Reese Wilkerson woke up to the sound of rain beating down on the fabric of the small 2-man tent he was sharing with his brother. Both boys had been exhausted after a full day of driving, followed by clearing the campsite and getting the tent setup. Reese had collapsed fully clothed on top of his sleeping bag and was fast asleep within a minute. Malcolm, however, had taken the time to arrange their belongings in order to maximize the amount of space inside of the small living area. He had carefully put their supplies into neat little rows and had even swept the dirt floor.
Reese propped himself up on one elbow. He was slightly disoriented as he looked around the tent. It was late. The only light was coming from his brother's tiny reading light, which he had clipped to the book he was reading. Malcolm had the place looking so neat and orderly it creeped him out a little. Two dudes on a camping trip should not be this tidy and clean, it just wasn't normal. He looked over at Malcolm, who was lying on top of his sleeping bag. It was perfectly smooth and looked like it had just been dry cleaned and ironed. Malcolm was wearing slippers and his bathrobe, which covered his boxers and tee shirt, and his hair looked like it had just been brushed. Reese was mildly surprised his brother wasn't wearing a full set of PJs and a hat.
"God, Malcolm, you are such a girl! Where are the fresh cut flowers?" Reese chuckled at his own joke until Malcolm cleared his throat a couple of times and pointed to the soda bottle sitting on top of the first aid kit. It was about two thirds full of water and had a handful of small wildflowers sticking up from its neck.
"What time is it, man? How long have I been out?" Reese realized he had to pee very badly but he wasn't thrilled about going outside in the rain.
"It's a little after midnight; you were sound asleep for about 5 hours, man. You were really out; I even checked a couple of times to make sure you were still breathing. You must be starving, a made you a platter a little while ago when I ate my dinner." Malcolm turned on the big battery powered lantern that was sitting on top of a cardboard box between the two boys. The small tent was flooded with a harsh white light.
Reese shielded his eyes. "God, man, are you trying to blind me?"
Malcolm adjusted the output of the lantern. "Sorry, dude, wasn't thinking." There wasn't enough room in the small tent to stand up and Reese smiled as he watched his weird little brother cheerfully walk on his knees over to the food. Malcolm opened up the big chest and sure enough produced a tasty looking platter with a very large ham sandwich, Cheetos, two hard boiled eggs, a dill pickle and a couple of chocolate pudding cups.. Malcolm offered it to his brother. "What do you want to drink? We've got Coke Zero, apple juice, and bottled water."
"Um, it looks delicious, man, but I really have to pee, where's my rain gear?" Reese slowly looked through his things, dreading getting wet.
"No need to go outside, here, take this!" Malcolm grinned as he produced an empty 2-liter soda bottle. Its paper label had been removed and bold black letters proclaimed "For Urine Only!" Reese was amused that his nerdy brother had not only thought of making a pee bottle for them, he had actually labeled it.
Reese took the bottle and pulled down his cargo shorts and boxer briefs while kneeling in front of his brother. The Wilkerson boys had never been shy about nudity and Reese quickly filled the bottle about a third full. Instead of pulling up his pants, he took them off entirely and pulled his underwear back up. He quickly unlaced his hiking boots, kicked them across the tent, and peeled off his sticky white socks. That felt great. He wiggled his tired toes and sighed deeply. Reese was very comfy, wearing only his underwear and tee shirt. He grabbed for the food platter.
"Thanks, man! I am so starving!" Reese gratefully accepted the platter and a Coke Zero. He sat on top of his sleeping bag with his crossed legs serving as a makeshift table. He was halfway through the enormous sandwich when he noticed Malcolm was sitting next to him, watching him eat. Reese smiled through a huge mouthful of ham and bread. "This is so good!"
Malcolm nodded and watched as his brother finished every speck of food on the oversized paper plate. Reese chugged the last of his soda and predictably emitted a huge burp that blasted Malcolm with the smell of ham sandwich and Cheetos.
"Reese, there's something I want to talk about." Malcolm looked sincere, but he always looked sincere, it was sort of his thing.
"Um, ok." Reese turned his full attention to his brother, who was now sitting only a few inches away from him. "OMG! I'm going to die! I have cancer! That's why you're being so nice!"
Malcolm realized that Reese was kidding and he laughed. "No, dude, you're not dying. Please be serious for a minute, there's something I want us to talk about, something really important."
Reese hated talking about his feelings but his brother loved it. If he hadn't seen his penis so many times, he would suspect that Malcolm was actually a girl. He tried to get his brother to laugh again and lighten the mood. "Ok, but I don't French kiss on the first date!"
Malcolm didn't laugh, he knew Reese was trying to avoid an awkward situation.
"Reese, I love you and I'm sorry I haven't told you that before and I'm sorry I haven't been a better brother. You're the best friend I ever had and so many times over the years I treated you like dog crap and went out of my way to hurt your feelings and just be plain mean to you. That whole bully phase you went through made it easier for me to distance myself but I should have helped you work through it. You were obviously hurting pretty bad inside and I just dumped insults on you. I'm really, really, sorry and want you to know that no matter what happens between us, I will always love you and I will always be there for you. So, the next time I do or say something awful, which I hope will be never, just remember this talk. I'm really going to try and be a better brother and a better person. Will you forgive me, man?"
