England was sitting on the couch next to the television in his London flat. He had grown bored with the programs showing. It apparently was possible to get sick of Harry Potter when you've seen the marathons more than you've seen daylight. His head was cocked to the side, staring intently at the bookshelf adjacent to the couch in hopes of reaching any book through the form of telepathy. The thought of magic interested him but telepathy was just a myth. That was how bored and-he couldn't believe it-lazy he was today.

He was acting like America! The stupid American who busied himself with believing in ghosts and aliens, sitting on the sofa for hours at a time, lying in bed long enough to miss a World Meeting, and eating all of the bloody junk food he had practically stored in his house for hibernation; America was simply a mess of trouble and he did not want to end up like the git. England's eyes shifted away from the bookshelf to prevent future telepathy attempts and was surprised to hear a phone ringing. Maybe telepathy did work after all…someone had to have known how bored he was.

Realizing that his cell phone had been placed on the kitchen counter, Arthur got off of the couch and walked the millions of meters to the kitchen with reluctant legs. "Why had I not put this in a pocket of mine somewhere? I'm wearing plenty!" he grumbled into the phone as he flipped it open. He refused to buy a newer model since it was American made and Americans always slacked off. It was a joke that unemployment was such a big deal in the country and yet most of the employed workers didn't give a damn about their jobs. At least his people worked hard for their meals and provided for their family. England's biased thinking was cut off as he heard crying and screaming over the phone.

The caller ID had said it was Canada which was a real shock but unless polar bears acted like little children, he had no clue what was happening over in the North American nation.

"Um…hello?" the Arthur asked.

"Be quiet, I am talking to England! Oh- Arthur? You picked up? Thank you so much! I need your help!"

"Er, help? Okay then, what do you need?" England checked his watch, hoping the call wouldn't take too terribly long.

"A-America! Come save me from him! I need-" BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP…

The hell…? England raced to his room, legs picking up speed as he gathered his necessary belongings and found the way to his car. This could not be good. America had either:

Become cannibal

Gone on a rampage looking for food

Found the pictures from last year's Halloween party or…

Become a tad too fond of the Canadian in a bad way

Please don't let it be D, please don't let it be D! If anything, be C!

Arthur stepped on the damp pathway leading up to Canada's house. He must have shoveled the snow off of the sidewalk just recently which meant that maybe England wasn't too late to prevent option D. His fingers were trembling millimeters away from the doorknob. What if D was correct…? The Englishman mustered his strength and shoved the thick door open. Walking inside wasn't a problem, he could just simply run out if he must, he thought but he was startled into the real world as he realized his footsteps had been muffled. Looking down, he could see under his feet some ripped fabric, the kind that would be worn as a shirt if the whole piece of clothing had been there trapped beneath his foot.

That could only mean two things. Wait…no, it could mean all four but still. His feet quickened and slid into the next room where he saw Canada, wearing ripped clothing, caged underneath America. He would have made a continent joke if he had been in a better situation. "America! Stop raping Canada this instant!" With that, America glanced over his shoulder with a confused expression. Not only had he not heard him come in but he also didn't understand what the heck the old man was talking about! Oh….maybe that's who Canada was talking to over his cell earlier. Matthew had been way too quiet to hear over his own cries of protest.

"Look, dude. I'm not raping him. He's forever alone no matter how you look at him! Why did he call you here anyways? Backup?"

"Then explain the situation to me because it most definitely looked as if you were doing naughty things to the poor lad! I came all the way over here in the middle of important business just so I could help sort out this mess so it had better be a good one!" England was furious that America dared to deny the truth of the matter. It was quite obvious what he had been doing! There was also no need to elaborate on what important business he had left behind for this call of need.

"You tell him, Matt." America forcefully suggested to the quivering nation now standing again but a little too close to the obnoxious American. Polar bears didn't have nine lives and he certainly didn't want to use up his only one! If he had been American, he would have taken this chance to say YOLO.

"Um…well I took America to the dentist today since he can't take care of himself and…um…they said he has a cavity and he refuses to set an appointment to get a filling." Matthew finished and took a wincing position, ready for anything. England hadn't seen what America had been acting like only moments before and he was now thinking about a restraining order. If possible, maybe he could move his country to Europe, closer to France…

"A cavity? That's it? America, stop being a git and just get it over with! Don't make me force you!" Arthur couldn't believe his ex-colony was so unwilling to get a simple filling! The country that fought in a revolution and won, with almost nothing to serve as an army at the time while he had had one of the most powerful armies in the world in the 1700's. Looking back, he felt ashamed that he had lost to such an inexperienced colony. Or to be more specific, what was now a gigantic country spread from 'sea to shining sea' and had survived unharmed for over two hundred years.

