Okay, so this is set after the graduation party in Eclipse. Alice had the vision that the newborns are coming to Forks, and the pack has agreed to join the Cullen's to fight the newborns. If you haven't read Eclipse, this won't make sense lol. Anyways, this takes place just after Jacob leaves. I'm new at this, so go easy on me ok haha :P
Disclaimer: I do not own this, the characters all belong to the wonderful Stephenie Meyer :)
My entire body froze, fighting to remain calm as I watched Jacob walk away. My heart was pounding furiously trying to jump out of my chest, while I tried to control the welling water in my eyes. I forced myself to breathe at a constant rhythm, knowing that this was not the time for one of my famous black-outs. Every fibre of my being was begging me to remain calm, while my mind was screaming panic. I couldn't believe Jacob was offering to do this; fight the newborns. I had seen firsthand how malicious and dangerous vampires can be, I couldn't let him and the pack risk their lives just for me. I couldn't believe that Alice had even agreed to this. She must realise how dangerous this is going to be for them? Of course no-one cared about their safety, including the pack themselves; no, especially not them. Apparently I was the only one thinking rationally around here. They were all so young, inexperienced. They shouldn't be forced to risk their lives to fight a coven of sadistic, cruel newborns, just to save me. It would be so easy for the newborns to... No I can't think it. I shook my head trying to dispel the thoughts that were invading my head.
I looked around, hoping to find the one person who could make me feel better; Edward. I hadn't seen him since he excused himself earlier, and now when I needed him the most he was nowhere to be seen. I was quite frustrated with him at this moment if I was being truthful. As much as I understood his protective nature, and loved him for it, sometimes I just wanted him to be a partner instead of always the defender. As soon as Alice had her vision tonight, he immediately left my side to, I assume, to inform the rest of the family. Did it ever occur to him that maybe I wanted to know what was going on? That maybe I wanted to discuss this with him, rather than find out with Alice while she bargains with a bunch of wolves. Was my opinion in this situation not valid enough for anyone to consider?
"I'm just going to step out for some air", I said softly to Alice as I began to pass her.
She grabbed my wrist as I was walking past and pulled me around to look at her. Her eyes were alight with relief, and a small smile played on her lips. "Bella, you have absolutely nothing to worry about you know? Now with the werewolves on our side, we will be more than prepared. Trust me, it'll be a piece of cake!"
"Sure sure, Alice" I replied, using Jacob's saying, and continued out the glass doors to the back porch.
A cold winter breeze glided across my body as I walked out onto the patio. I walked towards the far side of the patio, avoiding the few people that lingered out here. They were all engrossed in small chit-chat, enjoying the party, and barely noticed me walking past. I was grateful for this; now of all times I couldn't keep up the fake-happy-hostess role. I wrapped my arms tightly around my mid-section as I glanced towards the night sky. I breathed in deeply, trying to control the unthinkable thoughts that continued to bombard my mind. It was bad enough that the entire Cullen family were going risk their lives for me, but to have the wolves do the same; it killed me. The thought that something might happen to my family or my pack, caused a fire of pain to rip through my heart. Not to mention the fact that the only one person to blame would be me. It took every ounce of self restraint to stop myself from running to Seattle, and giving the newborns what they desired most; me. If that wasn't enough, I had to worry about the fact that there would be over twenty uncontrollable, bloody thirsty vampires ravaging through Forks. If any human were to be in the wrong place at the wrong time... I shuddered at the thought.
However, as guilty as it made me feel, the main worry that was playing on my mind, the main concern that caused an agonizing hole to tear through my chest was the thought of something happening to him. Although it's only been minutes since I had his arm securely wrapped around my waist, it feels like a life time. The fact that the wolves have to unite with the Cullen's proves to me just how serious this situation is; and now the idea of something happening to Edward was on the forefront of my mind. I continued gazing at the stars, shining in black night sky, wishing that for once, everything could just be at peace. It feels as though I was up against a never ending war, determined to thoroughly destroy every aspect of my life. I hadn't even noticed the tears rolling down my cheeks, until I tasted a salty tear on the side of my lip. I quickly wiped away the remaining tears that lingered on my face, and breathed in a deep sigh. At that moment I felt the icy cold steel arms wrap around my waist from behind me, immediately healing the gaping hole that was threatening to tear me apart. The familiar feeling of relief washed throughout me as I grabbed his arms and pulled them tighter around me. His cold lips softly brushed the bottom of my neck and slowly made their way up to my ear.
