Base on actual events that took place on December, 27 2013.
Broken, But Rescued
The room felt so cold, so empty and dark making me shiver in fear, I felt like something awful was about to occur.
And I knew I was right. this life I was so use to was now about to vanish into something different, something I had no power over. and that scared me more than anything at that moment. I was about to lose control of all the things I've had control over… until now that is.
The door opened and a man in his late thirties entered, his looks were dark and from the looks of it he was probably Syrian…? He looked serious but yet compassionate underneath, kind of what you would like to suspect of someone in this occupational field to be personified as but less daunting.
He leaned in to sit down on a swivel chair but without the back, you know the round ones that a doctor would normally come in to see how your doing with your latest check up.
Before he even sat in the small cushion of the chair he regarded me in that same presence that both made me feel at ease and yet irritated all at once.
"Hello, Miss. Hart. Im doctor. Asu Haddad"
Ah so I was right he is Syrian. When Im right I'm right! I thought sarcastically to light the moment and situation I knew I was currently in.
"Why am I here?" I asked groggily even though I had an idea why. (If you watch fifty shades of grey think of Anastasia Steele when she asks christian Grey why she's in his hotel room)
"Miss. Hart" He spoke directly to me as he scooted closer. "Mr. and Mrs. Hart rushed you to the emergency room a couple days ago. You were unconscious and unmoving with your heart beating extremely irregular since then we've hooked you up to an IV for your potassium, the level you were at was very life threatening meaning you heart could of stopped at any moment that it was so low.
your body has been neglected for so long Miss. Hart that we had to force a feeding tube and iron pills and many blood tests since then. your parents and the rest of your family are just outside in the waiting room." As he finished I felt like I was knew! They had to. Oh my god this cannot be happening, they can't.
As I was oblivious to Dr. Haddad leaving the room to get mom and dad and then returning not a second more later my head popped up to see those figures. Moms eyes were bright red, her body trembling her red hair a mess it was pretty obvious she hadn't showered or even ate (I know Ironic isn't it) as she clutch dad close to her for support.
And dad his eyes had begs under them he looked as he aged ten years or more he also looked pale and very thin. I could see dad taking moms comfort as well like they needed one another in order to live. I cant help but feel guilty knowing its been me who had put them in this terrible state.
"Ill leave the three of you and get the paper work" he said in a monotone sort of voice that gave me chills of dread as he nodded and left.
As the door gently closed mom and dad looked at me as they never have before, it wasn't anger like usual it was something far worst.
I just wanted to crawl in a dark dangerous hole and hide, looking at there deep blue eyes was far too painful. I was killing them and I new it.
Dad was the first to speak as mom leaned into him for more support, I was thinking she would probably fall without his strength or what was left of it anyways.
"Hey, sweetie how are you feeling?" Dad smiled sadly.
How was I feeling? The only though that came to mind was pain, deep noting gut wrenching pain the kind of pain that made you nauseous to your stomach, the kind you would rather run away from like I've been doing for so long. I wanted to cry and tell them how sorry I was. Sorry I was no longer that perfect daughter they needed and wanted so badly.
I no longer wanted to hurt them for hurting our family and each other because I no longer had that strength much less that hatred I was feeling. I just felt so vulnerable like I finely lost this fight that I was struggling every day with.
looking at them I had a feeling they knew everything and I don't know what came over me in that moment but I just let go like I've never before have in my life.
The tears and angst fell from me as I told them about how I felt when they separated and later on divorced, how I hated BJ and Dr. Morgan.
I told them how it all started and that when I was in deep enough into my destruction there was no way out of the darkness I swam into.
The lies I told everyone including myself, the secrets behind my actions the addiction that kept on feeding for more and more and that nothing was enough that no matter how hard I trued it still wasn't good enough.
When I finished I knew what I had to do in order to fix what I had caused I knew I needed help far more help than what mom or dad could give me. I was sick and I was lost. I was dying and I had an eating disorder.
"I'm sorry" Mommy…Daddy I thought before they both embraced me and I cried so hard the hardest I've yet to cry in my life.