A/N - Ollo, everyone! ForeverAnimated here, and this is my first attempt at Megamind fanfiction. From the first time I saw the movie, (which was AWESOME, and has earned its spot as number one on my favorite Dreamworks movies list) I knew I would have a mountain of fanfic ideas. Repeated viewings of it have only convinced me even more. I started having all these scattered plot-bunnies in my head, but I couldn't come up with a concrete story that I wanted to tell. Plus, I knew if I started on a multi-chaptered fic, I would end up forgetting about it and not updating for a year, as I have done with so many of my previous fics.
So, I came up with the not-so-original idea to do the 100 themes fiction challenge for this movie. This collection of 100 oneshots will all be relating to the movie in some way, with various characters in the spotlight - Megamind, Roxanne, Minion, Metro Man, Hal/Titan, and even Bernard will be making appearances. I want to try and keep these stories as fitting to canon as I possibly can, though there will obviously be some things I will take liberties with - nothing too big, though. Also, no fear: they will all be kept within the same style of the movie, so no really adult themes or language. Some of them will be lighthearted, others may be a bit angsty. Some will take place before the events of the movie, some during the movie, and then others take place many years after the movie.
Keep checking back - if my life doesn't get too busy, I hope to be updating semi-frequently. So enjoy, and give reviews! If you post a review, you will most likely get a response back from me.
So, behold my first Megamind oneshot, featuring everyone's favorite gloomy, saracastic curator.
1. Introduction
Summary: After her report on the construction of the Metro Man museum, Roxanne has an awkward run-in with a certain curator. Pre-movie.
"I'm not allowed to insult guests directly."
"And as the opening day draws near, the city waits with anticipation to pay tribute to its treasured hero and beloved guardian. This is Roxanne Ritchi, reporting live from the almost-finished Metro Man Museum."
Making a "cut" motion with her hand, Roxanne ended the broadcast. Her short, slightly overweight cameraman lowered the video camera and gave the reporter a questioning look.
"Hey Roxie, can I ask you a question?"
Uh oh, here it comes. I wonder what it could be this time, Roxanne thought, internally bracing herself for yet another awkward pass from her unrelenting coworker. Still, she smiled politely and said, "Fire away, Hal."
"Do you really think Metro Man is, like, all that?" He shuffled around erratically, "I mean, I know you guys are … dating and all," Roxanne noted the irritated expression that crossed Hal's face with the word 'dating', "but, I mean, is he really all that awesome and whatever?"
Roxanne had an idea of where he has going with this, so she decided to play it cool. There would be no point in trying to explain that she and Metro Man weren't actually dating. The whole city believed that they were, and to a certain degree, Roxanne had accepted this role, almost as if it was part of her job description. Despite how annoying it became, not to mention how untrue the rumor was, Roxanne knew that her "relationship" with Metro Man brought in good ratings for the news station, which in turn meant bigger bonuses and more promotions for her. And if the city wanted to believe they were a couple, it would be pointless to try and convince them otherwise.
Besides, Roxanne realized, Hal was the last person she wanted to admit this to, because it would only give him more of a reason to pursue her.
She forced a laugh, passing him the microphone she had been holding, "Of course, Hal. He's a hero. The city's lucky to have him." She started to turn and walk up the outside steps of the museum. Directly in front of them, some construction men were finishing up some last minute touches on the Metro Man statue, which was to be the crowning jewel of the museum.
Hal followed clumsily after her. "No, what I mean is, like, do you find him all that? I mean, on camera you always talk about him as if she's some – I don't know – like, amazing dude or something."
This time Roxanne's laugh was a bit more genuine. This guy had got to be kidding himself.
"Hal, Metro Man is a superhero. Of course he's amazing. There aren't many people in this world with laser vision and super-strength, you know." She stopped and gazed up at the enormous statue in front of her. Metro Man's figure stood confidently, lifting a giant globe up over his head, his large biceps flexed.
"Well, yeah, that's cool and all," Hal came right over and, much to Roxanne's annoyance, planted himself right next to her. Reluctantly, she turned to face him. "But, he's still just a guy. He's not even there for you half the time. You know, if I were him, I'd be by your side all the time. Megamind wouldn't even dare try and kidnap you."
Roxanne didn't even know what to say, she just smiled absently and nodded. "Really, Hal?"
"Yeah, I totally would," He bragged, "And I'd be there for you always, unlike Metro Man."
Roxanne shook her head sadly. Hal was the only guy in the city who would even consider saying such things about Metro Man. Well, aside from Megamind, but still – Megamind was Metro Man's nemesis. He was supposed to say those kind of things to put down the hero.
