Patience and Patients, a pokémon fanfic

Patience and Patients [the tentative title]

[This is all going to sound like a stupid parody of sorts, a spoof, although I don't know of what, other than Pokémon, but at least I hope it'll be pretty funny, with maybe some serious spots. For pronouns referring to the individual pokémon I use "it", not because I think they are devoid of personality and/or gender, but because the question of whether or not Ash's, Misty's, Brock's, and Gary's, etc. pokémon are male or female is often left unanswered, in the anime, at least. I have not seen definite evidence one way or another for most of them (except for Ash's Butterfree, which was obviously male). Charizard I call Lizardon (it's Japanese name), because I like that name better. This story is more in accord with the anime (which tends to be more innocent) than the manga. The ages I used are from the manga, however. Ages in the story: Ash is about 17 years old (3 years after he started his journey at 14, not 10 as the American mis-translation states), and I guess Misty is about 19. Brock is about 21. Gary is also 17 and his cheerleaders are all hundreds and hundreds of years old, but with witless brains :D]

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This was the morning. This was going to be the day. No more stalling. After three years of traveling with Ash, Misty was going to leave him. Brock had left about a month ago, wanting to, in his words, "Get on with his life," and become the pokémon breeder he had dreamt of being. Brock had left his friends, though, on good terms and without any ill will. But Misty's decision to leave was felt differently by Ash. He had protested a little bit, feeling pretty sad, but let her go on her way. He apologized about the bike and still made that impossible promise to pay her back for it. Then he looked away, dejected, and didn't say another word. He didn't even say good-bye.

'How rude!' she thought, but didn't verbalize it. She wished him luck, but felt like she was just saying it out of what menial politeness she had left and not because she really meant it. Gathering her things, she said she was sorry too, but had to go on with her life. With a simple wave and "bye", she turned and left then, but felt a twinge of reluctance at going.

Holding Togepi gently in her arms, she winced as it cried sharply when it realized that it was leaving its friends, for Pikachu, Lizardon, Squirtle, and Bulbasaur had all come out to say good-bye too. Psyduck waddled by her side "psy-i-yi-ing" loudly and clutching its head. Psyduck's headache was worse than ever. The whole scenario was a pitiful sight. She had the terrible feeling that she had caused Ash to cry too. He had done that a lot for being a boy, she had noticed. She turned her head while still walking, to see what he was doing, but he still had his back to her, slumped over. She couldn't tell if was crying or not. He was almost the same as the day she first met him, when she reeled him and Pikachu out of the river. His personality hadn't changed and he still looked much the same, just a little older, but with the same cap and outfit. Except, he wasn't soaking wet this time, or so Misty thought, for his eyes were now damp with tears.

She began to rationalize her decision. She was still a good friend; he just needed to learn how to be independent. Ash had not yet become the Pokémon Master he had dreamt of being. He hadn't won any money so far and they had been eeking out their nomadic lifestyle from week to week on portions of his mom's checks, which she wired to him. If he hadn't won the League championships by now, three years into their, no, his, journey, she figured that he would never be able to reach that level of competence. Especially not after all the help, advice, and intelligence she, Brock, and countless others (even Tracey) had been trying to drill into his brain. With normal people, after three years, there would have been some definite improvement.

But not with Ash. He was Ash, after all, what more could she expect? Sure, he had caught and sort of trained well many pokémon. But he was hopeless. Misty figured that without the kind of cash that he was supposed to win as a Pokémon Master, she'd never get paid back for her bike. No way. She was surprised at herself for hanging around him for even this long. How could have she had been so dumb? A long time ago, Misty had thought that she had better just give up on the bike thing. She wondered why then, she had wasted her time since. Anyway, she'd had it.

A couple of months after her desertion, Ash Ketchum won the Championships, Pikachu merrily at his side, now his only and oldest friend sharing in his victory. His mom was there and knew about it too, and Gary, whom he had beaten, especially knew it. He had won, but his life still was empty. Now what? He could keep training and everything, start up his own gym (He felt it would be the best one in the world.), and then what? First, though, he would go home to Palletown to celebrate more with his mom and anybody else who really cared, Professor Oak, maybe.

