Characters:
Red Bird - Red
Blue Bird - The Blues (one of them will be featured and referred to as "blue bird")
Black Bird - Bomb
Boomerang Bird - Hal
Yellow Bird - Chuck (mentioned)
White Bird - Matilda (mentioned)
Big Brother Bird - Terence (mentioned)
Tsui a.k.a. the phony FBI agent who once "disarmed" a bomb back in the 1980s during the incident involving the infamous "Black Gloves" syndicate and coasted since then...or did he?
Several cameo appearances...just look for them.
One day, the gang were looking at the story written on FictionPress and became outraged after learning that there's a person who hates them because of the hype regarding the Angry Birds craze.
"Grrr, I'm pissed off!" Red growls.
"Yeah man, I'm gonna busta cap in his ass once I see him!" said Bomb.
"I got the blues..." blue bird moans.
"Yes, really Bomb, for the love of god...just stop." Red snarled.
"What? Don't be hatin' on a brotha like that!" said Bomb.
"That sort of shit got us into trouble last week when we went to visit Harlem, just stop already!" Hal yells.
"Come to think of it, where the heck is Matilda and Chuck?" blue bird asked.
"Chuck have been arrested for impersonating Bert from Sesame Street and will be away for a while...Matilda...she was struck by lightning...she's dead!" Red answers with an intense anger in his tone.
"Wait, really? Come on, what happened to Matilda?"
"Ever since she saw that movie Fist of Fury 1991 II, she decided that she wanted to learn that technique that involves getting struck by lightning in the middle of a thunderstorm...all what was left wa-"
"Oh god!" Hal interrupts.
"For the love of god of what's important, stop interrupting me!" Red shouts as he headbutts the boomerang bird, sending him spinning several blocks before returning minutes later, causing the bird to become dizzy and puke onto several passerbys.
The pissed off birds looks on as their friend continues to puke up what he ate that morning for another several minutes until there was nothing left in his stomach. Afterward, the boomerang bird spend another few minutes to recover before asking the red bird another question in regards to the rest of the flock and a massive red bird known as big brother bird.
"What happened to the others?"
The red bird became annoyed and said, "The others including Terence..."
"Terence? That's his name? He has a name?"
"Please shut the fuck up, you know that too...we all know that but I have a feeling that the guy writing this story doesn't have a clue about us other than what he heard from somewhere like that wiki site." said Red.
"Anyway..." he continues.
"The others flew into the restricted airspace and were shot down...they're all gone...all of them...gone...DAMN IT ALL TO HELL!"
The surviving flock have never seen the red bird this angry and red before which is saying something as he's always pissed off.
"So...about this one writer who badmouthed us, what are we going to do to him?" asked blue bird.
"We'll kick his ass!" Red shouts.
"Yeah, we'll beat this mothafucka down to the rough side of Harlem yo!" said Bomb.
"Crikey, we'll hit him with a knife if he tries to beat us with a spoon." said Hal in his attempt at a Austrailian accent.
"Where does his live?"
"According to his profile page, this asshole lives in Singapore." said Red.
"Let's go to Singerpore then!" said Hal, dropping his fake Aussie accent.
"To Singophore!" Bomb exclaims.
"So...where is Singapore?" said Red.
The birds begin to look at each other in confusion.
"What? I thought you know."
"We were hoping you know!" said Hal bird.
"Where is da globe yo?" Bomb snapped.
"All I heard is that Singapore is in Asia, maybe we should just head to there and we'll find something!" said Red.
"Yes, let's go, we're in California so we should go west!" yelled blue bird.
Moments later, the pissed off birds looks from the coast of a western state.
"There it is, just miles from here, we can get to Singapore." said red bird.
"I get there fast and easy yo stupid mothafuckas!" said Bomb as he prepares to launch himself from a slingshot that happens to be placed in the beach for an unknown reason.
"See ya sucka!"
Upon launching himself, the black bird hits a flock of seagulls, creating a firework display which would be mistaken by several tourists as a part of Michael Bay's movie shooting that happens to be taking place at the same time.
"So Bomb is dead, what are we going to do now?" moaned blue bird.
"We fly!" Red yelled.
So the flock sets off to Singapore in hopes of taking their revenge against a fanfiction writer who badmouthed them in his free time.
Hours after setting off, the birds got lost.
"Hey red, are we sure we're going in the right direction?" blue bird asked.
"Yes we're in the right direction, just keep flying and we'll get there you dumbass!" Red answered.
"We'll get there faster if you guys move like I do!" said Hal as he begins to spin right ahead of the flock. In time, the boomerang bird continues to spin for several more miles until he suddenly made an abrupt turn and would never be seen again.
Red bird and blue bird continues to press on as the wind starts to blow against them.
"Red, we need to bail, I don't want to leave the other blue birds alone...they're my family!" blue bird cried.
"Then go you pussy, I'm going to get our revenge myself!" the red bird yelled.
Blue bird would never make it back as the exhaustion have finally got the best of him less than an hour later, causing him to fall into a smokestack on a passing ocean liner.
As for the red bird, luck would soon have it when he came across a cargo ship that happens to he heading in a same direction as he is. Not only that, due to his limited knowledge on certain things, the fact that there are Chinese characters written on the ship along with some English words gave red bird an impression that it's heading toward Singapore.
