Disclaimer: Teen Titans isn't mine.
More practice using first person... *but I still suck at it, unfortunately...
"Speech"
All thoughts will belong to Jinx. Italics will only indicated emphasis.
Uh oh.
Shit. Shit, shit shit. Rae's gonna freak when she sees this. God, I'm such a dumbass. She fuck'n told me not to touch that mirror but I just had to go and do it anyway. Ugh, damn it. Jinx, you're so dumb. She always says things for a reason! She must've known that it would react with my powers and break... agh! I just had to not listen to her and be an idiot...
Fuck me, what am I supposed to do? The glass is all broken 'n stuff. And it's not like I can just... tape it back together or anything, I guess. Maybe I can hide it? No, that shit doesn't work with her. Besides, that'd be like spitting in her face. Umm... maybe I can blame it on Beast Boy? No, she probably wouldn't believe that. Damn, why the hell are these things so hard to fix..?
I... uh, well, maybe this is just one of her other mirrors. I mean, they all look mostly the same, right? It's just a normal mirror. It's not the one that she uses to do all that magic stuff with her mind and - who am I kiddin'? I'm fucked...
...wait a sec. I hear something. Someone's talking outside...
"...that's not fair! How come you let her into your room and not me! We've been friends for like... ever-"
"And why do you think I don't let you into my room, Beast Boy?"
"Because- because..."
"Once you figure it out, then we can talk about this. Until then, stay out of my room or I'll drown you in raw meat."
"Y-yes ma'am!"
"Good. Now, I'm going to meditate. So please don't disturb me."
...I'm fucked.
The door's opening. God, what am I supposed to say to her? What am I supposed to do? ...what's she gonna do to me? Ugh. Well, whatever it is, I probably deserve it. I-
"Jinx."
Fuck me. "Rae, I-"
"What's behind your back?"
"I- I, uh, I-" god, why am I such a spluttering mess? Just say it, Jinx! Just- there's no use lying-
"Jinx. I can feel your emotions." She's using her serious voice. Like, the one that she uses right before she blows up everything in sight. I'm so fucked. "Tell me."
"I... I..." I think I'm crying, but I can't tell. Ugh, I keep shaking. Why can't I stop! I just need to... no, not calm down. How could I possibly be calm right now?! Just need to get it out, at least. "You... remember how you told me not to touch your mirror?"
"... yes."
Oh god. She's mad. No, she's scared? I don't know, it's hard to tell, but when she stops moving like that, something really bad always happens. She's gonna kill me...
"I kind of touched it."
"... why?"
"Because... because I was curious." And stupid. And retarded. And idiotic- and... she hasn't replied yet.
She's... she's preparing to murder me. Yep. I'm about to be vaporized. Well, damn. I guess I kinda deserve it-
"Jinx. You realize that my mother gave me that mirror."
...
"Are you going to say anything?"
...
... words, words! Say sorry! Say something, at least! I owe it to her to not be this brainless mess...
"I - *sniffle* - I didn't mean to! I didn't think-"
"I know. Even Beast Boy, had he broken my mirror, would not have meant to break it."
"But I still broke it... *sniffle*."
"You did. Show it to me."
Can she fix it? Hopefully I didn't ruin it forever. She's staring at it, but I can't tell what she's thinking. Is she... no, why does she look so sad? No, Rae, please don't look so sad. It hurts when you do that-
"Could you please leave me alone for a while?"
Uh oh. That's really bad. The worst part is, she isn't even yelling at me. I think I could take it if she were yelling at me, but ugh, why does she just sound so... so depressed? Well, I broke her mirror, no shit. She's sad because of me. Fuck me.
"Please?"
She doesn't want to see me right now. Well, duh. Yeah, she needs some time alone... to prepare for how she's going to torture me then kill me. Fuck. Well, I deserve it. Guess there's nothing to do now but wait.
"Jinx. Did something happen?"
Fuck off, Robin.
"...you can't sit there forever, you know."
I don't want to talk to you.
"If you need her I can open the door-"
"No!" Oops. Didn't mean to yell. "I mean, no. I did something dumb."
"Oh."
"You know-"
"I do know, so please. No more talking."
"Hmph. Very well, I'll let you two sort things out for now. But if you're still sitting there tomorrow, I'm going to get some kind of explanation."
Like hell you are. Besides, that's only if Raven doesn't obliterate me by tomorrow. I hope... I don't even know what to hope. How can she trust me if I just ignore what she tells me? Like, Beast Boy does it too, yeah, but she doesn't worry about him 'cuz he can't break anything. But my stupid powers mean that I destroy her things even if I don't mean to. Fuck, sometimes I wish I were just normal. Without these stupid powers. Then, at least, I wouldn't be breaking her stuff. I wouldn't make her sad...