"Are you ok?" he whispered softly in my ear.
Not trusting my voice I simply nodded.
His arms gripped my waist and gently spun me around so I was now facing him. His golden eyes searched mine as his fingers lightly caressed my warm cheek. "I'm sorry" his velvet voice whispered, as his scent blew across my face. "For everything. For putting you through all of this. But you don't have to worry Bella, that I promise you. Nothing will happen to you. I will not allow anyone to hurt you, you understand?"
More tears began to escape my eyes, as I continued to stare at Edward, to afraid to open my mouth. Edward sensed my fear, and his eyes became anxious as he placed both hands on my face.
"Bella, love, please don't be afraid" he begged. "Everything will be ok, I promise with every fibre of my being I will stop at nothing to make sure that no harm will ever come to you."
What he didn't understand is that was exactly what I was afraid of. My life, my existence, meant nothing if it wasn't spent with him. To save me, he had to save himself, because there was a very fine line between being physically alive and emotionally alive. He may be able to save my body, keep me breathing and 'alive', however without him, that is all that would exist, a body. An empty shell, that contained nothing but heart-ache, anguish and desolation. There was no doubt in my mind that the only way to save me, was to save him.
"Bella? Please say something. Anything. I need to know what's going on in there. Please?" Pain etched into his features, as eyes continued to search mine, begging for a glimpse into my silent mind.
The unbearable thought of losing him was currently assaulting my mind, but I wasn't ready to say it out loud yet, so I quickly searched my mind for another topic to delve into. "You left me", I whispered hoarsely.
Confusion flooded his features, which was soon replaced by pain. As his eyes became more anguished, I cursed myself internally for being so stupid – what is wrong with me? "No I don't mean that" I continued quickly, conveying to him that I wasn't implying his departure last year. "I mean before, when Alice had her vision, you left me."
His expression immediately softened, and became more relieved; however his eyes were still full of pain and confusion as to what I was getting at. "I'm sorry Bella, I know I shouldn't have left you alone at a time like this, but you were perfectly safe, I would have never left your side if I thought you were in danger."
Once again he misconstrued what I was trying to say. "No, I don't mean that either. I know I was safe, I never doubt your ability to protect me. What I mean is exactly that though – you always protect me." His brow furrowed, and his eyes clouded in confusion as he tried to understand what my mind was thinking. "I know that you have a compulsive need to protect me from everything that may cause me harm" I continued softly, "and I love and appreciate you more than you know for that, but sometimes I just need you to be my partner, not my protector. Tonight, when Alice had her vision, you immediate reaction was to consult your family, and in turn you neglected to tell me what was going on. Did it occur to you that maybe I wanted to know what was happening? That I wanted to be consulted? I wanted to discuss this with you, not with Alice and Jacob while they discuss their strategies for attack. I'm just... I'm sick of being treated like an invalid, with no opinion. I know, and understand that everything you do is for me, to protect me, but sometimes I don't want protecting. Sometimes I want to be included, and be treated like my thoughts actually matter".
His burning golden eyes scorched into mine, as he stared at me in silence. I could see his mind turning, internally debating his protective nature over me. He scrutinized my face, searching for what, I'm not sure. He seemed to find whatever he was looking for though, and before long he let out a heavy unnecessary sigh. His icy cold hand softly trailed along my cheek down my jaw line, leaving a burning trail of fire in its path.
"You're right" he murmured softly as his hand continued to trail down my neck, shoulder, arm, and finally coming to rest when it found solace in my hand. He squeezed my hand softly, as his anguished, remorseful eyes met mine again.
