Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia and its characters, nor do I own the lyrics used here.
WARNING: implied alcohol usage and substance abuse, implied sex, [heavily] implied character death
Just Tonight
Here we are and I can't think from all the pills, hey
start the car and take me home.
Here we are and you're too drunk to hear a word I say
Start the car and take me home…
It was 2: 36 am on a Thursday morning.
On a normal day, by this time, Matthew would already be off in dreamland. Then again, a day was anything but normal with a certain Gilbert Beilschimdt involved.
Said person was passed out, his face on the steering wheel, the whole car reeking of alcohol and sweat. But Matthew didn't notice anything. His senses were numbed for now from way too much alcohol and his mind was way up among the stars. He leaned against the passenger seat window, watching his hot breath mingle with the glass and fog it up, seeking refreshment from the cool glass pane.
He watched Gilbert through a heavily fogged up mind, admiring the form before him. He wouldn't deny it, Gilbert was very good looking. Hot. Sexy. Whatever.
He could make any girl fall for him. Hell, even men threw themselves at him. But he lived in an entangled web of lies. He acted as if nothing was wrong; no one ever saw the real side of him. And here he was, at this most vulnerable point and only Matthew was here.
Just tonight I will stay
And we'll throw it all away
When the light hits your eyes
It's telling me I'm right
And if I, I am through
Then it's all because of you
He didn't know why he still stayed by him, only to find himself putting up with his antics and cleaning up his messes. Even his own brother couldn't stand him. He was a lazy, narcissistic, self-centred, albino bastard.
But he still loved him.
Even though it pained him every time to see his friend lusting for every other nubile body around. Even though he had to grin and bear it when he unknowingly hurt his feelings by being the brash person he was.
Even though he was small and insignificant. Even though no one could remember his fucking name except for the albino.
His heart clenched with bitterness as his previously longing thoughts twisted into those of anger. Tears welled up and started to fall onto his lap. He leaned forward, his stringy blonde hair creating a temporary veil of privacy for fear that anyone, especially Gilbert saw him. Not that anyone would care.
Here I am and I can't seem to see straight
I'm too numb to feel right now
And here I am watching the clock that's ticking away my time
I'm too numb to feel right now
The thumping music from the party three blocks down could still be heard. His head was still spinning and throbbing. His tears were dried and crusted onto his face, cracking a little every time he changed his expression. He was in such a low mood; he doubted anyone would ever understand how it felt. All he wanted to do now was to get home, curl up onto his bed, will everything away and never get up again. Anyway how, he still had to get home first.
Getting Gilbert up again would be the first thing to do.
When he looked back on that night months later on, he would chid himself for not even thinking coherently. What even made him think that waking Gilbert up would lead to anything good?
"Gil…" He whispered tiredly.
"Gil…Gilbert."
"Wake up…"
He tried again, grunting as he lifted Gilbert to a sitting position.
"Ugh…" Gilbert moaned in protest.
"Get the hell up red eyes." Matthew muttered, getting irritated.
Gilbert looked up lazily at Matthew, his features pulled into a frown.
The albino grinned, his lips turning up into a feral smile. Matthew eyed him uncertainly…he wasn't familiar with that look but it made him look so much more…more…
"Hey, sexy." Gilbert asked suavely, his speech still surprisingly coherent, breaking Matthew's train of thought.
"Gilbert, shut up. God, you're clearly in no position to drive." Matthew lamented as Gilbert fell backwards onto the seat.
"Come on, just get up." Matthew leaned over to the driver's side and heaved Gilbert up again.
Gilbert's head lolled to the side, and he looked at Matthew through half lidded eyes. He made that mad grin again.
And then all of a sudden, his eyes were moving closer to Matthew, his breath cool on his face. Matthew's mind couldn't comprehend half of what was happening now, Gilbert's alcohol soaked lips brushing against his, his hands going all around him and crushing him against his body.
Gilbert pushed him down onto his seat, his lips hard and bruising against Matthew's. He gave a small yelp of protest, pushing his arms against the others', his thin frame struggling under Gilbert's grip.