God. Why is the only thing I can do destroy things? Everything I touch gets broken. Everyone I get close to gets hurt 'cuz of my stupid powers doing stupid things. Sometimes I think it'd be better if I were just... gone. Well, it'd be better for her, right? I wouldn't be ruining the things her mother gave her... I'm so dumb. It's not even my powers really. I just... ignored what she told me not to do. Why the fuck did I ignore her? Why didn't I listen?
...I just hope she doesn't feel too bad. But I can't tell anything when she's hiding behind that damned door. But I can't just barge in either...
I really hope she's not doing something stupid. Damn it, Jinx. You just had to screw up.
"Jinx? Why are you banging your head on the wall?"
Go away, Cy. I don't want to hear it.
"You know you can talk if you need to."
But I don't. I don't want to talk to you. I want to make sure Raven's okay, but fuck. She's... well, I wouldn't wanna talk to me either.
"What in the world happened? You look terrible."
Gee, thanks, Cy. God, just leave me alone.
"Well, if you need me, I'll be cookin' dinner. Make sure you come and get some, or I'll personally come and make you. Got it?"
"Will there be tofu, Cy?"
"Cut the sarcasm, girl. What's wrong?"
You pestering me. "Nothing. Go cook."
"Jinx..."
"I don't want to eat BB's vegan crap for dinner. Go cook."
"Okay, okay!"
Finally. Jeez. I wish everyone would just stop talking to me. Can't they see that I don't want to be bothered? God. I swear, if one other person-
"Jinx! Friend, what is bothering you?"
Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow.
"Star-fire- it-hurts-"
"Oh. My apologies. I was informed that-"
"Who told you what?"
"Cyborg told me that you needed the cheering up and he had to do the making of dinner, so-"
"Well he was wrong. You can just go... uhh... bother Robin or something."
"But he is doing the working out-"
"Well go watch TV or something!"
"But you must first tell me what is wrong-"
"Starfire." If we keep this up, we're really gonna piss Raven off. Unless she's not there. "I'm fine. Please, just leave me alone."
"But you are acting like Raven when she is-"
I am? Shit. She must be rubbing off on me. "I promise I'm fine. Please, Raven probably doesn't like all this noise either. So-"
"Oh, so something happened between the two of you."
"N-no, it's just-"
"I will not intrude upon your secrets. Do not fear. It will work out. I know from experience."
What the hell, how'd she know something happened between us? Okay, well besides the obvious, me sitting outside Raven's door... well, she said that things work out. I don't know what she did to Raven, but it can't be something like this, right? She didn't actually hurt Raven. None of them have, 'cept me. Cuz I'm shit.
"Okay, Star. I get it. But right now, she's in there and I don't know if she's doing something dumb, hating me, or what."
"You are worried that she is hurting?"
"I- I-..."
"Then you must go in and-"
"No! I can't do that-"
"Then I shall-"
"No, no, I'm pretty sure she doesn't want to be bothered. Actually, I'm like, 100 percent sure-"
"But it is not good to leave her alone for so long-"
"I'll check up on her soon. Just... not at the moment."
"You promise that you shall?"
"I promise."
Phew. She seems satisfied now. Starfire's such a pain sometimes, though... I guess I hope she's right. Ugh. I don't know what I'd do if Raven hated me. Well, she probably does right now, but what if she hates me forever? What am I gonna do? She's the only person who ever understood me... I don't know what I'd do if I lost her...
...I guess this is some kind of lesson, huh. Don't ignore what Raven tells you. More like don't be a brainless idiot... like me. Ugh. I really hope Rae's not too sad... I mean, it sucks even when she's mad at me, but I can take that. I just can't stand it when she's all depressed 'n stuff...
Fuck, well, am I really gonna just sit here all day and do nothing? I should be making sure she's okay! Or at least trying to make it up to her somehow... like, we don't both need to be moping. I should be trying to do something for her... at least a little something. Maybe I should get her a gift. Yeah, that should be good. Oh, and she hasn't eaten since yesterday... I know she'll probably not want to see me, but I guess I can at least bring her dinner.
...please don't hate me...
"Raven? Raven, I brought you some food. I'm going to leave it outside your door. Okay?"
...she's not responding. Well, of course not. She didn't eat what I brought her for dinner yesterday either. I wonder if she's even still in there. I wonder... I mean, Raven does stupid stuff sometimes. Like, she fuck'n cuts herself when bad things happen, and she starves herself, and... damn it. I'm should go out and get her somethin'. But what should I even get?
I mean, everyone knows she loves books and tea, but that seems a little... a little boring. Besides, I should try to get her something that's at least a little decent. 'Cuz I broke that mirror 'n everything, and ugh. You know what they say, some things can't really be bought with money... fuck that. I have to at least try. Okay. Calm down. What would be a good gift? Rae doesn't like normal stuff. Gotta be creative...