"I'm sorry" he whispered, his voice burning with regret. "I'm sorry if it felt like I abandoned in you, and that I wasn't there when you needed me. I strive so hard to fulfil your every need, but it seems I'm always absent when you need me the most." I kicked myself internally, cursing myself for bringing it up in the first place. Nothing was worth seeing this torment burning in his beautiful eyes. "Every action, every decision I make, is revolved around you, to protect you", he continued softly. My need to keep you safe seems to overpower everything else, I sometimes lose all rationality. For the past 108 years I have come accustomed to making decisions solitary, that I have forgotten that I now have someone to consult", his hand squeezed mine briefly, a small smile playing on his lips. "I'm new to this relationship thing as much as you are, consulting and sharing decisions is going to something I'll have to work on. I'll try though, I promise."
He tugged on my hand softly, pulling my body closer, until I could feel every inch of his cold marble body press against mine. His lips lightly brushed mine, as he chuckled softly. "I have an eternity to work on it at least" he mumbled against my lips, before pressing them more forcefully against mine. One hand moved to the small of my back, pulling me tighter against his stone cold body, whilst his other caressed my cheek softly. His lips devoured mine, full of passion and want, until he realised I wasn't kissing him in return. My body was frozen in place, as his words replayed in my mind, taunting the agonizing thoughts to once again terrorize my mind. Eternity, he had whispered against my lips; eternity. My mind was trying to grasp that word, and remind myself that it was a possibility, however that word seemed like the futherest thing from reality at the moment.
"Bella?" Edward's voice whispered softly as his eyes searched my face. "What is it?"
A blanket of hair covered my face, as I stared at the ground, trying to find the strength to speak. His hand softly brushed my hair off my face, and tucked it behind my ear. "I'm scared" I mumbled so softly, that had he not have vampire hearing, I'm sure he wouldn't have heard it.
He placed his fingers under my chin, and softly pulled my head up to meet his anxious gaze. "You have nothing to fear for" he assured me, his voice strong and comforting. "I promise you, that no matter what happens I will do everything to keep you safe."
"It's not me I'm worried about" I murmured, fear and pain seeping through my voice.
He stared back at me in confusion, as his fingers quickly caught and wiped the tears I didn't realise had fallen.
"Bella, the only thing I want you - no need you – to worry about is keeping yourself safe. Your safety and wellbeing is all I care about, and is why we are all doing this. That is the only priority that I want you to be concerned about" he spoke, full of command.
What was meant to calm and reassure me, in turn made me more anxious, and brought back the pain reality that this was all my fault. "That's exactly what I am worried about though" I protested, my voice rising with anxiety. "All everyone seems to care about is my safety, my wellbeing. What about yours? What about your family? The pack? No-one is concerned about their safety! I continuously risk the life of every person I love, and now I have to live through the fact that all of you are fighting and risking your lives to save me. Do you have any idea the guilt and agony that is ripping through my body right now, knowing that you are all risking your lives for me? If anything happens to anyone – vampire or wolf – I will be responsible. I maze well have killed them with my bare hands, because either way there is no difference." Terror coursed through my veins, my fears spilling out of my lips faster than I thought possible, as I became more hysterical by the minute
Edward face was pained, as his eyes burned into mine. "Bella, love, none of this is your – "
"No stop." I interrupted Edward, as he tried to reassure me. I knew what he was going to say – that this wasn't my fault, that nothing will happen, and if it didn't I wouldn't be to blame. But I also knew that this wasn't true, because I knew without a doubt, that it would most definitely be my fault. "Please, spare me your sympathy; I certainly do not deserve anything else from you or anyone. I know you don't believe this is my fault, and I'm sure everyone agrees with you." He nodded, agreeing with my assumption. "But that doesn't matter to me, because I don't agree with you. You don't understand. These vampires – newborns – monsters – whatever they are, are coming here for only one reason. Me." A shudder rippled through his body, and his eyes grew dark, burning with anguish and despair. I grasped his hand more tightly, and continued softly. "If anything happens to anyone, the only person to blame – apart from those monsters – is me. I can't... I don't... Can't... " I stuttered, trying to make a coherent sentence, as the grief began to engulf me.