She decided to come to the defense of the city's protector. "Now, Hal, that's not really fair, you know. Metro Man has a lot of duties as a superhero. He can't be my side all the time." Not that I would want him to be anyway, Roxanne thought to herself.
Hal gave an overdramatic sigh, and Roxanne fought the urge to roll her eyes. "I just don't see why people think he's such a hero," he added bitterly.
Roxanne hesitated for a moment, and then decided that she really didn't want to continue this conversation. It felt wrong somehow. "Well, I'll see you tomorrow, Hal." She said, forcing her voice to sound pleasant.
"Wait a minute, you aren't riding back with me?" Hal questioned.
"No, I decided I'd check out the museum a little more first." For one time, she wasn't stretching the truth to get away from him. She was genuinely interested in exploring the museum some more. They had only passed through quickly when they did their broadcast, and Roxanne, being the nosy reporter that she was, decided that she wanted to take a more in-depth look.
"Oh, okay. That's cool I guess." Hal conceded. She could tell he didn't want to leave her side, but she could also see that he was reluctant to stay in any place where they were honoring Roxanne's supposed boyfriend. "So I'll see you on Monday? And maybe we can get coffee in the morning?" He added hopefully.
"Uh, maybe…I might have work to do."
"Well, okay," Hal backed away slowly, still hesitant to leave. "I guess … maybe … we'll just see each other then and figure out … yeah. Well… bye, Roxie." He finally turned around and descended the marble steps.
Roxanne breathed a sigh of relief and walked on, keeping her gaze in front of her, and trying to get a safe distance away from her departing coworker. When she was finally inside the museum and out of view, she slowed, shaking her head silently and allowing herself to collect her thoughts. Hal was really becoming unbearable. She wondered briefly if she should mention his behavior to her boss, but then realized it would do no good. While he was awkward and persistent, he had never done any real harm to her. He was little more than a slight nuisance, and would it really be fair to get him in trouble for that?
Remembering what she was here to do, Roxanne pushed her thoughts about Hal out of her head, and continued walking over to some of the half-finished displays, thankful that her press-pass allowed her access to the building. It meant that she would truly have a first-hand look, and she wouldn't have to bother with fighting the crowds on opening day. She still would have to go on opening day, for appearance's sake, so she would truly enjoy having the museum all to herself now, with the exception of some of the construction men and a few of the museum employees milling about here and there.
As far as she could tell from what was already assembled, the first floor was split into two sections that connected in back, with two separate entrances from the front outside. She had entered through the "Hero" side, where there were not only displays regarding Metro Man, but other heroes through history as well. Along the wall, she noticed a few long, flowing banners which read phrases such as "bravery", "strength," and "determination." Roxanne smiled wistfully. Those were the qualities of a true hero.
She went on to read panels about Metro Man's super senses. On one, there was a large diagram of his eye, detailing the unique structure that allowed him to channel his laser vision. She walked on. Towards one wall, she saw two large models of DNA strands. One was labeled "human", and the other was labeled, "Metro Man." She could immediately tell the difference – Metro Man's DNA seemed to contain three helixes instead of two, as well as more nucleotides. This was probably what accounted for his super-strength, Roxanne realized.
Roxanne worked her way to the back, reading panels along the way, until she came to the second section of the museum: the "Villians" side. She smirked to herself. Now she could see just how accurate this information was. She knew that the public had a certain perception of Megamind, and she also knew just how little they really knew about the man with the blue skin and oversized cranium. He had been kidnapping her for years, and in a strange way, she took pride in the fact that she was probably the only person in Metro City, aside from Metro Man himself, who saw the villain for who he really was: a rebel with a hunger for attention, who employed a variety of oh-so-predictable "torture" devices on her, and loved to banter over-dramatically with his super-powered rival. No big deal.
She was surprised to find, however, just how sparse this section of the museum was. True, they were in the midst of construction, but still, there was very little information concerning her frequent kidnapper.
Ironic, she thought, for all the trouble that he stirs up and all the negative-attention he thrusts upon himself, there was very little that the city cared to know about the man whom their hero fought with the most often.
She was about to make her way up the escalator, when she paused for a moment to look through the glass windows of the museum, out to the statue of Metro Man. Hal's words suddenly came echoing back to her: "I just don't see why people think he's such a hero."
Roxanne had to admit, sometimes Hal made some unknowingly insightful comments.
The reporter sighed as she took in the sight of the statue. She always felt that it was a little over-the-top. Then again, that was the way the city viewed him, and that was the way she always painted him in her broadcasts. He was the hero - the city's savior.
And yes, Metro Man had done heroic things. Aside from battling Megamind on a semi-regular basis, the superhero had also stopped robberies, saved families from burning buildings, and even helped retrieve kittens that were stuck in trees.
