Title: Give Me A Reason
Pairing: Omi/Ken
Warnings: Yaoi, Lemon, and Suicide
Disclaimer: Unfortunately I don't own any of these gorgeous men. Don't sue me, I'm not making a cent off of this.
AN: This is my first Weiss fic. I hope everyone likes it. I've only seen the first 11 episodes, so some things I say in here might be wrong. Please bare with me. I think I've read enough I've got a basic idea on everything, but nobody is perfect. Especially me.
~*~
Cut my life into pieces
I've reached my last resort, suffocation, no breathing
Don't give a fuck if I cut my arm bleeding
Do you even care if I die bleeding
Would it be wrong, would it be right
If I took my life tonight, chances are that I might
Mutilation out of sight and I'm contemplating suicide
Cause I'm losing my sight, losing my mind
Wish somebody would tell me I'm fine
Nothing's alright, nothing is fine
I'm running and I'm crying
I never realized I was spread too thin
Till it was too late and I was empty within
Hungry, feeding on chaos and living in sin
Downward spiral, where do I begin
It all started when I lost my mother
No love for myself and no love for another
Searching to find a love upon a higher level
Finding nothing but questions and devils
Cause I'm losing my sight, losing my mind
Wish somebody would tell me I'm fine
Nothing's alright, nothing is fine
I'm running and I'm crying
I can't go on living this way
//Last Resort, Papa Roach//
~*~
Chapter 1: Easy Escape
Omi's POV
It would be so easy. I've been planning it for months now. No one even suspects. I'm alone right now. Ken is at soccer practice, Yohji's on a date, and Aya is at the hospital visiting his sister. No one should be home for at least another hour. I should do it. I can't lose my nerve, not this time. If I don't do it now, I might not ever try again.
The stainless steel blade reflects the light in the brightly lit bathroom. It draws my attention. I bought this knife for this purpose about three months ago. I've been tempted to use it ever since.
Am I really ready now? How do you know if you're ready to die?
I might not be ready, but I need to do this. If I don't do it this way, I'll only be prolonging my death, and it'll just make it so much more painful. Every breath leaves me in agony without him in my arms.
Why am I so afraid? There is nothing left for me here. I have no one. Ouka is gone now. My sister, the only person who has ever been able to show me what true friendship is. I'm all alone.
I press the blade against the soft skin of my wrist. It hurts, but not badly. Nothing like what I feel inside. Nothing can compare to that. I close my eyes, but all I see are emerald orbs that haunt me constantly. I can never seem to escape them. They're in my dreams, my nightmares, even when I'm awake.
"Ken..." I whisper his name quietly. I wonder what he'll do when he finds out what I've done? Will he even care? Will anyone?
I've never told him how I feel. I don't think I could stand that rejection. At least this way I can die, thinking he might feel the same.
I press a bit harder on the blade and it pierces my skin. There is now a small and barely noticeable red line. I set the blade on the counter and strip out of all my clothes. I can't stand this pain anymore.
I lean over and begin to fill the tub with cold water. As I'm standing there, waiting for it to fill I pick up the knife again. Ken could never love me, I'm just fooling myself. I run the blade down my chest, and a line of blood appears. I keep running it over my body, loving the feeling it gives me. For once I feel in control of something. For once.
Once my chest is slick with the red sticky substance I climb into the cold water. It freezes my body instantly, but I need this. I grip the knife tightly and push it into my wrist, until the pale skin breaks, I slide the knife up my arm, then I do the same to my other arm.
Finally I am free.
As the blood leaves my body all I can feel is relief. I've finally done it. No one will ever have to worry about me again. I won't be a liability. I won't be in their way.
"I love you, Ken..." I let out breathlessly. Only now, when I'm weak from blood loss, do I have the strength to say those words. Only now. I close my eyes, and visions of Ken float through my head. I almost wish he was here now, holding me in his warm arms. Oh, how I've longed to be held by him. It'll never happen, especially now. Only a few more minutes. I'll miss you Ken.
I feel a sharp pain on my cheek and I slowly open my eyes only to be staring into the same emerald ones that were just haunting my thoughts. Is this a dream? Was it my imagination or was that a tear that just fell down his cheek?
He saying something...no...I think he is yelling. I can't hear him. Why can't I hear his beautiful voice.
I muster up all the strength I can and I lift my arm. Why is it so heavy?
I touch the side of his face, accidentally getting some blood on him. My hand slides down the side of his face, and he catches it with his own.
"Ke...Ken-kun..."
I grip his hand a little harder. I'm not ready to let go yet. I'm not so sure I made the right decision, now. Ken...I'll miss you.
A strange wetness falls on my face. I look up into his eyes again and I can see, he really is crying. Why? Why is he crying for me? I know I'm not ready to go yet.
I need to tell Ken how I feel, but I can't, I'm too weak. No! This can't be happening!
Slowly as the darkness envelops me, all I can feel is his firm hold on my hand. They are my only root to the mortal world, but then suddenly, the warmth vanishes, and I feel the darkness welcome me home. It wraps around me, and embraces me in deaths warm embrace, nothing how, I'm sure, Ken's embrace feels, but it comforts me. I feel like I'm going to bed after a long day of hard work. I feel...I'm still lonely.
Then I know no more.
TBC!!!
~*~
Please review! The next chapter, if I write another one, will be from Ken's POV. I'll only write the next one if I get 5 reviews, or if the reviews I get are really good. So if you like this story and want me to continue, tell me!