"Finally, I can take a break and cruise all the way to Singapore to kick that bastard's ass!" Red thought.
After spending the next few weeks stowing away in the freighter, living on discarded scraps of food dropped by the crew members, the ship finally made its way to the harbor where it would soon dock.
"Finally, after all this time...can't believe it took a lot longer than expected...I'm pissed off!" Red mumbles to himself.
Once the red bird made his way to the harbor, he looks around and thought, "So the is Singapore huh? Looks like a better version of Chinatown, not bad but still, there's that bastard who trashed us in his fanfiction? Can't believe his screen name is just like my name!"
Red then sets off in search of the culprit, not realizing that he's in Hong Kong.
Meanwhile, somewhere nearby...
"Mr. Tsui, where have you been? The film studio had to hold back the production as it cannot start without the director!"
The director looks at the representative send by the producer and said, "I'm sorry but I have a mission you see? For I am the member of the F.B.I. and it is my duty to track down and beat up the baddies trying to destroy Hong Kong!"
The studio's representative turns to his colleague and said, "What's with him?"
"Ever since he helped saved Inspector Alfred Au's life in the incident with the Black Gloves syndicate, the whole thing have gotten way over his head. He really did think he's with the F.B.I. to the point that he decided to practice some martial arts techniques he have seen in several wuxia films."
"What?"
"I know." the colleague sighed.
Then Tsui begins marching while chanting, "Beep boo, beep boo, beep boo..." when a red bird flies over and said, "Oh god shut the fuck up!"
The three looks up in surprise and the representative said, "Did that bird just talked? And it's red and..."
The F.B.I. wannabe points to the bird and shout, "You are the baddie I have been waiting for to challenge me!"
Red, misunderstanding the context of Tsui's declaration, assumes that the person from Singapore have been waiting for him so he said, "Your time has come as you have pissed me off, grrr!"
The nutty lunatic then said, "You pissed me off as you came to start wars, you're not committing terrorism like your people have done for over the past decade!"
The red bird became redder than ever and said, "What? That's bullshit, don't make me angry...you don't like me angry!"
Tsui then pulls out a sword he have been carrying from his side and said, "Do it, I want to see the fruits of my training!"
The arrogance irked Red to the point that the red bird begins to turn green and expand in size.
The commotion between the two attracted so much attention that people begin to gather around to see what it is all about.
After completing his transformation, Red growls and said, "Red angry!" as he smashes a car right next to him.
Tsui prepares for an oncoming assault as Red picks up the smashed car and chucks it right at him. The phony F.B.I. agent then leaps into the air to perform a series of backflips before landing on top on a passing car where he would proceed to jump toward the red Hulked up bird with a series of slashes toward him.
This causes Red a great deal of pain as his chest begins to bleed but this serves to make him even madder as he then punches right through the blade onto Tsui, sending the man flying across the block into the electronics store. Soon, the sparks starts to fly all over the place as Tsui emerges from the fiery explosion that should have killed him but instead came out with his clothes slightly burnt and his hair resembling that of a mad scientist.
Tsui raise his right fist that have been enveloped with enormous amount of electricity and said, "You are now finished!"
Shocked, Red screams, "HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE? THIS SHOULD HAVE KILLED YOU!"
The phony F.B.I. agent begin to laugh and said, "It all happened that one night when I was practicing my sword technique, it was raining like hell and suddenly I was hit and felt this amazing surge of power running through my body! It took me a while to realize what just happened that time, I HAVE MASTERED THE ELECTRIC FIST!"
"THAT CAN'T BE! THAT TECHNIQUE IS IMPOSSIBLE! MANY HAVE TRIED AND FAILED! EVEN DOUG MILLER COULDN'T MASTER IT!" someone screamed.
Angered by the screaming, the crowd quickly beats up the obnoxious tourist.
Red throws a fire hydrant at Tsui who then fires a beam of electricity out of his hands, blowing it to bits. Soon, the stream of electricity hits Red, sending him into the sky where the red bird was quickly reduced back to his original form. Tsui then fires another wave at the red pissed off bird, knocking him away where he would wind up close to a local barbeque duck restaurant where the charred remains was discovered by one of the long time employees.
Surprised at what just dropped right in front of him, the employee picks it up and enters the restautant to show it to his boss, Hui Kei.
"What the? Cuttlefish, where did you get that? I've seen this before, get rid of it!" Kei demanded.
Cuttlefish sighs and said, "Why? It doesn't seem like the bird flu wo-"
"You have no idea, this bird is dangerous!"
Kei grabs the red bird from his employee's hand and quickly darts outside where he tosses it in a random direction. Seconds later, a loud explosion follows, causing a small earthquake as several parked vehicles were destroyed.
Cuttlefish looks on with a terror in his face as he realize the reason why.
"H-how did..."
Kei sighed and said, "People liked to play this crappy game, I don't get the hype but hopefully, it'll finally die down."
Author's Note: If you want to know the particular fanfic referred to in this story, look up my profile where the link is provided.
Be sure to check out the follow up to this story, Flappy Bird Dies.