Edward pulled me against his chest, rubbing my back soothingly as a river of tears began to escape my eyes. I pushed my face against his shirt, and inhaled his scent deeply, trying to rein in my emotions. "Bella" Edward's velvet voice whispered in my ear. "Please, please, please listen to me. None of this is your fault. I have no idea why these cruel, sadistic monsters want you, but it isn't your fault. Every individual stepping into this fight is doing it of their own will, to protect you. You have not asked anyone to do this Bella; we are all doing this out of our own want. Firstly, you are a part of our family love, and being a part of our family means us protecting you. If any other member of our family was in the position, it would go the same for them. This is what families do, we protect, support, and stand by each other, no matter what. Secondly, the werewolves – they aren't just doing this for you Bella. Don't get me wrong, it plays a major role in their decision. However, whether you were involved or not, they would have participated in this fight, simply because it's their job. This is what they were made for, to protect their people. Finally, none of this matters. Because now that we have the wolves on our side, it has put the fight in our favour. Our main worry before was that we were outnumbered, however, now with the packs involvement we are more than counted for. You have nothing to fear Bella, everyone will be safe."
"You don't know that" I whispered into his chest. I understood what he was saying, and I wanted so much to believe everything he said – that it wasn't my fault – that they would be safe, but I knew it my heart that it wasn't true. No matter how much they tell me otherwise, if anything happened to someone, I knew I would blame myself.
Edward pulled away from me and used his hand to lightly pull my face up to meet his. He brushed his cold lips softly against mine, and I sighed as his sweet scent lightly blew across my face. "Everyone will be fine Bella" he promised, as his lips caressed my cheek.
I fought to remain focused as his lips softly grazed across my cheek and along my jaw. "But the wolves, their so young and inexperienced..." I protested softly, as his lips made their way back up to my ear, leaving a fiery trail of pleasure behind them.
Edward chuckled softly, as his lips pressed a soft spot behind my ear. "The wolves know how to handle themselves. I've seen them in action, last time I came across them, trust me you don't need to worry about them. They were built to destroy vampires, and I'm sure most of the pack is eager to finally put their skills to the test."
I sighed heavily and pulled away slightly. Of course the pack would be eager; they were acting like it was some kind of game. If it wasn't for the fact that they were sworn enemies, I was sure they would get along perfectly with Emmett. I wanted so much to invest all my hope and faith into everything that Edward had said tonight, but my mind kept turning, replaying every agonizing thought that made me anxious in the first place. I gripped Edward's hand tightly, fighting to remain in control. If felt like my sanity and emotions were hanging by the thread.
"There's something more" Edward whispered, as his fingers lightly caressed my face. "What is it?" His eyes scrutinized my face, searching for the answers.
He reassured every fear that I had revealed tonight, however I had yet to admit the main one. The fear that played on my mind the most. The fear that I could barely think, let alone say out loud. The fear of losing him. When I had admitted my fear of someone being hurt, I was merely referring to everyone else, not allowing the thought of something happening to him to enter my mind.
Edward lightly wiped away the salty tears escaping my eyes, which were quickly replaced with new ones. "Please?" Edward whispered, begging for me to open my silent mind to him. His eyes mirrored my pain, and I realised he experienced every pain I was feeling through me.
"I... I... I can't" I stuttered, barely being able to think coherently. The tormenting hole began ripping through my chest again, as my breathing came more laboured. I blinked my eyes furiously, trying to see through the pools of water that now consumed them. My heart was beating furiously, pumping fear and adrenaline through my system. I squeezed his hand tightly, as I fought to hold on to the loose thread that my entire being was hanging on.
"Bella?" his agonized voice was my undoing, as it tugged frantically on that thread, causing the little rein I had on myself to unravel completely. I lost complete control of my body, as it poured out all the emotions I fought so hard to keep bottled up.
