Ed Edd n Eddy in WWIII
It all started when I was watching television with Ed and Eddy. We were so bored so we started flipping through channels. Then, this one channel caught my attention. I told Ed to stop flipping the channels and he paused on said channel. The channel was CNN. We had found out that there has been gang fights between the teenagers in Peach Creek and the teenagers from our neighbor county, Lemon Brook. I had kept hearing about it and today, we had found out that there is a "turf war" going on. All of a sudden, I heard loud noises from outside. Ed and I went outside to see what was going on, while Eddy was sleeping on Ed's chair. Once Ed and I got outside, we heard gunshots and people screaming. This gang war has been going very out of hand lately. I knew that I had to stop it. "Hey guys!" yelled Eddy. "Check out this commercial." Ed and I rushed back into Ed's basement and we saw an advertisement for the U.S. military. The following came from the commercial: "Do you want to make a difference? Have you ever wanted to join the army? This is your chance! If you are 17 and older and you are a resident of Peach Creek, you are eligible to join! Join Today!" "Eddy, I don't think we should join the army, someone can get hurt or killed" I said to Eddy. "Whatever sockhead, you can go and stay at home while me and monobrow save the world and some dames!" Then, the phone rang and I picked it up. "Hello?" I said. "Hey Double D this is Kevin, can I talk to Eddy?" asked the voice on the phone. "Sure" I said. I gave the phone to Eddy. "Hey shovelchin! How's it goin'?" said Eddy. "Eddy I found out that we can join the army, you want to join." said Kevin. "I heard, lumpy and I are just on our way to enrollment." said Eddy. "What about Double D?" asked Kevin. "He still not deciding since he doesn't want to use violence to save our city." said Eddy. "Well me, Jonny, and Rolf are on our way to enrollment, we'll meet you there." said Kevin. "Okay, see you at enrollment, bye." Eddy hung up the phone and asked me "Come on Double D, don't you want to impress Nazz?" That idea made me want to join immediately. "I'll do it Eddy." I said. We got ready to head out and we met Kevin, Rolf, and Jonny and the corner of Rathink Avenue. "Wait for me fellas!" said a familiar voice. It was Jimmy. Although he was only fourteen, he wanted to join us. He did hit a growth spurt over the past five years to the point where he my height . Luckily, we didn't have to bring our birth certificates, so Jimmy was in luck. "Fluffy? You want to join us?" asked Kevin. "I want to impress Sarah and save the world from those crazy thugs." said Jimmy. "Wow Jimmy. I'm impressed." I said. I never thought such a sensitive person such as Jimmy would want to join the army, but I was wrong. "Let's go you guys!" said Ed excitedly, wanting to join the army just because he can use a gun. Over the past five years, Ed has become a real gun nut due to his father taking him hunting. We walked to the community center where enrollment was. Kevin was the first in line, then Rolf, then Ed, Then Eddy, Then Jonny, Then me, and lastly, Jimmy. For signup, we had to wait in line, sign our name, and if you had long hair like me, you had to get in another line to get it cut. All 7 of us had to get our hair cut because nobody bothered to get a haircut over the past 5 years. Once I was in line, the barber took off my hat and took out a pair of shears. I was scared out of my mind. After 15 grueling minutes, my hair was cut short into a buzz cut in the front and a little wild in the back. I was then directed to a room where I was welcomed by a drill sergeant. "Hello. My name is Sgt. Phillips, I will guide you through basic training and boot camp." said Sgt. Phillips. I had to go through the most complicated and longest 14 days of my life. Here is a quick summary of what happened over the past 2 weeks.
Day 1:
I had to learn how to use a gun and reload it. The first day wasn't so complicated as the next 13.
Day 2:
I learned the basic army fighting style and had to practice with a partner. My partner was Jimmy, who put up a very good fight. I am getting stronger by the minute I swear.
Day 3:
I had target practice using my guns and meleeing with my new knife. Meanwhile, Ed almost broke his arm using a SPAS-12.
Day 4:
I had to do basic drills such as sit ups and push-ups and all the other exercises.
Day 5:
I had to climb under barbed wire and dodge live gunshots and I was nearly shot in the head
Day 6:
I learned how to use a bayonet on my gun and had to practice on dummies.
Day 7:
I learned how to wear a gas mask and I was sent to the gas chamber for 30 minutes.
Day 8:
I had to go through an obstacle course called the victory towers, where I had to navigate through obstacles at an extreme height. One of the most traumatic experiences of my life
Day 9:
I learned how to rappel down from heights
Day 10:
I had to disassemble, clean and rebuild a rifle.
Day 11:
I had to learn how to throw grenades and use the M203 Grenade launcher.
Day 12:
I had to run a timed obstacle course called the confidence course
Day 13:
I had to do the Annual Army PT Examination and my team and I got 150 or higher.
Day 14:
My last day. I had to do the FTX and I was done with basic training.