America pouted. There was no way he would let England serve as backup and make him get this stupid filling. He was fine! There was no pain at all. It was probably just a mistake! Just imagine them drilling a hole in his tooth and saying "Oh wait, looks like there is no cavity! Let's fill it anyways!" No, there was no fricking way that was gonna happen. "Dude, I'm not making an appointment and you can't make me!"

The glint in England's eyes was frightening. His face pulled into a smug little smirk as he looked at America with an almost evil looking face. America's eyes widened, realizing what England was about to do. Arthur reached his hand inside of his pants pocket and pulled out his cell phone with a "U mad, bro?" sort of expression. America bolted for England's cell, wrestling his grip on the stupid phone but England managed to spin him around, holding America in a head lock.

"Wha! G-get off of me! Let go!" America was pinned to England with no escape and saw that the stupid old man still had on that smirk. "Mmmm…..maybe in a little while but I think I'd better make a certain appointment first."

"YOU. WOULDN'T. DARE."

England's fingers tapped the buttons on his phone and to America's horror, they could now here it ringing, waiting for the other end to pick up. America squirmed faster, trying to get out of England's hold before it was too late. "Hello, this is Mr. Sherman's dental office. How may I help you today?"

Alfred froze mid squirm and slowly slid his intent gaze from the floor to Arthur's face. "Yes. I would like to set up an appointment for Alfred Jones to get a filling for his cavity. When is the best time for this? …Is there a time closer? Oh yes. That's perfect, Friday it is then." England flipped his phone shut but didn't release America from the head lock. "Will you go to this appointment, Alfred?" England challenged. America knew the only way out of this was to say yes so he obliged but right after England set him free, he ran for the door of Canada's house. Oh yeah, Canada was still here. That dude just doesn't talk, now does he?

"There's no way I'm going to that stupid appointment and you can't make me either! AHAHAHAHA-oof." Alfred slammed his head into the door of Canada's house. He had been too busy thinking about the almost non-existent Canada to realize that England had already caught up with him and had shut the door just moments before America had suddenly crashed.

"I guess we'll do this the harder way."

America sat on the couch of his own home squished between England and Canada. His hands were tied in front of him, making it just a tiny bit more complicated to escape. England sure had bad taste in TV shows but definitely knew what he was doing when it came to rope tying and knots. He had been trying for over half an hour to get the rope off of his wrists but with no luck. Maybe being a pirate really had done him some good.

"You guys do know that the appointment is days away right? So what's the point of keeping me from escaping now?" America just wanted to get out of this situation.

"Well for starters, we know you have a whole lot of rubbish stashed here for your eating pleasure and we need to keep you away from the disgusting food. Which also means no Five Guys, no Wendy's, no Taco Bell, and absolutely no McDonald's. They may not have candy, but their sugary drinks are enough to kill your teeth and I hear that McDonald's puts sugar in their salads. Besides, by the time of your appointment you could have gone off to Japan or something so we couldn't find you."

He knew him so well.

Again, America pouted. "So…no ice cream?" the thought was shocking and almost caused America to shudder. He looked from England to Canada, pleading with his eyes and ready for another attempt at escaping if this was how it was.

"No. No junk food what-so-ever. I believe you've had enough." England replied. He could see America's body tense and determined eyes. Not a very good sign. "America, you better not be th-" "SO LONG, SUCKERS!" America jumped from his couch and ran for what seemed like the fifth time that day towards the door but it swung open, banging him in the head. His hands, still tied, reached up to his face, rubbing away the pain but stopped as he realized who had entered his house.

"France."

Notes: I apparently have a cavity and never have had one before so I thought writing about the hero getting one would be pretty fun. I might attempt to put in some M stuff later on if I feel like it. I've never written anything like that and I don't know if I could or not. But I'm planning on this to be hilarious and have pairings in it. This is also my first fanfiction that will hopefully have multiple chapters! I'm leaving for a few weeks though so I might not be able to finish the whole story until the 18th.