Well, she likes magicky stuff. But I don't know that much about it... whenever we went to those creepy shops, I had no idea what half the stuff was. Though... I do remember a little bit from when I was at the HIVE. Mostly that asshole teaching me 'bout a bunch of stupid ass curses, but I remember seeing a good luck charm in one of the books. Maybe I can try making one for her. I'll just need to go out and buy a few ingredients... now where was that store?
"Raven? Rae, it's been three days. Are you still not even gonna say anything to me? Are you not even going to come out at all?"
What else can I say? I mean, I have to at least convince her to come out. Even if she doesn't wanna talk to me, fine, but she's going to starve to death at this rate!
"Uhh... I know I messed up and I'm stupid, and you probably hate my guts, but, I swear I didn't mean it. Rae, please. At least if you're gonna hate me, tell me, and please don't hurt yourself just because I'm shit. I-"
"Shush. Come in."
...
...
What? That wasn't just my imagination? She's actually telling me to-
"Well? Are you just going to stand there? You know, if you leave your mouth open for that long, a bug might fly into your throat and you'll choke on it."
"...the fuck? Rae-"
"Like I said. Come in. You wanted to talk to me, didn't you?"
"But I thought-"
"Can we not do this in the hallway?"
"Oops. Right." Damn, I really need to pay more attention.
"Stop staring. Sit. So, what did you want to talk about?"
Damn it, Raven! Stop acting like nothing happened! You know exactly why I'm here, and you fucking know exactly how I feel, you stupid empath! "I, uh, brought you something."
"A good luck charm?"
What the fuck. She's smirking. It's never good when she has that look on her face. She's planning something. Oh god, is she really gonna kill me? Is she-
"Will you relax? Sheesh, Jinx."
"But- but I- your mirror- I broke- I didn't listen-"
"Yes, yes, I know. I'm not blind, nor do I have the memory of a goldfish."
"But... what. Does that mean you fixed it?"
"No. Things like that can't be repaired so easily."
"But-"
"Jinx, relax."
She's blushing. Why is she blushing? Is she hiding something? What's she planning?
"I know I kind of ignored you for a few days, but you know, it was only to make you sweat a bit. I already decided to forgive you the moment you told me the truth."
...
"What. The. Fuck. You-"
"Shh. You broke my mirror. I had to get the point across somehow-"
"What. The fuck. You bitch! I was worried! I seriously thought you were gonna like, kill me or something. Or hurt yourself, or- wait. You're seriously not mad?"
"Well, to be frank... I was for a little while, but after experiencing your shitstorm of emotions for myself, I just didn't have the heart to be."
"You... you... you asshole!"
"But you know... these things are just things. Like that thing you made for me, or even my mirror. They're replaceable. You, however, are not. So don't worry. Unless you do something humongously, and intentionally stupid..."
"You- but you- fuck. I thought you were- I don't know. Upset?"
"Maybe a little. I don't know. I realized... ever since that whole deal with my father, I realized that maybe it was time to let go of the past. Make new friends, you know, actually live."
You call staying in your room for three days without food or water living? That doesn't-
"Actually I didn't stay in my room. As a matter of fact, everyone knows what happened. I just told them to keep quiet about it and pretend like they didn't know."
...
"You're evil..."
How can she act so nonchalant about this?! I was actually worried! I thought- well damn. Damn you, Rae.
"In my defense, you did break my mirror when I told you explicitly not to touch it."
"I... true... but still! Ugh. I... guess I don't have the right to be mad though. But shit, that was like... the worst three days of my life."
"I'm sorry. Come here."
She's coming closer.
...
What the fuck, she's hugging me. What the hell's going on-
"Are you just going to sit there, or are you going to hug back?"
"Who the hell are you and what have you done with Raven?"
"Jinx, you dumbass. Don't ruin the moment."
"Heh, sorry. I was just surprised. So does this mean that I'm forgiven?"
"Hmm. Maybe. Maybe not."
"Maybe not?" Uh oh. What's she looking for?
...I don't like the look of that box. I don't- oh god, is that a paddle? And a collar and handcuffs... shit. I really am fucked.
"No, but you're about to be."
Oh no. "Shit, Rae, not the tentacles- please, anything but the tentacles-"
"Sorry babe. Rage asked for to have some playtime, and the only way I could subdue her was to promise to let her out for a little bit. Don't worry too much, she's just going to have a bit of fun."
"Fun? Rae, I can't handle all that double penetration stuff- there's just too much stimulus involved in that!"
"Well now, that's a problem. Too bad I can't do anything about that."
"Yes you can! Rae- Rae, damn it- mmpf!"
A/N: Rest is up to your imagination.