Continuing the Story:
After training, I was given 2 days to rest before deploying. After my 2 days were over, I was deployed to the invasion of Lemon Brook with Ed, Eddy, Kevin, Rolf, Jonny, Plank, and Jimmy. It turns out Plank is a sentient being with psychic powers that allows him to move and use his gun freely. I was traveling in a HUMVEE while Ed was on the machine gun at the top of the HUMVEE until we were shot down but we came out unscathed. Rolf pulled out his Intervention FMJ and shot down 3 soldiers without using his scope. A kid tried to tackle Jimmy and he pulled out his M9 and shot the poor guy in the neck. Jonny threw one of his tomahawks at a guy with a riot shield and it ricocheted off the shield and hit another guy in the face. Ed pulled out his SPAS-12 and got 5 headshots in a row and stabbed a guy in the neck with his switchblade. I pulled out my MP5k and shot 1 guy in the chest and another in his face. 1 soldier tried to fight Eddy hand to hand and Eddy punched him in the stomach and dropped kicked him in the chest, killing him instantly. Kevin threw a semtex at 1 guy and ended up killing 5 guys and subsequently cracked a soldier's head with his AK-47. Plank leaped in the air and shot 3 guys with his Mini-Uzi. Kevin pulled out C4 and planted it on the door near the wrecked HUMVEE and detonated it. Eddy sliced a guy's throat with his Kukri, and slotted 4 guys with his KAP-40. Jimmy threw a throwing knife at the survivor of the breach. "Room's clear team, let's move out" I said. Ed kicked open the door and ran up the stairs with his M16 in hand, shooting the guards. I pulled out my balisong and sliced a guy in his face. Rolf fired his RPG-7 at the rest of the building, destroying the roof and breaking the door. Jimmy pulled out his M9 and killed 7 survivors. Jonny burned a nearby armored vehicle with 5 soldiers in it. We sprinted 500 meters east to find a school filled with soldiers. We split up with 4 people downstairs and 4 people upstairs. I was upstairs with Rolf, Jonny, and Jimmy. Rolf pulled out his AUG HBAR and killed everyone and everything in sight. It was just overkill. Rolf is kinda crazy at times. I suddenly felt an adrenaline rush and, kicked a broken window open and jumped out of the window and killed all the soldiers in the field with my M4A1. Then, I regrouped with the rest of the squad. Rolf, Jonny, and Jimmy soon followed. The entire school was cleared. Then, choppers full of soldiers and Rolf shot the engines and the attack helicopters came crashing down. One chopper crashed near our squad. We all ran but Ed was too tired and the chopper broke his leg. "Ed! Are you alright?!" I asked. "I'm alright just a scratch." Ed said. Rolf picked up Ed and told me "Double-D Ed-Boy! Take my Weapons while Rolf carries the Ed-Boy with the backbone of a Yak." I took Rolf's RPG-7, AUG HBAR, and Intervention FMJ and we were surrounded by incoming Troops. "Let me handle this guys" I said. I pulled out Rolf's AUG HBAR and Shot 30 soldiers with 1 mag. Eddy pulled out his M14 and Shot 10 soldiers before reloading. Kevin used his Glock 17 and shot 5 guys in the head. Jonny burned the rest of the soldiers surrounding us with his M2 flamethrower. We ran through a small river and encountered 20 riot shield soldiers. Jimmy and Jonny threw their throwing knives and tomahawks at all of the soldiers, but they quickly retaliated. Since Kevin is our explosives expert, he used the GP-25 grenade launcher on his AK-47 and succeeded in killing only 4 soldiers. Kevin threw 4 blocks of C4 and detonated them all at the same time, killing the 16 remaining soldiers. We decided to rest in a shelter for a few minutes before continuing. We refilled all of our ammo and explosives and still had an ample amount left even though we went on a complete killing spree and Jimmy cracked Ed's broken leg back into place and he was up and running. We opened the door and there were troops everywhere. Jonny pulled out his M1 Garand and shot 6 soldiers. Ed pulled out his SPAS-12 and Shot 7 soldiers before reloading. Eddy pulled out his Kukri and sliced 3 guys. Kevin pulled out his grenade launcher and blew up 25 soldiers with 7 rounds. I pulled out a crossbow with explosive bolts and shot the wall to escape with my team. Rolf sniped 5 guys in a row quick scoping. Jimmy used his Skorpion EVO to shoot 14 guys in 3 mags. A soldier tried to shoot Kevin and Kevin grabbed his gun and shot him in the head. Plank used his G36c to kill a guy attacking Jonny. The safe house was clear. One survivor threw a grenade and plank tried to throw it back but failed. "Plank NO!" yelled Jonny. There was a small explosion that injured us but Plank got scorched and was nearly dead. Jimmy threw a throwing knife at the survivor and killed him. I couldn't believe it. I was killing all of the soldiers 2 minutes ago, now I'm dying under a pile of shrapnel and rubble. I guessed this was the end, Plank's dying and we're almost dead due to the explosion. I thought all hope was lost. Then, a mysterious figure pulled me out of the rubble and to safety. This guy looked like Eddy but only taller and he had stubble. It was