". . . Her hand closes on smooth metal. Her fingers test the sharpness of the edge. Perfect. It's a fresh blade. The girls' voices rustle in her head. Their clamoring pushes out all rational thought. She rolls up her sleeve. The bite of the blade kills the nise. It wipes out the memory of those staring faces. Willow loks at her arms, at the life springing from her. Tiny pinpricks of red that blossom into giant pennies" -Julia Hoban
"Hey, Austyn." I looked up from my book—Lock and Key by Sarah Dessen—straight into the cold brown eyes of four girls named Allison Green, Elizabeth Jones, Hannah Bolton and Bailey Banks, otherwise known as "The Girls Who Drove Me Into Self-Mutilation."
I closed my book, grabbed my binder and tried to get up to leave, but Bailey, the bigger and stronger girl of the four, stopped me with such force that I dropped what I was carrying. My binder flew open, knocking my diary out and onto the floor. To my horror, the page my binder was open to was the page proclaiming my love for Seth Clearwater.
Bailey held me down in the chair, while Elizabeth ripped the key to my diary on a chain from around my neck, Allison lifted up my binder to read it, and Hannah picked up my diary. Elizabeth handed Hannah—who was the leader—the key, and it was quickly put in the lock. I kept struggling, but Bailey just held me down harder.
We were in Study Hall, so, naturally, there was no teacher around to see what was going on and put a stop to it. Giggling, Hannah and Allison—who was Hannah's right hand man—started to read my diary. Allison whispered something into Hannah's ear, and Hannah nodded.
Hannah stepped on a chair, then onto the top of my table. "Can I have your attention everyone?" Hannah cried. Immediately, everyone's eyes turned to her. She smiled, and then continued. "Hello, grade nines of La Push Intermediate. As you all know, my name is Hannah Bolton. And I'm sure you all know her—" she pointed to me "—as Austyn Hollington, the self-mutilating frakendork, who know one wants to be friends with, let a lone date. But what if Austyn had a massive crush on someone?" Tears started to prick my eyes. She was going to read y diary out loud. And Seth being just two tables away, sitting with his four best friends—Collin Nobally, Brady Fuller, Tyler Johnson and Ryder McCloy—was only going to add to my embarrassment. Hannah opened my diary. "What if that person went by the name Seth. Skylar. Clearwater." Everyone gasped. My cheeks turned flaming red, as I looked at Seth, who was looking at me with a sympathetic look on his face. "Dear diary, we just got back to school from Christmas break. You should really see how hot Seth looks in his new sweatshirt. It brings out his black hair and sweet chocolate brown eyes. Oh, and don't get me started on his lips. Their just so pink and full and EXTREMLY kissable. I wish I could kiss them all day and night, and then he'd look into my eyes and love me forever. Yours truly, Austyn Hollington-Clearwater XOXO." Everyone in the room was laughing. Seth was just looking annoyed and outraged. I couldn't tell if it was directed at me or at Hannah, but I hoped it was meant for Hannah. Tears were overflowing my eyes by now.
"Dear diary, I don't know if you've noticed this, but I have stalkerish tendencies." A lot of people giggled. My cheeks got redder and redder at every word she said. I tried to make another run for it, but Bailey held me down harder. "For example, I looked up Seth's phone number in the phone book, I know his address, which is 98 Quileute Road. I know his mom's name is Sue Clearwater, her maiden name is Allamakee, and she's forty eight, his dad's name is Harry Clearwater, he had heart and blood pressure problems, and he's forty-nine, his sister's name is Leah Clearwater, she got dumped by Sam Uley a few weeks ago because he wanted to go out with their cousin Emily, she's allergic to shellfish, and is nineteen, and Seth is allergic to Penicillin, he had a hole in his heart when he was born because of his dad's heart problems, he's SUPER popular, plays soccer, basketball and baseball, and he's fourteen. Yours truly, Aus—" In a blink of an eye, Seth had jumped up, ripped the diary from Hannah's hands, closed and locked it, then handed it back to me.
When I struggled this time to get up, Bailey didn't hold me back, mostly because she was too busy laughing, which was what everyone else in the room, except Seth, was doing. I bolted out of the room, out of the school, ran to my house and up the stairs in just ten minutes.
I grabbed a razor blade from the bathroom cabinet, and fell to the floor beside the toilet. I shrugged off my sweater, revealing the puckered, pink, ugly scars of my many previous cuts. With tears running down my red cheeks, I made one long cut from the crook in my elbow, down to my hand, and across the palm. I hissed softly with the pain, but soon stopped, because the pain made my body feel right. Normal.
I watched as the scarlet red liquid flowed from my cut, over my skin and scars, to drip onto the cold tile floor. I cut my arm with the razor blade once more, and then laid my head on the floor, surrounded by all my blood.
I hope you guys like it! And thanks for reading. I honestly don't think this story is very good, but if you like, you can review, and if you have anything bad to say about it, I. DON'T. GIVE. A. FLYING. FUCK. –Cammie