Gary, meanwhile, being the sneaky, little, jealous, evil creature he was, was plotting on how to get that title from Ash. It wasn't going to be nice. And, there was one very effective although trite way of doing that--the "damsel in distress" method.

He kidnapped Misty from her gym in Cerulean City, while her sisters looked on, partly in cowardly horror, and partly in ditziness. Gary locked all her pokémon away, even Psyduck and cute little Togepi, in his grandfather's mansion's secret passageways, to ensure that they couldn't help her.

Although he was kicked, hit, and punched several times, and even had some of his ugly hair ripped out by Misty, he was still able somehow to tie her up and suspend her far above a pool in Prof. Oak's mansion as a meal for a hungry bunch of Tentacruel. Amazingly, and much to his chagrin, he didn't gag her, so she yelled at and threatened him angrily. To cover up his hair loss, he wore a blue and white Pokémon League cap, similar to Ash's, except that it wasn't official, and was instead a "bootlegged" version he had stolen while on his pokémon journey.

He let Misty hang there for a while, and later came out in a fancy tuxedo, ready to celebrate when Ash would fail and give up his title. Standing by the side of the pool, looking at his work, he began to taunt Misty (and Ash) and to gloat.

"You're so skinny, but you'll still be a tasty appetizer for my pets. How ironic that your specialty is water pokémon! So why don't you try to tame these nasty Tentacruel? Such a pity that that stupid loser worm Ash won't be able to get here in time to give me my well-deserved Pokémon Master title, and to save you. He was late before and he'll be late again, whenever it's something important."

She gritted her teeth. "I could train them if I was just given the chance to! And I can save myself, thank you very much!"

"I'd like to see you try to save yourself. Or even see Ash try! Ha! I'll get that title one way or another, so if you die, it's no big problem for me."

"I never thought you'd be that wicked." Her voice echoed off of the concrete and marble surfaces with fear.

"Yeah, I'm that wicked and even worse. I haven't even told Ash that you're in danger, and I won't tell him until you're within twenty feet of those lovely pokémon below you. And then I'll keep lowering you until he arrives with the title."

"Maybe Ash should have stayed a loser. At least, then, I'd be home, safe."

"He is and always has been! I just didn't cheat enough at the Championships, that's all. Too bad you weren't smart enough to join my cheerleading squad! Right, girls?"

At that, his pathetic little group of cheerleaders, who were invited over to see the spectacle, laughed and childishly blew raspberries at Misty. They, too, were dressed up in wasteful and expensive finery for the victory party he intended to hold after he would steal what was rightfully Ash's.

"Yes, Gary! You're so smart, blah, blah, blah, (i.e. obvious lies to all who could think)..." They continued tittering, fawning on Gary (YUCK!), and belittling Misty's brain, even though they had not one among them, and not even a collective intelligence to garner from them all.

"See?" he said, admiring (somehow) his reflection in the pool and seeing the scary Tentacruel beneath his image. "They're [referring to his cheerleaders] having the good life 'cause they're with me! Have a nice trip!"

He flicked the switch for the wench and down Misty went, yelling and kicking the whole time, and when she was within the specified distance, the ultra-evil Gary went into a separate, sound-proofed room, escaping her annoying yells, checked the phone book, and called Ash.

Ash picked up the phone, but kept the voice-only mode on.

"Hello. Ketchum residence. Who's calling, please?" he said in his usual pleasant manner.

"Hey, Ash, you loser!" At the sound of that infernal, horrible voice, Pikachu, who had been happily sleeping on Ash's big Snorlax pillow, woke up and stood stiffly on all fours, its fur raised in ire.

"ARRGH! Gary! What do you want!?"

"Your title! And by the way, your vicious, skinny, little girlfriend's here, soon to be eaten all up by my starving Tentacruel. Wanna come over?"

