Note: This is my version of the scene after 5x10! It has no happy ending, at least not right now. I think this is a possibility, how it could end even if its a bad one. This is my first fic and I have to warn you English isn't my first language, so there could be lots of errors.

Gail stood in front of Holly's house, not knowing how she should handle this whole situation. She had accepted that it was over between them, as Holly walked away, leaving her standing in the hallway of the police station, with the same words Nick used, when they broke up. She had hurt all those weeks trying to get over them, but in her heart she knew she would never get fully over Holly. Holly was the first person she had this kind of deep connection that everyone was talking about and everyone wanted to find. In a way she thought of Holly as her first love. Sure she had loved Chris and Nick, but in a different kind of way. In retrospect Gail knew it was because she was a lesbian and there was no chance that she could have made a real connection with the two of them, at least not at the romantic level. Her past relationships had vanished in comparison to the short relationship she had had with the beautiful brunette woman, who was probably waiting for her right now.

These past weeks Gail tried to get over Holly as best as she could and accepted her failure. She has just begun to make the right decisions and right now it was to go through with the adoption of Sophie. A smile crossed her face, when she thought of this beautiful girl she was planning to be a mother for. She was so open-minded, so full of faith that sometimes it took her breath away.

Despite her absolutely wrong timing, Gail knew in her heart that this was the right thing to do. She would try to give Sophie everything this little girl deserved and needed. The love she deserved, the person who would look after her and who took care of her and she had no doubt that she would get back every effort she would make, because this the kind of person Sophie was. The little girl deserved the world and she would try to give it to her.

Over the years Gail had seen many bad destinies in her kind of work. She never had an actual chance to change something, to make something better. This was her chance. She could influence Sophie's fate and take it to a better path. It just felt incredibly right to do it.

Gail knew that it wouldn't be easy and she would have to hold her breath for a long time since the adoption was closed, especially working as a police officer. The long hours, the mentally exhausting work, but other officers did it on a daily basis and she was sure she would, too.

Sophie had changed her, she made her a better person, a caring person. Well, that was not entirely true. Holly started it and because of Sophie she had faith, that she could do it. She had faith that the world wasn't a bad place after all and that her life could get better.

But this left her at the point she was right now. Should she try to work things out between Holly and her? Holly was clearly giving her another chance. But would it be wise to throw dating into the mix, when she just started to build up her own life with Sophie? Her first priority should be Sophie, because that was what she deserved. For the first time in her life, she was about to put another person before herself. She was about to put Sophie's needs before her own.

It was all so confusing right now. Her heart yearned to get beck with the woman she fell so madly in love with, but she had other things to consider now, too. A few weeks ago, she would have jumped at the opportunity, but now she wasn't so sure anymore. That was of course the case that Holly wanted to be with her, after she found out about her adoption plans.

Gail shook her head trying to clear her mind. She needed to do this as rationally as she could, if that was even possible. Taking a deep breath she rang the bell, waiting for Holly to open the door.

"Hey.", she greeted smiling slightly, as Holly answered the door.

"Hey." Holly returned her smile and closed the distance between them, pulling Gail into herself. She inhaled deeply the familiar smell of the blonde. "I have missed you so much!", she breathed into her shoulder.

"Yeah, me too."

Holly felt that something was quite off at this moment, as if Gail was holding back, but she thought it was because they haven't talked about their relationship yet. It was comforting to hold her in her arms again, but a wary feeling was building in her stomach. Gail was acting so differently, then she would have expected. But she didn't know what she expected at all. Holly tried to shrug it off, for the moment she was just glad that Gail showed up at all. They would have that "talk" later.

"Dinner is almost ready. Make yourself at home.", she said, when she withdrew from the embrace and closed the door behind them.

Holly rushed back into the kitchen area, preparing their plates and took them to the table. Gail was already sitting at her place with a glas of red wine, she had poured herself and Holly.

"So how was your day?", Holly tried to make normal conversation, but the tension that was building again was driving her crazy.

"It was good actually." Gail smiled, reaching for her glas.

Holly took a deep breath, there was no way she could eat with the big elephant in the room. It was now or nether. She made it clear that she wanted another chance to make things work between them. She had been miserable these last few month and she wanted badly to make things up. Holly loved Gail. She was this amazing person who took no crap from anyone with a healthy disrespect to the world.

Holly folded her hands in her lap. "I'm so sorry Gail!" she started.

"I didn't mean to ambush you yesterday. This... This whole situation is so messed up, but I want to make it right." Holly said watching Gail intently. The other woman hadn't reacted yet. Holly was unable to read her expression.