Ja
Tigre MoonStorme
Pairing: Omi/Ken
Warnings: Yaoi, Lemon, and Suicide
Disclaimer: Unfortunately I don't own any of these gorgeous men. Don't sue me, I'm not making a cent off of this.
AN: This is my first Weiss fic. I hope everyone likes it. I've only seen the first 11 episodes, so some things I say in here might be wrong. Please bare with me. I think I've read enough I've got a basic idea on everything, but nobody is perfect. Especially me.
~*~
Cut my life into pieces
I've reached my last resort, suffocation, no breathing
Don't give a fuck if I cut my arm bleeding
Do you even care if I die bleeding
Would it be wrong, would it be right
If I took my life tonight, chances are that I might
Mutilation out of sight and I'm contemplating suicide
Cause I'm losing my sight, losing my mind
Wish somebody would tell me I'm fine
Nothing's alright, nothing is fine
I'm running and I'm crying
I never realized I was spread too thin
Till it was too late and I was empty within
Hungry, feeding on chaos and living in sin
Downward spiral, where do I begin
It all started when I lost my mother
No love for myself and no love for another
Searching to find a love upon a higher level
Finding nothing but questions and devils
Cause I'm losing my sight, losing my mind
Wish somebody would tell me I'm fine
Nothing's alright, nothing is fine
I'm running and I'm crying
I can't go on living this way
//Last Resort, Papa Roach//
~*~
Chapter 1: Easy Escape
Omi's POV
It would be so easy. I've been planning it for months now. No one even suspects. I'm alone right now. Ken is at soccer practice, Yohji's on a date, and Aya is at the hospital visiting his sister. No one should be home for at least another hour. I should do it. I can't lose my nerve, not this time. If I don't do it now, I might not ever try again.
The stainless steel blade reflects the light in the brightly lit bathroom. It draws my attention. I bought this knife for this purpose about three months ago. I've been tempted to use it ever since.
Am I really ready now? How do you know if you're ready to die?
I might not be ready, but I need to do this. If I don't do it this way, I'll only be prolonging my death, and it'll just make it so much more painful. Every breath leaves me in agony without him in my arms.
Why am I so afraid? There is nothing left for me here. I have no one. Ouka is gone now. My sister, the only person who has ever been able to show me what true friendship is. I'm all alone.
I press the blade against the soft skin of my wrist. It hurts, but not badly. Nothing like what I feel inside. Nothing can compare to that. I close my eyes, but all I see are emerald orbs that haunt me constantly. I can never seem to escape them. They're in my dreams, my nightmares, even when I'm awake.
"Ken..." I whisper his name quietly. I wonder what he'll do when he finds out what I've done? Will he even care? Will anyone?
I've never told him how I feel. I don't think I could stand that rejection. At least this way I can die, thinking he might feel the same.
I press a bit harder on the blade and it pierces my skin. There is now a small and barely noticeable red line. I set the blade on the counter and strip out of all my clothes. I can't stand this pain anymore.
I lean over and begin to fill the tub with cold water. As I'm standing there, waiting for it to fill I pick up the knife again. Ken could never love me, I'm just fooling myself. I run the blade down my chest, and a line of blood appears. I keep running it over my body, loving the feeling it gives me. For once I feel in control of something. For once.
Once my chest is slick with the red sticky substance I climb into the cold water. It freezes my body instantly, but I need this. I grip the knife tightly and push it into my wrist, until the pale skin breaks, I slide the knife up my arm, then I do the same to my other arm.
Finally I am free.
As the blood leaves my body all I can feel is relief. I've finally done it. No one will ever have to worry about me again. I won't be a liability. I won't be in their way.
"I love you, Ken..." I let out breathlessly. Only now, when I'm weak from blood loss, do I have the strength to say those words. Only now. I close my eyes, and visions of Ken float through my head. I almost wish he was here now, holding me in his warm arms. Oh, how I've longed to be held by him. It'll never happen, especially now. Only a few more minutes. I'll miss you Ken.
I feel a sharp pain on my cheek and I slowly open my eyes only to be staring into the same emerald ones that were just haunting my thoughts. Is this a dream? Was it my imagination or was that a tear that just fell down his cheek?
He saying something...no...I think he is yelling. I can't hear him. Why can't I hear his beautiful voice.
I muster up all the strength I can and I lift my arm. Why is it so heavy?
I touch the side of his face, accidentally getting some blood on him. My hand slides down the side of his face, and he catches it with his own.
"Ke...Ken-kun..."
I grip his hand a little harder. I'm not ready to let go yet. I'm not so sure I made the right decision, now. Ken...I'll miss you.
A strange wetness falls on my face. I look up into his eyes again and I can see, he really is crying. Why? Why is he crying for me? I know I'm not ready to go yet.
I need to tell Ken how I feel, but I can't, I'm too weak. No! This can't be happening!
Slowly as the darkness envelops me, all I can feel is his firm hold on my hand. They are my only root to the mortal world, but then suddenly, the warmth vanishes, and I feel the darkness welcome me home. It wraps around me, and embraces me in deaths warm embrace, nothing how, I'm sure, Ken's embrace feels, but it comforts me. I feel like I'm going to bed after a long day of hard work. I feel...I'm still lonely.
Then I know no more.
TBC!!!
~*~
Please review! The next chapter, if I write another one, will be from Ken's POV. I'll only write the next one if I get 5 reviews, or if the reviews I get are really good. So if you like this story and want me to continue, tell me!
Ja
Tigre MoonStorme