Malcolm looked Reese directly in the eyes while he spoke. When he was finished talking, he put his arm around his brother's shoulders and kissed him on the cheek. Malcolm went to his side of the tent and sat on his sleeping bag. Reese didn't look at him, his head was hanging down and after a minute or so, Malcolm realized his brother was crying.
Reese glanced up, his eyes brimming with tears. "What? I mean why, why are or you sitting over there? Did I do something wrong?"
Malcolm breathed out a huge sigh of relief and scrambled across the short distance and once again sat next to Reese. "No, man, you didn't do anything wrong, I was just trying to give you some space. I'm sorry I made you cry."
"I don't cry, you know that!" Reese had never been able to admit he had feelings and emotions just like everyone else. All his life he had held in all of his hurt and anger until it either came out in a violent outburst or a crying fit. Reese pulled it together and wiped his eyes with his hands. He sniffed a couple of times and Malcolm produced a paper towel and gave it to him so he could blow his nose.
The two boys just sat silently for a while. Finally, Reese slowly started to speak.
"I'm so sorry I got into that whole bully thing but man that was a couple of years ago and I really have changed since then but still nobody likes me very much. Like you said, I guess maybe I was hurting inside and when nobody wanted to be friends, I guess I just pretended to be mean and scary, it was pretty stupid. I'm the one who should be apologizing, not you, Malcolm. If you were mean to me it was because I deserved it. I'm just no damn good. I hate myself, I deserve to be hurt."
Malcolm could not believe his ears, Reese had actually admitted that he was a bully, that he had feelings, that he hurt inside, and that he was sorry for his behavior. He could not wait to write this up, the whole experiment was for his AP Psychology class and Reese had responded perfectly, just as Malcolm had predicted. Now, according to his analysis of his brother's personality type, Reese would cheer up, promise to try harder to be nice, and he would be laughing and acting silly within half an hour.
Reese certainly had his faults but one of the things Malcolm really loved about him was his insane optimism, no matter how bad a situation might be, Reese simply could not stay sad or mad for very long. Malcolm sneaked a peek at his watch and noted the time.
Reese looked down at the dirt floor. Without warning, he brought up his right fist and hit himself under his chin. He did it again and again, then punched himself repeatedly in the face, using both of his fists. Malcolm was caught completely off guard and thought at first Reese was just clowning around. When he saw the trail of bright red blood streaming from between his brother's lips, he knew something had gone horribly wrong.
"Reese, what the fuck! Stop that!"
"No! I'm a terrible person and deserve to be beaten!" Blood spewed from his mouth as Reese spoke. His words were slurred and Malcolm worried Reese might have severely bitten his tongue. There was a lot of blood.
"Oh my god, man, don't hit yourself anymore! Let me see your mouth, where the fuck is all that blood coming from? Oh fuck, I did this! Stop it!"
Reese pushed Malcolm away. "I don't deserve to live! I'm so fucked up! I just wanna die, I just wanna die!" Reese grabbed his backpack and produced a handgun, a gleaming black automatic, and put the barrel directly against his right temple, the tip buried in his hair. "Goodbye man, I'm sorry you had to have such a fucked up mess for a brother!"
Malcolm screamed at the top of his lungs "NO! GOD NO!" He lunged for the gun and managed to take it away from Reese. Malcolm rocked back on his knees, crying so hard he couldn't breathe. He was wracked with guilt, his brother had just tried to kill himself and it was all his fault! He held the gun tightly against his stomach, he wasn't about to let Reese have it back. He leaned over as far as he could and in between sobs, he threw up, still cradling and protecting the gun.
"Look at it!" Reese was shaking him by the shoulder. "Malcolm, look at the stupid gun!" The younger boy looked up at his brother, terrified by the events of the past few minutes. He started shaking uncontrollably, his face was completely white, all the color was gone, and Reese thought he might be having a seizure. "Malcolm, stop it! Look at the fucking gun!"
Malcolm took several deep breaths and managed to look closely at the gun in his hands. The barrel had a bright orange tip and it said G.I. Joe on the handle. It was a toy. He looked at Reese, confused and hurt, still shaking with raw emotion. His brother smiled and spit out the remains of two blood capsules he had bought at the costume store.
"It was all fake?" Malcolm was still crying. He couldn't believe his own brother would pull such a mean and demented trick on him.
Reese sat down next to Malcolm on the dirt floor. He punched him on the shoulder and was immediately sorry. He tried to put his arm around him but Malcolm pushed him away. Reese became angry and grabbed him by the collar of his bathrobe and got right in his face.
"Listen to me, I'm sorry I scared you but the next time you use me like that and fucking play with my emotions and try to manipulate me for a stupid school assignment, I will cut you loose and never, ever, ever speak to you again as long as we live! You got what you deserved you little shit!" Reese let go and retrieved a bottle of water from the cooler. He handed it to Malcolm.