"When you left at the Penny, I was so hurt. Maybe I should have defended us. But you are this amazing person and I wanted to make it work with you. I haven't felt so much for a woman in a very long time and I… I just wanted to take it slow, so that we could make it right. But after you hadn't picked up my calls or answered my messages I thought it was over and I started to date again, to get over you. "

Holly took a break from her speech and took a sip of wine.

"Which was not working at all! I want to be with you Gail! I have fallen so madly in love with you and I want to make it right again between us."

Holly observed her, while she was waiting for Gail to say something. As Gail looked into her eyes she saw the tears gathering in them.

Gail sighed and closed her eyes, covering her face with her hands.

"I want to be with you, too.", she said, locking with Holly's eyes. "But I don't know, if it's the right thing to do anymore."

Holly just nodded. This whole situation was messed up, they had both made mistakes, but she wanted to take a chance. She knew it was a long shot getting back together with Gail, but she needed to take it anyway. The way Gail reacted at the interrogation room had put up her hopes of a reconciliation between them.

"Why?" Was the only thing Holly could come up with.

"Many things have changed Holly. I have changed."

"Then what is it?" The tension between them was unbearable. The nagging feeling inside of her was driving her crazy. There had to be a reason why Gail was acting this way. But things couldn't have changed so fast, right? It was barly two month since the whole thing happened.

"I'm going to adopt a child, Holly."

Holly was still deep in her thoughts, when Gail spoke again. She thought she hadn't heard right.

"What?" Holly watched Gail confused, waiting for her to speak again.

"I'm adopting a kid." Gail repeated watching Holly the whole time, while she let the words get settled in.

Many different thoughts were crossing Holly's mind, from suprise to doubt to denail. When she let the words repeat in her mind, she was taken aback. Of all the reasons she expected this was the last one. What could have happened that the blonde would take such a big decision? At first she wanted to ask Gail if she had lost her mind, but the look on Gail's face, showed her, that this wasn't a step she took lightly. The blonde had thought this thing threw.

"But why? I mean…"

"When we were broken up, I worked on a case, where a woman was accidently killed by a bullet. She left a child behind. A beautiful girl. I-I couldn't get this case out of my head and I want to take this chance, Holly. I want to give this kid, Sophie, the life she deserves."

"But?" – Holly couldn't understand this whole situation, it had taken such an unexpected turn. The brunette didn't know how she should handle this. She wanted to be with Gail, to fix their relationship, but a child?

"It's not meant as an accusation. But you changed me Holly. You made me want to try harder to be a better person. You made me see that I could do it and in a way you showed me who I was and I am very grateful for that."

The tears, which were gathering the whole conversation, started to run down Gail's face. Holly couldn't hold her own back anymore, too. It was over. Gail made it clear between the lines, that she didn't want a relationship anymore. She had come to late. Maybe when she had made up her mind a little sooner, they would had have a chance, but right now it was over. She wanted to have kids at some point in her life, with the woman she loved but not right now. It would be a hell of a job, building up their relationship and starting to be a mother for a kid. Gail really had matured to a point were she wanted to adopt a child. Holly was proud of her, this was the woman she wanted to have in the first place, but at the same time she was so unbelievable sad.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. This girl deserves to be happy and I will try everything I could to make her happy!" Gail looked her sternly into the eyes, tears still rolling down her face. Her voice was even so. Holly knew Gail had made up her mind. There was no way she could get Gail to change her mind. It was in her eyes she wanted this.

"And believe me this is hard for me too, Holly. Because you are the first person who really saw me for me and who I fell in love with." Gail sighed.

"I know it's not fair to say that to you, right now, but I needed you to know."

At this words Gail stood up. "We both messed this relationship up." She said, as she walked over to Holly.

"But I am going to build my life with Sophie and I can't throw dating into that mix. And let's be honest I have a lot to learn to be an adult." Gail tried to smile, but failed miserably.

"My first priority will be Sophie and I can't make you wait Holly! You deserve someone, who makes you first in her life and I can't give you that. Not now."

Gail pulled Holly up and threw her arms around her.

"I'm so so sorry, Holly!" She slowly kissed Holly's swollen lips. "I love you so much, but I need to do this for myself and for Sophie. I need to take a chance."

"Gosh, this hurt." Gail whispered, as she parted their lips and she look at Holly. "I still love you."

Holly was sobbing freely now, embracing Gail tightly in her arms.

"I love you, too."

She finally broke the contact between them and locked eyes with Gail again. She knew this was the right decision, but it hurt nonetheless. They as a couple were in no position to adopt a child and it would be too hard for her and Gail to make it work, while she had to go through the adoption process.

She took Gail's face in her hands and kissed her one last time.

Gail withdrew herself from Holly and put on her jacket. One last time she gripped Holly's hands and let their eyes lock.

"Goodnight, Holly."

Gail walked out of her house.