It wasn't sweet or pleasant; it was in the heat of the moment, their lips were bruising from the force they were pushing each other. Gilbert tugged and nipped at his bottom lip sharply, his tongue flicking across the other's closed lips.
Just tonight I will stay
And we'll throw it all away
When the light hits your eyes
It's telling me I'm right
And if I, I am through
Then it's all because of you
"Nngh. Gillbe-" he started to protest again, but at the same time unconsciously giving Gilbert the perfect opportunity to thrust his tongue into the other's mouth. At this, Matthew was too tired to be bothered any more. He buried his palms into Gilbert's snowy hair and kissed him back, lapping at his muscle.
The other's hands wandered up and down his body, blindly gripping his arms just with a bit too much pressure, his actions demanding and coming on too strong. They fumbled around the waistband of his jeans, then slipping down to rub against his front.
Matthew let out a needy moan, then mentally dying of embarrassment. At least he was still conscious enough of his actions; the same could not be said of Gilbert.
Do you understand who I am?
Do you wanna know?
Can you really see through me now?
I am about to…go.
The other than proceeded to lift Matthew's shirt up, sucking and nipping at random spots on his torso. The bespectacled blonde gasped as the sensation of Gilbert's mouth on his body sank in, leaving behind a trail of saliva that cooled his skin as it evaporated.
It felt so good and right, but it was undeniably wrong. What about the morning after? What would happen after this? Matthew's worrisome personality and thinking kicked in (even though he was both drunk and high).
"G-Gil."
The albino's head remained dipped, biting along the nape of the other's neck.
"S-stop. We…I we b-both know this isn't what we want."
"Nngh." The other groggily grunted, his silver head trailing dangerously lower and lower.
"N-D. Don't."
The other finally responded.
"But don't you, like it, Meine kleine kanadische...?" Gilbert whispered huskily into his ear.
Matthew could only let out a small whimper in response.
"Ja..." Gilbert trailed off as he unbuttoned his jeans.
Just tonight I won't leave
And I'll lie and you'll believe
Just tonight I will see
It's all because of me
Just tonight I will stay
And we'll throw it all away
When the light hits your eyes
It's telling me I'm right
And if I, I am through
It's all because of you
Just tonight
Matthew bit his lip and held back tears as Gilbert handled him roughly one moment, then sweet and tender the next. His bi-polar tendencies in this situation were not greatly appreciated at all. Gilbert let out a grunt as he reached completion, and then moving on to pressing a kiss sloppily on the side of the lips of a shivering Matthew before passing out once again sprawled out against his seat.
Matthew wrapped his arms around his shoulders and pulled his legs up close to his body, slowly rocking back and forth and sobbing.
So that was it, wasn't it? He was just another mindless fuck to Gilbert. Just another one of his little whores.
Even while partially intoxicated, Matthew was sure he had wanted this. Just not this way.
Matthew wasn't going to wait for the awkward brushed off attempts at explanations of the night before in the morning. He wasn't going to be stepped over anymore. He would make Gilbert pay dearly. Any other thoughts of regret or fear were pushed carelessly aside, leaving space for a single thought to fester; revenge.
Nothing…then pain. A great hollow feeling in his chest. What was going on?
His eyes flickered open, hoping to catch a joust of what was happening to him, but all he got from his still incoherent mind were small little glimpses of the silhouette of a girl…wait, a guy.
C…crying?
No…sobbing his heart out. As he was plunging something up and down rhythmically, dark splotches on his arms.
Gilbert never registered what was happening to him, even as his vision dimmed and then disappeared forever. Matthew was no better. He hardly registered what he was doing after prodding around his pockets and finding his sharp friend.
He wiped his bloodied hands hastily onto his pants as he got out of the car, leaving behind much more than a broken heart.
Do you understand who I am?
It's all because of you
Just tonight…
Meine kleine kanadische - my little Canadian
Song: Just Tonight by The Pretty Reckless
AN: Oh well, that was something out of my comfort zone. *gulp* Also my first attempt at writing a [fail] smut/implied smut scene. lll
ps. For those who read my story PB, I PROMISE I will FINALLY update sometime within the next few days...
REVIEWS ARE OWNAGE!