Word count: 2,536. Rejoice!
My new favorite threesome: Hidan, Deidara, and Itachi. Ensuing chaos all around. Anyways, I'm not too happy with the ending, or most of it for that matter because it doesn't really make sense. I'm just happy I finished it.
Basic story-line: First few show the three's childhood. Then, we move onto being a shinobi, Akatsuki, relationships, and death. Oh, woe. This story is also semi AU, since none of us really know Deidara or Hidan's past besides the general outlines.
Enjoy this as much as you can, and give advice, please!
P.S. I don't want to hear anything about the pairing, alright? I like what I like, and I respect that you like what you like, so I don't go around saying Oh, I don't like your story because it was so-so x so-so in it. You don't like the pairing, then you don't read the story. Got it? Good. And for those who will read anything, their relationship can be defined either as friendship or romance. Take your pick.
1.
When Hidan was born, his mother had rejoiced. Well, not really. His mother wasn't really one for rejoicing. Instead, she had smiled warmly and named him on the spot, ignoring the painfully obvious fact that Hidan's father wasn't by their side. After all, she had said, I've always wanted a boy to call my own without some man ordering me around everywhere all the time.
However, the other villagers had been wary of him for many reasons. For one thing, the child didn't look like them, with his silver hair and eyes that looked almost red. The devil's child, they whispered. Hidan's mother had reproached them on their ignorance, saying that he was an albino of course you could see that, any fool could.
"Hidan," she had whispered softly, holding him close to her breast, "You must not revel in the fact that you are different. One day, you will be stronger than any of them and—" She had smiled at this. "Perhaps you will rise to even God's expectations."
And as if he could hear her, the baby gurgled out a sound akin to laughter and smiled.
2.
Itachi had been planned from the start to happen. Not because his parents had wanted to cherish him, to love him, but because the clan had wanted him to become their weapon. A weapon of war is what they regarded him as.
It was a sad fact, a cruel reality, of course. Every child, even a ruthless one, was born so that they could be loved. Itachi was never loved by his elders. He was only wanted for the potential he possessed.
Potential, he thought later, sitting on a porch and watching the sun go down beneath the horizon, is a meaningless word.
3.
Deidara was born in the midst of fireworks screeching around him even as he slipped out of his mother and into the world. The first sound he made when coming into this world was not the sound of crying, but the sound of laughter and delight as he waved his arms up at the night sky.
He didn't even notice as his mother slowly bled to death in the middle of the forest into which she had escaped.
4.
Hidan was seven when he first ventured into the marketplace alone. Almost immediately he was assaulted with whispers, pointedly rude gestures and several deadly glares that for the life of him he couldn't understand why he received.
Two minutes later, the shopkeeper of the local bakery pinched him by the ear and dragged him all the way back to his home, ignoring his cries of pain. The resulting fight between his mother and the baker did nothing to ease the uncomfortable feelings inside him.
5.
When Itachi was seven, he was entered into the academy. He passed with flying colors, of course, and was soon enrolled to be a genin.
All his father said at his graduation was, "As expected of my son."
Itachi had given his father a look, and then looked away with a heavy weight in his heart that he didn't understand why he had.
6.
Deidara first intentionally killed his first person barely after his seventh birthday. It wasn't really his fault—the man had snuck into his house, attempted to rob from a child, and then tried to kill him. It was only fair that he struck back.
Two days later, the landlady came up the stairs and dropped to her knees with a scream at the sight of the body. Deidara had merely greeted her by saying, Hey Obaa-san, do you want some toast, and holding out said toast to the hyperventilating woman.
After another two weeks, Deidara was enrolled in the shinobi academy.
7.
At nine years old, Hidan became a part of the shinobi academy. His mother had told him that he had to go in order to teach himself self-defense. It is so, she had said proudly, they can never harm you or treat you like trash again.
It took him several tries, but he made it eventually, a bare year after he first entered the academy's doors. At his graduation, his mother swept him up in a hug and said, beaming, "As expected of my son."
Hidan had never felt more proud in his life then at that moment.
8.
Itachi massacred a small town at the age of nine, a jounin with spinning red spirals in his eyes. At the end of it all, he was left standing next to his elders, blood splattered against his olive-green vest.
When his superiors weren't looking, he leaned down and whispered in a corpse's ear:
"I'm sorry."
