my throat clasped tighter, pushing my head down into the mattress.
"I don't care what you *wanted* to do, Sirius," you growl darkly. "You will do as I say, understand?" I nod mutely, and you smile. "Good." Then, you swing your legs up onto the bed to straddle me. But your hand is still at my neck. I manage to somehow turn my head to the side, not wanting to look up at your cruel smile.
With a deft wave of your wand, I am chained like an animal, spread eagled over the coverlet. Naked of course. And you are there, touching, licking, sucking, biting. I can't help the moans I let out - my back is to you. So I can imagine it is he who does this to me, not you. He would be gentler, I'm sure. He wouldn't let that river of blood flow freely; he'd seal it up, and then kiss the spot in apology.
Of course, I don't know what he would do - because I've never...Never had the chance to. I've been under your thumb ever since my first time. Those years in Azkaban were a blessing, because at least I was away from you.
And now, you slide into me, not bothering with the preamble of readying me. You get bored with that. I let out a hitched hiss at the burning pain. No matter how many times you do this, it still hurts. So much. And you don't even make a pretence of trying to be careful.
And, again, we climax together, and you collapse on me. The same old thing - only, tonight, you've added chains to this little fantasy of yours. You pull out, and dart over to the dresser, pouring out some water. This is an unexpected kindness - you lengthen the chains so that I can sit up to drink, before pushing me back down again, pinning me with your considerably bulked up weight. You'd built up your muscles a lot since three years ago.
"That was veratiserum, little whore. Now, what's been on your mind?" I feel sick at the idea, and words begin to bubble up my throat to answer. NO! I can't tell you. You would kill me - worse, you would hurt him. Oh God, no, no!
But I can't control my voice now. "Snape has been on my mind. He's beautiful and kind. I watch him sometimes. When the students aren't there - he doesn't see me. He hums a lot - tunes without any beginning or end. And he smiles so sweetly." You snapped you fingers, and I stopped amidst praising him. The sweet, unknowing desire of mine.
And now you are angry without bound. You rake your nails down my prone back, bite and draw so much blood that I'm beginning to feel faint. It's the first time I've ever been reduced to begging. "Stop - please. Remus, for God sake, stop it!" I try to twist away, but the chains are holding me in place, and tears are streaming from my eyes as you continue to rip into me. And you take me again, more savagely than before, yanking my head back and biting down upon the exposed skin of my neck.
And I yell - long and loud. "Get off me! Get off me you fucking bastard!" and you clamp your hand over my mouth, stopping in your tirade to listen.
Knocking at the door. "Keep quiet if you want to live," you hiss, and I know you mean it. You're throbbing inside me, and your breath is coming in short gasps. Blood sticks to my back, and it's beginning to dry. It itches like crazy!
"Remus - hey Remus, are you all right in there?" It's *him*. Oh God, run away if you know what's good for you! You pretty, poor unknowing fool! Run the fuck away!
But now, Remus is getting up. The blood is seeping from everywhere, and the previously white sheets are red now. I try to escape from my bonds, and you glare at me warningly. I throw caution to the wind, and yell as loud as I can through my tears, "Severus, get the fuck out of here, now!"
"What the? Is that Sirius? Remus, what's going on?"
"You stupid slut," you slam your fist into my jaw, and I lie there dazed, and everywhere hurts.
"Remus, open this door." You didn't open it. "Look, I'm going to have to break it down." You don't even move, and when the door implodes inwards, you don't even flinch. Your wand is in your hand, and I cower in fear. And in he comes - beautiful and still he doesn't know the danger he's in. Dust settles in the black hair, making him grey before his time. He ages quite well it seems.
I'm delirious from blood loss. "Severus, run away now. He's going to fucking kill you if you don't." I say harshly, and your obsidian eyes turn to the bed. They widen, and then look questioningly at my torturer.
"Remus?" You say warily, raising your wand. Remus does the same, and that mad fire I know is in his eyes.
"Please - I beg you, get away," I plead. Remus turns around just long enough to throw a very heavy, very large book at my head. It hits the mark, and blood springs forth. And in that short moment of unattendance, the shocked potions master does the only thing he can think of. He drops the wand, and tackles the werewolf with a vase. It shatters over Remus's head, and he drops to the floor.
I drop as well, eyes shuttering and my whole body is feeling quite faint now. And then, there are gentle hands; removing the bonds I'm in, brushing away the blood on my forehead with a sleeve. "Sirius?" a voice is asking softly, tentatively. I manage to make my eyes open again, and I take in the scene. Remus is bound on the floor, unconscious. And you - oh God, you're so close, I could kiss you.
So I do. All my passion, all my fury and my pain and all the years I have wasted are put into this kiss. And when you kiss back. Oh God. When you kiss back! "Sev," I begin, trying to pull away, but you still my words with a simple, soft finger on my lips.
"Shh. I knew there was something going on. You've been coming down to the potions classroom so much, and acting like a bleedin' shadow." I blush under your interrogative gaze, and can't look you in the eye. You seem to get the message. "Let's get you to the hospital wing." And you pick me up like a small child.
I can't help it. I cry again. A full-grown man crying - you must be disgusted. But no - you just reassure me instead, and the kick Remus's still figure on the floor. "And this - creature. I shall inform Albus. For now, you stay with me." I cheer silently, and nuzzle closer to you.
"Thank you," I manage, and you smile down at me. It needs no translation. You know. You've known for so long. You clutch me closer, and step through the wreckage of the doorway. Luckily, there's no one about to see the strange sight. No one about to tattle on me to the ministry. And no one about to see how hopelessly dependant I am on you right now.
"Sirius, you dolt. You should have told me," you finally say, just as we are drawing into the hospital wing.
"You saw what he was like." You frown, and then nod.
"That I did." You place me onto a bed, and pull the screen around it. "You don't deserve this."
"Wolves mate for life - that's what he told me," I sob, and you cradle me whilst we wait for Madame Pomfrey. When she comes, she looks surprised, but gets ready to tend to me. You place me down so gently, and kiss me softly with those rose-coloured lips.
~*~*~*~
There we go, all written without hitting the backspace once! [Proud look]. Review, and make my day. Flamers will only amuse me. And then I will burn them with their own words.
[Hugs Sirius and Severus] They make the sweetest couple. ^_^
R+R - luv Soda.