Disclaimer: I own nothing but my questionable sanity, all characters belong to someone other than me, and i am truly not worht of writing for these characters, but in my fantasy land inside my head, i write for them constantly.
Be kind please x
Already Gone
It was the hardest thing she had ever had to do, stealth was a prerequisite, sure Callie slept heavy but that was normally when she had her arms wrapped around the slender middle of her lover. Her head buried in the crook of Arizona's neck, lips still pressed against her soft porcelain skin in a kiss that lasted the entire night. Tonight they had drifted off in the usual way; light love-making followed by kisses and whispered declarations of love that gave way to the peaceful snoozing of the beautiful dark-haired goddess that lay before Arizona, hair splayed out in wavy tresses that reminded her of the true beauty that was Calliope. The peaceful, rested, safe in the warmth of being loved Calliope, who she adored more than life itself. She stopped in her tracks and took her in, sucking in a breath as a tear fell from her aqua eyes, rolling until it found its resting place on her quivering lips. She swore she wouldn't cry, knew this was for the best and so, shaking her head and biting down on her bottom lip hard enough to distract her from the amazing sight before her, she continued with her packing.
She didn't have much, a dark green towel that still clutched to the scent of citrus and mangos found in Calliopes' shampoo, a few t-shirts that still smelt like her, a Gomez CD with an overplayed second track, and an overused toothbrush that was starting to signal replacement time, filled the tiny shoulder bag she usually store under their bed after a long day at work.
She allowed her mind to wander and think of the recommended lifespan of the plastic stick, three months, this brush had been here, in Calliopes home, in her bathroom for three months and now, now it was going. She considered throwing it in the bin, but one glance at the sleeping caramel form, blending with the soft white of the sheets let her know she couldn't leave the tiniest hint of herself. She wanted it to be clean, wanted it to be a quick, clean and easy break for Calliope. At the very least she deserved to give her that.
In all their time together Callie hadn't been demanding, she hadn't asked for a thing, she gave her all to the relationship, gave her all to Arizona and in one line, one verbal spill that had fallen from her sweet little mouth, Arizona had destroyed her. She had. There was no denying that every time she looked into those muddy brown orbs she saw a sadness, one she had planted there. It never existed before the day she had revealed her need for a childless existence, it had been the single most heart-breaking thing she had ever done. She had watched as that glint in her lovers eyes had dwindled, the smile in the corner of her mouth disappearing and instead being replaced by the fake smile Callie had perfected as a defense mechanism over the years.
She had destroyed her, taken her dreams of being a mother and washed them away with the sounds of surgeries, fears that had taken years to grow into fully fledged monsters that attacked her in her sleep, standing statue like, aside the tiny coffins, and then lunging at her with every step she neared them with. She had finally resolved that, she needed to do something for Callie for once, instead of expecting her to shoulder all the pain, she took it upon herself to life and ease some of the burden the Raven haired beauty had claimed as her own.
She zipped up the bag, hands shaking and heart pounding so hard that if she wasn't a doctor she would have been afraid of it ripping right through her chest. She took another breath of air, blinking away the tears as she slung the bag over her shoulder, inching closer to the bed where she once slept soundly and letting her warm lips graze the forehead of a woman she would love, undoubtedly, forever. She refrained from allowing her hand to tuck the stray raven tresses behind Callies ear, resisted the urge to whisper three words that her heart was screaming. She knew it would be easier, for them both to just go… turning and heading towards the door, she felt her heart slip to her stomach, a wave of nausea hitting her at the finality she felt when her fingers grasped at the cold metal handle. Stepping out of the room and shutting the door her eyes were met by the disapproving stare of Christina who, instead of launching into a tirade of 'How could you do this to her?', instead just shrugged her shoulders and sat down on the sofa, a box of tissues in hand, ready for Callie the moment she woke up to emptiness.
Arizona stepped towards the door, a part of her screaming to drop the bag, run back into their room, climb back in the warm sheets, and forget any of this ever happened. Wake up to the woman she adored and admit that she was scared, scared of rejection, scared of her inadequacies, scared to live her life with her heart walking on the outside of her. The other…rational part, talked louder reminding her that she had spent the past 6 months with her heart on the outside of her, and she did a horrendous job of protecting it, in fact, it had been her own actions that had caused her heart to ache. She let a hand go to her pocket, fingering the crumpled up, tear stained piece of paper and thinking briefly before backtracking and handing it to the bleary eyed woman curled up on the sofa.
'It's hardly an explanation but It's the least she deserves…' she whispered, watching as the dark haired woman nodded slowly, hand reaching out for the paper. She never read its contents, never even let her eyes skim over the perfectly scripted lettering, the I's dotted with playful hearts. Instead she leant forward and placed it on the coffee table, sure she and Callie weren't best friends but she didn't really want to be the one to break her. Looking back up at the blonde, she nodded and as if finally released Arizona made her way to the door, her fists clenched as she held in the urge to let go of the tears that had been welling inside her for the past few hours. Once through the threshold, into the lift and finally out of the apartment building she finally let go, her whole body wracking as she gave in and let herself feel what she knew was just an ounce of the pain she had put Callie though. She stood there, the cold nipping at the skin not covered by her fitted white t-shirt, tears falling down her face and the slightest of whimpers betraying her as they passed her lips. She stood for what felt like hours, but in actual fact was minutes, before shaking her head and breathing slowly and making her way towards her own apartment, the small, brightly painted, soft furnished apartment that had barely any trace of the woman who had fastly become her life.
She stepped inside the cold room, throwing the bag into the corner behind the door she made her way slowly to the fridge and pulled out a bottle of wine she kept for rainy days, today having a high precipitation count despite the sun that had been shining constantly. Popping the cork and not even bothering with fetching a glass, she wrapped her mouth around the neck and gulped at the dark liquid, imagining with every mouthful she was washing away her sorrows, drowning them in a sweet mixture of inebriation. She had finished half the bottle before the tears started up again, and after polishing off the last few drops she left a numbness wash over her, walking to her room she climbed between the cold, empty sheets and closed her eyes. Arizona wasn't a praying woman, religion to her had been lost in translation but as she drifted off into a drink induced slumber the softest of prayers fell from her lips.
'Please god help her through this…'
Okay so, that is so far, I do have another chapter of this written out, I intended for it to be a one shot originally, but I kinda saw I could get more out of my ideas, when I sat down to finally pen, or rather type this.
Want to know what the paper said, or just in need of another Calzona fix, Please review, it makes me giddy in the most Arizona- ish of ways, I'm talking heeleys n butterfly scrub caps here people x Thankyou x