Disclaimer: Why does everyone put these here? It's kind of obvious…..Well, my name is not J.K. Rowling so I don't own any of these characters. Duh. If I did own them I might write a proper story instead of this junk.
OK I'm really bored so I wrote this. I have no idea what junk will pour from my brain to my hands to the keyboard in the next few minutes but don't take any of it literally. Some stuff might be partly based on some dreams a friend of mine had once (don't ask). The rating is because there may be sex, nudity, drugs, a little violence, and some swearing.
Part One
It was just another normal day. McGonnagal and Snape were chatting in the teacher's lounge.
Snape was wearing a pink silk halter top and a spandex mini skirt. McGonnagal was wearing an obscene amount of black leather. Just an average day.
McGonnagal : Oh Severus I just love what you've done with your hair this morning!
Snape (in high-pitched voice) : Oh thank you Minerva, you look quite fetching yourself! Just imagine if the students ever saw us like this…
McGonnagal : Oh God I KNOW….*giggles*
Snape : *giggles*
McGonnagal & Snape : *much giggling*
McGonnagal (gaining control of herself) : Have you seen Dumbledore lately?
Snape : Oh yes! And he looks positively SEXY!
McGonnagal & Snape : *much giggling*
McGonnagal : Do you want to shag?
Snape : No thanks I'm gay.
McGonnagal : Oh.
(a knock on the door)
McGonnagal : Who is it?
Harry (speaking through the door) : It's Harry Potter and Ron Weasley.
Snape : Oh my gosh it's students!
(McGonnagal and Snape throw off their clothes and put on some robes)
Snape (in normal voice) : Come in.
(Harry and Ron enter the room)
Ron (with a weird look on his face) : Professor Snape, why are you wearing eye shadow?…..
(silence)
Snape (blushing) : That is none of your business Weasley! Now I have to go!
(Snape leaves and McGonnagal follows)
Harry : Hey cool we're in the teacher's lounge alone!
Ron : Kick ass!
Harry : Want to smoke some floo powder?
Ron : Sure.
(Harry and Ron are smoking the floo powder when there comes a knock on the door)
(Draco enters without knocking)
Harry : 'Sup homie g dawg? Ha ha ha ha.
(Harry and Draco begin having sex for no reason)
(Ron leaves and bumps into Hermione in the hallway)
Ron : Hey you're sexy!
Hermione : You never noticed?
(Ron and Hermione start walking together and they run into Cho Chang, who is bald)
Ron : Hey, didn't you used to have hair or something?
Cho : Yes, but I shaved it off to make wigs for the unfortunate infants who have no hair. Isn't it sad that their parents won't let them grow there own?
Ron : Uhhh, whatever, cool. *rolls eyes*
(Ron and Hermione continue walking and they see Draco)
Draco : Damn you're hot! Want to shag?
Ron : Sorry dude I'm not that way.
Draco : Dude, I was talkin' to the chick!
Ron : hey I saw her first!
(Draco and Ron proceed to kick each other's asses and Hermione walks away)
Umm I can't think of anything else right now. Maybe add another chapter later.