Then he stood and followed his elders out of the dead town, leaving a trail of blood behind him.
9.
Deidara graduated on his tenth birthday. Dancing around in a little circle with his headband high in the air, he kept shouting, "I did it! I did it!" with the silliest grin on his face.
10.
Hidan was fifteen years old when he became a jounin. He had smirked when they granted him the status and said, drawling, "It's about fuckin' time."
The Kage couldn't help but feel a bit relieved that his mother wasn't here at the moment to witness her son's foul-mouthed display. That would have been a disaster.
11.
At fifteen, Itachi had joined the organization Akatsuki for already two years. Sometimes he wondered how Sasuke was doing. Sometimes he wondered if there was more to life then endless plots and twists and killing.
It was too late to go back now though. He lifted the cup to his lips and sipped his tea.
12.
When his landlady found him, she had screamed and called for the medic-nin to please hurry, Deidara's injured. And he was, his palms cut open with a sign decorating each cut. If you looked closely, you could already see the little tongues forming in the fifteen-year old's hands.
13.
Hidan first started to go insane at eighteen. His teammates hadn't noticed anything until they saw him cutting patterns into his skin, the dead corpses in front of him, anything he could get his hands on. It was only thanks to them that he did not die of blood loss that day.
Later when they asked him about it, he said it like it was the most obvious thing in the world. "Shinobi are meant to kill. Shinobi are meant to feel pain. It's about time you started to fucking enjoy it." And then he grinned.
14.
Itachi saw his brother again after five years, now eighteen and partnered with Kisame. He wasn't the least bit shocked when Sasuke attacked him, nor was he surprised to see that Sasuke was learning—and fast.
After all, he mused afterwards, Sasuke would have to exceed him later on. And he would have to kill him.
15.
Deidara seceded from the village at sixteen and joined Akatsuki at seventeen. By then, he had joined a terrorist group and had been bombing the villages for ages now, and he'd enjoyed it; until the Akatsuki had made an offer he just couldn't resist.
And then he met Itachi.
When he first met the Uchiha, he was furious. Those eyes that pierced through everything blatantly denied everything that Deidara stood for. It wasn't right that such a person should exist.
Deidara stubbornly maintained that belief for half of a year before finally giving in and accepting Itachi's offer to go out to eat dango with him.
16.
Hidan was nineteen when he offered up his body for the Jashinist experiments. It took weeks, months even, before Hidan was even ready to stand up after they were finished.
"You are the emissary of Jashin now," said the Jashin priest as Hidan was about to leave for the outside. "You must not fail him, Hidan."
Hidan remembered his mother laughing at his graduation. He remembered his mother standing up for him in front of the baker, legs spread wide apart and eyes slitted with indignation. He remembered his mother crying silently by the window when he left, her tears making dark splotchy patterns on the wood.
I failed her, he thought uncharacteristically. Why shouldn't I fail this God?
Despite this, he laughed, slinging his brand-new scythe over his shoulder and fingering his rosary absently. "Believe me, I won't. Seriously."
17.
Itachi's first impression of Hidan was that of amusement and scorn. The silver-haired Jashinist was brash, blood thirsty and sadistic—the makings of a good psychopath, yes, but not a shinobi. Never a shinobi. So why was he one?
He got Deidara to ask him one day, as Uchihas never asked questions. It just wasn't in their nature (even if most of them were dead).
All he got out of him was a smirk, a swing of his scythe, and the response: "Because it's fun."
Itachi couldn't help but feel a faint dot of intrigue mar his consciousness at that when Deidara told him.
18.
Deidara was the first to get the closest to Hidan. It was mostly because of him hanging around the maniac in the first place, and their eerily similar obsessions at hand. They both had faith in their obsessions, believing them to be one of their top priorities, and they never doubted them.
Once, Hidan started babbling to Deidara (he tended to run his mouth off more than usual when he was tired) that he wasn't so bad, really. Better than most of the bastards in this place, and maybe Red-Eye was as good of a companion as he was.
Deidara was so surprised that he'd stared for ages at the man, sleeping so soundly on the bed with his silver hair strewn everywhere and the most contented look on his face. Then, Deidara smiled as brilliantly as the day he'd graduated.
"Love you too Hidan," he'd laughed softly, then, he quietly exited the room.