"Here, take a few sips, it will make you feel better." Malcolm twisted off the plastic cap and swallowed a mouthful of the ice-cold water. Reese patted him on the back. "Maybe I went a little too far, huh?" Malcolm looked at him like he was insane.
"You think? I thought you were going to kill yourself! I should beat you!" Malcolm had stopped crying and was just plain mad.
"Before you say another word remember how all of this happened. You used me, without my permission, you treated me like I was some kind of pathetic mental cripple or a retard. I'm really sorry you got so scared but I think we both know you had it coming." Reese smiled and pointed between Malcolm's legs. "Uh, dude, maybe you should change your underwear."
Malcolm looked down and realized he was sitting in a puddle. He had been so frightened by the gun he had pissed himself and there were bits of puke all over his bathrobe. He wanted to take a hot shower.
Over the next 30 minutes, the two boys cleaned up their own messes. Reese wiped up all the fake blood, he had gotten it on both sleeping bags, the lantern, and even the ice chest. It was all over his tee shirt, which he pulled off and used as a cleaning cloth. Malcolm stipped off everything. His underpants were soaked with pee and his slippers, robe and shirt had puke on them. He thought about what to do with the soiled clothes and ended up just tossing them out of the tent, he'd let the rain wash them and he would hang them up to dry in the morning.
To his horror, squatting there bare assed naked, Malcolm realized he had forgotten to pack an extra pair of underwear and decided to put on a clean tee shirt and sleep in his cargo shorts. Reese had figured out the problem quickly and without saying a word tossed Malcolm a fresh pair of his own boxer briefs, they might be a little large on him but it was better than going commando all weekend. The younger boy put them on gratefully and sort of half-smiled at his brother.
A patch of wet dirt and a smelly puddle of puke lay between the two sleeping bags. Surprisingly, the boys worked together without even thinking. Malcolm grabbed the small collapsible shovel and Reese grabbed a trash bag and held it open while his brother scooped up the tainted dirt and tossed it inside. The older brother tied it firmly and tossed it as far as he could away from the tent flap.
Reese didn't bother putting on a fresh shirt and fell backwards onto his sleeping bag wearing just his underwear. Malcolm, of course, had put a can of room deodorizer in with the supplies and was now spraying it around, hoping to kill the smells of pee and puke. He carefully put the can back with the rest of the supplies and fell face down on his sleeping bag. The lantern was still on at full power but neither boy had the energy to turn it down or off.
Malcolm coughed a few times, giving Reese an excuse to speak. "Are you ok, you get that spray crap in your lungs?" Malcolm rolled over onto his back and stared at the tent's ceiling.
"Yeah, I guess I must have inhaled some, I'm ok. Um, thanks." Malcolm coughed again.
Reese closed his eyes and took a chance. "Did you mean it? You said you loved me, did you mean it or was that just a part of your experiment?"
Malcolm felt like the biggest creep that ever lived. His own brother was questioning whether he loved him and all because he wanted to get another A on a ridiculous school project. He was so lost in his own thoughts he had forgotten to answer Reese.
"I guess that's a no." His brother sounded hurt.
"Reese, no! I mean yes! I mean I do love you!" Malcolm sounded desperate for his brother to believe him. "Look, I meant every word of that part; it was easy for me to work it into the project because it's true."
Reese opened his eyes and took a deep breath. "I love you, too. Maybe if we had told each other that sooner we could have avoided all this." Reese's voice broke; he took a deep breath before speaking again. "I'm sorry, if I hadn't snooped I never would have even known about your assignment and we could just have enjoyed our trip."
Malcolm was curious. "Exactly how did you find out about it, anyway?"
Reese chuckled. "Well, I was surprised you agreed to go camping with me so quickly and got a little suspicious. I looked in one of your notebooks and saw a psychology reference with a note to put it in your trigonometry folder. I knew trig had nothing to do with psychology so I figured it must be a code. I looked on your laptop; by the way, I cracked your password in like 2 seconds, went to the trig folder and found your outline for the project with the document name WR, I figured that was Wilkerson, Reese."
Malcolm was impressed. "Wow, that's pretty smart. How'd you crack my password?"
"Are you kidding me?" Reese laughed aloud, enjoying the fact he had beaten his brainy brother in a battle of wits. "It's the birthdays of Francis, me, you, and Dewey, in reverse month, day, and year format, added together and divided by four, bracketed my W and M, for Wilkerson, Malcolm."
Malcolm was beyond impressed and wondered why Reese continued to hide his excellent mental abilities behind a mask of dumbness. "I'm sorry, again. I don't know how I could have been so fucked up, using you like that."
Reese rolled off his sleeping bag and unzipped it. "My bag used to be mom and dad's."
Malcolm was puzzled. "Yeah, so?"
"So, it sleeps two." Reese was kneeling, looking at his brother and smiling. He was terrified Malcolm would find his suggestion disgusting but he continued. "It sleeps two."
Malcolm understood. "Are you asking me to sleep with you?"
"Yes, if you want to, I mean. Maybe we can get a good night's sleep and wake up friends again." Reese crawled into the bag. Malcolm turned the lantern off and crawled in next to his brother. The two boys settled down into the warmth of the quilted fabric and quickly fell asleep in each other's arms.