"I... I... I... I can't l-l-lose you" I shrieked frantically, clutching him tightly, as loud sobs ripped through my chest. He pulled me tightly against his chest tightly, anxiously trying to calm me. My body continued convulsing, my breathing irregular, as sobs continued to escape my chest. My legs gave out under me, as I leaned into Edward for support, his arms being the only thing keeping me from falling. Edward rubbed my back, and whispered loving words of comfort in my ear, as he tried to calm me. Uncontrollable sobs continued to rip through me, as I finally gave in to all my bottled up emotions. After what seemed like hours, but was probably only minutes, my body finally began to calm down. The little strength I had left, I used to clutch on to Edward, holding him tightly for dear life. After my breathing finally began to slow, and I regained the use of my legs, Edward released me, just far enough to press his lips to my jaw. His cold lips kissed up my jaw line and across my cheeks, wiping away the tears that lingered there. His lips slowly made down the other side of my jaw, before finally reaching my mouth.
"I love you" he whispered softly against my lips, exhaling his cool scent into my mouth. My hands tangled themselves in his soft bronze hair, as I crashed his lips into mine with a fiery passion. My warm supple lips moulded themselves around his cold ones in perfect synchronization. He responded eagerly, pulling my body even closer, whilst tangling a hand in my hair. He pulled away resentfully, giving me a moment to breathe, however his lips never left my skin as the trailed down my neck, caressing every inch of my bare skin. My hands tugged at his hands, pulling his face back up, so I could eagerly return my lips to his. After I lost my breath again, he pulled away, and softly leant his forehead against mine, trying to regulate both our breathing.
"I'm sorry" I whispered, wishing that he didn't have to see that breakdown.
"Don't be" he replied softly, as he pulled away, his golden eyes burning into mine. "Never be afraid to express your emotion with me. Is that..." he trailed off, thinking. He tilted his head and continued to gaze at me. "Is that what this was all about?"
I sighed and nodded. "Yes and no. Everything I have admitted tonight is true, and I'm so scared about all of it. And the guilt - that part kills me. But mostly, the main thought that petrifies me is... you... I can't...say it..." I trailed off, my voice trembling. He knew exactly what I meant; there was no need to have to say it aloud. I didn't want to encourage a new round of hysteria to wash over me.
Agony washed across his face again, as he winced at my words. "Bella... Isabella. You mean everything to me" his voice strong, full of passion. "Every moment of my day is absorbed by the thought of you. Every action, every decision I make, is revolved around you. Every fibre of my body is dedicated to loving you, and making sure you will always be safe, no matter what the cost. I have waited over 90 years for you to bring to me life. My life is merely a moonless night without you; you are my only reason for existence. These past two years have been the most extraordinary years of my life, and I promise you that they won't be our last. I have waited far too long for you Bella, and I will not let anyone tear us apart" his voice was fervent, as he nearly growled that last sentence. "I promise that we will be together for eternity, and I will spend every single day of forever cherishing you and giving you the life you deserve."
I stared into his passionate eyes, wanting to believe every word that fell from his beautiful mouth. But he couldn't promise me this. Alice couldn't see the outcome of this fight, and for that reason he had no way to guarantee his safety to me.
He seemed to understand my thoughts as his shook his head sighing. "Bella you don't understand. There are many things that are unknown about this battle, but this is not one of them. I will not let anyone take me away from you. I have fought to keep you safe for everyday since I met you, and absolutely nothing will stop us from being together." His voice was low, and full of certainty and command.
"I know, I'm sorry I just... I can't... We can't... I'm so scared Edward" I whispered, my voice trembling.
"I know, I understand, but I promise you with everything that I have Isabella that I no one is going to destroy our eternity. Do you understand?"
Despite the doubt that was flooding through me, and the knowledge that he couldn't promise me this, I knew that the only way I could get through this ordeal is if I put my hope and faith into his words. I nodded, hoping and praying that he was right, that we would get our forever. I knew that we were one. Without the other half, there would be nothing. In order for either of us live forever, we both had to survive. And as long as he was willing to fight for that, so was I.