19.
Hidan never expected himself to get involved in a semi-romantic relationship. Especially with two men. Especially with two younger men. He was actually beginning to question his sanity on the subject.
He never mentioned it to the two of them, but somehow Itachi just knew. Sometimes when the two were alone, Itachi would look pointedly at Hidan, give a tiny smirk, and then look away again.
To them, that meant far more than words could ever say.
20.
Itachi knew that his two…lovers (he was quite awkward in saying, not to mention thinking those things) were not fully sane. Both were haunted by the past and both had placed all their reliance on their faiths. Their faiths made them strong.
Their faiths made them weak.
Itachi then made a subconscious oath to never leave them alone unless it was his time to go.
21.
Deidara was aware of several facts about his companions. One was that Hidan actually missed his mother, whom he had left behind when he'd slaughtered his neighbors. He still felt guilty about leaving her behind to shoulder all the blame for his deeds. Two was that Itachi was most definitely ill, though he tried to hide it. He also missed his brother, whom he had a picture of in his dresser drawer. And three was that both of them were pretty messed up in the head. Not that he could talk of course, but still.
He had vowed before to take care of them as long as he was still breathing—now, he intensified that vow, saying out loud to himself, "I'll always take care of them. And when I die, I'll wait for them until they come to me, un."
Sasori raised his eyebrows as he chiseled a piece of wood. "What are you talking about brat?"
Deidara started, turned, and grinned. "Nothing, danna."
22.
As Hidan was about to leave for the Cloud village, he felt two hands cascade on his shoulders. He didn't have to turn to know who they belonged to.
"Make sure you come back," Deidara whispered softly. Hidan could feel Itachi's nod of agreement on his back as well.
He grinned. "Don't be so worried you pansies. I'll come back just fine." Then, turning around, he hugged them clumsily and awkwardly before racing away.
23.
Two weeks later, Itachi heard that Hidan and Kakuzu were as good as dead and Zetsu had gone and retrieved their rings before returning. He said that Hidan was alive when he got there, but he wouldn't be for long.
Itachi was surprised to feel a coil of anger twist in his stomach when he heard that.
24.
At the news of Hidan's death, Deidara was furious. How dare he! He had promised to come back. He had promised.
And how dare Zetsu not save him. He quietly seethed on his stone finger.
From across the room, the Leader spoke, his voice tinny and echoing across the room. "Deidara and Tobi will go and assassinate Uchiha Sasuke."
Deidara, filled with blind and righteous fury, grinned sadistically before responding, "Hell yeah! Let's go Tobi!"
"Hai, sempai!"
His last glimpse of Itachi before they vanished was a faint look of hurt spread across the Uchiha's face and the message in his eyes:
Be careful.
Deidara smiled genuinely back before mouthing, I will.
25.
Itachi knew Deidara had died as well when he heard the faint explosion in the distance, and the light that reached even his dying eyes.
He went out with a bang, Itachi thought sentimentally, before turning to the Akatsuki hideout and venturing back inside. His sharingan swirled in the darkness, blood red in the gloom.
His gut twisted slightly as he thought about his dead companions. Hidan, a man who had been sadistic and charming at the same time, but loved (if you could call it love) the two of them all the while. Deidara, who had been craving for attention and love just as much as the other two had been with a smile that even Itachi could see. He smiled just barely.
It was time to finish what he had started.
27.
Itachi opened his bloody eyes to a white sky. He blinked several times.
"Hey, red-eye's awake."
"I didn't know that spirits could still sleep, un."
"Ah, shut it Deidara-chan. Hey, red-eye, get up already. Don't slack off."
Itachi blinked another few times. This had to be a hallucination. Hidan and Deidara, as well as they could be, were squatting down in front of him. Hidan's pale eyebrows were raised impatiently, violet eyes brooding. Deidara just looked happy to see him.
"It took you long enough Itachi, un," Deidara laughed.
Itachi could only blink another time. "Where…"
"Heaven. Or whatever this place is," Hidan snorted. "I fucking doubt it though."
"Maybe it's where we imagined to go," Deidara said, sounding thoughtful.
"As if, blockhead."
Itachi felt the weight that was in his chest finally lift off. It was over. Everything was over. And he was here with Hidan and Deidara, everlasting in this place forever.
Forever.