"Misty's NOT my girlfriend!"

[Funny, how he knew it was her, without malicious Gary saying it!]

Ash slammed the receiver down, grabbed his Pokémon League cap and his coat, and ran out of the house with all his pokéballs, and with Pikachu on his head. He jumped in his little hybrid electric car and drove as fast as he could while still obeying all the rules of the road. But he had to save her! Then he realized that he didn't even know if stupid, evil Gary was at Professor Oak's place, or even if he was with Misty.

'Gary'd probably lie if I asked him where he was, anyway. I'll check Professor Oak's home first.'

He reached the mansion, and found Prof. Oak gagged and tied up to the iron gate outside. Ash ungagged him.

"Oh thank goodness you're here Ash! I was here for hours like this and nobody had come along. Gary's gone mad! I don't know why, but he tied me up and..."

"He's always been like that! Where is he? I don't have much time!"

"Oh, he said he'd be by the in-door pool...I...Hey!"

Ash already had started running up to the mansion.

"How am I going to untie myself?"

Arriving at the pool, (It was conveniently located directly where Ash had landed after he had stumbled over several potted plants, going down a laundry chute which led to the pool. Why the laundry chute went there, we may never know.) Ash was greeted by a disturbing sight. Not only was icky Gary there, with that stupid smirk on his face, but so was Misty, in a dire spot above the sea monsters. The cheerleaders had already left to wait in the banquet hall.

Getting up and checking if Pikachu was o.k., he suddenly realized, through all the pain, that he had forgotten to bring his title. 'Like I'd just give it to him anyway...' he thought.

"So, worm, you actually made it. But of course, by mistake I see. You can hand over my title now."

"Just let her go, first!"

"I'm not as stupid as you are!"

"I'm not stupid!"

"Pikachu!" Pikachu affirmed.

"Well, we'll see about that!" Then, for some reason, Gary had left.

"So, Misty, you've gotten yourself into trouble again?"

"Ash, just shut up and help me out! I'm surprised Psyduck didn't figure some way to escape and bother me as usual, but you'll do. Give him the title or do something at least before he gets back so I don't become Tentacruel food!"

"Don't worry; I'll help you. It's not like you could help yourself."

"Yeah, well, I kinda, sort-of already tried. I just didn't try hard enough. Anyway, you're the one who's going to need help when I'm through with you! And him! Just hurry!"

She was stopped about 7 ft. above the Tentacruel, and although most of them were too starved to really grab her and pull her down, she still had to scrunch up and swing and tuck her legs in several times to avoid their feeble swipes at her.

"You should be glad I didn't say good-bye," Ash said quietly as he winched her back up to the high diving board. Misty had not heard him, though. Now Gary returned with some very nasty nipping pokémon, namely a few mentally-deranged Eevees and Growlithes, and as Ash was ready to climb up the ladder to untie her, he found that he suddenly could climb up that ladder a lot faster with Gary's scary pokémon nipping at his heels. Thankfully, they couldn't climb past the tenth rung, and Ash had gone up the ladder faster than he thought was possible. Under his hat, Pikachu had held on for dear life to Ash's hair.

"Ow, Pikachu! You're pulling my hair out!" he said more in pain than in anger.

"Chaaa!"

"Yes, you'll all have time for good-byes shortly. Just give me my title, Ash, and I might spare her. I could hear you the whole time. Although, with all the yapping you guys have done, I think I'll never get that title," Gary stated, matter-of-factly, with his arms crossed, head down, and eyes closed.

"That's right. You won't!" both Misty and Ash announced.

Suddenly, the stupid, evil Gary found himself without the title and saw his nemesis and ex-captive in the doorway, waving bye to him. They had come down the ladder and jumped to the floor from the tenth rung, avoiding the nipping pokémon. The nipping pokémon had simply sat there, stunned that Gary hadn't done anything to stop Ash when he had gone up the rest of the ladder. Then Ash and Misty ran. The nippers looked at Gary questioningly and he glared furiously back at them. They scattered in fear. They knew what that look meant.