His eyes searched mine as I made this decision, and I saw relief wash through his features as he pulled me against his chest again. I held him close, and squeezed him tightly, wishing I was strong enough lock him in my arms forever. It seems fate was always against us, using every force of nature to pull us apart. Every moment of our relationship is a constant battle, but I never doubt that it's not worth it. If I have to fight every single day of forever to be by Edward's side, I would do it without a doubt. I pulled my head away from his chest, and glanced around to realise we were the only ones out here. I hadn't even considered that others might have witnessed my emotional outburst, and was relieved that it wasn't the case. I had completely forgotten about the party, and was quickly brought back to reality. The party had seemed to die down, the noise from inside was a lot lower now. The soft sound of music floated outside, and I sighed in content. I closed my eyes, and squeezed Edward tighter. A new song started, which I immediately recognized – 'In the Arms of an Angel'. I began pulling Edward towards the middle of the patio, as a fresh cool night breeze glided across our bodies, sending a shiver down my spine.
"Do you want to go back inside?" Edward asked.
I shook my head, and continued to pull him towards the centre of the patio, closer to the back doors. I stopped when I could hear the music more clearly, but was still out of sight from the people inside. I turned to face Edward, who was staring at me in curiosity.
I released his hand and put both of mine behind his neck. "Dance with me" I whispered softly, lost in the gaze of his golden eyes.
He raised his eyebrows in astonishment, a small smile playing on his lips, obviously surprised at my suggestion. "Where? Here?"
"Here" I replied softly.
Without another word, he lightly grabbed me by the waist, and lifted my feet onto his, just like at prom. His hands wrapped around my waist as he pulled my body closer to his, and began gliding across the patio. We twirled around effortlessly under the dark night sky, as the sweet soft melody glided through the air. My fingers lightly caressed the cool back of Edward's neck, as I gazed through his shinning golden eyes, catching a glimpse into his beautiful soul. The music continued to swirl around us, as I lost all sense of reality, and stepped into my dream world, that revolved around us; just me and Edward.
In the arms of an Angel fly away from here
From this dark, cold hotel room, and the endlessness that you fear
You are pulled from the wreckage of your silent reverie
You're in the arms of an Angel; may you find some comfort here
One of my hands slid from behind his neck, to lightly caress his cheek. His lips broke into a crooked smile, and his gazed into mine, alight with love and passion. My angel, I thought as my lips broke into a smile, mirroring his happiness. One of his slowly trailed up from my waist, across my ribs, past my breasts, gliding slowly up my neck, before tangling itself in my hair. My entire body was burning from his his touch, as he pulled my head closer to his. His cool breath blew across my face as his lips stopped just before they touched mine.
"My angel" he whispered softly against my lips, before pressing them against mine. This kiss was slow, soft and gentle. It wasn't about want - lust - or desire. It was built merely on our deep foundation of love and devotion for each other. His cold lips softly caressed mine, and in that moment I surrendered all my hope and faith in him, and prayed that for our eternity. His lips pulled away from mine, and I kissed my way along his jaw line to his ear, before whispering "forever", into his ear.
His hands wrapped themeselves back around my waist, as he started dancing across the patio floor again. The music continued to swirl around us, as I pulled his body closer to mine, and laid my head contently on his chest.
In the arms of an Angel fly away from here
From this dark, cold hotel room, and the endlessness that you fear
You are pulled from the wreckage of your silent reverie
You're in the arms of an Angel; may you find some comfort here
I squeezed Edward tighter, and smiled in happily, whilst being comforted by the arms of my angel.
A/N: So I'm new at this, so please be nice hehe. PLEASE REVIEW! Good or bad :D I always make a point to visit the profile pages of those who comment me too ;)
And I know that this would have never had happened in Eclipse, but that's what this place is for right? To write about 'what if?' haha. I was considering re-writing some other eclipse scenes, but I don't know (?), I'm not sure if I can do this whole writitng thing, and I don't want to ruin Stephenie Meyer's wonderful work haha. Thankyou for reading :)
P.S I know the whole song and dance thing was sappy but oh well ;P haha