But still … did that really qualify him as a true hero?
Roxanne hated to be thinking about him in this manner, but it was a question that had been in the back of her mind for a while, and now, looking at the statue, she started to ponder it again. Bravery, strength, and determination: those were the qualities of a true hero.
Was Metro Man brave? She had heard somewhere that true courage was about being scared to death, yet plunging right into disaster anyway, in order to do the right thing. She sincerely doubted that there was any time in Metro Man's life where he was truly scared. After all, nothing could harm the man. He was invulnerable.
Was Metro Man strong? Well, physically – he certainly was. But Roxanne knew that strength was more than that. It was inner strength – the strength of character – that mattered the most.
Was Metro Man determined? She realized that she didn't know if she had a concrete answer to this one. He was certainly prompt in arriving to save her whenever she was kidnapped. But if the chips were down, would he truly be there for her and for the city?
Realizing that she was doing no good just standing there and thinking, Roxanne turned from her position by the window, and suddenly collided with something – no, someone.
Everything happened too fast. The impact shocked her, and the man gave a low "oof", as she knocked him back slightly. His hand, carrying a half empty Styrofoam cup of coffee, jerked and splashed the coffee all over himself.
Roxanne took a step back and gasped. "Oh no! I'm so sorry!" She apologized, reaching out hesitantly and surveying the man she had knocked into. He was about her height, but skinny, with a large mess of unruly blonde hair and glasses.
The disgruntled man drenched in coffee let out a low groan and looked up at his assailant. "No, it's alright," he said in a tone which clearly implied that it wasn't all right, "I just love getting my coffee spilled all over me."
Roxanne winced slightly. She was feeling terribly bad about the whole thing.
"I'm sorry," She began digging around in her coat pockets until she came up with a packet of tissues. "Here, let me help you," she offered.
"No need," The man said abruptly, putting his hands up defensively. "I've got a change of clothes in my office. You've done enough."
Roxanne frowned. This guy was not making it easy for her, and she already felt bad enough as it was.
"Well, at least allow me to buy you another cup of coffee," she said, gesturing to the now empty cup. The man groaned again, and she took that as an agreement. "It was regular, right? And how many creamers do you take?"
"Two," The man replied gruffly, as he started to walk back to where Roxanne assumed his office was located, "And five packets of sugar. Shaken not stirred."
"Right. Okay, I'll just be a minute then." Roxanne quickly darted out the door and to her car, to head towards the nearest coffee shop.
She returned a few moments later with a steaming hot beverage and some napkins, and she found the man right where she had left him, dressed in khaki-pants with a blue turtleneck and a brown suit jacket.
"Finally," he said with a slight sneer, as Roxanne handed him his coffee. "I was beginning to think you had left the scene of the crime."
Roxanne offered him a very polite, yet forced, smile. "I really am so sorry for all of that earlier. I was so deep in thought that I guess I just wasn't watching where I was going."
"Apparently," he dead-panned, pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose with his free hand.
The reporter decided to ignore that comment and offered the man her hand. "Well, I should probably introduce myself. I'm Roxanne Ritchi, I work for the…"
The man coldly ignored her hand. "I know who you are. You're the reporter who Megamind always kidnaps."
Roxanne let out a small, polite laugh, withdrawing her hand awkwardly and using it to brush her bangs back. "Yes, that seems to be how everyone in the city knows me."
"Not me," the man replied dully, "Not anymore. Now, you'll always be the woman who made me spill my coffee."
"Yeah…" Roxanne said awkwardly. Wow, this guy sure had a way of making a girl feel right at home.
"May I ask what you're doing here … in the museum … when it hasn't opened yet?" The man asked rudely.
"Well, I've been doing a broadcast on the soon-to-be opening of this museum," Roxanne explained, "And so I've just been exploring."
"You mean taking advantage of your position as a member of the press to gain access to the museum before its opening." The man pointed out, an un-amused scowl etched into his face.
Roxanne gritted her teeth. "And I don't believe I've caught your name…" She said, trying as best as she could to maintain her composure and politeness after his very pointed comment.
"Bernard," The man said with a slight shrug of his shoulders. Roxanne noticed that he had a bit of drawl to his voice.
"So, Bernard, I take it you work here?"
"Yes," he responded, taking a sip of his coffee. "I'm one of the curators – the only one for the villain section," he gestured half-heartedly to the room in which they were standing. "I'm an expert on all things Megamind." He added, a superior-sounding edge starting to creep into his rather nasal voice.
"Really?" Roxanne had to admit: her interest was piqued. "That's funny. From the looks of things, this section seems pretty bare."
"You do realize that the museum is still under construction, don't you?" Bernard said sourly.