Eddy's Brother! I never knew such a sadistic bully like him was saving us right now. I saw him shoot a soldier in the head, whip another with a shotgun, then throw his shotgun at a soldier and shot the trigger with his M1911, then jump in the air and snap a soldier's neck with his legs, and then, he pulled out his M240 and shot the remaining soldiers except for 1. The remaining soldier tried to run away, but Eddy's Brother threw a tomahawk at him. He pulled the remaining team out of the rubble. The rest of team regained conscience and we rested for an hour. "Leo! I never knew you were in the army." said Eddy. "I joined five years ago when I learned I could take my anger out on bad guys and I could save the world and clear my name. "Where are we?" I asked Eddy's Brother. "We're taking refuge in the Lemon Brook Gag Factory." said Leo. "This place brings back memories." said Eddy. "Do they know we're here?" asked Kevin. "Not at the moment" said Leo. "Can you fix Plank? asked Jonny. "He's just a piece of wood." said Leo. "Actually, he is a sentient being controlled by Jonny's vivid imagination." I said to Leo. "What is all of that supposed to mean? Asked Leo. "It means that plank is alive and in controlled by Jonny's imagination." I said. "I'll see what I can do nature boy." Leo said. Leo then took Plank and examined his burn mark. Leo saw some wood on the floor and picked it up. "Does anyone have some tape or glue" he asked. "Why would we have tape or glue in the middle of a warzone?" Eddy asked. "Rolf hears something quiet" Rolf said. We heard a door open. A platoon with 20 soldiers appeared. Rolf put a suppressor on his Intervention and took point. "Here's the plan." said Leo. "Sockhead and Ed will take the left and Jonny and Jimmy will take the right" said Leo. "Also, you guys, no guns and knife only except for Rolf." said Leo. The 4 went down the stairs and then split up. Rolf pulled the trigger on his gun. He hit 7 soldiers before reloading. Rolf took a little too long reloading. The soldiers eventually found out that Ed and I were behind them along with Jimmy and Jonny. Ed and I were knocked out by the soldiers we were attempting to kill. I then woke up in a cage filled with water and I found Ed next to me. "Ed, where are we?" I asked. "I have no idea" said Ed. I was then taken out of the cage and tied to a chair. "What do you want with us" I asked my captors. "We just want to ask a few questions" the leader said. He pulled out a Desert Eagle and loaded it. "Anytime you don't answer our questions, you will be shot." My heart started racing when he said 'shot'. "First question: where are you from?" he asked. "We're not telling you anything, bub!" Ed said to our captor and spit on him. Our captor shot Ed in the leg. Ed screamed in pain. Our captor kept shooting Ed until he stopped yelling. Ed was bruised to a bloody pulp. He was nearly dead and our captor ran out of ammo. He pulled out a switchblade and sliced Ed's stomach and chest. Ed still wasn't dead. He turned his attention towards me and asked me the same question he asked Ed. I had to tell him before ending up like Ed. "That's all I needed to know" he said. He then pulled out another mag of ammo and reloaded his gun. He then pointed his gun to me and shot me in the chest. I felt as if I was going to die. I heard an explosion and saw Kevin and Eddy. Eddy then knocked out the interrogator and untied me and Ed. He then called for an ambulance. I fell unconscious. I woke up in a hospital bed next to Ed, who was covered in bandages and was fast asleep. I saw my team sitting next to me and Ed, along with Plank who was covered in bandages recovering from the explosion yesterday. "Are you alright Double D" asked Jimmy. "I'm fine. I just got shot in the chest and I'm still alive." I said to Jimmy who was tearing up at the sight of Ed. His vital signs were fading. He wouldn't last without medical attention. Jonny ran out of the room and got a nurse for Ed. She gave Ed a shot in his chest and he was screaming. It was an adrenaline shot. I was praying for Ed to survive. I remembered when we were 13, he and Eddy would get bruised up a lot, especially when the large sumo Jimmy crushed them and nearly killed them. This time, Ed might die for real. I was starting to pass out seeing Ed's bandaged and bruised body, I feeling my eyes close, and I'm seeing nothing but black. I woke up to Kevin waking me up. He said I was in a coma for 2 weeks and Ed was just fine and that we were being invaded by Lemon Brook this time. I hopped out of bed, took a shower, put on my uniform and ballistic vest, grabbed my M4A1 and MP5k, put my Balisong in my vest pocket, slipped my Five Seven into its holster, and Kevin tossed me 4 grenades and a flash bang. The rest of my team was waiting outside. I saw Sarah hugging Ed and Nazz came running towards me. "Double D I so glad you're okay!" she yelled and hugged me. Sarah saw me and asked: Double D? Is that you?" she saw that I had a haircut. "I got a haircut and it was painful." I said to Sarah. "Double D Ed-boy, are you ready to rumble?" asked Rolf. "I'm always ready" I said to Rolf.
To Be Continued.