A Certain Man of Zorah

By: Wilona Riva

Disclaimer: I do not own the Bible.

Author's Note: Anyone else find this humorous?

A certain man of Zorah, named Manoah, from the clan of the Danites, had a wife who was sterile and remained childless. The angel of the LORD appeared to her and said, "You are sterile and childless, but you are going to conceive and have a son." (Judges 13:2-3)

She looked at Me as if I was insane. I often get this look, when I take on this form to talk to My creations. Sometimes I wonder if it's worth going to through all this trouble. (sigh) I did make a promise to the first ones to undo the mess they made of My earth.

"You're kidding, right?" she asked Me.

I raised an eyebrow at that. "No," I answered, and proceeded to explain to her how she was to raise her son. He was going to be a headstrong, stubborn mule, but he was also the champion My people needed in this time and place.

I took My leave of her then.

Returning Home, My Son just grinned. "I'd look down below, Father."

Glancing down from Heaven, I saw the woman explain to Manoah, her husband, everything I had just told her. I had to laugh, at the incredulous look on his face. Couldn't blame him. If My wife had come to me with such an outrageous story, I'd think she was crazy as well. I am God; I have no wife. But I digress.

Manoah, that night, came to Me in prayer and asked for Me to send "the angel" back to teach him how to raise the child. He still didn't believe his wife, but he was going to be cautious, just in case she was telling the truth.

Folding My arms, I leaned against a nearby tree and cleared My throat. It was the next day, and Zamorah, Manoah's wife, jumped six feet in the air and landed flat on her posterior. I shook My head in exasperation, hiding My smile.

The woman quickly ran and fetched her husband, who was indeed, quite shocked to find out that she had been telling the truth.

So Manoah asked him, "When your words are fulfilled, what is to be the rule for the boy's life and work?" (Judges 13:12)

I repeated everything I told his wife the day before and then, prepared to take My leave. Manoah stopped Me, his demeanor had caught My attention. He asked Me to stay, while he and his wife prepared a meal for Me. I was flattered, but knew that wasn't necessary. Humans will insist on doing what they will, though.

The angel of the LORD replied, "Even though you detain me, I will not eat any of your food. But if you prepare a burnt offering, offer it to the LORD." (Manoah did not realize that it was the angel of the LORD.) (Judges 13:16)

Manoah, then, asked Me My name. One thing you humans need to understand about Me. I do not have any one name. If I did, you don't need to know it. The names by which I am known explain My characteristics. They are all you need. If you want to call Me anything, "Lord" or "Father" will be acceptable.

"It's not important for you to know My name," I told him. He nodded and left to prepare the burnt offering.

When the altar had been lit and the grain and burnt offerings laid upon it, I left in a most dramatic fashion. I ascended the flame. It would give them something to talk about on those long winter nights for years to come. I love showing off.

As I expected, Manoah freaked out; his wife was more sensible.

"We are doomed to die!" he said to his wife. "We have seen God!"

But his wife replied, "If the LORD had meant to kill us, He would not have accepted a burnt offering and grain offering from our hands, nor shown us all these things or now told us this." (Judges 13:22-23)

It was quite awhile before I quit laughing. Being God has its interesting perks.