"Of course, I do. I guess I was just expecting it to be further along in development, that's all." Roxanne wondered why she was still talking to this man. Aside from Hal, he was probably the most unpleasant guy to converse with. Hadn't he ever heard of anything called emotion?
She continued, however, too curious about the museum to be dissuaded. "So, Bernard, what can you tell me about the Metro Man Museum?"
"Is this an interview?" He asked with a slight whine.
Roxanne blinked. "Uh … no, of course not."
"Good," Bernard said simply. He paused for a moment, making Roxanne feel slightly uncomfortable, until he began again, his voice completely devoid of emotion, "The left side of the Metro Man Museum contains all the information one would ever hope to find on Metro Man: his powers, his origins, his childhood, et cetera." Roxanne noticed that he talked as if he was reading out of a phonebook. "This section is the villains section, where one can read information regarding some of Megamind's past plots, as well as a detailed list of all the crimes he's committed against the city, and some theories regarding his depraved criminal mind."
Roxanne almost laughed at this. Depraved criminal mind? She knew Megamind well enough to realize that, although he was a criminal, there was nothing in his behavior that suggested he was depraved. The more time she spent as his captive, the more she realized that he was just a ridiculous, childish man who acted out to draw attention to himself. She did not tell Bernard that, though, for fear that he would quite possibly mock her observations.
Suddenly, she had a thought. Although Bernard was probably the most cold and emotionless individual she had ever met, it would probably be wise to keep in contact with him. Who knows? He could be of some use to her, maybe even provide information she needed for future broadcasts.
"What else do you need to know?" Bernard asked, sounding bored out of his mind.
"Actually, I was wondering if I could maybe get your number," Roxanne admitted, "You being an expert on Megamind and all, as well as the curator of this museum, you might be able to provide some useful information for some of my upcoming broadcasts."
Bernard groaned. "I knew it. This was an interview." Before Roxanne could respond, he whipped a small business card out of his suit jacket. "Cell phone number is written on the back," he muttered, handing her the slip of paper.
"Thank you very much, Bernard." Roxanne said, flashing him what she liked to call "her camera smile."
"Don't know why I bothered." He added. "After all, you did spill my coffee."
Roxanne's camera smile faded. He was never going to let her live that down, was he?
So, there you have it! When Roxanne met Bernard...
Okay, so this whole idea for this oneshot came from some of the lines in the film, when Roxanne is talking to the real Bernard. She obviously has met him before, and I assumed their meeting was less than pleasant due to the whole, "I didn't know you had feelings," line. And we know that she does have his cell phone number - since she was able to get in contact with Bernard/Megamind. That left me wondering why and how she got it, and the story kind of came from there.
I originally wasn't planning on having Hal there at the beginning or have Roxanne wonder about Metro Man's heroism. But then I realize if Roxanne is doing a broadcast, she'll need her cameraman there, so that put Hal there and gave me a chance to write awkward moments for the both of them. (And I have to admit, writing for Hal was a little more fun than I anticipated. lol.)
The whole "Heroes and Villains" side of the museum came from my observations of the movie. When Roxanne enters the museum in the beginning, you'll notice that everything surrounding her is related to Metro Man and there's even a pillar towards the one side with the word "heroes" on it. When Megamind enters, he enters from the opposite side, and you can see a little model of what looks like his "Spi-yi-der" bot. Aside from that, there is very little in the room around him, and nothing Metro Man related. That gave me the idea that the different sides are housing different information. Plus, the fact that Bernard is on staff there when he is "an expert on all things Megamind" gives an indication that at least some of the museum is dedicated to the villain. (On a side note, I thought it was really cool how, during the movie, Roxanne enters through the one side and Megamind enters through the other, yet when they go down after Megamind is disguised as Bernard, they both exit through the "heroes" side. Very clever foreshadowing, creators. Very clever foreshadowing, indeed...)
Bernard spilling coffee was sort of borrowed from another fanfiction, in which Bernard/Megamind gets coffee spilled on him by Roxanne and they have a little chat about their relationship. For the life of me, I cannot remember what the name of that fanfiction is. But if you recognize the moment, that is where it came from.
And I hope I made Bernard in-character. OOC characters in fanfiction are a pet peeve of mine, so please let me know how I did in your reviews. It is hard to write for Bernard, since he has very few lines in the movie to begin with.
And also, Roxanne's perspective of Megamind is obviously NOT the way she feels about him after the movie. This was how she viewed him before she got to know him better through the Bernard disguise, and before he became the hero. Due to the way she treats him in the beginning of the movie, I imagine this would be the way she views him.
So, that's about it in terms of author's notes. Please review! I'm curious to know what you all think.