Ban and Ginji hardly speak to each other anymore. That's when Ban remembers the diary Ginji once gave him and decides to confide his pain and doubts in it... Ban X Ginji
I don't know yet whether i'll continue this story or not!
Please bear in mind I'm French so my English is far from perfect!!
Also bear in mind that I do not own the Get Backers, unfortunately! :-D
September 5th
Well, that's how it's supposed to work, isn't it? Writing down the date, and talking to "You". Telling "You" how I feel, telling "You" all the little things that punctuate my meaningless existence… Gee, that sounds pretty stupid… But I can't think of any other way to relieve my pain. "You" will not exist anywhere out of the contact of my pen with your soft green pages. "You" will never answer my questions. "You" will never reason with me. "You" will never cheer me up and make me feel better. "You" will never make me want to be a better person. "You" will never make me feel alive. "You" will never be the puzzle piece that completes me. "You" will never be "Him". The guy who's got the power to make my life either a happy time or a complete mess. Amano Ginji. The Lightning Emperor, as they call him.
Do you know he's the one who gave "you" to me? That was an eternity ago. In another life maybe. Limitless Fortress. That's where my life changed. He always said I'd saved him. I used to believe it too. Bollocks. He's the one who saved me, but now I wish I'd never met his eyes...
Sometime later, he gave me that notebook full of empty pages, "You", and told me that "you" could be useful somehow. I could tell "you" anything, "you" wouldn't tell anyone. It would be "our" secrets. Lovey-dovey Ginji. He'd smiled fondly when he'd seen the flabbergasted look on my face. "What?" he'd asked, "I know you're hiding a lot inside your heart, Ban-chan. About your past. Just write down everything that comes to your mind in this diary and you'll sure feel better. I know too well how it feels like to keep all your pain and joy for yourself and it's nothing good. I've got the same notebook but it's nearly full now, it's always helped me a lot. And stop looking at me as if I was a complete dumbass!"
The little bugger… Of course, he's not a complete dumbass. I just like to pretend he is, but he's much wiser than people may think and he's got the intelligence of the heart, which I've never had.
I had kept "you" for all that time. Never felt like using "you" but never wanted to get rid of "you" neither. Who would have believed I'd have written to "you" one day? The cold-hearted Midoban turning into a sentimental prat. Not me. I didn't need "you". Why would have I needed "you" when I had him? He was everything I needed. But I've lost him now. If it wasn't for that stupid pride of me, I would tell "you" about all the tears I've been crying over him lately. He doesn't know. No one knows. Well, now "you" do, but that doesn't make any change, does it?
It's gonna be a long sleepless night again in the Subaru, alone, and "you" can't do anything about that. Stupid thing! I don't even know why I started writing to "you" in the first place. I suppose I'd better throw you away.