"OOOOHHHHH-NOOOOOO! They won't get away!" Gary screamed, taking off his ill-gotten cap and slamming it to the floor in disgust. He quickly ran to his surveillance room, the tufts of his remaining hair sticking out in odd directions.

"Ash, we've got to find Togepi and the others first! Well, we could leave Psyduck. And how do we get out of here?"

"Don't you know?"

"No! Don't you? You were here before!"

"That was a long time ago! And you're here now. Don't you remember how you guys got to the pool?"

"Ash, he had me blind-folded!"

"Well, we'll just have to guess. Let's turn here!" he said running down a long flight of spiral stairs.

"How did you ever become a Pokémon Master anyway!?"

Changing the subject, Ash asked,"How'd he know what we were saying when he wasn't there?"

"Beats me. I'm getting dizzy."

"Pika-pi!"

"What is it, Pikachu?" Ash stopped and looked upwards at his friend, who was still hiding under his hat.

"Ash, look!"

They stared at a camera mounted on the wall of the spiral staircase. They moved to the left. The camera moved to the left. They went down a couple more steps, and the camera followed their every move.

"He's got surveillance! We can't let him know where we are! Pikachu! Thundershock that camera now!"

"Ash, wait!"

But it was too late, Pikachu jumped at the camera and released a great voltage of electricity. The camera was successfully fried. And Ash and Misty got zapped too, naturally.

"Pika..." Pikachu apologized. He returned to retreat under Ash's smoldering cap.

"Ash, you dummy! This stairway's too small. Now we've lost some more brain cells!"

"At least we still had some to lose. Anyway, I guess that's how he knew what we were saying."

They continued down the stairway quickly and reached a door. Opening it, the trio found themselves in a cellar-like cavern of passageways, lots of them. The passages didn't look like they'd be the way out, but they were worth a try.

The whole mansion was booby-trapped, irritatingly enough. One contraption, that looked like a robotic claw and arm attached to a long track on the ceiling, stole Ash's hard-earned official Pokémon League cap, exposing the frightened Pikachu. As he chased it, with Misty following close behind, he ran directly into a nearly invisible glass wall. Misty ran into it too, but before she could fall to the ground, a giant vacuum device sucked her into a secret chamber in the wall to her right.

The vacuum, Misty, and the trap door all hid themselves then with a camouflage that matched the surrounding wall surface (which wasn't glass, btw).

Meanwhile, Ash fell through a conveniently placed hole in the floor, right in front of the glass wall. He landed on top of an angry Scyther's head, and just then, as he fell off of its head and landed again on the concrete floor, his hat was plunked backwards on his head by another robotic hand. "Pika!" Pikachu screamed. The Scyther grew even more furious at the sight of the red hat and lunged at him. He ran and ran through the labyrinthine corridors, but could still hear the mean Scyther behind him.

Misty had been pulled into a room full of peppers, carrots, and, worst of all, bugs! Without her pokémon, she tried her best to dive from the Beedrills and avoid the sleep powder of the Butterfrees. A cute little Caterpie nudged her leg but she kicked out in fright. The Caterpie was sent flying so fast and so far that it had fully evolved into a Butterfree by the time it alighted on the room's floor, achieving a new world's record for even the Caterpie species' evolution speed. Venonats danced around her, waving carrots in her face. She screamed,"What kind of nightmare is this?!" She slipped on the red chili peppers, and some of their capsaicin-charged liquid splattered on her legs, burning her skin. "ARGHHHHHH!"

Unfinished as of yet...

Please note: I don't own these characters, etc. I just wrote this fanfic about them. No copyright infringement intended; all text (except for copyrighted, trademarked words, as indicated) is a fanwork and is not part of the original licensed works. This is just a creative bit of my own fan writings. The writer of this story, if requested to do so by the owners of said characters, etc., will gladly take down this story.